by chance pt. 2
a/n: ik this isn't good but i swear i tried my very best. this is a much smaller second part to the professor!qimir au, hope you enjoy! :) no summary this time because my brain can't do it! btw is making a masterlist really hard or am i just stupid
warnings: english is not my first language! + soft qimir for the lonely souls
professor!qimir au / part 1 here
you watch as qimir, now your professor, walks around class answering questions. he was already finished with his lecture, mastering every step with expertise as he explained just how piaget believed language acquisition occurred. it was a rather good class, since a lot of students looked a lot more interested for obvious reasons. many people asked questions even after he dismissed everyone, but you could see that some of them, the girls touching his arms when he bent closer to hear their doubts, didn't really have any questions. not about what he taught, at least.
it didn't really matter. you tried to convince yourself it didn't, anyway. at the end of the day, you were the one sleeping in his arms. or the other way around, it didn’t matter. what really mattered was that he was yours, but none of your classmates knew that and it made you slightly frustrated.
there, in the classroom, you were just another student. a very quiet one at that, even though your friend remembered the one time you asked about qimir and kept calling him over, glancing amused at you whenever he was close.
it'd been a month he became your professor, as the new term brought new subjects and some professors you'd never even seen before, and it'd been longer you were together. together, but not exactly dating, since qimir never asked you out.
the meetings stopped happening by chance as qimir always let you know when he'd stop by the café near your apartment or buy stuff you complained you didn't have at home at the grocery store on the corner. whenever you could, you happily joined him, relishing on having someone to rely on as he helped and happily paid for everything you needed.
you tried stopping him from doing so multiple times, even when you two went out to grab some food. he'd always pay when you went to the bathroom, sometimes before you could even finish your meal. last time, he body blocked you so you wouldn't be able to merely talk to the cashier, although his fingers were still intertwined with yours as he used his other hand to pay with his card.
he also spent a lot of time at your apartment. your sister was a busy adult, busier than you, and always stayed over at her girlfriend's, so you usually had the apartment for yourself, anyway. however, you constantly asked yourself why he always invited himself over, never asking if you wanted to stop by his home as well. you could see he wasn't as comfortable talking about his personal life, but that only made you worry more. it felt like he didn't trust you enough.
it was harder to complain when he was perfect in every other aspect. you thought he'd be as chatty as he was when he chased you around before the night at your apartment, but he was actually quieter than you expected. he liked hearing you talk, though, and whenever you started rambling about something you were obsessing over he would pay attention, asking questions as he watched you with curious, soft eyes. sometimes he'd even ask to check it out himself, even if it was a whole ass show with over ten seasons.
he was also unexpectedly sweet.
he'd once paid attention to your random remark about how you've never really explored the city and planned a whole city tour, taking you to the parks, museums and famous shops as you let him guide you with trust.
you were happy. much happier than during your last relationship, for sure, but you wanted to be able to know more about him without feeling the bubbling sensation of anxiety building up at the pit of your stomach every time you thought about asking something to him. you were afraid he'd brush you off just like he did that one time you asked him about his family in the elevator, although now things were different. everything was different. you were allowed to be interested in your boyfriend, not really boyfriend, but almost boyfriend's life.
so, you decided tonight would be the night. he let you know he'd be sleeping over and your sister was going out with some friends, again leaving the two of you alone. it was already dark outside when he arrived, his work bag resting on his shoulder, his lids heavy with tiredness as he stared at you, smiling softly at the sight of you in an oversized shirt of his and your messy hair.
"hey." you said first and he only answered with a kiss on your check, making his way to your couch to let his body heavy with exhaustion rest on the soft cushions.
you followed him, watching as he fluttered his lashes closed, strands of black, soft hair falling on his face. you brushed them away, letting your hand rest on the side of his face as he hummed, pleased. "does your friend know about us? she's funny." the question is unexpected, since it's the first time since he started teaching you that you talk about something that happened in class.
you furrow your eyebrows. "no, she doesn't. she's just silly." he chuckled at your remark, opening his eyes to look at you, taking in every detail of your face. “how does it feel having your boyfriend as your professor?”
you raised your eyebrow, not hesitating in your answer. “boyfriend? you never asked me out.” you take your hand from his face, turning away just in time to see the bewildered look on his features as he sat up. you walked to the kitchen, feeling stupid and childish for letting your jealousy and insecurities take over. you didn’t really mind him not asking you out, you already knew his feelings for you were real. you just wanted him to be more open, and maybe for him to brush off everyone that tried touching him in class.
“i thought…” qimir started, following you to the kitchen, leaving his bag on your couch. “i didn’t think that was necessary. we're together for almost two months now, y/n.” you sighed. you didn’t want to discuss labels when you were angry and confused for other reasons.
“it doesn’t matter, qimir. what really matters is the way you never talk about yourself or even let me ask. have you realized you’re already so close to my sister but i don't even know if you have siblings? or where you live? i didn’t even get your address. like, is it far from here? or is it a walking distance? i can’t tell because you never tell me anything. i don’t even know your favorite foods because you always order the same stuff i do!” and there it was. everything you’ve been only thinking about, keeping to yourself for weeks. the frustration in your voice was palpable, as well as the desperation in your eyes. you hoped he wouldn’t hate you like you kept thinking he would, and the time it took for him to say anything back just killed you. he just stood there, so serious he looked like when he was about to scold a student, not a glance of softness in his stern face. you could only reach the conclusion you fucked up bad.
“i’m sorry, y/n.” he finally spoke, features softening when he got closer to you to take your hand in his. his eyes didn’t meet yours when you glanced at his face. “i don’t really like talking about myself or my family, and i thought it was okay.” he pursed his lips apologetically. “can i make us some tea? i'll give you my address right now, if that will make you feel more certain about us.”
quietly, you move away so qimir could grab the electric kettle, filling it up before turning it on. you waited in silence. you knew he wanted to say something from the way he fidgets, his eyes moving from his hands while he served you both tea to your face, maybe looking for a reaction he couldn’t find in your tranquil guise.
when he offered you your cup, back against a counter while facing you, you grabbed it and let him talk as much as he wanted. and you took in every detail he shared from his life in a low tone, as if he was telling you a secret. multiple secrets. you listened as he told you about how his parents didn't support his career choice and just drifted away, how it’d been years since they last talked. you listened when he told you more about his best friend, osha, and how his previous breakup only led him to be even more discreet about his personal life, nodding when he apologized, stating he never wanted to make you feel insecure. he was the one who was insecure, and not because of you.
and when silence engulfed both of you, you moved to hug him, arms wrapped tightly around his waist. he hugged you back, softly kissing the top of your head.
“i'm sorry for being angry at you.” you muttered, head resting against his chest to listen to the sound of his steady heartbeat.
“you shouldn't be. you were right to feel this way, and if you never said anything we’d never talk it out.” his hands caressed your sides in a gentle, soothing touch. “is there anything else you want to know about me?”
you look up to him, eyes meeting his behind the soft strands that covered his face. you hold the gaze while pondering about his question.
“why do you always order the same thing i order? i can’t know what you like that way.” he chuckled at your remark, caressing your back when he lowered himself to peck your lips.
“i like whatever you like, love.” you frowned at his answer, and he smiled. “i mean it! your taste is really similar to mine. that’s why i usually go with whatever you want, unless i feel like having something else.” he explained, gently brushing your hair with his fingers. “is that all?”
“why don’t you ever take me to your house?” you watch his face, his eyebrows furrowed and eyes never leaving yours.
“because it doesn’t feel like home.” he muttered, suddenly looking so vulnerable you wanted to kiss him until the feeling faded away. “your apartment feels much more welcoming. and warm.” he reasoned, and you nodded.
“maybe we should look for an apartment together.” you blurt out, not thinking about what it meant until you heard yourself vocalize the thought. “i mean- too early, right? sorry.” you force yourself to laugh, detaching from the hug you shared to avoid qimir’s eyes, afraid he’d be freaked out. even you felt like freaking out at the shameless invitation.
with your back facing him, you flinched when his fingers creeped their way around your waist, hugging you once again.
“i wouldn’t mind moving in with you,” he started, and you could feel the weight of his head resting on top of yours “but i do think we’d have to give ourselves a little more time before doing that. we can still search for places.”
“really?” you turn to face him, calmer now that he’s reassured you you weren’t the only one eager to make the relationship work out, even willing to take new, big steps into it.
“really. i don’t plan on letting you go unless you ask me to.” he grinned at you, hand sliding down your cheek to cup your face. “pizza for dinner? i'm starving.”
“pizza for dinner.” you agree, then furrowing your eyebrows at him. “you’re choosing flavors today. by yourself”
“whatever you say, love.” he chuckles.
