Yoikst

Big boobs, bigger dreams

[xxziggystardust]

[psyducked]

I remember the second time I ever bottomed the guy used something he called “love garden” which was supposed to help with the pain because I said how much I hated bottoming the first time—and I was amazed! Although it still felt like taking a shit I at least didn’t feel like someone was digging in me like they were looking for a spoon in the garbage disposal. But the morning after I went to go poop and everything fell out of me with no push or anything and I noticed I had a one inch gape! 9 hours later! I spent the next 12 hours having panic attacks and considered how I would call my mom and explain to her that I needed my hole sewn up when at last I regained control and clenched back up.

Anyway, my man Elmo here is looking exactly how I looked when I went to inspect myself that morning and could slide 4 fingers in without blinking

[ghostly-harmless]

[toocooltobehipster]

full video

[cc-videos]

“[loud and hyperactive tone] You think, and I’m not saying it’s gonna happen! I’m not saying I wanna do it, I’m not saying it’s a real thing, but just for a second, you look at it all, and the spilled liquid, and you go, ‘Hey. If, if, just if, if I killed myself, I wouldn’t have to clean this up.’

I’m not saying I’m going to! I’m not saying it’s really going to happen, but if, just if, if! If I killed myself, technically, let’s be honest, the problem would be gone. That’s all!

Was that like, too much? Be honest. Number one I’m allowed to joke about that because I tried to kill myself once, and number two, maybe not like suicide, maybe just like, a jet engine like falls on my head crushing me like Donnie Darko style and so like it gets everything and the spill doesn’t really matter anymore… [deep breath] anyway….”

[lovebiteclub]

GIVE 👏🏻 BOYS 👏🏻 ROMANTIC 👏🏻 PHYSICAL 👏🏻 AFFECTION 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW MANY GUYS I HAVE BEEN WITH OR TALKED TO THAT SAY THEY HAVE NEVER HAD SOMEONE HOLD THEM OR KISS THEIR FOREHEADS OR PLAY WITH THEIR HAIR. I HAVE HAD A BOY BREAK DOWN IN FRONT OF ME BECAUSE I HELD HIM TO MY CHEST AS HE GOT SLEEPY AND HE HADNT EVER HAD SOMEONE HOLD HIM LIKE THAT !!!!! THIS IS NOT RIGHT !!!!! BOYS DESERVE PHYSICAL AFFECTION JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE AND NOT JUST IN A SEXUAL WAY !!!!!!!!!!! THEY DESERVE TO FEEL LOVED AND CARED FOR JUST LIKE THE LADIES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cathartik]

I reblogged this already but I'm reblogging again because it's important!!

[forgottenbones]

[antiandrogen]

im losing my mind

[kosmonin]

[kosmonin]

pls

[sunshine-snowflake]

[borbamena-deactivated20180821]

“what the fuck richard”, “way to go paul”, and “adam” are a very powerful trio of vines

[borbamena-deactivated20180821]

a fourth, more aggressive vine: “PATRICIA”

[dayoldblacktreacle]

how could you leave out “nice going, Ron”

[messable]

imagine reading a book with the name of all the guys that ever had a crush on you

[gossipinq]

why would i want a book with blank pages in it

[robotjiji-deactivated20190529]

shout out to all the black and white cats named oreo, all the orange tabbies named tiger, all the grey cats named smokey, all the black cats named shadow, and all the calico cats named patches

[robotjiji-deactivated20190529]

how could i forget the white cats named snowball, shout out to all the white cats named snowball

[dennys]

college is, like, really important. but if you don’t do well, remember you can still get paid to run a tumblr for a restaurant.

[s00nstuck023]

we’re finally unlocking the dennys admin’s backstory

[morethanthediagnosis]

[daily-showerthoughts]

- In 20 years, filmmakers will be making period pieces set in the early 2000s with over-exaggerated aspects of that era, such as frosted tips, striped polos, shark teeth necklaces and blasting Sum 41 all the time

[helpmedudes]

Are you implying that the 2000’s era wasn’t aggressively doing all of these things

[toastbutteregg]

what a jerk

and a thief

[captain-acab]

*Lemony Snicket voice* The word ‘poison’ here can mean many things. ‘Poison’ may literally refer to the presence of an unwashed llama in a stream from which a nearby village likely collects its drinking water. Likewise, it may figuratively refer to the effect of greed and isolation on the priorities of a young ruler, or the machinations of a villainous royal advisor on the health and wellbeing of said young ruler. In this case, however, ‘poison’ most literally refers to the poison, the poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco’s poison… That poison.

[ohifonlyx33]

i feel like i was just rick-rolled

[thebelchers]

“I meant go, not scat.”

[smalltonystark]

honestly it is SO goddamn funny whenever some straight man calls me a whore or a bitch or something like girl you think that shit hurts my feelings? my closest friend once told me i dressed like an accounting major going through her 2nd divorce while trying to get her oldest stepchild to call her once a month. THATS a real insult. try harder.

[lovely-jazmynn]