I Never Outgrew My Naruto Phase...

Idk how to write descriptions, I’m bad at them. But I’m 24, I’m a Trans Male, I use he/it/ neopronouns (bug, doll, and creampuff). I’m the Himbo Malewife of @pearlbracelet. I like HP, Wrestling, Marvel, and Anime. I’m Pansexual, and a Slytherin. I don’t have a specific thing I post so your just gonna see a bunch of different crap that I reblogged. Though lately I’ve been posting mainly video game stuff. I’ve literally been on here since I was like 15-16 and idk how I’ve survived all the craziness of this website.

[02decay]

[beardedmrbean]

[wizardarchetypes]

today i died at sea

[wizardarchetypes]

i'm a romantic you see

[smokefuneral-deactivated2015020]

[vampkillerkiller]

???

[vampkillerkiller]

I wanted to figure out what the hell was going on here, so I did a reverse image search and now I have even more questions?

Why is he reading the Bible?

[hitmyvape-deactivated20251006]

can no one just recognize a vibe these days why do we have to hate on him

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i appear to have made mortal nemeses with a pigeon

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

tumblr stop rooting for the pigeon

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i appear to have made mortal nemeses with a pigeon

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

tumblr stop rooting for the pigeon

[boomer-mythology-destroyer]

[jadeharleyinc]

hey sorry. can you stand a little further back and we try again

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

you know that guy who goes around purposely getting stung by horribly venomous insects so he can scientifically rate and describe the painfulness of the sting? ok so that but with vampires.

a scientist who purposely gets bitten by a vampire, then experiments on themself in order to document once and for all which vampire myths actually apply

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the first thing the scientist does after being bitten is eat an entire bulb of raw garlic. they record all their experiments and start putting clips on youtube. eventually it gets so popular they get a network tv show. it’s called Vampire MythBusters

[mamalaw1021]

alternate title:

Myth Stakin’

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

@jackrabbitlovesong said: Myth Stakin’ is even funnier because it sounds like the dude has a lisp from the teeth

LOVE THIS

[spixxal]

AUGH.

[spixxal]

My two favorite comments from tiktok

[doing-90mph-in-central-london]

he's going through a hair dye phase (sleeping in a berry patch)

[doing-90mph-in-central-london]

feels like some of u aren't properly appreciating the fact that he sleeps in a berry patch. and he rolls over and squishes the berries into his fur. because he's so sleepy and content.

[doing-90mph-in-central-london]

maybe people think he's an ugly dog but just to be clear he is actually a beautiful pig

[daily-weasel]

[mammalidentifier]

Mountain weasel (Mustela altaica)

[professorsparklepants]

#it fucken sumny (via @mindfulwrath)

[feminist-space]

[official-lucifers-child]

the wemther brothers

[springlucked]

Slimeknight kiss real btw

[justaninternetgal]

AT THE CROSSROADS I’M GOING TO KILL MYSELF

[narutowatcher15]

Today I learned that there is a Fandom shipping MostMayo and D3rlord

[pukicho]

Top ten glands in your body to produce venom with

[leaf-de-man]

for sure the balls

[pukicho]

Your conjecture is baseless. Let’s see what the science says.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

tumblr entertain me

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

tumblr please when is it MY turn to be amused. provide me with whimsy i beg you

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

you people are so bad at this. the (best) collective noun for a group of clowns is a "trunkload." "Caligula" was a cutesy childhood nickname meaning "little boots." ventriloquism was originally a religious practice; ancient greeks used their tummy noises to talk to ghosts. i have to do everything around here

[cdarklock]

But surely you can see that you provide US with more amusement when YOU are starved of it

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

When am I allowed to be happy.

[cipheramnesia]

No problem! I know great solution to this. Famous tumblr clown Gaudy is in town tonight! We all go watch, the clown shuffle and dance in the clown cage, and we throw old moldy potatoes! Great fun! Will for sure cheer you up. I give you moldy potato, we throw them together, no?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

NOT THE MOLDY POTATOES PLEASE NO MORE POTATOE I AM COVERED IN POTATOE BRUISE

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"happy valentines" so you support driving the snakes out of ireland? unbelievable

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

wait that's st patrick. hold on gimme a minute to research a reason why st valentine is also problematic

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*getting sucked down the rabbit hole* hold up there were at least THREE OF HIM?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

huh, sure no one's actually sure who the hell this guy was. not in a "the catholic church basically invented him" way (bc they do do that) but because all we really know about him is he was gruesomely murdered martyred around February 14. and it turns out there are at least THREE dudes named Valentine who fit that description

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

it gets crazier, there are at least eleven other Saint Valentines because 'Valentine' was a stupid popular name. so stupidly popular that multiple ones got murdered on the same day. Feb 14 was just a particularly shitty day for guys named Valentine.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

straight up it should be illegal for a physical storefront not to accept physical currency, or for restaurants not to provide physical menus

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I'm assuming the above is a normie opinion (as it should be) so i do wanna go a tiny step further and explicitly state any laundromat that requires digital payment should be burned to the fucking ground

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

if a business cooerces its customers to download an app, i should legally be allowed to set both the business and its board of directors on fire

[the-ganymedian]

Additionally, it should be illegal for a vending machine to not accept physical currency.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

precisely!

though it should be noted that cashless vending machines do accept at least one form of physical currency:

[knot-doing-it]

Fully agree, though unfortunately they tend to also have eyes

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

which brings me to fun and easy direct action to prune the terrifying overgrowth of the modern Surveillance State:

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

[caustic-pixie]

OP the tags!!