Is that NATHANIEL SHAW? Wow, they do look a lot like JACOB ELORDI. I hear HE is a TWENTY year old JUNIOR who are studying ENGINEERING at Luxor University. Word is they are a SCHOLARSHIP student who is FOR The Unhinged. You should watch out because they can be OVER-SENSITIVE and AGGRESSIVE, but on the bright side they can also be LOYAL and PASSIONATE. Ultimately, you’ll get to see it all for yourself.
THE ESSENTIALS
Nathaniel Shaw hates rich people. Raised in a poor family, by an on-and-off single mother thanks to his absentee father, he had to work for every single cent he’s ever had. He dealt with this with bitterness and resentment, choosing to take it out by punching whoever pissed him off, getting into fights and trouble more often than not as he was growing up. With his athletic talents, it was enough to get him a scholarship to Luxor, but not enough that he’d ever get the chip off his shoulder about being the poor kid around the unbelievably wealthy. He’s over-sensitive, withdrawn, and tactless, but if you get on his good side, he may just allow you to share his weed and show that underneath that, he does have a pisces stellium, and does in fact have feelings beyond just letting them get hurt so he can start hitting people.
CHARACTER INSPIRATIONS
ryan atwood (the oc) - jj maybank (obx) - william magnusson (skam) - tim riggins (fnl) - jess (gilmore girls) - matt murdock (daredevil) - ryan atwood, again - no, like really. he’s just costco ryan atwood - marcus baker (ginny and georgia) - dan humphrey (ew i hate that) (og gossip girl) - nate macauley (one of us is lying) - johnny castle (dirty dancing) - the ninth doctor (doctor who) - roy kent (ted lasso) - the hound (game of thrones) - cassian (acotar series) - tyler durden (fight club)
TV TROPES
dark and troubled past - the stoner - byronic hero - abusive parents - disappeared dad - fish out of water - scholarship student - the casanova - jerk jock - delinquents - book dumb - tall dark and snarky - sour outside sad inside - hidden depths
LUXOR UNIVERSITY 2021-2022
Major:
Engineering
Extracurriculars:
Rowing, Swimming, and Soccer Teams
CONNECTION IDEAS
connection page here
and always down to brainstorm and put nate into anything that would fit !!
BASIC INFORMATION
FULL NAME: Nathaniel Shaw
NICKNAME(S): Nate, Natey (only from his younger sister, if anyone else calls him that, they’re consenting to be punched in the face)
DATE OF BIRTH: march 23rd
AGE: twenty
ZODIAC SIGN: aries sun, pisces moon, aries rising, pisces mercury, pisces venus (in retrograde), aries mars. have fun!
OCCUPATION: ????????????? part time pool boy, idk beyond that
HOMETOWN: sag harbor, ny/melbourne, australia
NATIONALITY: american and australian dual citizen
ETHNICITY: a white man?! no!.gif
LANGUAGE(S): english
GENDER & PRONOUNS: he/him
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: straight, to make it worse
RELIGION: definitely an atheist
POLITICAL AFFILIATION: i don’t think he has political opinions other than eat the rich
PHYSICAL INFORMATION
FACE CLAIM: Jacob Elordi
HEIGHT: 6′5″ 😏
EYE COLOUR: brown
HAIR COLOUR + STYLE: dark brown, worn long-ish like this or maybe occasionally.....like this (yes, the mullet, sorry)
ACCENT + INTENSITY: Australian - it comes and goes with how strong it is. He lived in Melbourne from age 4-14, so it’s definitely there, but it also is faded at this point, especially on certain words, though it can definitely come out stronger as well
TATTOO(S): here
SCAR(S): probably a lot
PIERCING(S): one in each ear lobe - wears a plain gold hoop in them
GLASSES: yes, a la this photo, but he doesn’t wear them 99% of the time. is this man just wandering around blind? very possibly
CLOTHING STYLE: honestly i imagine a lot like Jacob Elordi’s more lowkey style which is cool - something like this, this, this, this, or this. bonus felix fit for inspo too. def including the rings too 🥲
GOALS/DESIRES: literally nate barely even wants to be alive, so no, he doesn’t have any goals
FEARS: turning into his father
HOBBIES: ....smoking weed, contemplating the misery of his existence, punching people in the face, fucking bitches and getting money (except the money part because he’s poor), playing the guitar/lowkey fucking around with music production
HABITS: his habits include smoking a joint daily, punching marcello whenever he sees him......there’s probs more but that’s what i got tbh
SMOKES? weed, constantly.
DRINKS? yes
DRUGS? nope. for now. 😏
Most of Nate’s personality is negative. Even what could be a positive trait (such as competitiveness, honesty, sensitivity, intensity....) he tends to turn it up to 1000 until it’s damaging. But honestly, most of it just negative to start with. He’s very withdrawn and broody, spends most of his time and interactions just glowering at people, and yet has an extremely short fuse, so will go from no reaction to swinging in the blink of an eye. he basically throws tantrums like a toddler, albeit a very large, 6′5″ toddler who actually knows how to fight.
However, he is extremely loyal if he decides someone is worth it - spoiler alert, most people aren’t - he will be there for them in the best way Nate knows how. Still tactless, but like, he tries his best. Basically his way of showing emotional support is being like so, uh, you wanna smoke a joint? Because at the end of the day, Nate is not very smart. Emotionally, or in a book smart sense. Why he’s doing engineering, I have no idea - someone probably told him too and he just said sure it’s not like I have any hopes or dreams of my own. He can come off a bit of himbo, just with his attempts to be charming and flirt with women (when he wants to). Plus he’s hot. And he knows it. And isn’t afraid to use it.
When it comes to women (ladies, please run), Nate likes to be pursued. He hates having to make the first move - probably due to of feeling like he isn’t worth it, more on that below - and he will flirt, charm, seduce, but when it actually comes down to it, he wants the other person to make that final leap. Some sort of validation or something. He likes when girls pay attention to him, and tries to coax it out of them. However, he also has a lot of resentment towards his mother for chasing after his father and bending over backwards to try to make things work, so he also loses interest as soon as a girl is too interested. And when he loses interest, he won’t say anything, he’ll just ghost or cheat. The only kind of confrontation Natey boi is good at is one that involves his fists.
Nate’s very dry, prone to swearing (he did grow up in Australia), and his sense of humor is very deadpan. If you actually talk to him, you realize there’s a lot of sarcasm in his cynicism, put the issue is that he’s extremely withdrawn from most people, and honestly doesn’t even see the point in having conversations with them. He also uses this to hide a lot of his fundamental insecurities - he genuinely feels like he’s not going to amount to much, mostly because he’s been made to feel that way. He acts brash and confident, but he really does struggle with feeling like he’s worth anything. It’s part of why he gets so over-competitive, because he wants to prove he’s good at something.
FAMILY
FAMILY INFO HERE
SOCIAL CLASS: lower class
FATHER: Luke Shaw (Frank Grillo)
MOTHER: Ella Shaw, née Finnegan (January Jones)
SIBLING(S)? 3 - older brother; Liam Shaw (Nick Robinson), older sister; Melanie Shaw (Virginia Gardner), and a younger sister; Finnegan Shaw (Olivia Dejonge). Plus one surprise half-sister; Navy James (Kendall Jenner)
CHILDREN? do not let this man reproduce no matter what you do
BIOGRAPHY
Nathaniel Shaw is the 3rd of four children to a very unhappy couple. Ella was twenty, and Luke, her very new Australian boyfriend - a deadbeat musician who wasted any money he got on drugs and alcohol - was twenty-seven, when they got pregnant the first time, and spent the next five years popping out four children. Ella was from Sag Harbor (aka the Hamptons), and she planned on raising her children there, but when Nate was three years old (Finnegan, the youngest, was two), Luke decided to go back to Australia, not giving many fucks if Ella and his children came with them. Ella, having felt like the last seven years of her life would be a waste if she let him walk away, despite their tumultuous, on and off again relationship, picked up the four kids, moved them to Melbourne with their father, and married him. Even married, they broke up a lot, Luke going off and disappearing for months at a time. Ella was inattentive, cold, and distant to her children, even though it never managed to extend to their asshole of a father. All of her emotional output was in that relationship, and her four Shaw siblings ended up holding themselves together to raise each other.
When Nate was thirteen, after ten years in Australian, Ella decided she had enough, moved back to Sag Harbor, and immediately began the process to divorce Luke. The sibling’s were all shocked, a move around the world confusing enough when you’re a toddler, but nearly impossible for teenagers. Especially for lower class teenagers moving into a place like Sag Harbor, where people - the people who actually lived there - were comparable to them, but there were mansions worth millions of dollars, celebrities, and whole shit ton of wealth that came there to vacation. Nate took the move the hardest, and he started getting into a lot of fights while refusing to adjust. Nate and Liam had always had a rough relationship, and brawled as siblings do, though they tended to get more violent - egged on by their father, who could contribute little, but could contribute how to throw a punch.
After a few months, one of his fights ended up constituting as assault. It was bad enough, and the other kid had no chance to get any fighting back, so Nate ended up in juvie. He had no idea what he was going to do - he knew his mother couldn’t afford to pay for a lawyer, and he pretty much resigned himself to staying in there for however long he got sentenced for. Luckily, the charges were dropped, which would make you think would scare him straight - perhaps get him to stop fighting, but no such luck. Instead, all through high school, Nate had a bit of a reputation. He was a stellar athlete, particularly in swimming, but even more than that, he was spectacular at kicking someone’s ass.
Unfortunately for Nate, he ended up rubbing shoulders with a lot of rich, trust fund brats. When they were in the Hamptons for the summer, or sneaking out there during various other vacations to party with no supervision, Nate (and often his siblings) would be invited along. And for the first couple years of high school, he was fine with it. But as he got older, as he got more aware of the opportunities they would always be presented that he would never even get a chance to sniff at, he grew resentful, he grew bitter, and he grew to hate them. Enough so that even though he had been dating one of them - Parker, a senator’s daughter - for over a year, he had no qualms about ghosting all of them at the beginning of his senior year, bitterness coating his every thought and opinion towards the rich kids he had previously tolerated. His partying may have gotten more under control - slightly, just due to the lack of access - his fighting got worse. There were multiple times where he was almost caught, almost in serious trouble, but everyone managed to cut him a break. They felt for the Shaw kids, especially Nate, with his talent and yet no parent to support him. So his teachers and even a cop or two, cut the kid a break, knowing that so long as he got through this last year of high school with his nose relatively clean, he’d be able to get out of town with a scholarship.
And he did end up getting a scholarship. He got a full ride to Luxor for his athletic talents, and even though it wasn’t the type of place he wanted to be, knowing the crowd of students would be much like the ones he grew up seeing descend on the Hamptons every summer, he went anyways. He had no other choice - it’s not like he could pay for college on his own.
SOME FUN FACTS
yes, nate has felix’s jacob’s real australian accent
worked as a pool boy and mowed lawns and shit during the summer once he moved back to the Hamptons as a teen to make some extra cash, so rubbed shoulders with a lot of rich kids, which just made him more bitter about all of it
he did in fact sleep with several milf housewives while he was doing above jobs
he is basically ryan atwood and i regret nothing
he came to luxor as a freshman in college, but he’s ~not very smart~ so he’s in classes with sophomores even though he is a junior. he may or may not have failed a class or two.
plays the guitar and piano and likes to fuck around with music production in his free time - his father is a musician so his lack of acknowledging this/sharing this/actually allowing himself to enjoy it is due to his ~daddy issues~
both palms rose in a clearly too late attempt to block a majority of the splash, eyes squeezing shut. if she couldn’t beat him at offense, the least she could do is try to maintain a not-pitiful defense. in an attempt to help her odds, parker hurried to remove her button up, which kept billowing in the water and severely inhibiting her range of motion. with a thwack it was set just outside the pool, leaving only a white bralette clinging to her chest.
“you always have an advantage,” she countered with a knowing smile, returning to face him. nate was reserved. nate—this newer, stiffer nate—at least acted like, for the most part, he just didn’t care. and while part of that made parker feel badly for him, it also meant that he wasn’t the one that ended up putting himself out here, potentially making a fool of himself. unlike parker, who apparently couldn’t resist putting her hand on the stove if it meant she might feel even a little warmth. even now, she slowly drifted towards him, the whole idea of them being good and okay being immediately thrown into a trial by fire. or water, rather. “so if scare isn’t the right word,” she picked up, still edging closer, “what is? intimidate? unnerve?” as the last word left her lips, so did a laugh, parker lunging forward and pressing her hands to his shoulders in an effort to push him under. with the touch barrier long broken, she just couldn’t help herself.
-
Nate couldn’t help the downwards turn of his lips when she mentioned him always having the advantage, the frown settling onto his face before he could stop it. “You know that’s not true,” he said stiffly. Not for real, not with what actually mattered, not in a place like this. Too many people at Luxor had their advantages come from their parents, their families, their bank accounts, opportunities provided Nate would never even be able to sniff at, and he was all too aware of it.
He let Parker approach, making no move to pull away even as her motives were clear as day, holding his face neutral as he prepared for her attack, trying not to show he knew what was coming. It was easier to focus on that then her question, not wanting to show that she unsettled him, that to answer would to be reveal things that he held too close to his chest, that he couldn’t trust her with. As her hands found his shoulders, Nate let himself be pushed under, basking in the feeling of being underwater for a moment, the silence that came with it, before he reached for Parker’s hips - an easy grasp, from underneath her. He yanked her down, wrapping his arm around her waist as he pulled her towards him, before using the momentum to carry them both to break the surface, Nate holding the redhead now. “You remind me,” he said, not explaining what she reminded him of before his lips found hers, kissing her rather than elaborating on the hurt behind the words.
“Or else what?” Rhia taunted, picking up the pace of her swinging legs as if certain Nate would stay complacent about it. She shivered from the squeeze oh her thigh, and Rhia’s grasp tightened around his neck, pressing herself into his back. She dropped onto her bed with a soft oof, and her hair sprawled in every which direction as Nate leaned his back into her. She grunted in an attempt to sit up, though his weight kept her lower back against the mattress. Her hands slipped under his arms to wrap around his chest, and she leveraged herself so she could lean toward the shoulder Nate looked over. “You love how cute I make it sound,” Rhia mocked in a soft voice and pressed her cheek to his temple. “You can’t convince me otherwise, Nathaniel,” she sang.
-
“I’ll drop you,” Nate said in response as Rhia pressed herself into him, thoroughly distracted by something other than her swinging legs at that point. He didn’t bother moving, keeping her pinned underneath him, though he lifted his arms slight so she could slip her grasp around his chest, shifting backwards so he was comfortably flush against her. His hand found her thigh again, lightly tracing his fingers up and down the outside of her leg, pushing the skirt of her slip dress up and out of his way so he could continue his path to nearly her hip. Nate’s eyes settled on her face for a few moments, a frown coming over his face. “Don’t, Rhi,” he said softly, the word perhaps more earnest than he’d normally - soberly - allow. After a couple more seconds of his eyes on hers, he gave her leg another squeeze, before letting go of her, pulling out of her grasp so he could grab a blunt from beside the bed. “Smoke?” he asked, fishing his lighter out of the pocket of his jeans without waiting for Rhi to answer.
who: @nate-shaw
when: after midnight. the weekend following nate’s birthday, post concert.
where: rhia’s dorm.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Watch my head, my head!” Rhia squealed, ducking her head into Nate’s neck to avoid the door frame he stumbled through. Her legs swung lazily by each of his sides, and her arms wrapped around his neck. She giggled delightfully, her cheeks warm from the alcohol she’d downed throughout the night. “You’re supposed to handle the merchandise with care, Nathaniel,” she reprimanded, rolling her head to gaze at his face. She hummed a soft tone, admiring the point of his chin and the pinkness of his lips. It was enough of a distraction she blinked down and noticed her mattress, and anticipation washed over her. “Down, please,” she practically sang, lifting her arms to collapse into her covers.
“Stop swinging your damn legs,” Nate grumbled as he swayed slightly from the weight of Rhia kicking her legs at his side, which combined with the amount of alcohol and distraction from having been close to her all night, was not doing much to help his balance. He gave the back of one of her thighs a squeeze, glancing at her out of the corner of his eyes as he felt her gaze examining his face, a small twitch upwards of one corner of his lips the only reaction he gave. He finally got them to her bed, turning around to drop Rhia unceremoniously onto her mattress, though he sat down too, not quite ready to move away from her and end the night of indulging in each other. He didn’t release her legs as he lay back into her torso, effectively pinning her underneath his weight as he tilted his chin up to look at her over his shoulder. “What did I tell you about calling me that?” he said, the words too lazy to actually be taken threateningly.
In the moment she looked away, she feared it was too late. Waiting a second longer than she originally planned turned into her undoing, that mistake alone allowing him to catch her. There was a thrill behind the constant push and pull between them, tension building whenever one of them dared to step closer. Lennon brought the bottle in her hands to her lips, taking a sip as she let her feet carry her to the other side of the room. She knew he could of played it off entirely, but the greeting alone prompted her to start a conversation. “This music gets worse the more I try to ignore it, how the hell are you managing so well?”
Nate looked down at Lennon as she spoke, cocking his head to one side as if it was his first time noticing the music. After a few moments, he shrugged up his shoulders, eyes flickering up and down Lennon’s frame before he spoke. “Doesn’t bother me,” he finally said, sipping from his beer before dragging the back of his hand across his lips. “Sure you could go flirt with whoever has the aux into turning on something more to your tastes,” he said, the slightest curl appearing in his upper lip as he spoke. Nate’s arms crossed in front of his chest, a twitch of a smirk appearing after a moment. “Or find some other way to distract yourself.”
Morgan wasn’t expecting anything from their texts, figuring there was a good chance that Nate would be busy like the other night…or asleep. To his surprise this interaction seemed to be headed in a different direction, the knock on the other side of the door pulling her attention from the tiny screen resting against her palm. Her gaze traveled up his appearance as she pulled the door open, lingering over his lips before finally reach his eyes. “You came fast.” The brunette responded, a smirk appearing on her face like a mirror. She barely had time to react before their lips connected, a hand reaching up to rest on the back of his neck and pull him closer. Using the momentum she pulled him in further, walking them backwards until she was met with the sight of her doorway.
Nate let out a low laugh, wincing slightly as her words. “That’s the last thing any guy wants to hear,” he pointed out, the other potential meaning of her statement certainly unfortunate if it was to be foreshadowing for the night. He let the hand that was grasping his neck pull him further into her room, following in Morgan’s footsteps until he used the arm around her waist to lift her up, his other hand moving to settle underneath her thigh. “Had to make up for being busy last time, though,” he said against her lips, gently nipping on her lower lip before pulling away slightly. “What kind of company were you looking for?” he asked, his voice low as he shut the door behind him.
“is that what i did? i fucked you over?” parker asked quietly, gaze still trained on nate as he pulled away. it wasn’t a question she expected to gain a response out of. more of a point to be made. fucking someone over just wasn’t the kind of person she was. perhaps it was typical for someone to think only the best of themselves in that way, but she knew this of herself. the idea that one day she’d shrug off her kindness and screw him over for some sort of personal gain was heartbreak all over again.
you were always perfect to me. it’s not you, it’s just the way things are.
people like you will always fuck over people like me. always.
before parker could decide whether to say something else or merely offer a dissatisfied smile and walk away, he was nearing her again. her eyes refused to waver while he spoke, still captivated by the conversation. anything he had to explain, any questions he would answer, she elected to hear. even, foolishly, one that would catch her off guard and end up with her in the water. before a don’t you dare or even a no could leave her, she’d been fully submerged. upon breaking the surface she inhaled a gasp of a breath, hands frantically reaching for his shoulders. “you are so predictable, nathaniel shaw,” she chirped, sending a splash in his direction. never mind the fact that she had clearly been taken by surprise. for a moment she even laughed. “i take it back, we’re mortal enemies, now.”
once her heartrate had managed to slow, once the laughter died off, she removed her hands from him. instead, they moved at her sides, keeping her afloat. “you’re wrong about me.” the words hung in the air as she looked back at him, blinking some droplets from her lashes. “but it’s less scary to say fuck all of them than it is to risk it.” it was an amusing thought—nate being afraid of her. of what she could do to him. one fascinating enough to draw her a few inches closer, as though she could even begin to intimate him. “do i scare you?” parker asked in a near whisper. her tone was genuinely curious, but the slightly growing curve of her lips suggested minor teasing. not because she took his position lightly, but because, well—look at them.
-
Nate flinched away from Parker’s splash, one arm going up to block most of the water as he laughed, the sound boyish, especially in comparison to his normal sour countenance. “Mortal enemies?” he echoed, eyebrows raising up on his forehead as she clutched at his shoulders, Nate’s hands hovering around her hips under the water to make sure she wouldn’t slip back under the surface, amusement clear on his face. “You really sure you want to go there right now?” he asked, tipping his head down slightly to murmur the words to her, peering at her from under his eyelashes as he smirked.
The expression only lasted a moment, Nate’s seriousness returning as Parker pulled away, keeping herself upright in the water without his support. Did she scare him? Perhaps she didn’t mean it seriously, but Nate considered, trying to gauge, trying to figure out what the answer to that question was. Genuinely, even if it wasn’t how he was going to answer her. In a lot of ways, she did. “No. I don’t think scare is the right word,” he said after a few moments of silence, shrugging up his shoulders. “Besides,” he added after a beat, quirking up one side of his smile. “I think we both know who has the advantage right now,” he pointed out, anything to keep this conversation from returning to being serious, take his turn to splash Parker with some water as he let himself float a safe distance away from her.
With a cushion hugged to her chest, Rhia outstretched across the couch where Nate kissed her. If she focused, she could still feel the tingle of his lips pressed into hers. Her tongue blazed where he ran along, and the rest of her body was already consumed by the flames of where he held her. Her finger brushed down her lips, and Rhia held her breath as if to pretend Nate had never left and that she didn’t push him away. God, she hated herself for pushing him away, though she was uncertain she would’ve felt better embracing their closeness.
Yet, in those few moments that they had embraced it, (which admittedly continued for far longer than Rhia intended,) she felt invigorated. She took a deep, wavering breath, her nerves still on end from the sense of doom she had knowing their kiss -and his fingers- would be stained in the forefront of her mind. Rhia squirmed, whining and pouting from the lingering desire she felt for Nate. She pulsated the more she let her mind reminisce his curled fingers, though she had no motivation to dig herself out of the rabbit hole she’d rapidly fallen through. It wasn’t like Rhia to feel so desperate for someone else’s touch, she couldn’t allow someone that power over her. She would be stuck on the losing side regardless of what she chose to do.
Upon that realization, Rhia whimpered and buried her chin in the pillow. Regardless of what she chose to do, she had already lost. Maybe it wasn’t new information, but there was…. something disarming about Nate. She’d enter his presence and suddenly be a fumbling, insecure mess. Still, most of her summer was spent burying memories of him with different substances. Rhia put forth her best effort to detox herself of Nate, but tonight had proven his name was still imprinted on her skin, threaded so tightly she had no choice but to pass over control to him.
And maybe that was okay. Rhia knew the stipulations that went into welcoming Nate back into her life. She knew she loved him in a way that was unfamiliar to her, and she knew how fragile she was around him. Sometimes, her chest felt so tight with that same encompassing, crippling feeling of love that she almost resented Nate for it. She needed objects of affection, people to admire and daydream about to gather any sort of hope for this world, and most times she simply pretended that was all he was to her… A fascination, a distraction. So why did she feel such strange relief when she’d convinced him to stay even after he stormed off? Why did she allow him to get so close before finally saying something?
Her phone buzzed and Rhia scrambled for it, immediately tapping the notification banner in hopes it was Nate. Her read receipts had long since been disabled so as to prevent any conflicts with those passing through her life. The frame of his hand wrapped around his shaft froze her, though the playback button blocked most of the details. While she was busy debating whether to entertain the video or not, Nate’s typing bubble disappeared as he sent a second text. Her chest fluttered, the small confirmation doing little to ease the temptation building. His message didn’t read as anger or even annoyance, and Rhia struggled to place the point he was trying to prove to her. What did he expect to gain from this? She played the video with a quick tap, as if she could deny the intentional decision to watch it. Rhia gasped and her mouth fell agape as she recognized his scarred knuckles, her eyes widening as if to memorize every detail of Nate stroking himself because of her.
Despite this not seeming out of the bounds of Nate’s character, Rhia was filled with shock. She couldn’t decide what surprised her most; maybe it was the fact he couldn’t have made it back home in the time he’d left her alone or maybe it was the sheer size of it. She hadn’t anticipated her enjoyment with his video or the fact that’s where he’d disappeared to. She played the video again, letting out a soft moan as her knees pressed firmly together. The sight of his chest sent her mind reeling, much too aware that only minutes prior she’d be running her hand along his collarbones. Rhia played the video again, this time lifting the bottom of her phone to her ear to capture the sounds of his strokes. She shuddered as he grunted, humming a low tune as her head fell back on the couch. Fuck, she was in trouble.
With a lingering moment of hesitation, Rhia saved the video to her gallery and typed out a short response for him.
come find me after?
Nate’s eyes flickered shut after he hit send, his hand pumping against his shaft for a few moments as he came down from the climax, doing his best to put everything that had happened out of his mind. He didn’t know what it was about Rhia that was always able to get under his skin, that drove him to the urge for connection in the way that most people never would manage to do. What it was about her that made him feel like she could understand, other than the underlying similarities they had. With a low sigh, Nate shook his head, eyes opening up as he released himself from his hand, moving closer to the sink so he could wash his hands, erase the proof of what had happened. What had happened in here, yes, but also what had happened out there on the couch. He knew if the scent of Rhia lingered on his hands any longer it wouldn’t take long for him to get worked up again, and ultimately, he couldn’t. He couldn’t.
Buttoning his jeans back around his hips, he brushed his hand over the front of the denim, a grimace over-coming his face when he realized they were damp, not that there was anything he could do about it now. And something about it, something about the clear sign of his being Rhia’s was even more of a turn on, Nate wanting to go back out there and mark her equally as his, certainly wishing he had done so before she had put a stop to things. As he swallowed, tendons in his neck obviously tight, he pulled his phone back out, glancing at it and seeing the message from Rhia. He frowned as he read it, unsure of what that response was supposed to mean, though he certainly supposed it could’ve been a lot worse. It also could’ve been a lot more positive. But he responded anyway, typing with one hand as he went to exit the bathroom.
omw if you’re not coming to find me ig
His eyes were on his phone as he walked out of the room, not caring to see who was waiting, what their expressions were like considering he had shoved past more than a few people to get in there, nor caring if they had put together what he was doing. As he walked away from the bathroom, his eyes went up, trying to act casual as he glanced around the party, though he took in nothing as he almost immediately looked back at the couch, eyes meeting with Rhia’s from across the room, over the heads of the other people there, a small smirk playing on his lips as they made eye contact.
“Nooo, I already booked it so you don’t actually have a choice.” To no surprise the plans of what they were going to do had been left to Bria, which really meant Bria figuring out what she thought Nate needed but wouldn’t do without her dragging him to do it. Today, that meant a spa day. She had him on speaker as she waited for him to get to her room, figuring it’d be better to break the news of the mud bath and massage that awaited him not face to face but once he was already almost there. “And it wasn’t cheap, so even if you hate it you have to pretend to like it for me.” The words came out with the perfect combination of demand and pleading, “How much longer till you’re here? I need to get dressed.”
-
“You shouldn’t have spent money in the first place,” Nate grumbled into the phone, determined to be pouting about whatever it was that Bria was dragging him along to, without even having heard any of the details. “Jesus, Bria, you’re not even dressed? Why am I already on my way then? Is this going to be one of those girl things where I’m going to have to sit around for an hour while you get ready?” he asked, the hint of distaste audible in his voice even over the phone as his upper lip curled upwards. He was of half a mind to turn around, pausing for a moment and scuffing his foot on the ground, debating telling her to just come get him when she was ready. But it was Bria, who he had always had a soft spot for, if mostly brought on by her obvious soft spot for him. “Like, five minutes,” he muttered as he fell back into step, though slower this time, her response still having the potential for him to say fuck it.
sad (natey) boi hours | nathaniel eli shaw : march 23rd, 2001
steal my sunshine | portugal the man : i was lying in the grass on sunday morning of last week, indulging in my self-defeat. my mind was tugged, all laced and bugged, all twisted wrong and beat a comfortable three-feet-deep.
minimum wage | blondes : i don't know if i wanna go home today, am i winning if i’m still living on minimum wage? boys are drinking underage, i was told that we'd all stay the same old house, the same old place.
oh yeah, you gonna cry? | lovejoy : you got the same eyes as your father and you carry the same kind of temper too, and then she told me that she fucking hates you. now, now, you need to calm down, what good's this energy when you devote it to me? why not be a little more friendly?
fleabag | yungblud : cause i'm just a fleabag, nobody loves me, send me to rehab, somebody touch me. im not your monkey, i'm not your puppy, i'm just a fleabag.
paranoid | palaye royale : for a while was in denial, my mother’s least favourite child. all these fucking voices in my head tell me i’m not good enough for them, they just leave me paranoid. all these fucking voices in my head got me feeling insеcure again.
corpus christi | kevin abstract : see when I think about me, i barely think about me. i think about the people that surround me, and how i let 'em down. i'm doin' that right now by even fucking talking bout this.
go wrong | hauskey : i get suspicious if i get my wishes, if i’m doing great, then something must be wrong. i know it isn't healthy and it doesn't help me but i sit and wait for something to go wrong.
all i want | the offspring : how many times is it gonna take til someone around you hears what you say? you've tried being cool, you've played by their rules, now it's their turn to try. so back off your rules, back off your jive cause i’m sick of not living to stay alive. leave me alone, not asking a lot, just don't wanna to be controlled.
seven nation army | the white stripes : the message coming from my eyes says, "leave it alone,” don't wanna hear about it. every single one's got a story to tell, everyone knows about it from the queen of england to the hounds of hell and if i catch it coming back my way i’m gonna serve it to you.
in the end | linkin park : i kept everything inside and even though I tried it all fell apart. what it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard, i tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter.
enough | hippie sabotage : i got an appetite for destruction, i’m on a warbed that I'm gardening. bitch you can see me from a fucking mile away i ain't scared you can all come on in. all this trouble shit ain't new to me.
pumped up kicks | foster the people : daddy works a long day, he be coming home late, and he's coming home late and he's bringing me a surprise cause dinner's in the kitchen and it's packed in ice.
rage | dirty heads feat. travis barker and aimee interrupter : while beer bottles busting in, rushing to find the door feel solid on the outside but you're boiling at your core. greater suffering becomes such things as joy, and happiness is fleeting when you're bleeding on the floor. i take a beating smile with the greeting, life is a meaning or quite misleading pipe when I'm dreaming.
misery business | machine gun kelly & travis barker : second chances, they don't ever matter, people never change, once a whore you're nothing more. i’m sorry, that'll never change and about forgiveness, that we're supposed to have exchanged...i'm sorry homie, but I passed it up, now look this way.
boy | maisie peters : you claim your dreams are always lucid but you're just high and can't tell the difference. she tries to get closer, so you go and ghost her like it's perpetual Halloween. you're obsessed with your father, red flag and a half, yeah, babe, we could unpack it for weeks.
fuck you, goodbye | the kid laroi : it's the last time i let you hurt me. fuck you, goodbye, i did not deserve it, none of this bullshit was ever really worth it. you blame me like I know I ain't perfect. i tried with you, and i lied for you.
therapy | mac miller : how many times you 'bout to let them opportunities pass you by? i used to be a pretty passive guy, since before i was a goddamn mastermind in that castle of mine, i came up in half the time as these lame fucks. you can't rush that greatness, that mansion where my maid lives.
i think i’m okay | machine gun kelly, yungblud, travis barker : i guess it's just my life and i can take it if i wanna but i cannot hide in hills of California because these hills have eyes, and i got paranoia. i hurt myself sometimes, is that too scary for you? watch me, take a good thing and fuck it all up in one night. catch me, i'm the one on the run away from the headlights.
going through changes | eminem : i lock myself in the bedroom, bathroom, napping at noon. yeah, dad's in a bad mood, he's always snapping at you. marshall, what happened at you? can't stop with these pills and you've fallen off with your skills and your own fans are laughing at you. it become a problem you're too pussy to tackle, get up. be a man, stand, a real man woulda had this shit handled.
numb little bug | em beihold : do you ever get a little bit tired of life, like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die? like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive? like your body's in the room but you're not really there? like you have empathy inside but you don't really care? like you're fresh outta love but it's been in the air? am i past repair?
wake me up when september ends | green day : here comes the rain again falling from the stars, drenched in my pain again. becoming who we are as my memory rests but never forgets what i lost. wake me up when september ends.
pretty toxic revolver | machine gun kelly : i feel his pain because it probably won't be until the day i die that they love us, but trust, every nomination i don't get, every list that i ain't on is a reminder of why i wrote songs in the first place - as a way to escape where I came from.
she heard him out with minimal reaction, only the crease between her eyes persisting throughout her silence. at his last claim, however, parker leaned back and once again looked away. a hand positioned itself behind her to prop her up while the other went to momentarily rub her face. it then moved through her hair, pulling it from her face in a show of minor frustration. she sighed, taking some silent seconds to consider what he’d said before forming a response. “that’s bullshit,” she ultimately muttered, head beginning to shake. how eloquent. “i’m sorry, nate, but that’s bullshit.” her voice rose some, looking back at him. she thought about how disgruntled he’d seemed at seeing her again after so long. how resentful. “if it’s just the way things are, if it’s not me, why couldn’t we have at least tried? if it’s so impossible, why are your hands on my thighs?”
god, this was humiliating. she hated that a part of her needed more than what she’d gotten from him. she loathed not appearing self-sufficient. “um, you know what? it’s—it’s fine,” she insisted, the emotion that’d briefly fueled her words once again gone as she leaned forward. god forbid he think she was still hung up on everything that’d happened, further into the past and more recently. (too late.) “i… appreciate some sort of answer, after everything. i just, uh, don’t want things to be bad between us now.” that was the thing about parker’s relationships—she held onto love so much easier than she held onto a grudge. she still loved every person she’d ever hated. it was helpless. this was just how it was. “does that sound okay?” despite an eagerness for more answers, more information, filling her eyes, she remained otherwise composed.
-
“How the fuck is that bullshit?” Nate said, his voice a rough snap in retort to her, raising in parallel with Parker’s. He knew she didn’t get it, he knew she wouldn’t be able to understand, and yet somehow that confirmation hurt him all over again, the reminder of what it felt like when he realized the truth. “We did try, Parker. And I still got fucked over by being part of…that world. Your world,” he said, a sneer coming over his face for the briefest of seconds before he controlled his expression again. “People like you, like your family…they’ll always fuck over people like me and my family. Always.” He stopped speaking, his last word ending abruptly as his eyes shifted down to look at his hands on her thighs as she called out. He couldn’t bring himself to lift them up now that she had pointed it out, his eyes darting up towards hers, a hint of hurt in them, before he yanked himself back from her completely, pulling himself away from the wall of the pool.
“Things aren’t bad between us,” Nate said with a shrug, lifting his hand to rub at the back of his neck, this conversation immensely more awkward now that there was distance between them, unable to distract himself with the feeling of her skin underneath his hands, knowing he could distract her away from the convo with one move. “But yeah. That sounds okay, P,” he said, his words exhausted, even his posture slumping. He let out an exhale, his lips parting with the audible sigh, before he move in closer to Parker. “And my hands were on your thighs…” Nate paused, sliding his hands back up her legs again, eyes settling on hers. “So I got the chance to do this,” he added after a beat, the words barely out before his hands had moved to grasp her hips, yanking her to his bare torso and pulling her into the water with him, for a moment feeling like the far more light-hearted teenager who had dated Parker in the first place, and looking all too pleased with himself as she resurfaced.
“Let them have a problem, Nate,” He started, hand on his arm considering the last thing Bowie needed in that moment was to tip toe to get a hand on his shoulder. “You not suppose to keep in inside, right? If you do, it’ll eat you alive. We’re all here to unwind, let it all out. Do you have any idea how people I’ve seen screamin’ at the world on the beach and then finding peace? Have at it, fellas. What seems to be the problem?”
The cigar he had managed to get his hands on, a more regal replacement of his usual cigarette, was disposed of right in the drink between them. The umbrella was still floating around merrily with how new it was, but now, sunk under the splash of the tobacco.
They perhaps weren’t the best influences on each other, too similar to truly provide a rational second opinion, which was certainly not a good thing. Nate didn’t bother shaking off Bowie’s hand, knowing that the male would step up and not allow these pricks to get away with walking all over them. “Funnily enough, you know what my favorite method of unwinding is, old mates?” Nate said as he looked between the two males standing in front of them, rolling up his sleeves, the move casual and practiced as if he had done it a thousand times. In all honesty, he probably had. “Well. Second favorite, maybe,” he corrected with a wry grin.
He had barely gotten the words out before Bowie dropped his cigar into the drink, the moment freezing for a moment as they all watched the umbrella sink before one of the males swung at Bowie, Nate pushing him to the side to make sure his own fist crashed into the guys jaw. Fighting was his second favorite method of unwinding, if it wasn’t already clear enough, and from the very instant of his hand crashing into the other man’s face, a slightly crazed grin spread across his face.
“You can afford another drink,” he said as he stepped closer to the male, following through on his punch by hovering over him. “Surely you don’t still want to make this an actual problem? Cause I don’t mind, mate.”
Rhia let her head fall back, air sucked between her teeth as Nate’s hands traveled further up her body. She was almost certain he was exposing her hips to the rest of the party, though she couldn’t bring herself to mind it when her hand clutched at his chest, entangling the fabric of his shirt to reveal most of his torso. “Are you saying you wouldn’t take it off for me?” Rhia coaxed in a sultry tone. It was a joke, even as her fingers fumbled with the zipper on the side of her skirt, taunting Nate as if it was simple enough for him to reach out and undo it. She hadn’t expected his response to come so easily. His simple words - he meant it - stirred disquiet in her, and for a moment, she wished she could too.
Nate’s lips brushed hers and perhaps she should have stopped him, still uncertain she could be good to him. Instead, her eyes fluttered closed as he kissed her. Rhia parted her lips, leaning into his rough kiss, welcoming his tongue as it ran across her lip. She whimpered as his tongue entered her mouth, thought the flat of her tongue swiped against his. Her hand rested on his cheek as she stole his tongue, sucking hungrily until he pulled away, her teeth gently biting down to scrape against his tongue. Rhia’s lips chased after Nate’s until she realized he’d broke off the kiss, much too sudden for her taste. She felt his forehead against hers, and she could feel his breath puff on her lips. His fingers quickened, lengthening their strokes and driving Rhia to the brink. “Fuck,” she begged, her hips arching into his hand. She whined while his fingers slid in and out, her lips still grazed the crook of his neck, hesitant to give in to the urge to mark him.
She cringed away from his searching eyes, unable to provide him any answers besides that she simply couldn’t follow through. His reprimand brought a new wave of heat to Rhia’s face, and her hands darted up to cover her eyes, Rhia’s head shaking back and forth. “I know,” she lamented in a quiet voice. She couldn’t shake their kiss away though, or the fact she’d literally allowed him to stick his fingers in her after they were just arguing. She brought her hands down, concern written all over her face. She blinked slowly, stunned as Nate brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked on them. Suddenly, Rhia’s entire mouth felt dry and she found herself licking her lips. It tempted her to reach out and mimic the motion for herself, taking Nate into her mouth and showing him how she’d take care of him if she would just let herself. He brought his other hand to her hip, and before she knew it, Rhia was being tossed across the couch. She landed with a small oof, scrambling to sit up and adjust her clothing as Nate rushed off. “Nate-” Rhia called, before he stormed out of ear shot.
Rhia watched his head travel through the crowd until she couldn’t pick him out anymore, and she collapsed back on the couch, clutching her knees to her chest. She couldn’t blame him for being frustrated; it wasn’t fair of Rhia to push the boundaries she had set for them. She knew it was misleading, she knew it’d eventually hurt him, going back and forth like this… And yet, once it had started there was little she could do to resist the draw she had for Nate, the attraction she’d always carried for him. His word choice indicated a plan to return, but was that simply Rhia reading too much into it? Would it be better to make herself scarce, go find someone else to spend the night with? Maybe it would’ve been better to disappear from the party altogether. Rhia sighed, chewing on her lip as she contemplated how to make up for her slip-up. She grabbed her phone, hovering over Nate’s contact information in her phone. Eventually, she worked her way up to sending him a text:
where’d you go🥺
All Nate was thinking about was the sight of Rhia straddling him, the sound of her begging and the feeling of her grinding into his hand as he had slid his fingers inside of her. It was the feeling of her tongue against his, the sound of her breaths in reaction to him, the taste of her on his fingers - Nate let out another groan as he thought about that, thinking how much better the taste would be if she had let him bury his face between her legs instead of just the tease of cleaning her fluids off of himself, his hand speeding up as he stroked himself more firmly.
It was no secret that Rhia was hot, and it’s not like this was even the first time Nate was thinking about her while jerking off, but he had certainly never had such detailed material. He was more than willing to go back there and finish what they started, but he knew Rhia wasn’t, and ultimately, he was never really one to pursue. Besides, she had already rejected him twice, which was two more chances than he extended to most girls, preferring to go for the girls who chased him, who made it clear they wanted him than putting in the effort to go for anyone else. It’s not like he was lacking for girls who were willing to do the work. But Rhia had never been one of them. He knew Rhia was into him - or at least, he was fairly confident in saying that. Or used to be.
She had weaseled her way in last year despite Nate not reciprocating the desire for friendship, but she never crossed those unspoken boundaries, not until tonight. It was safe to say that now? Now he was thoroughly confused. And frustrated, beyond just the sexual frustration that had driven him to trying to get himself off in the bathroom of a party. When he felt his phone buzz, Nate fumbled for it, for a moment hoping it was some type of booty call, if only so he could fuck someone, even if he would be thinking of someone else the entire time. Seeing Rhia’s name on the screen only deepened his confusion, Nate pausing for a moment before opening it, reading the words with the slightest hint of disbelief.
Without taking a minute to think about it, a combination of the alcohol and the weed and Rhia going to his head, Nate slid his camera open. He was no stranger to sexting, angling the camera to frame his hand roughly stroking his cock, figuring if she was really going to ask what he was doing after all that, surely she wanted to know the truth. He flipped the camera to catch his clenched jaw, the tense muscles of his neck as he finished with a groan, stopping the video simultaneously. He sent the video to Rhia without thinking about it, watching as the message changed to say delivered before typing out another sentence with his free hand.
who: @hardlygclden
when: one of the first few nights of spring break
where: poolside bar
It wasn’t unusual for Nate to get into squabbles, even with people who he considered friends. Or at least, as close to friends as Nate ever had. That was exactly what had started to occur with Bowie, the two boys getting a little too rowdy (probably brought on by the alcohol, if they were to be honest), a couple shoves back and forth, and they quickly ended up pissing off a few of the other patrons of the bar. Which of course, reminded Nate and Bowie that they were on the same side. And now, they were fighting the other men together. Nate should’ve realized that all of the people who frequented the type of hotel picked out by Luxor would be rich douchebags, and god, were these guys infuriating, and Nate was not afraid to get in their faces.
“Do you guys have a fucking problem?” Nate asked, leaning down at one of the men who had decided to challenge he and Bowie.
