its me ya boi

what do you keep in natures pocket ??

[movie-gifs]

You look pretty terrifying in that get up. What happened to the pretty little girl dresses? I outgrew them.

Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss Everdeen – THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE (2013)

[emily-axford]

rebecca welton + tea

[holdyourcolour]

We literally can’t get ads like this anywhere else

[directyourfate]

these tweets are holding hands

[1percentcharge]

blood is so cool

[1percentcharge]

its like a magic liquid that keeps you alive. AND its bold red like the most cuntservy color possible and a little blood on the outside of your body and everyone’s attention is on you. It commands the room. AND it tastes good

[1percentcharge]

this is a normal take ! 👍

[fubblers]

I think we as a website are sleeping on the potential of Microsoft teams default memes

[horrorofthebeast]

[evilbeast-moved]

i got an insulated metal water bottle recently after using plastic ones for years and oh my god ice water is so addictive. this shit SLAPS i get so excited to drink water thats crazy

[beeelderly]

[tartrazeen]

[liefst]

i will admit i have looked upon men with a lustful gaze in my time

[batteredhilt]

[modern-alebrije]

[weaver-z]

I’ve decided that all bats fall somewhere on this horrid little graph I’ve devised. Here are some prime examples of the various Creature Varieties found in nature.

[ownedbythevoid]

Hi OP no notes I just wanted to add some more guys because I have disorders

[weaver-z]

You’re so correct about all of these and it is our human right to be incredibly disordered about bats online. Thank you. Let’s go take ibuprofen together.

[realhousewivesofmoscow11111111]

[never-obsolete]

[playwrongs]

Wait do you all know about Atlanta Nights

[playwrongs]

In the early 2000s, a “publishing house” called PublishAmerica made nasty public statements about sci-fi and fantasy authors on a blog it ran called AuthorsMarket. This was a bad idea for several reasons—the obvious ones having to do with things like professionalism and the reputation of the company. But it was an especially bad idea because it implicitly contrasted genre fiction with the high-quality work PublishAmerica claimed to produce. The problem? PublishAmerica was in fact a vanity press—a disreputable company that makes money not by selling books, but by charging authors to have their books printed in an “official” way. Since authors are the main source of revenue for vanity presses, they’ll print any old garbage so long as the author pays for it. But PublishAmerica vehemently claimed to be a “traditional” publisher of quality books.

This gave a bunch of sci-fi and fantasy writers a wicked idea. Under the direction of James D. McDonald, a fantasy author known for his campaigns to educate other authors about scams, this group collaborated to create the worst possible novel. They called it Atlanta Nights. It contains, among other flaws, egregious grammar and spelling mistakes, characters that abruptly change gender without explanation, two chapters that are completely identical, two different chapters that were written from the same outline, and a huge list of characters whose initials, if properly arranged, spell out “PublishAmerica is a vanity press.”

They then submitted this monstrosity to PublishAmerica.

Of course, PublishAmerica accepted the manuscript—as only a vanity press would—and after they did so, the hoax was revealed. And of course, PublishAmerica then quickly said “wait, no, we reject this actually!”, but it was too late for that.

The resulting book is—to me, as a writer—one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. The authors involved in its creation made it spectacularly bad. The literary pratfalls on display make me giggle nonstop. It’s a masterpiece.

If this is something that you might find amusing, the complete text of Atlanta Nights may be found here. I can’t say you’ll get anything out of it, but if you enjoy when writers make a mockery of their own craft (which I do!) you’ll love it.

[lamignonette]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[chunkecheeks]