Byler + Stranger Things Reactions from a 26-year-old queer person who went through TJLC/Johnlock and the queer heartbreak of the final series of BBC Sherlock
Watched the latest episodes tonight and had to share what’s on my mind with all of the Bylers. I see y’all and your queerness and I just wanted to share my take as someone who went through something that I feel like was so similar.
When I was in high school, fandom and specifically queer fandom became my refuge as someone who had 0 in-person lgbtq+ community in an incredibly conservative and religious state. I yearned incredibly deeply for queer rep, before I even realized what it meant to me. I found out I was queer through Johnlock, in fact. I was really compelled by the theories and community that had formed on tumblr around Johnlock and TJLC.
And when the final episode came out, and it was so completely not what I had or so many in the community had expected, I was sooooo traumatized. I remember the final episode leaked and I literally thought it was fake. It was to that level. And like it felt like my queerness had been denied. It felt personal. And it took a lot of time, but I came to a few realizations. First, I realized that we were all so much more clever than Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss ever were. The theories TJLC had were so intricate and honestly beautiful, but they tied together things and plot points and props and parts of the set design that the show runners absolutely never intended to link. And I had to realize that it not being canon did not take away from the power of queer people coming together to envision and imagine. I realized we saw queerness so deeply and more intimately than they ever would. Which is wild in some ways because Mark is gay, but honestly, the fact that he let the queerbaiting happen and the villain queer coding just shows how little he cares about the community and I stand on that. The power was with the fandom and queer community is never a waste.
But going forward I had to be very honest with myself and come to a different understanding with myself on how I would interact with media, queer media, and how I would let that impact my relationship with my own queerness. First, I put distance between myself and shows/showrunners who I could not trust. If something is not explicitly canon, for example, I now acknowledge that at the very beginning as a reality of living in a time where homophobia is still rampant. And so, I put my energy elsewhere. If the ship is not canon, I live in fanon, and enjoy the beauty of queer people coming together to imagine through fic, art, writing, etc.
And OF COURSE I want to see the rep. We need SO much more of it, canon, confirmed, well written, not subtle. But that’s why I also work to seek out shows where that is the case. Like right now, Heated Rivalry for example has healed something in me with how popular it’s been and how blatantly queer it is. It’s also one reason why I do really love Robin and Vickie. I’m so happy seeing two lesbians in a show as big as Stranger Things. And it would have been amazing to have another couple, especially a couple with such major characters. But I’ll be honest, I also cried a bit at Will’s coming out scene. The topic of queer self acceptance is something that is very powerful to me, to also see on a stage like that. If we didn’t have Vickie and Robin as a couple in the show I’d probably agree it feels hollow, but having both angles of navigating queer relationships and one’s relationship to oneself I really enjoyed.
And I think the act of working to navigate and balance being excited to see some rep and wanting more is just something we will always be navigating, as we continue to rightfully yearn and imagine a time where our love is normalized. Where our relationships are not confined, not scrutinized, not demonized.
It’s not easy being queer in 2025. The rise of purity culture, the blatant white supremacy, the conservative and right wing movements in so many areas of the world, the environment is not friendly and it’s not easy. So overall I just want to send love to everyone queer tonight. Y’all are important and if you need anyone to process these episodes my DMs are open. ❤️
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