Laugh like there's no tomorrow. @nbditsjustlindsay - Tumblr Blog

I was a professional juggler for like five years and all of my friends politely pretend it never happened.

Sometimes I will be holding three or more similarly sized objects and they will all shoot me the kind of warning glances typically reserved for cats who are about to swipe a fresh and crispy fish stick from a small child’s hand.

c3rvida3

I gaze wistfully at a basket of apples and they all think, “Don’t you FUCKING dare,” so hard that I take psychic damage.

nomiqbomi

rad

guerrillatech

theshockinglyeloquentdog

no that picture implies they’d actually think about it

knifepdf

if you get a computer virus just download another one and they’ll kill eachother or maybe they’ll kiss or something

teaboot

*screen goes black* the girls want privacy

ferricadooza

if you're wearing a bra while quarantined................. why

theweirdwideweb

The people protesting to open businesses up don’t want to go back to work, they want *you* to go back to work so they can go to a movie or a restaurant.

theweirdwideweb

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

I'm a vampire but some vampires don't suck blood. Some of us suck toes

peppylilspitfuck

I’m sure there’s an article on wikifeet about this, but I’m too scared to check.

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

“wikifeet”

whitepeopletwitter

unclefather

woman in the grocery store: i’m so sick of this! i don’t know why i stay with you! your dick is little and you don’t pay bills!

man: my dick is little? what about my brother? you would know!

me pretending to look at green beans:

rightyd-deactivated20221226

that is one didly darn fricking heck of a big yikes

unclefather

don’t ever say these words again

lianedegrenade

dogs are like i will lay down and huff sadly while staring balefully at you until you feel guilty and give me food. cats are like hey mom oh nice cereal don’t mind if i do! with their little criminal faces already in your fucking bowl

mazzystargrrl

bitches be like *recomsume media from childhood to cope*

dying-suffering-french-stalkers

homo-sex-shoe-whale

Fun fact: Samoyeds were bred largely as sled dogs, but they were also used as warming dogs, meaning they would lay on their owners to keep them warm in harsh cold climates.

This means that if you hug a Samoyed, they are likely to just sit there and accept the snuggles.

herloveisneverwrong

No, but you don’t understand how much they love cuddles.

I fostered a Samoyed. She would BREAK OUT OF HER KENNEL just to lay on me. Every. Single. Night. I couldn’t escape the love cloud. Every time I would lie in my bed, BOOM. Love cloud! Here for cuddles! We had to REINFORCE her kennel just so that she wouldn’t break out. See, this warming dog was trying to cuddle with me in 90+ F (32+ C) degree weather. It was inescapable.

Summary: A cloud tried to suffocate me in nearly 100-degree (38) weather because it was in her nature.