Nemisis @ncmisis-blog - Tumblr Blog

i wish i could be brave like brave from disneys brave but instead i am coward from real life

im rattatooie from the kitchen

i really enjoyed my warm ups this week, which were a series of my favorite grantaires (because i was musical theater nerd in high school)

femcassidy

tom holland is not a little boy.... hes a full grown adult man who is considerably older than most of his overbearing fandom and is, also, MAKING BANK

femcassidy

i PROMISE you tom holland will be fine and sony didnt rip him from the arms of a weeping rdj... can you imagine being like 24 years old and having a bunch of 13 year olds on the internet decide youre also 13 because youre like 5’5’’

dweebofthepnw

He will be fine but I’m 21 and he’s 23 which means all these little girls can suck it he’s my boyfriend and we will do just fine with his checks :)

thefeistiestworm

starfleetacademy

Desire paths are just the best human invention because cities will spend millions on sidewalks and yet. Our little foraging brains will think ‘too far cut thru grass for food’ and others will be like ‘other human have good idea. I follow’ until there’s a beaten path when there’s perfectly acceptable sidewalks to either side

starfleetacademy

For example

solitairians

these are called “olifantenpaadjes” in dutch (little elephant paths) (remember this for later it’s important) and there’s a whole facebook page dedicated to it, where people can send in pictures of these “elephant paths” all across the country and they get rated with stars.

apparently, a city renovated its park, and ended up putting a tree branch over a beloved path:

of course, this meant the path had become unusable, which is an utter tragedy, so an anonymous citizen did the rational thing and got up in the middle of the night, went to the park, and cut the branch in half using a chainsaw.

so like.. this citizen should probably get arrested for destruction of public property right??? nah. the city just thought it was funny and even made a joke about it when the renovated park got-re opened. the only thing to come out of it was this photo, posted by a local news site:

and that’s the story of how dutch people really, really, really love their little elephant paths.

grlband-deactivated20150426

a 30 y/o drunk man came up to me in a nightclub the other night and said “the economy might be shit but at least we have niall horan”

cleopat-ra-blog

i’m having trouble believing this

grlband-deactivated20150426

i live in ireland the only thing irish men love more than themselves is niall horan

badwebbarchive

#there’s an irisn pub near my old vocal studio and they have a framed picture of niall on the wall #not even signed or anything #just in the middle of the wall

devotionsofmaryoliver

temptrsent-deactivated20161019

“before he’s ready for it”

dankmemeuniversity

thebootydiaries

Dearest annoyinglymymusic,

I write to you on this hot summer’s eve with amazing news. I want you to know that ever since you left a comment on my shitpost, my life has changed. I was brought to tears upon reading your eluquent words, the part about “terrorist scum” truly was beautiful. After reading that, I immediately called ISIS and decided to stop being a terrorist. I told them about your comment and they all stopped too. ISIS was defeated because of you. You. You literally stopped terrorism. I cancelled my job at ISIS (I was a receptionist) and decided to take up sewing. I have a wife and two kids now.

Thank you for changing my life,

Thebootydiaries

amerlcanapparel-deactivated2020

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

straighthater

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

timelordpillbug

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

hikingnerd

When Russia sends you nudes

miss-jaxon-flaxon-waxon

#what the fuck happened here

her-eyes-dared-me-with-danger

This is my favorite post in all of tumblr

kyloschuyler

reminder that this post is now illegal in Russia

overdhoes

ahahahha

nostalgic-shamefest

My God I almost choked laughing

hungwy

on tumblr everything is worth so little. being famous on tumblr doesnt even mean you’re famous on tumblr

demonladytakkuri

Half the time a scandal with one of the “popular” tumblr bros who have like 5.5M followers comes out literally no one has heard of them

april

im very glad that women

flowerinaflame

emil

this is an argument i can not win

mimikyukyu

I had a dream that the new Meme was ultralight camping elitism and all you do is post pictures of bare-minimum camping setups and talk about how cool you are for being able to survive in that

mimikyukyu

I just remembered this and I want to share it with all my new followers

heather-heather-heather-someone

Valjean: On this page I write my last confession *chucks 1,400-paged novel at Cosette*

batcii-archive-deactivated20210

how did jk manage to write ootp and not come to the conclusion that the only career w any true meaning for harry james potter was as a goddamn professor at hogwarts like how do u write the da scenes and say “nah he’d want to be a wizard cop”

hugisak

#just let him dress in warm sweaters and have tea with neville in the staff room and help first years #harry james potter as hogwarts longest serving defense against the dark arts teacher fucking fight me (@batcii)

tattooedsiren

#but it would be so perfect??? #bc it would help normalize his life so much #like there would just be this generation of kids who are like #‘ugh who cares that he killed the dark lord he gAVE US HOMEWORK OVER BREAK’ #like the beginning of every year there would be the new first years who would freak out a little #but then it would calm down #and most of the students would literally forget #until like clockwork the fifth years would have their history of magic class on the second war #and they’d all show up to DADA looking a little awestruck and everyone would be extra quiet #and harry would give this kind of annoyed sigh—except it’s fake bc he TOTALLY knew this was coming #bc binns is a bro and he totally gives him a heads up every year #and harry wouldn’t have any lesson plans for the day and instead he would just sit at the front of the room and answer everyone’s questions #but otherwise everyone would just be like ‘professor potter!! i can’t get my patronus to work! help me!’ #and like they’d go home at the end of the year or for break and their parents—who ARE still starstruck by harry james potter #would pester their kids with questions#and the kids would just be like ‘merlin i don’t know?? potter’s such a huge dork you should hear him talk about proper wand movements’ #but they would all love him #and he would feel safe and normal and utterly accepted #AND I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE (via @cinematicnomad)

saywhatjessie

Not to mention it would be an ultimate Fuck You to Voldemort, who put a curse on the teaching position in the first place.

Like, Jo, I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but COME ON

timemachineyeah

I already queued this but also, you do this, but still have Ginny become a famous Quidditch player. Imagine the first time Harry gets called “Ginny’s husband” before “the boy who lived” or “the chosen one.” Imagine how fucking pleased he’d be.

Imagine the first time a student comes up to him looking starry-eyed and Harry’s thinking “Oh no” because he doesn’t want to talk about Voldemort or the war but instead this little eleven year old is like “ARE YOU REALLY MARRIED TO WEASLEY FROM THE HOLLYHEAD HARPIES???!?? WHAT’S SHE LIKE?” and he’s like “oh thank god” because he could talk about Ginny all day.