Also a corollary to this, which for me at least is very important: itâs not about âtrickingâ yourself. Itâs about keeping your bargains.
Tell yourself that you donât have to write the whole scene, you just have to write one sentence, and then see how you feel. And if, having written that one sentence, you feel that you cannot write any more... you get to stop.
Tell yourself that you donât have to empty the dishwasher, you just have to open it, and see how you feel. And if you feel that you canât do any more, donât.
Because the thing is, for me at least, a big part of executive dysfunction is the struggle to start, and once I have started, often it suddenly turns out oh, actually, I can empty the dishwasher. I can write the scene. No big deal.
But the bargain with myself to make that start only works if I know itâs not a trick. If I know that the offer to stop once Iâve done that one thing is genuine. Because I canât, fundamentally, trick myself. And the part of me that struggles with things like this is often, fundamentally, very child-like - sulky, obstinate, over-dramatic, emotional - I donât wanna, you canât make me - and it is very easy to lose its trust. And ADHD already gives me enough reasons not to trust myself without adding more.
So I donât think of it as âtrickingâ myself. I think of it as asking an open, honest question - performing a basic test - âis the problem here that I canât get started? Letâs find out, letâs just do this one thing. Come on, sweetie, just write the one sentence. How do you feel now? You want to stop? Okay, letâs get you some juice then. We can try again another time.â
