Vampyrism is exhausting. I am always tired and stuck in a fog. No donor and dependent on ambient is like eating snacks all day with no fresh produce, carbs, or protein. Thus is not a reason to be self-loathing, though. It is not a reason to complain, but a way to learn to work with the energy I do have.
How can I make my home a place of comfort and how can I make work more enjoyable? What little things can I do to keep my head up high and my stress low? How can I eat and drink to maintain enough physical and mental energy to keep up with my responsibilities and hobbies?
A journal, an outlet, and finding somewhat of a routine. Having a hobby helps me. Writing, reading, sketching, dancing when no one is looking, whatever works to help produce dopamine.
Blood, never. This always needs to be with a consenting adult.
Psi, depends. Ambient is common, but what about between two individuals? Some prefer to never feed off of an individual without consent and some will just surface feed.
Eros, never. Although I consider this a subtype of Psi, this always needs to be with a consenting adult considering it's sexual nature.
I work in customer service, so I both feed ambiently and surface. Anything deeper is consentual.
When is deeper feeding without consent okay? When it is done on an abuser or other harmful person. Feeding can also be an act of healing, such as removing tension or emotional burdens.
I've been busy in other part of the OVC so have not been so active here. For those still following and reading, I want it to be clear this page is about my journey and thoughts about vampyrism with chaos magic nuggets strewn about and not politics, but I wanted to make a clear statement:
This is an LGBTQIA+ friendly space. This is a neurodivergent friendly space. This is a BIPOC friendly space (I know people have issues with this term, but it's common, so I will use it until I find one more fitting and universal, as I am also a POC). It may not be safe for minors though, mainly due to subjects based around blood, sex, and other mature topics, but never anything explicit.
I am a nonbinary person of color, and my perspective is painted with that, so if that bothers you, I can care less. In trying times we need a safe space to learn and read and gain perspective, and I want to offer that here.
I run another page called hompunkulus which is less about the vampyric side of things and more in line with thought experiments and magic in general. A little Erisian elements for good measure.
As I mentioned at hompunkulus, my posts will be less walls of text and more smaller conceptual blurbs and art through time.
1. What do you want? Make it no more then a sentence.
2. Write it down. Again. And again.
3. As you write your desire let your emotions pour into the words. Make it as clean or messy as it Wills. Scratch with the mess or go with the flow.
4. Slowly begin to circle from the outside of the words inwards. Circle and circle until the words are voided in a black circle, focusing simply on filling in the circle, gazing in the center but aware of the boundry of the circle.
5. When the circle is filled, take a big breath, feeling the Universe breathe into you, hold for a second, and exhale the Universe into the black circle.
In folklore the vampire is considered a demon, and the Devil the father of all demons. This makes vampires of folklore Children of the Devil. Not all Vampyres consider themselves devilish nor practice any form of Satanic nor diabolocal philosophy or religion, but some of us have found power and expression through the many schools of Satan and diabolatry.
Satan is a title referring to the first angels that rebelled against Yahweh. Satans are Legion making Satan, truly, the God of Devils. LaVey calls them the Balancing Factor, which is the force of darkness itself. This darkness is home to the Vampyre. Be it a mental retreat into silence or the brisk air of a calm evening walk.
Progenerators of Demons
A popular belief is that Sammael and Lilith are the Father and Mother of demons, in particular incubi and succubi. Another famous demon is Asmodeus, who's name translates to God of Wrath (aeshma deava) in Avestian. In the Book of Tobit he is considered the enemy of Raphael and Demon of Lust, but more important to this article, he is considered a cambion - a halfbreed of human and demon.
A Vampyre.
Another religious figure modern Satanists and Vampyres look up to as a father figure is Cain, thus referring to themselves as Children of Cain. The story goes when Cain was excommunicated to the Land of Nod and given the Mark, was his turning from a Man to a Vampyre. He could not die and had to live eternally without the comforts of food nor love.
Other deities that can (loosely) be associated with Living Vampyres are Sekhmet, Hekate, and Izanami.
Pandaemoneum
Demons have always walked the Earth in one form or the other. Some as shades that haunt deep in caves, in the density of a forest, or even the haunted suburban home. They grant wishes at crossroads and possess religious devotees. They create sickness and thrive in death, they give riches and exist in the darkest depths of the human psyche.
Only until recently have demons been known to be kind. In the grimoire tradition they are summoned, bound, and threatened to manifest the desires of the conjuror and in religious belief they are to be feared, shunned, and exorcised at any given moment. There is no place for demon kind on God's Green Earth.
Today, with the popularity of alternative cultures and fringe religions, the Devil is making a comeback. Theistic Satanism is more popular then ever with schools of thought ranging from Luciferians to Demonolaters and even some dark pagans. Satan has freed themselves from their chains and is ready to party!
I grew up in a time when vampyrism was still fairly hidden. There were a few documentaries and one or two books from Real Vampyres, but the rest were about psychic self defense against vampyres or True Crime. It was a time of exploration for me, and a time the community was bustling in larger cities, Gotham Halo being the most well known. It was before Discord and before YouTube was the new cable television, where we still relied on books and questionable online resources (unfortunately, that will probably never change).
I have never had an in person community, much like a lot of those newly awakened. I had a punk rock community, I had a martial arts community, but no occult or vampyric communities save for a few discreet internet forums.
Still, it always called to me, even when I decided to free myself from the label. It was always somewhere, itching to a clawing until I finally sat with myself and explored it once again, but this time with a new world of experiences and knowledge I've collected over the decades.
Choice or Passion?
People assume these alternative communities are just choices we make and that we can change our minds and "just be normal." Anybody that has spent enough time in these communities, gone to the events, dressed the part, and consummed the media, knows it isn't simply a choice. Sure, the way we dress is a choice, but the reason we express ourselves goes much deeper.
I chose to get a mohawk, dye my hair, and listen to bands that gave everyone else a headache, but the lyrics and energy hit me on a visceral level and the emotions ran deep. As I got older it wasn't just punk rock, it was music in general. Raw music, be it fast and angry or melodic and poetic, expanded my world view.
The bands I've seen and met, locals I've jammed and partied with, and all the lovers, dancers, and fighters coming together in one space to be trully free. Free to feel. Free to express. At its core, live music is magical.
I ventured into punk rock by choice of my rough upbringing, but the way the music made me feel was pure passion. And so it is with vampyrism.
OVC, A Community Without Meat
Although online, I've found a voice and a place to express my perspectives and experiences. I've made acquaintances and deepened relationships. I owe a lot to the community that I am part of. There is trust and there is learning. This community feels like it is falling apart sometimes, Discords and old websites we all grew up on are closing their virtual doors left and right. It feels like every month an old door closes with no new ones to pick up the pieces.
So I ventured to make this blog to share insight, experience, and hopefully for others to see we are out here. Online I have a certain presence, but outside, like much of the community, you wouldn't know it by looking at us despite what the movies and books tell you. I work a normal job with normal hours and live in a normal apartment in a normal city.
Despite all the normal around me I am different. I can't talk to my coworkers or my family about this. Some of my experiences may frighten others or they may use me as a butt of a joke, neither of which I am okay with. So I choose silence. I keep this hunger, this intensity, hidden.
It eats me inside at times, but overall I accept I choose to call myself a vampyre, I choose to be part of this community, and I choose do what I can to keep it alive. I have always had a passion for this community and now I share this passion with others. I hope this finds you well and helps you spread your proverbial bat wings.
Some Places to Check Out
The Vampyre Coven is a great website with articles by a variety of old and new members of the greater Vampyre Community. I have had the pleasure of interacting with a few of them and have learned alot from reading the articles and the discussions I have had.
A Vampyre Community organization that caters to individuals traversing a spiritual vampyre journey! We are a Coven for Real Vampyres, Vampyr
Project V is another community that is a rare find and one in which I enjoy the conversations. It has educational blogs on its website and the Discord has Voice chat classes on a variety of subjects from various community members. The Discord mod team is approachable, knowledgeable, and keeps it safe for all involved with lots of areas of discussion.
Welcome to Project V's Official Website! We aim to bring the vampyre community closer together by providing access to various crafted resour
Want to read about the importance of self discovering and acceptance as a vampyre? Come check out this blog created by one of our guest writers, Akhkaru!
Vampire Pumpkins, yes, you heard me right. It is one of the many forms of vampires within vampire folklore. Before I go too far into explaining where this folklore originated, I wanted to point out how, as you study far back past the modern vampire community and into finding where vampires truly originated from and how it has leaked into vampire media and into the VC. You honestly will start going insane as the definition of vampire is not only debatably blurry in the vampyre community but is even blurry throughout history. Oddly enough, characteristics of vampires have been applied to just about anything. Now we have vampires, werewolves, witches, and the fae all tangled.
But...vampire pumpkin? This folklore-originated legend became popular out of the three counterparts, such as the vampire watermelon and vampire squash. This folklore originated as a legend risen from the Balkans in southern Europe. This folklore source comes from Tatomir P. Vukanovic. Through his interview in Serbia and Roma between 1933 and 1948, he released his study much later. Vampiric plants origins occurred among Gypsies, whobelieved only pumpkins and watermelons can be turned into vampires. This is where I believe vampire pumpkin became the much more popular counterpart. But to find where vampire pumpkins truly started as a folk legend is unknown. To my knowledge, the folklore could not have started before the 16th century, as pumpkins are native to the Americas and did not make it to Europe until the late 1600s.
The transformation: Vampire pumpkins transform if you leave them out and under a full moon and don’t harvest them within 10 days, or you keep them around past Christmas.
After the transformation was complete, it was said they had blood on them and that they could growl. Tatomir claims that they aren’t harmful but will suck your aura at night as the pumpkins wander in the night.
Magic doesn't have to be intense and ceremonial performances all the while swinging dull blades around butchering dead and foreign languages. Magic can be walking down the street and humming an Enn or kissing a pendant for good luck. Magic can be pathworking with a graphic novel or talking to the trees for a boost of healthy energy.
It doesn't have to be complicated it just has to be effective. A candle and a chant can be meditative or it can be used to seek communion with your spirit allies. Simple but effective.
Magic isn't about dreaming of casting psi balls like your favorite mutant but putting intention into your psi balls and directing them toward an objective. Magic is about results not daydreaming. It's about connecting with nature and inanimate objects to divine the future, cast spells, and befriend magical creatures.
Chaos magic is not so different then animism, but with a twist. Animism is the belief that all natural objects have spirits and consciousness. Chaos magic can adapt that idea towards the perception that all objects have spirits and consciousness. Properties that come alive to help the sorcerer with casting.
Vampyrism isn't sleeping in coffins, sparkling to attract teenage girls, or Goth hotties summoning the Brides and Bros of Dracula in abandoned castles and graveyards. Vampyrism is just a part of who you are, the hunger and the beast, the solitude of esoteric ponderings, and laughing with friends about mundane nonsense.
Vampyrism can be a philosophical and spiritual path, one taken seriously for self transformation. It can also be a mental or medical need to consume human life force, be it in liquid or energetic form.
Vampyrism is being yourself and accepting a need. Magic is being yourself and engaging with the world to cause willed effects. Live your life and test the bouancy of reality with your proverbial fangs shining in the silver streams of Selene.
This article does not condone violence. It is an exploration of feelings, thoughts, and methods found in shifting paradigms of what it means to explore instinct.
In Vampyre lingo there is something known as the "Beast." The Beast is when the Vampyre experiences hunger in a violent and bestial nature. In martial arts it is sometimes called 'bloodlust.' In traditional kung fu styles we have animal forms that help train and integrate these violent feelings, including:
Physical mimicry
Psychological mimicry
Symbolic reference for power generation and healing
According to Vampyre Tradition there is a ritual called the Hunt where the Beast can roam free. Two groups are chosen, one for Predator and one for Prey. The Predators invoke their animal nature, sometimes stripping, getting on all fours, and growling as the Prey begin to make way across a field. The Predators, after fully embracing their Beast, chase the Prey.
It most likely turns into playful wrestling and even sexual intercourse depending on the group (between consentual adults). It is a ritual of play and instinct. On a solitary level, the Hunt is much less extravagent and is as simple seeking companionship for Eros or deep feeding.
Bloodlust
On a visceral level there is no ritual that can tame the Beast. Bloodlust isn't used in the wider community for a variety of reasons. One, it can attract bad actors that use it as an excuse to hurt others, and two, it can come across that Vampyres are a violent criminal organization, which we are not. We're just people part of the fringe of society.
Bloodlust in the martial arts community denotes a love for fighting. They don't mind getting hit, bleeding, hitting, and making others bleed. They love the thrill of a good fight. Their solitary training may consist of animal mimicry both physically and psychologically. Developing 'killing intent' as they train every move to destroy an opponent.
Monstrous Soul
On a deeper level, beyond carnal instinct, there is the Monstrous Soul. It is the acceptance and integration of the Beast with the overall makeup of the individual. Someone with a Monstrous Soul is not to denote an abuser of any kind, but to give meaning and honor to the darker aspects of the psyche. The urge to rip ones flesh from bones for initiation into the current of the shapeshifter, to feed on the life force of humans to acquire lucidity into the Vampyric Condition, and to walk the path shades and devils.
Sources:
Vampyre Sanguinomicon, Father Sebastiaan
Vampires in Their Own Words, edited by Michelle Belanger
The Power of Internal Martial Arts, Bruce Frantzis
I will not discuss blood feeding because I am not sang so I have no experience. If you are seeking information on sang methods, you should study more reliable sources on sanitation and safety outside of tumblr for that sort of feeding. Such as medical concerns about feeding on blood, difference between art, kink, and hunger, proper blood letting (such as phlebotomy), etc.
Vampyres feed for a variety of reasons. Some because of an underlying health condition, some because it just feels good, and others to empower their magic or spirit bodies. Feeding ranges from innocent tastes of floating energy to intense draining of life. In the wider community they are called ambient feeding and deep feeding, respectively.
There are ethics for the Vampyre to consider dependant on ones core values and belief system. If they are interested in joining a group, it is important ones core values align with that of the group. Many psi spaces are okay with ambient feeding without consent but draw the line on feeding on individuals without consent. Some walk the line as it depends on the circumstance, such as feeding on an abuser as their actions dictate consent.
Hunger Pains
All Vampyres experience the lack of life force differently. Some get nauseous, some irritable, some drowsy, some fatigued, or a mix. For those that feed only ambiently, meaning no donor, these effects are usually just part of life. This is why Vampyrism is often associated with undiagnosed mental and physical illness. What sets a Vampyre apart from an ill individual is that feeding seems to be the most helpful.
Ailment and Power
In the modern community there have been conversations on the reasons for feeding being based on specific factors. Some believe it may be purely psychological and the archetype allows them room to explore and a safe space to explore it in. Others believe it is from an undiagnosed medical or mental condition. Myself, I have been to a specialist for neuromuscular disease with no conclusion on symptoms. In my experience feeding helps alleviate the brain fog, fatigue, and joint pain.
Others follow the antinomian perspective and use feeding purely as an offering to their gods or to empower their rites. They also feed their own energy body, mainly to gain power and less for any alleviation of percieved physical or psychological conditions.
Why Do You Feed?
Understanding the nuances of feeding, from need to power, will help you develop a toolbox of feeding methods. By documenting your symptoms or feelings before and after feeding can give you insight into your own being.
If you simply choose to feed and only do it for ritual purposes, then you can rule out any ailments. If you notice you are irritable or otherwise not feeling good and feed followed by relief, then you can specify in your notes the exact sensations and phsyiological changes that occured afterwards.
These notes are not necessary but they are invaluable if you are seeking to understand your Vampyrism better. It is also helpful to share and cross analyze notes. You may find you are not so alone after all.
Don't take life too seriously. Don't make being a Vampyre your sole identity that it drives you down a hole of misanthropy, nihilism, and self-destruction. Enjoy the little things. The smell of a misty morning on a morning walk, the sound of birds and squirrels, and the cackling of your inner witch.
Be the hag that rides her broom of a lover's bone. Be the chaote that spells a cat only to find out the cat actually put a spell on you. Feed on the laughter of your work crush, and dance in the rebellion of punk rock and modern pop.
Eris offered us the Golden Apple so we may taste of sweet discord and create shenanigans. Monkey Prince stole the Jade Emperor's Peach so he may taste the nectar of the Immortals, and because no one could stop him any way. Do it, whatever it is, because you want to not because you were told or expected to.
Be like Eros. The lover, the romantic, the permiscuous. You can still hold firmly to your core values and find joy in your hobbies and still be a Vampyre on a path of transformation or a wizard on a path of initiation. You are not bound by any set of rules or regulations you are uncomfortable with or find bothersome.
Just because you don't follow the rules doesn't mean you are a bad person. Some rules are for safety while others are for control. It is up to your inquisitive mind and self expression to decipher your rules of engagement from those of conformity and social mundanity.
