Nefnred @nefnred - Tumblr Blog

I finished it!!!!!!

scientists in the 1990s, putting a Get More Purple gene attached to a harmless plant virus into an already purple petunia: please get more purple

the petunia, sensing an apparent honest to god Get More Purple Disease, using the previously undiscovered RNAi antiviral ability to shut down all other purple genes along with it just in case: you put VIRUS in petunia? you infect her with the More Purple?? oh! oh! her children shall bloom white! jail for mother, jail for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!

flipocrite

clickityweasel

catboybiologist

Btw the thing this discovered is like. A foundational lab technique now and has revolutionized genetics

theonion

In an effort to make the universe a more modern and efficient place, the Lord God, Creator of Heaven and Earth, confirmed Wednesday that He would be discontinuing the pebble. “Starting in the year of our Me 2026, I will be ceasing creation of the pebble so that I can turn My focus toward stones, rocks, and boulders,” said the all-knowing and all-powerful deity, who stressed that there were already 300 billion pebbles in circulation, the vast majority of which were no longer being used by humanity.

Full Story

soulren

“Ghosts are real” I can see how you could believe that

“Ghosts aren’t real” it’s very fair and rational that you believe that

“Ghosts aren’t real anymore” I’m about to hear a poem or very sad story

“Ghosts aren’t real yet” the fuck are you going to do

theunlitpath

okay??

nefnred

I'm pretty sure there's also an Egyptian mythology story in which one of the gods puts their sperm into their rival God's lettuce?

gonna look this up

Yea that's kinda real.,,,,,,

#egypt #egyptian mythology

aqueerkettleofish

For those who have missed it, a tourist in Hawaii decided it would be fun to chuck a rock (a BIG rock) at a monk seal. He missed, but he was captured on video, and when told it was illegal to interfere with them, said "I'm rich, I can pay the fine."

Is the best part that he got doxxed? No.

Is the best part that he got tracked down by a local and beaten? No.

Arrested on state at federal charges, looking at up to 5 years and 50K? Nope.

The best part is the local city council's reaction.

And the best part of that is the look on the attorney's face.

megabuild

theonion

Howling in terror upon observing the Supreme Ruler of the Galaxy in all of His uncovered glory, TikTok creator Alex Morris reportedly screamed Friday after barging in on a bathing Xenu during a speedrun of a Church of Scientology building. “Jesus fucking Christ—what the hell is that thing?” Morris said mid-livestream as the ancient, incomprehensible Progenitor of All Thetans arose from His porcelain tub with a loofah in His hand.

Full Story

nefnred

The Onion so goated