bannerfall stream - 4cvit / 9 march 2026
transcript:
katie: it’s not your burden to bear! this is not all on you. he needs to take responsibility too.
4c: he gave up everything to save me.
katie: …(softly) didn’t you also give up everything to come here?
4c: …(quietly) yeah.
katie: you have a family, no?
4c: (silence) (even more quietly) yeah.
4c: but it’s…he gave up so much for me. and if i…if he thinks that i’m the reason- ‘cause he is so- he is so stuck on the belief that someone directly betrayed him and told everyone about everything. and whether it’s an accident or not, i haven’t told him yet. and whether i do tell him or not, if he finds out, then the thing that he’s upset about, the whole secret that we were keeping that is now out…if he sees that as i betrayed him, then that whole secret, that everything that he did, to him was for nothing.
katie: 4c, you need to stop putting him before you. you also have sacrificed a lot, you’ve sacrificed so much for him already.
4c: if he finds out about this, then it’ll be like everything that he’s done…it’ll break him.
katie: …it was going to happen either way. the way in which he was going about this, the difference in stories that he was telling? it was going to backfire on him eventually.
(cut)
4c: …i’m just worried that i’ll lose him.
katie: i know. i understand.
4c: i think it might be already too late.
katie: (crosstalk) it is- no, no no, no no no, don’t say that. it’s never too late.
4c: …that’s the thing-
katie: he sees you as a brother-
4c: i’m only in the blue kingdom because of him. what happens-
katie: but you like the blue kingdom.
4c: …the blue kingdom has always been a weird spot for me. …they- they wanted to kill me, you know. as much as i’ve been fitting in over so long, nom’s been the only reason that i’m here. and can i even call that a home anymore if he keeps- i-if this comes out and he doesn’t care about me anymore, what do i even do?
katie: your worth doesn’t depend on how nom sees you. at all. you should get to be your own person, do things for you, and that shouldn’t entirely depend on whether nom reacts strongly to something that you accidentally did. this isn’t on you.
4c: but it is.
(silence)
(cut)
katie: well-
4c: i’m the reason he broke his oath.
katie: that was a deci- no, no no no, that was a decision that he made to do, that’s not on you.
4c: (crosstalk) i’m the reason- i’m the reason he broke his oath.
4c: i’m the reason he fought against the other kingdom- or, against his own kingdom to defend me every single day. and i am the reason his secret got out. i’m literally the whole epitome of this mess that he’s in.
katie: stop. that’s not true. you cannot take the blame for all of this. yes, sure. you may have said a different story to me. but you didn’t know that nom was telling me something different. nom also has responsibility in this, he is not entirely exempt from this whole situation, he is not an angel, he is not- he’s made mistakes. it’s not entirely on you. and the fact that you are so terrified to tell him that you made a mistake, that you slipped up? it’s awful.
4c: (crosstalk) i’m not scared that he’s gonna hurt me. i’m scared that he's gonna hurt himself.
(cut)
4c: i'm just afraid. what happens? what happens if nom doesn't want to protect me anymore? i do my best to keep him level, to keep him…okay. for the past year, i've been kind of just like- i know i pickpocket from him, i know i- i tease him, but i do everything to make sure that he has a level head, but this is the first time i don't know where i can come him in to help him! he's so broken of losing katie. and if he… even though he hasn't lost me, if he feels like he lost me too, he'll only be... he might just return back to being the knight with his oath. that same knight, from before.
4c: …i just don't want to see that side of him.
