sam0sa

sam 𓆏 she/her 𓆏 minor 𓆏 desi

[neptuneispurple]

Look at my stuff (Masterlist):

Poetry

"What did I do to deserve you?"

To you, who gave me hope

Forever, and Beyond

One size fits all

she who is not to be loved

child prodigy

Dress-up

Less is More

kitty club

Sinking

Pining

Ugly

Mirrored

Clay Modelling

nikito

glamrock freddy

blue eye trinket dish

frog trinket dish

[neptuneispurple]

I don’t know what else I can do. I think I tried it all. Every path and every door but they’re all closed. One glance at my face is enough for them to slam shut. Yes, that must be it. I don’t look the part. What else could it be? I changed everything, I built a life and moved away and moved on. It’s not enough. Crying won’t change anything but there’s nothing left to change. maybe there was nothing in the first place.

[spacewonder19]

Neptune’s rings in infrared © JWST

[fairycosmos]

the amount of cognitive dissonance it requires to be a human being is absurd to be honest lad

[mothhauntedbyblame]

your soul loves you and waits until you love yourself back

[snaxle-deactivated20260531]

celebrities will be willingly giving themselves eating disorders in order to look like skin and bones because they're scared of having an ounce of fat on them and then they will look you in the eye and tell you to love your body

[neptuneispurple]

I don’t know what else I can do. I think I tried it all. Every path and every door but they’re all closed. One glance at my face is enough for them to slam shut. Yes, that must be it. I don’t look the part. What else could it be? I changed everything, I built a life and moved away and moved on. It’s not enough. Crying won’t change anything but there’s nothing left to change. maybe there was nothing in the first place.

[neptuneispurple]

avoidant

You can’t push people away and expect them to stay at arms length within your reach. In the real world people walk, they set their gait at a constant pace that your frail feet will never catch. All you can do is grip them tight and hope they can carry your weight well enough to drag you along 

[neptuneispurple]

To you, who gave me hope

“Do not borrow grief from the future” I told myself I wouldn’t My past brims with it, My future promises it But it’s easier said than done because the only grief is that this is our last A last hurrah I can’t let myself forget you And when I fill your line with meaningless messages I pray you’re reading between them for the real one That I’m scared of who we’ll become to one another A victory lap But I lose you at the end Eighteen will not make us strangers But it will hurt worse for us to be little more than too So I’ll hold your hand tightly and pray it’ll leave a mark for you to remember me by I’m trying not to borrow the grief from my future But this is The last time we make these memories so when I look at you and smile I hope you hear my eyes screaming that I already miss you I won’t let myself forget you Grief is not my friend But she seems so beautiful under this streetlamp Illuminating you in a glow I know I’ll remember many drives from now In the corner of my eye when I cross your condo on the freeway I wish these words would mean more I use mine too often for them to seem genuine But they are all I have for now So I will give them to you too My tears are not of pain They fall from my right eye first Because I have to be happy that this ever happened at all So the only grief is that this will now be the past The rest is love, and you.

[neptuneispurple]

To you, who gave me hope

“Do not borrow grief from the future” I told myself I wouldn’t My past brims with it, My future promises it But it’s easier said than done because the only grief is that this is our last A last hurrah I can’t let myself forget you And when I fill your line with meaningless messages I pray you’re reading between them for the real one That I’m scared of who we’ll become to one another A victory lap But I lose you at the end Eighteen will not make us strangers But it will hurt worse for us to be little more than too So I’ll hold your hand tightly and pray it’ll leave a mark for you to remember me by I’m trying not to borrow the grief from my future But this is The last time we make these memories so when I look at you and smile I hope you hear my eyes screaming that I already miss you I won’t let myself forget you Grief is not my friend But she seems so beautiful under this streetlamp Illuminating you in a glow I know I’ll remember many drives from now In the corner of my eye when I cross your condo on the freeway I wish these words would mean more I use mine too often for them to seem genuine But they are all I have for now So I will give them to you too My tears are not of pain They fall from my right eye first Because I have to be happy that this ever happened at all So the only grief is that this will now be the past The rest is love, and you.

[neptuneispurple]

"What did I do to deserve you?"

It's a sweet sentiment, sure but not one that I hold. I earned you. with my hands burrowed in dirt scraping, scratching, burning. My fingers fell off my hands, My features melted into my face, and I spent the rest of the millennium like that. Moulding, shaping, changing myself into someone you could love. And then when the timer ran out, mushrooms sprouted from the earth my new hands pulled me up from the soil, where I emerged as someone you would love. It was a risky process, sure but I was already nothing. How much lesser could I be? How would I have ever been adequate for your love? How can I be enough for an angel? So I died, and died, and died, skinned myself alive, peeled away my past, So I could grow, and grow, and grow to be something you should love. It would be fitting, sure to say that I lost myself in the musings of infatuation, but for you? I'd be a fool not to. And when you finally loved me too? It was simply the juice of the fruit whose seed I'd sown.

[neptuneispurple]

child prodigy

i’m not wise, i’m stupid i give people advice i haven’t learnt to take yet  in hopes that repeating it so many times will help me remember it when the time comes 

for now i'll fuel my love into my friends my things  my mom and my kitty

in hopes it will one day pour back into me  and i will love myself as completely as I love them 

[neptuneispurple]

Forever, and Beyond

This is not the first time we’ve met, Nor is it the first time we’ve gotten well acquainted, Become friends, Fallen in love, And this certainly isn’t the first time we’ve been torn apart.

In every life time, In every alternate timeline, My only constant remains you. Love is no guarantee, but this,  Us, Is forever. 

For even in the worst of realities, You, a ring master. Me, the freak show. You, the sought after beauty.  Me, the monstrous beast. You showed me compassion, You gave me hope, You dedicated your soul to mine, So that I may find yours once again.

My body remembers yours, It traces lines in the shapes you've left,  It longs for warmth in places you’ve left cold, It shivers in the fear that it has been long forgotten.

But I know that to be untrue.  All I need to do is look at you, For my bluebell, The look of recognition in your eyes says it all You remember too. 

[neptuneispurple]

ADITYA

THIS IS A CEASE AND DESIST

PLS DONT LOOK AT MY TUMBLR

[neptuneispurple]

pssssst..... something's coming........

[neptuneispurple]

Falling in love never works out for me. I’m not the kind of girl who can win you over, I spent my younger years  throwing my heart at boy after boy,  looking for one it would stick to spending hours  getting dolled up in the mirror  the night before. And as I sat on my stool, perched in front of the vanity like porcelain My chest burned with excitement  but my eyes burned with tears like cruel foreshadowing For I knew the following night I would be left once again with my slippery heart sticking to only my own cold fingers, and my tears burned into my skin  like war-paint, A caution to behold to all those who dare to look upon she who is not to be loved

[neptuneispurple]

this was a self fulfilling prophecy because guess who was crying over a boy the night after she wrote this!!!!!

[neptuneispurple]

Falling in love never works out for me. I’m not the kind of girl who can win you over, I spent my younger years  throwing my heart at boy after boy,  looking for one it would stick to spending hours  getting dolled up in the mirror  the night before. And as I sat on my stool, perched in front of the vanity like porcelain My chest burned with excitement  but my eyes burned with tears like cruel foreshadowing For I knew the following night I would be left once again with my slippery heart sticking to only my own cold fingers, and my tears burned into my skin  like war-paint, A caution to behold to all those who dare to look upon she who is not to be loved