Something’s that’s so funny to me is the idea that Robert is physically unable of coming out as bisexual.
Don’t get me wrong, he’s not closeted or anything. He may be private about his life, but if anyone asks he’ll tell them relatively easily.
However. Robert saw some asshole try to use Mechaman as like, a symbol of the some republican ass American dream picket fence life style, and he has to ensure that this does not continue. (For reference, this is in the past, sometime in his early twenties)
During interviews, he starts dropping little hints, like mentioning dating people and not saying women. He refers to a past male partner. Talking about how dating apps can be especially difficult for queer folk.
Everyone essentially goes “oh wow, ally<3” and continues on their way. “ wow I didn’t know mechaman worked with anyone! I wonder who this work partner was:]”
So he goes a little harder. Flirts with a man on camera (in his special joking/casual way). Talks about how a male celebrity is hot. Makes a joke about how he’d do anything a specific male hero he has a good relationship with (hooked up with) tells him to do while they’re on a job together (whatever you say handsome!)
“ wow it’s so nice to see that mechaman is so secure in his masculinity! Most guys would be scared of seeming gay haha”
He goes to a pride parade in his flight suit. Uses his own goddamn money to buy a little bi pride flag and waves it around. Somehow he gets spotted and dragged on to a float. He does not enjoy crowds, and does not enjoy attention. But he guesses it is nice to have the community, and at least now there’s not gonna be any debate-
“Aw haha he looks so lost! Grabbed the first flag he saw lol. Blue is such a good ally :] always supporting us :]]”
For a while he gives up. Clearly he’s just meant to be closeted. He doesn’t even remember why he started this whole thing, after a while it was just pissing him off that they weren’t understanding. But fine, whatever, he loses.
And then. One night. He goes to a hero bar in costume. Kinda trashy, not as good as nice as crypto night, but it’s fine. Meets a nice guy, they get a couple drinks. Both a little tipsy, but not drunk or anything. The night goes on, and he ends up outside the bar, pressing the dude against a wall and making out with him. Sure, maybe a little scandalous, but nothing he hasn’t done before. He hears a gasp. He turns just in time to see the camera flash as a someone (a reporter ?) snaps a photo and runs away. Fuck.
Robert forgot gossip mag workers liked to haunt the bar to catch drunk hero’s making a fool of themself. Well, at least they can’t misinterpret this one! No way to “he’s an ally” their way out of this one, they’ll have to admit he actually queer-
The article comes out. It’s a big enough article to be in grocery stores, he’s sees it on one of his trips. The picture is displayed big on the cover. The title reads “MECHAMAN CLOSETED?”
Closeted. Question mark. They’re unsure. For a moment he hopes the general public will have more sense. He should have known that would be wrong, they don’t have any sense. Ever.
“It’s SO trashy to spread these types of rumors. If Mecha wanted us to know he was bi he would tell us. Plus it is sooo obvious it’s not him and just someone in a costume, look how small he is! I thought we were past these things…”
Robert bangs on the closet door again and they add another lock on the handle.
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