You know the. You know the Femme Fatale "I grew up with 10 brothers so I know how to fight" character?
That's
That's Roy Mustang
Just the opposite.
Roy "I grew up with 10 sisters so I know how to disguise covert information reconnaissance as flirting" Mustang.
"I grew up with 10 sisters so I know how to weaponize my sexual charm to disarm others and win favor."
Roy led every higher-up to believe he was just a fuckboy and a manwhore in this for his own ego and that they shouldn't view him as any kind of violent revolutionary like "no sir I'm just a slut."
I'm surprised I didn't say this in the original post but to specify: Roy Mustang grew up in a brothel, specifically he grew up adopted by a woman running a brothel where, specifically, all the women there are in the business of covert information reconnaissance by playing escort to important politicians.
Which. is an absolutely batshit primary character backstory to mention once, late in the series, and then immediately move on from.
And actually Hiromu Arakawa did it so well that every single fan interpretation of Roy Mustang for the FMA03 anime treated him as an honest to god man-slut. Bought his whole act hook line and sinker.
And you do, in fact, need to get further into the manga/Brotherhood to realize he is just acting like a slut because surely a true and honest hand-to-god slut like this guy wouldn't be overthrowing the government.
happy pride month i made some pride flags !! look familiar? >:)
for a show that gave viewers of all ages beautifully loving lesbians, toxic old man mpreg yaoi, non binary gods, and everything in between <3 i love gay people almost as much as tdp <3333
Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The eeb that deebs, the blorb that plinks!
’Twas Tumblr, and the slithy memes
Did bode and call out on the dash:
Fucken WIMDY were the shitpost streams,
And of things was the trash.
“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The eeb that deebs, the blorb that plinks!
Beware of Shittos Glup, and shun
Bendlebick Cumperdincks!”
He took his discourse sword in hand;
Long time the chungus foe he sought—
So rested he in the ball pit (free!)
And sat awhile in thought.
And, as in uffish (derogatory) thought he sat,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came GIFfling through the old group chat,
And hurgled as it came!
UWU! UWU! And through and through
The discourse blade went "Um, actually, the Jabberwock is coded as friendly because 'eyes of flame' means red and orange, and those are warm and inviting colors according to 'color theory', which I guess you haven't heard of and don't understand."
He left it dead, and with its head
He man car door hook hand.
“And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boi!
O #frabjousday! Sounds fake but okay!”
He reblogged in his joy.
’Twas Tumblr, and the slithy memes
Did bode and call out on the dash:
Fucken WIMDY were the shitpost streams,
And all of us were trash.
I think the most hilarious place to put Post-Canon Sokka would have been the university at Ba Sing Se. I think he would have made a great unhinged professor. Also, in true Sokka fashion, he should have completely dodged fame. Momo is more famous than he is.
He wants to demonstrate to the class how this thing called electricity works, so he's going to be bringing in a Firebender, so everybody be cool, we're all friends here... and in walks Princess Azula of the Fire Nation. One-time conqueror of the city. One of the students is currently writing an essay on how her brief rule of the city affected fruit trade. She says she considers the class to still be her subjects as she doesn't acknowledge any pretenders to any of her thrones, but for now you're exempted from bowing and "Your Highness" will do. It's a really interesting lecture.
"Okay, guys - hey, listen up, everyone - I won't be here next week, me and Aang are going to-" yeah right, sure, Professor Sokka knows the Avatar. Except, of course, the Avatar walks in sheepishly and says that Appa might have gotten into Sokka's hybrid crops, and then you all have to sit there and watch your professor chase the Avatar around with a sword.
One postgrad student is specializing in Water Tribe Cultures. She's currently studying the massive cultural shift that happened in the Northern Water Tribe at the end of the war - oh, and Professor, I absolutely know that you're from the Southern Water Tribe, but it's just that the shift started with Master Katara, and of course I don't think that every person from the South knows one another haha it's just that I need to ask her some questions and I thought maybe you could help me write a letter or write a letter of introduction or...
Sokka looks at her blankly and goes "yeah, she's my sister. KATARA!" which is followed by a faint answering "fuck you!" from Somewhere and to the horror/elation of our postgrad, Master Katara bursts in and is promptly beaned in the head with a rock by Professor Sokka. Her brother. her hero and her professor are siblings and currently brawling on the floor.
Sokka does not teach or study history, but he does sometimes sit in on lectures about recent history. Whenever he does, several doctoral students flock in to sit near him (even if it's an intro course) so that they can eavesdrop on his grumbling. (No matter how they try, an "overheard utterance" is not a valid source according to their professors. No, we have no sources on the Avatar's bison taking part in combat - sky bison are not war animals and...)
He gets regular deliveries with the Beifong family crest on them, and he goes "sweet, Toph must have found some new minerals" and at this point nobody needs to ask which Toph. He seems to have friends everywhere, literally everywhere. Wang was headed out to this massive swamp to study if it's one big organism, and Sokka told him to find some guy named Hue and "don't mind the loincloth." One time the university gets shut down because the Earth King wants to visit. Oh, visit the University? What an honor- Of fucking course not, he wants to visit Professor Sokka, who yells at him and his royal guards for interrupting his day. The Earth King and his many, many royal guards then sheepishly say sorry and file out.
The last straw is when - not a week after he yelled at the Earth King - the assistant head of the Political Science dept walks in to the faculty lounge to find Sokka having tea with a nice normal man dressed in Earth greens for once, and can't resist a little joke. "Let me guess, you're having tea with the Fire Lord." And then she can instantly tell that she fucked up, because both of them go stock still.
So when the two men awkwardly stand up and proceed to introduce the Fire Lord whose portrait she has in her office because she is the assistant head of Political Science as Li, a server at the Jasmine Dragon, she just says "hello Li" and leaves to find a bottle of something strong.
You dig a big enough hole that water can stay in, it becomes a pond. And once it's been a pond for long enough, fish somehow appear. Even though it's not connected to any other water - hell, consider all the lakes that aren't connected to any other water. How the fuck are there fish? Where do they come from?
One day, something in space is going to look at humans the same way. You go to a new galaxy and there's freaking humans in there, like they just spontaneously manifest on random planets that have the ability to sustain them. All you need is an atmosphere with enough oxygen, some form of water, and that's pretty much all you need before they seem to just pop out of the ground and start terraforming it.
The mystery of the lake fish has been solved, by the way. It's waterfowl. Much like the birds that eat seeds and spread them around, waterfowl consume roe from the water, and while the number of fertilised fish eggs that pass through the digestive system of a duck or wild goose alive and unharmed may be small, it's not zero. A goose will shit in the lake water, and through comes the roe. It happens just often enough that lakes and ponds become - and remain - populated with fish.
Humans don't pop up on unknown planets and and unreachable galaxies on purpose. They couldn't get in there any more than they could get out of there, they have no choice but to claim the most viable-looking planet they can reach and start terraforming it. But how did they even get there?
You see, every once in a while an unfortunate human spaceship gets swallowed by a cosmic duck
“Is it more ethical to cast fireball at these goblins (of which there are twelve) OR let the goblins kill my three companions?? If we consider the utilitarian view, I should let the goblins win, but if I consider contractualism I did agree to adventure with these people and should protect them. But is any violence truly just? Must we enact harm to further our goals???”
Meanwhile Eleanor’s killed them already and Chidi’s actually a bard who confuses people with his long tirades on hypothetical ethics (he’s SURE he’s a wizard)
It feels cool to be "in" on celebrity gossip before anyone else. I ran into Californian Condor V9 and looked her up on the condor lookup website. It says her current mate is dead and she has no kids but I saw her with a new man AND a juvenile.
One day you are going to marry that human. You’re going to vouch for her before your queen. You’re going to ride into battle beside her. You’re going to give her the hotcat that thinks yours is cute but won’t admit it yet. You’re going to suggest giving up being queen and running away to Katolis so you can be with her. You’re going to tell her the only thing you really know is how much you want to marry her. She’s going to rescue you after you’ve been abducted. She’s going to hold you after the deaths of your sister and brother. She’s going to strive to learn your culture and unlearn a lifetime of prejudices. She’s stand up for what you believe in. She’s going to be up with you when you have nightmares sent by a star touch titan. She’s going to ask you what you want, and reassure you, in your darkest hours, that you can be queen
I still think that the “the glowing hay is pretty neat” guards (who are all well familiar with the prince/king and his glowing companion) knew exactly what was up and let them get away with it deliberately
