Hello my name is _______, and I ship Stucky... sorta.
Hello from the void of to anyone who has stumbled upon my ravings and/or is still reading this particular brain vomit at this point. This is unexpected part 3 to my essay because I realized... “hey I have to break Bucky’s story in half. Well ain’t that a peach •__•”
Part 1 focused on Steve Rodgers.
Part 2 focuses on Bucky pre-winter soldier.
Part 3 or 2.A or whatever floats your goat is a focus on Bucky after the wilted soldier debacle. You don’t NEED part 2 to understand this but it should help flesh out some points I make later down the river.
!!WARNING!! Spoilers for Falcon and the Winter Soldier through ep. 3 TBA afoot!!!!
Part....? James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes - the Winter Soldier/White Wolf
When it comes to Stucky, I fall into the camp that most people seem to. It’s heavily influenced by the way they lived pre-serum, the way they fought together in WWII, the trauma endured via the Winter Soldier debacle,and most importantly the culture shock they’ve both experienced as a result of being ‘plucked’ out of time.
When we left off, Bucky was one tricky romantic situation. He was so far in the closet, he passed Narnia five mink coats ago and was painfully sitting in the only seat he could to remain in Steve’s life as Steve and Peggy were falling for one another before his eyes.
Then, the train. Bucky falls and lands in the hands of hydra for the foreseeable future. When we next see Bucky, he’s a greasy hair murder machine with one less arm and far more angst. Oh and his job? Kill Steve Rodgers.
CAatWS is really where a lot of the Stucky info comes to light. I see many people cite it, myself included, when pointing out just how close these two are. At this point they’ve reached more than friends, brothers in arms, and what have you. When Bucky is at his absolute lowest, when he’s lost all the Bucky it’s Steve who pulls him from the edge. Steve reminds him of who he remembered as Bucky. Steve reminded Bucky of them. Steve reminded Bucky of him. I think that’s a damn big deal if you ask me. That’s a level of psychological trauma we can (hopefully) never understand and Steve is his anchor.
The next time these two characters interact is civil war. Bucky is on the run, the avengers are dealing with the shit storm that is the sacovia(?) accords, and everything is flipping mess. But you know who isn’t a mess in this Sam. I mentioned in part one that I think Sam does and will continue to serve as Bucky’s version of Natasha. He’s not a romantic interest, but he’s an anchor to the modern world. He’s a best friend that forces Steve and Bucky to not be so co-dependent in their “plucked from time and placed into the future after a punch of traumatic ass manipulation and self sacrifice take place”-ness. They act like brothers. And for one, it’s not Bucky who’s taking care of anyone. He’s the one being looked after.
I don’t think that by this point Bucky has really had anytime to process anything other than he’s himself, he’s done horrific awful things, Steve’s alive, and Steve believes he is GOOD. Those are what keep him going. Even in the face of Tony’s meltdown, Steve believes in Bucky. Once again, Steve is Bucky’s anchor.
Wakanda is very obviously necessary for Bucky. He needed that time to recalibrate and regain his grip on reality. As we see, he remember all that happened as the winter soldier. They come to him in PTSD night mares. Let us not forget that’s on top of his WWII ptsd.
However, I think in this time something happens where Bucky individually comes to terms with something. I think he, finally, fully acknowledges the extent of his feelings for Steve. He may not quite be ready to accept them but he’s come to terms with the fact that they are really, truly there. Why do I say this? Because the next time see Bucky he looks like he came from a damn spa retreat. His hair is maximized flood, he has the comfy looking yoga wrap thing on AND he looks more relaxed than he did in CAtFA. By like a mile.
When shit with Thanos gets real and Bucky is asked to take up arms, he does so for Steve. He sit’s himself in the one place he feels he can be close to Steve, by his side in battle. And they make an adorable team. Like he real, if you didn’t think they were the cutest before you were obviously blinded by the whole Iron Dad/Spider Son thing happening in space. And then it all comes crashing down. Because pain hits the audience, we all cry out in shock and half the universe is gone. Bucky being one of them. Not only does he go, he goes before Steve’s eyes. TWICE now Bucky has “died” infront of Steve and it gets to him.
I have no idea what happened in the blip for people like Bucky. What I do know is we’re reaching present day and it’s about to get rough...
Endgame, End of the Line my butt —.— and the personal trauma of loss and unrequited love
I have mixed feeling about Steve’s Actions in Endgame. I go more in-depth about the Peggy Carter Situation in part 1, but despite my personal misgivings it happened that way and as such that specific action is what affects the characters.
When Steve does his last mission, you can see Bucky lose some of the light he had just gotten back in his eyes via wakanda’s summer resort and spa. He knows Steve. He knows that kid from Brooklyn better than he knows himself. And (in fitting this with canon 😞🙃) He knows HOW much Steve loved Peggy. How exhausted he was of the whole thing. How much Steve was just done of fighting and was ready for his permanent shore leave. But Bucky also knows how much he wants Steve to be happy. He would rather suffer hell than let Steve. We’ve seen him risk the irons to get Steve far far away from danger (no matter how futile that is) and he’s resigned. To him, it’s just another case of Steve rejecting his protection. Steve picking her over him. And by now, Bucky thinks he deserves it. He doesn’t deserve Steve, not after all the awful things he’s done. So he just stands by his side with that pained, knowing look. The one that clearly reads he wishes for nothing more than to be back in Brooklyn in 1940 with his best friend, the little guy. Because Steve just proved to him, it wasn’t the end of their line, he was only with Bucky til the end of his. 😭😭😭😭
Okay we’re getting into serious spoiler territory you have been warned.
Sooooooooooooooo, I think Bucky post blip, did the whole “new hair, new me” think because he’s rocking the short hair again. We find out he tried online dating and thought it was overwhelming (I relate man I relate) and he’s been seeing a court mandated military therapist. Now I know we only saw him for like .5 seconds in Infinity War and End Game but still. It seemed like he was doing a lot better. (I know it’s not that easy to get over the amount of trauma a prisoner of war goes through much less one in this crazed ass universe but still) and yet when we see him in ep. 1, he very obviously starting to slip. He’s a snarky smart ass to his therapist, he can’t go on one date because she triggers him (I’m being totally serious not condescending) and he resents Sam for pretty much everything and has since he met him. Why? Because he sees Sam as the replacement him. Steve even gave the shield to Sam. (Not that Bucky wanted it but it’s the principle of the thing) And then what does Sam do? He gives the shield away. I think the Bucky that’s just as bad as giving Steve away. We then find out Bucky is struggling to make amends with Nakajima because he truly feels like shit for what happened to the man through his actions. And he has like NO furniture at all in his apartment. He’s a mess, hiding behind a haircut. And he’s not hiding well.
Enter John Walker. 🙄 the “new” Captain America. The scene with Walker of Good Morning America where he said he felt like he could call Steve his brother, I just want to point out Seb. Stan did a phenomenal job with the acting on. His reaction to the whole thing was so nuanced I loved it. I thought Bucky was about to tear a hole in the wall and smash his TV. He can’t help but feel this is an insult to Steve and anything that messes with Steve is HIS problem. The points where Bucky yells at Sam for calling him something Steve did or just clenches his jaw because RULE # 2!!!!!!! They speak volumes to how much he HATES John Walker, because that man keeps acting chummy with Bucky. He’s trying to snake oil him, not realizing Bucky knew the Snake that the oil came from. Bucky is having none of it. 😤 good man I say. So far that’s all we have on Bucky and the new cap.
Now for my big boy, BUCKY and SAM! I mentioned how I though Sam was going to be Bucky’s Nat? Well I still think this. In fact I think this infinitely more after the first three episodes of FatWS. Sam is straight with Bucky, calls him creepy, tells him he’s being overboard, tells him where to get off, but will be there for him. Granted, these two are only at the infancy of this epic bromance, but believe you me it’s there and they’re fostering it hard!!! They act like petulant children with each other. Like ACTUAL brothers. I think they fufil this dynamic way better than Bucky and Steve because it s truly 1000000000% platonic between the two of them. There is absolutely nothing more. Bucky had mad feels for Steve. This throws off the bromance dynamic. I think they same think is true for the brother in arms dynamic between Steve and Sam. Because it’s totally 100% platonic no feelings beyond “dude? Dude.” There’s a sense of “ah yes okay I believe it” even though Steve was not IN love with Bucky, he still loved the guy and they had just so much baggage it to their relationship somewhere else ya feel?
My final thoughts are on Bucky and his reactions to the loss of Steve. He uses Steve’s notebook to keep his list of wronged names. Steve used it to write down pointless things like some modern song Sam suggested to him, or thoughts he was having. I’m sure this makes Bucky feel as though he has Steve with him. And he is incredibly protective of the thing. It’s his physical memory of Steve. Not even captain America but just Steve Rodgers. The other thing is pulled from the group therapy with Sam. When Bucky finally lets out why he’s pissed at Sam I sobbed. Steve was his anchor. His universal constant. The mans unwavering conviction and loyalty was something Bucky could always find solace in, even when it torturing him with stress. He trusts Steve’s judgement unconditionally, so when Steve picks Sam Bucky follows. But as he said “if he was wrong about you, then he was wrong about me.” That internal batter for Bucky is still waging and he can’t lose his faith in the one thing he has left. If Steve is wrong then he’s a monster and there is not hope. And if there’s no hope Bucky is done for. Even after he’s gone, he still needs Steve.
Bucky is very much I love with Steve. He may not ever accept it, especially now, but it’s there. However, Steve doesn’t feel the same way. Although their bond is strong, for Steve it’s something else. A familial bond beyond words, but not romantic love. That’s why I ship Stucky..... kinda.
