Howdy @nerdalie-dorky - Tumblr Blog

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

rednines

cryptotheism

I just felt someone Z-target me

search-queery

[clearly circle-strafing you] don't be ridiculous

chronicillnesshumor-deactivated

neenarchive

they're hiring me at the extra virgin olive oil factory as the oathsworn knight who protects the chastity of the olives

sabertoothwalrus

pros of eating your lunch outside on a nice spring day: feeling the sun, getting vitamin d, hearing birds chirping, watching the bees and the lizards and the squirrels

cons of eating your lunch outside on a nice spring day:

MY NAPKINS

shrimpin-aint-easy

Can you please just have an ounce of shrimpathy?

loscharlitos

loveridden1999

loccorocco

Was riding a provincial bus with my friend. The bus braked hard, and she caught me by the forehead. It was a meaty smack

chilewithcarnage

I'm entomologically evil. Im bad and I'ms bugs.

maelwife

I love jaywalking with another pedestrian lol we’re unionized

necromancelena

Going outside with wet hair from showering is humiliating because everyone sees you and thinks stuff like "eww gross here comes the wet girl". But going outside with wet hair when it's raining? Unambiguous boon because now everyone is thinking stuff like "wow, she's so topical" and "her hair is a scathing critique of the times we live in"