We rarely speak anymore, but yes. As individual headmates we all have slightly different source memories and lived very different lives. None of us are completely sure how this happened, but it is a thing we all acknowledge.
We have this huge playlist of like over 5000 songs now and so whenever we listen to music, we kind of just put shuffle on and skip to a song we like and just keep skipping till we find songs we wanna listen to. The playlist combines all our favorite music genres.
I just watched everyone vacate front so fast because a copperhead was approaching us. Being the only one in headspace not afraid of snakes is a true trip at times - Shilo
You Were Baby Talking a Venomous Serpent!!! - Aesteveon
And I didn't get a picture b/c of you. It wasn't attacking!!
Friendly reminder that things will look different between plurals, and that’s okay!
Introjects levels of source attachment will be different, and that’s okay!
If an introject wants to be treated like their source will be different, and that’s okay!
Role function will be different, and that’s okay!
The way fronting works will be different, and that’s okay!
Headspace functionality will be different, and that’s okay!
A lot of things will be different, and that is perfectly fine!!
It’s okay for things to be different, because everybody’s brain functions differently. You can’t expect someone’s plural experience to be exactly like yours. I could go on and on and list all of the things that may be different, but the moral of the story is that the plural experience is diverse and unique to each set of individuals. :)
hey reminder that switching looks different for everyone, and you have zero fucking right to tell people that they're making their system up for their switches looking differently to yours.
some people zone out and stare into the void.
some people have the head drop
some people have barely noticeable switches
some people have switches that takes ages
most people have a mix of switches.
you have zero right to tell them they're "switching incorrectly." wtf even is that.
Hey other plurals! Remember, there is no one stopping you from holding your headmates' hands.
There is no one stopping you from hugging your headmates.
There is no one stopping you from kissing your headmates.
There is no one stopping you from other displays of physical intimacy with your headmates. Given everyone's boundaries are being followed, we would highly recommend doing so!
Not only is it good for your mental health, but it can be good for your physical health as well. Our body was tired earlier and someone fronted to give someone else a massage in the headspace - note person B is usually very restless - and she and the body were fully relaxed in minutes. We actually fell asleep because of it and woke up feeling fairly refreshed.
So yeah, give your headmates some probably much needed attention, I'm sure they'll appreciate it!
We don't feel as much, but you're curious. It genuinely feels like most of us don't speak English in the back of his space. Anyone else have this experience?
Hello! I'm Ardyn, and I decided to make this guide because after talking to many systems, I've come to realize that moving from a near medianhood to a full multiplicity may encourage better function for certain systems. For us any identity blurriness brings a lot of pain that has been aided by further separation and amnesiac barriers. Before you put an awful judgement on this, remember that healing is different for everyone, and breaking down barriers isn't best for everyone. This is up to the system, there is no guilt on wanting to do what is best for your system.
RADQUEERS DONT TOUCH
This guide will hold many different exercises and ideas that have been taken from tulpamancy and my own experiences.
first I'd say get situated with identity grounding and also following the "The Body is a Car" exercise within these sources
Identity Grounding
Guide to Switching
Building up Distinction
Separate Journals/Diaries
A seperate journal or diary that nobody can write in but that headmate is a good way to help a headmate build up their identity. They will be able to write down their own experiences and their own feelings, and this seperate space gives reinforces the idea that they are ultimately apart from you.
Separate Accounts with a Separate Feed
Something that pushed for the blur was having similar feeds, seeing my interest would push me to the front and cause issues for Vincent. He ended up making his own account on reddit where he is able to join subreddits that appeal to solely his interest, and it would help keep him at front instead of pull someone else.
Distinct Hobbies
encourage your headmates to pick up hobbies that are not something you may be interested in, hobbies give way to individuality as now they may seek others who share that hobby or spaces online that appeals to that hobby.
Different Clothing and Ownership
Assign different clothing and other items to headmates, let them pick out their own jacket and may they be the only ones to wear that jacket. Let them have their own perfume, let them have their own bag, let them have their own keychain for the car keys. This won't just give you that barrier, but also can be used as a form of identity grounding during a blur. When in blur, you will be able to tell whose fronting based on what clothing makes you feel more yourself.
Different Friends
This option may be more difficult, but it works very efficiently. Let your headmates have their own friend, I mean it. Giving them someone outside the system that they themselves can solely talk to is absolutely perfect in giving that split. Interacting and communication outside the body and encouraging unmasking will do wonders.
Drop Part Language
If you really want to encourage separation, you will have to drop the idea that you are all pieces of another. This is however a preference, speak to your headmates about it. Speak to them about terms they may prefer, maybe customized role names, let them be themselves. Push to yourself too that these are different people, not parts of you. But like I said, if parts language isn't an issue for you, then you might not have to change after all :P but I recommend it for this all to work.
Identity Separating Exercises
Now as you have pushed the formation of these headmates, now it's your goal to start separating them more and more through these exercises
Remember: Fake it until you make it
Being consistent in these exercises will be great, but you also have to make sure you believe that they are working. Plurality is very much a brain game, you have power over yourself and the more you believe these separations the more they will be. Some of these exercises are purely for pushing the belief, I recommend having a collection of proof on your plurality to refer to whenever you get doubtful.
I also recommend joining a tulpamancy community such as a discord or reddit, even if you don't practice tulpamancy, these people have so much trust in themselves and the process that it starts to rub off on you.
Separation Meditation
If you are able to visualize and even after doing all the above you still feel like your headmate hasn't fully left you, this exercise may be useful. In this meditation, you are to visualize the headmate in front of you. Then repeat "___ is a separate person from me" repeatedly for however long you like once a day.
Discussions
Speak to your headmates, ask questions about their lives
Here is a good source on that
Preface It’s often difficult to find things to talk to your tulpa about, especially when you’re just starting to work on vocality, or your t
The best route to take is to discuss opinions and specifically focus on what you disagree on, this will reinforce in your mind that this person is not you, this person does not agree with you, this person has their own opinion. Focus on those ideas until they really settle, and maybe also record these disagreements in your proof collection.
Affirmations
If you are a bit too busy for these things, constant affirmation throughout the day are both simple and helpful. Here is a good list
"__ is a seperate person from me"
"the system has entirely different and seperate people"
"___ is real and a seperate person"
"the system is noticeably distinct"
at first it may feel silly, but like I said, fake it until you make it. These will reinforce ideas.
Building Up Amnesiac Barriers
This may be more controversial, but for us these barriers help a ton. I would like to say that we already had blackout amnesia to begin with, but these exercises made them "worse". There are many reasons why a system may want to have higher amnesiac barriers, ours being privacy and independence, try to avoid judgement on this decision. The Switching Guide above also has an exercise that will push lost time.
"Cancel Recall"
When a memory from another headmate tries to seep into your thought process, immediately cover that memory and say to yourself "This memory isn't mine to remember". Perhaps visualize a door closing on it or a lock appearing on that memory. Mentally assign that memory to the correct headmate and move on
Affirmation
Affirmations that may help these barriers can be used situationally, just whenever you try and remember a time another headmate fronted think "No, I don't remember"
Headspace Tools
If you have a headspace, try using creation. Imagine cutting memory ties off with everyone else that can only temporarily be connected when agreed upon by both parties. Maybe also set up a headspace memory lock system.
Using Remnants left behind
When I say this I mean use something such as text messages a headmate left behind and when scrolling through them, focus and think "This wasn't me, I don't remember typing this".
Memory Redirection
Most times it's harder to push a memory away than just redirect it. When redirecting memory, for example you start to remember something another headmate did in meatspace, recite "that wasn't me, what did I do during this time" and attempt to recall your time within the headspace instead.
FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT, REMEMBER THAT
what do you guys think? any changes we should make? we would love to hear how this guide impacted your system!
thinking about that post about how yeah, it's definitely possible and valid to be trans without dysphoria, but also a lot of trans people are underestimating the amount of dysphoria they experience that has faded to mental background noise
and thinking about how this almost certainly applies to systems and dissociation as well. like yeah, it's entirely possible and valid to be a completely non-disordered, non-dissociative system, but I think a lot of plurals are vastly underestimating the amount of dissociation they experience because it's common to them so they don't even notice. I know that's definitely how it went for us
[if not already clear, this post is inclusive of all origins]
germansingergirl
pixelskylines
jbbartram-illu
vaporwave
theartofmadeline
janainaart
jacobvanloon
annaxmalina
areudirty
tangentwithtanner
dededos
