Wits and Giggles @never-share-the-hedge - Tumblr Blog

maidthings

you ever wake up from a dream amd immediately think "well that was a bit heavyhanded"

all-the-bones-ever-deactivated2

this hit me like a truck

the-reylo-void

@icapturedthecastle

kosmogrl

hackercult

this place sucks im gonna drink six beers and jack off

hackercult

yeehawpim

The new glass half empty vs half full

trans-ralsei

caughtthedarkness93

I love my job, but reblogging employment jelly for someone else I love.

taylorswift

It’s a new soundtrack 💙 Here are the back covers and vault track titles for 1989 (my version) I can’t wait for this one to be out, seriously. Thank you for playing along, sleuthing, puzzling and making these reveals so much chaotic fun (which is the best kind of fun, after all 😜)

bitty-bytes

If he's so evil and heartless, why is he cuddling with me oh so gently and kissing me?

cats

this is literally a taylor swift quote about picking up food after it’s fallen on the floor

emswift

georgiaadorestaylor

IM SCREAMING

taylorcometobrazil

OMG I REMEMBER THAT

taylorswift

Yeah as it turns out not all inspirational quotes are A) about climbing mountains B) inspiring at all when you consider the source material 🍟

“doN’t piCk it Up & eAt iT iF itS sTiCkY, iT’s iNtUiTioN🤪”

awesomegirl2001-deactivated2024

Who up & searching for a sense of belonging

themysteriousmurasamecastle

french guys be jacqueing off

weaver-z

I heard this metaphor growing up, and in my case, it backfired supremely, because I went out into my neighbor’s backyard where a rose bush was growing, and the one I tested had like 30 petals (it was yellow, but definitely a rose of some kind), and as a very logical lass, I came to the conclusion that you could have premarital sex AT LEAST ten times before your future husband would even notice something was up. Moral of the story? Test your metaphors on the weirdest and most neurodivergent child you know before writing your weird religious propaganda.

megavileplume

As a florist I also find this hilarious too because you pretty much always need to remove four or five guard petals from a rose before incorporating it into an arrangement. If I actually handed someone a “virgin rose” they would inevitably complain about the quality because the outer petals of a rose are almost always bruised, torn, or sometimes even rotted. Not to mention the roses you can buy are the product of almost a thousand years of selective breeding and therefore not very natural themselves.

So like, be an untouched flower I guess but don’t show us all the natural blemishes that come with that?

weaver-z

What I’m hearing is that fucking four or five times before marriage improves your appearance and clears your skin

whitefangthefightingwolf

and probably makes you more skilled at fucking

derinthescarletpescatarian

There are manmade joys beyond my comprehension, too. The horrors aren’t special.

gauntletqueen

I'm so sick of people saying water doesn't taste. Water fuckin TASTES

mistral

well what does it taste like then?

gauntletqueen

ober-affen-geil

You know, the place where I last worked wanted to use our reading room as backdrop for a filmed interview (we had a very pretty reading room). On the day the film crew was there, the audio guy came over to my desk which was at the edge of the space and said "Look, you can keep working 'cus you're not doing anything too loud, but in a minute I'm going to go over there and call for silence for 10-20 seconds, and during that time I need you to not make any noise." And I went "lol sure" but he clearly felt a little uncomfortable telling me to not move at my own desk so he explained; the purpose of those 20 seconds is to record the silence in the room.

It's so they have a patch they can edit "silence" over some extraneous background noise later (the phone ringing, me getting an email, the toilet flushing in the bathroom next door, the elevator coming and going, noisy student group, etc), but the point was that they can't just slap any old "silence" over a recording done in a certain room. They have to use the "silence" *from that room* or it will be jarring on a subliminal level to the people listening. Because silence has a sound, and it's a little different everywhere you hear it.

That's what water tastes like.