The idea of them adding rain and Dr Grace immediately disliking it and going inside is just so tasty. On an animal level the biodome team are simply not pleased that he displays an aversive response!! AND YET this is precisely the whole deal with rain... even if they know that and the experience coordinator appreciates the extra tool to encourage him to move through different areas and spend his time in different places... it's just inarguably annoying to see Dr Grace squint and hunch in your PRECIOUS RAIN.
Tolkien only has two kind of elves: Enderenwen the fair, who's eyes hold centuries of pain and yet his gaze is as kind as the first sun in spring, his mother was a nightingale and his father a seabreeze, flowers grow wherever he walks;
And Finwendulenfinfedë, who has killed half of his entire family and is here to fuck shit up and/or die trying
The most horrifying thing about being a human is that no matter how intelligent you are or how much customer service training you have, nothing will stop you from being the idiot customer on occasion. At some point you won't read a sign or you'll misread a menu or ask the dumbest question a human has ever formed and there is nothing you can do to prevent this. It will happen. Accept it and continue on your way as one of today's dipshit customers.
But the best thing about also working in customer service is that you know through experience that it's okay to be a little bit dumb as long as you're polite! Like knowing the kinds of people I deal with (and presumably colleagues in other customer service based jobs as well), has made me waaaaay less embarrassed about making some silly mistakes or having to ask a question.
A Tutorial On Typesetting In Affinity (With Template)
This is an semi-abbreviated guide to typesetting in Affinity Publisher, using the template I posted here.
While this is not a comprehensive tutorial, I tried to be as detailed as possible, and hope this help folks with their typesetting journeys!
Note: there are different ways to to do this, these are just the ways I've used personally. (And by 'used', I mean all the features and functions I've bashed my head against till something readable came out).
Second Note: these steps do apply specifically to the template I posted. This is the template I use to save time when typesetting, as it already has all the Paragraph and Character Styles and text boxes and margins I've made in previous works.
Warning: wall of text below the break!
Part 1
Importing your text into Affinity.
First things first, this step all depends on where you are getting your text from. If you are typesetting something from Project Gutenburg or a similar site, copy and paste the text into Google Docs. If you are typesetting from AO3 or a similar site, download an html file of the text, then copy and paste that into Google Docs.
Once in Google Docs, download the file as Rich Text Format (.rtf). Open the .rtf, and copy and paste that into the Affinity Template. Just stick it into any of the body pages on page 9 or up. It'll 'flow' automatically to fill the pages.
Whew. Okay. Now, you can actually work on your text in the template.
Document size (optional).
So the template I made is for half letter (letter folio). Letter is the size of the page I would be printing on, and folio is the imposition (which means if I was making it into a physical book, I would fold that page in half. Folio = the page is in halves. Quarto = page is in quarters. Octavo = page is in eighths etc.). You want your document size to be the size of one single page in your book.
- Now, again, the template I have is all set up for a single page size equal to half letter. If you want to change the size, you can go to File -> Document Setup -> Dimensions. If you change the size, you will have to go in and change the text boxes and margins I have left in the template to fit your new dimensions.
How to Auto Flow your text.
You will notice that the template only has 50 pages. Chances are, you can't see all your text. To get it to automatically appear, just hold down Shift and click the red triangle on the right of one of the text boxes with your body text in it. It should automatically generate the pages you need with your text.
- If you need to manually get your text to flow from one text box to another, just click the little triangle on the right of the text box your text starts in, and then click the text box you want it to flow into.
Bonus:
To make a text box, click the image of the T in the white square on the left, and draw it on the page. This is the Frame Text Tool, or the text box maker,
To add a picture, click the rectangle with an X through it. This is the Picture Frame Rectangle. Draw a frame, then go to File -> Place, and add your image.
Your text is in the template. Time to get it dressed.
Okay, now you need to set up your Text Styles. Text Styles should be located on the right hand tool bar. Text Styles are essentially how you tell Affinity how you want the different parts of text to look like. You can change your fonts, spacing, justification, etc, by playing around in the settings of a Text Style (to do so, just click the three lines next to the text style's name, or create a new one by clicking one of the + symbols at the bottom of the Text Style tool bar.
Now, there are two types of Text Styles: Paragraph Styles (have the backwards 'P' looking symbol) and Character Styles (have the underlined 'a' symbol). Think of these like jackets and shirts for your text to where. The Paragraph Styles go on over the Character Styles, but you can still see the Character Styles underneath.
- First thing to do is go to Find and Replace. It should be next to the left hand tool bar.
- Click the cog to the right of 'Find'. Then click 'Format'. This should bring up the screen below.
- Click the box next to Italics so it turns into a check mark. Now hit Ok. This will now allow you to find all Italics in your text.
- When you find the Italics, you can now Replace them. Hit the cog next to 'Replace with'. Click Character Style. Click Emphasis.
-Find and Replace all.
This will save all your Italics while you work on the text. Note, do NOT select all your text and use a Character Style on it. It will override and remove your Italics. You can only have one Character Style and one Paragraph Style applied to specific text. Because of this, I don't really use any Body Character Styles, and make all my changes usually in Paragraph Styles.
Part 2
Chapter Headings.
Find and Replace is one your best friends in Affinity. After I have Italics saved, I do the Chapter Headings in the text next. I Find and Replace the Chapter Headings if I can, or manually select them. Then I apply the Chapter Character Style to them. Now, if I ever want to change them en mass, I can just Find them using that Character Style to apply a new Paragraph Style or whatever I want to them.
Body Text.
Now is the time to finally use a Paragraph Style. I select my text, and apply the Paragraph Style labeled Body to it. While I have it selected, I can change my font type, size, and leading to whatever I want. If I change leading, I do have to go in and edit the Paragraph Styles to have the same leading across all of them. The template is setup for 11 pt font and 140% leading.
- To change leading in a Paragraph Style, click the three lines to the right of the Style -> Edit 'Name' -> Spacing -> Leading.
- If you change font size/leading, you will need to change the Baseline Grid. Baseline Grid is the underlying grid that your text will snap to (you can disable this in a Paragraph Style, but I like to use Baseline Grid to make sure the Body Text is all lined up the same). To change Baseline Grid, click the button in the top middle of Affinity that looks like an A with blue lines behind it. Then go to Grid Spacing. I usually set it to whatever is my body text leading equal to.
Back to Chapter Headings.
At this point, I usually use Find and Replace again, and Find the Chapter Headings with their Character Style. I use Replace to apply the Paragraph Style 'Chapter Heading' to them.
Other Styles.
Okay, so Chapter Headings are set. Body text are set. But there's still text that need different formats, like where there's a body divider/dinkus, or the start of a chapter where there's no indent. From here, I manually go through the text, and start setting the little things that weren't covered by the Body or Chapter Heading styles. I use Body No Indent Drop Cap (Paragraph Style) for the first paragraph of each chapter. I use Body Divider (Paragraph Style) wherever there's a section break. I use Body No Ident (Paragraph Style) wherever there's a new paragraph after a section break. And I use Body Special as needed, if there's unique bits of text in the work, like letters, or poems, or songs, to make them stand out more.
- This part of typesetting is a lot of me just going through manually, while scrolling through and checking the original text I am typesetting to see if there's any places that need special attention or different paragraph styles. Lot of side by side scrolling and comparing how the original author/publisher had the fic looking, and making sure my typeset matches in a way that I like.
More on Body Dividers.
You can check out my book of dinkuses for potential fonts for section breaks/dividers.
Once I find the dinkus I like, I copy and paste it into my text, or use find and replace. Just make sure that the Body Divider Paragraph Style is applied to whatever you put.
- Now, you may need to adjust the dinkus because it's not centered or spaced how you like. To do this, click the three lines to the right of Body Divider under the Text Styles tab on right hand side of your screen. This brings up the Text Style Editor Box (see the picture below).
- To get the divider looking how I want, I go to Paragraph and then adjust the Leading, Space Before, and Space After until the Body Divider looks how I want. Sometimes you might want a section break with a lot of space, sometimes you might want it narrower. This is the place to do it.
Part 3
Next step: Working in Master Pages.
Master Pages are great. You can apply them to your text to make your text look uniform. Whatever the Master Page is, the other pages must follow.
-To apply a Master Page, right click the page you want on the left sidebar under Pages. Then click apply Apply Master. Then choose what Master to apply. The body text pages all have the Master Body text applied to them already, but you may need to change one because it's the start of a new Chapter.
-If you want different margins in your text, this is where to do it. I have mine set up for .8 outer and inner margins, and slightly narrower on the top and bottom margins to account for leading. If you want to change this, just drag the text box to whatever size you want to fit your margins.
Headers/Footers.
In the Master Page titled Master Body, you can change the placements and formats of the headers/footers. I usually just have these all centered, but you can put them and size them however you like here, and it will apply to all the main body pages of your text.
- The template is setup so you can just fill in your title name and author name in the header locations of the Master Body pages. Click the text boxes and type in whatever you want. If you don't want to use these, you can delete them on the Master Pages, and they won't show up at all.
Master Chapter Heading.
The Master Chapter Heading pages are not applied to the text. In the template, you will see that page 9 does not have the Master Body applied to it. This is because I like to play around with different text box sizes and chapter heading designs here, then copy and paste them into the Master Chapter Heading when I have one I like. Then, I can just apply the Master Chapter Heading to wherever there is the start of a new chapter.
Part 4
How to add a Table of Contents.
Okay, once all the Chapter Headings are formatted and everything is on the page they should be on, you can put in a table of contents. To add a table of contents, put a text box down wherever you'd like your table of contents to be located. This is usually on page 7 of the template for me, but it may be different for you based on your text or how you do your front matter.
- Click in that text box. Then, click Text (on top of your Affinity Screen, towards the left). Go to Table of Contents. Then Insert Table of Contents.
- See the picture below. Your screen should look similar to this.
- On the left, you can see we are in the Table of Contents tab now. Under Style Name, check the one that says Chapter Heading. Now, everything that had the Paragraph Style Chapter Heading will be in our Table of Contents.
- Click the three lines to the right of where we checked Chapter Heading. You can then check Include Page Numbers here.
Part 5
Alright! Now we have pretty much everything done. Almost.
There's just the front matter to do now. These parts are pretty much just pasting/typing in your information. The front matter in the template I made is set up for Project Gutenburg public domain stuff. When I typeset things from AO3, I put the stats here instead.
Front matter. What is it exactly.
The front matter included in the template is as follows: bastard title page (just the name of the book), blank page, full title page (title and author; you can include publication/imprint info here as well), copyright page, book bound by page (this is not an official thing, just something I decided to add to my templates since mine as free to use), blank page, table of contents. Sometimes a text has a preface or dedication. You can add these pages to the front matter, and if you need more pages to add them, just right click on the left hand side under Pages wherever you would like the new pages to go, then click Add Pages. I use Master A for front matter pages. These are just plain, blank pages with nothing on them.
Title Pages.
Title pages. You can pretty much do whatever you want here. I've posted links before to places you get free to use images/art, but you don't need to include any images/art at all. It's all totally optional, I just like to have a bit of fun on my title pages and put in little extra bits.
Anyway, hope this helps and I didn't ramble tooooo much (this started as a short post to just talk about how to import text). If you're looking for more detailed help, I do recommend joining the Renegade Binder discord. I learned how to use Affinity Publisher from someone's tutorial there. I can also try to make more posts in the future further explaining things.
well maybe you should blearily wake up at 5:08 in the pre-dawn light and find the sleeping soft tiny mammal body of your cat just inches from your head like a miracle too beautiful for speech, and you should rustle one hand out from your blankets to rub fingertip circles across the warm eggshell dome of her little velvet-wrapped skull and on the bristly patches just where the cups of her ears begin, and as she inclines her head into your fingers and purrs without ever opening her little eyes you should feel a love so tender that you understand how that love could have reached out from the fireside into the inky spangled nights long gone to reach her, and then you'll feel better
A group of far-future linguists and archeologists suddenly *poof* into existence in front of me. One is holding a tablet. "What is the difference between 'red sauce' and 'tomato sauce?'" they ask me. "The distinction is not clear in extant texts from this time and place."
"Uh, they're the same thing," I tell them. "Who are you?"
"Yes!" the being with the tablet exclaims.
One of the other researchers groans. "No! My thesis...months of writing wasted..." One of the others comforts them.
"Now, what is this object for?" The first researcher holds up a discolored, dinged-up plastic object. It's clearly been buried in the ground for quite some time, but the two holes and the scuffed plastic window are distinctive.
"That's a cassette tape. You record music with it."
"Interesting, interesting." The being enters something on the tablet.
"How are you speaking English?"
"Sophisticated translation technology," one of the researchers confides. "We are students of your society. From the future."
"What does this pictogram represent?" The researcher with the tablet turns it around so that the screen faces me.
It's the eggplant emoji.
"Sex," I say. "Why do you need to ask me this if you can time travel or whatever? Can't you just go wherever you want to go and look around and see how these things are being used?"
The beings shift guiltily and look at each other. "Technically, travel to times and places prior the advent of time travel is strictly prohibited. Paradoxes, you know."
"Oh."
"We must be get back before our advisor returns to the lab. Just don't tell anyone you saw us, alright? The space-time continuity depends on it. Can you do that?"
"Uh, sure, I guess?"
One of them pats me on the head. "And don't go to Mars."
"Okay. Wait, why? Is it dangerous?"
"No. Just not worth it."
The group disappears in a shimmering light.
The cassette clatters to the sidewalk behind them.
Out of befuddlement, mainly, I pick it up. It's clearly old, discolored and scuffed, but it still has tape in it.
I carry the tape around in my pocket for a while. The curiosity builds. I want to know what's on that tape. I don't have a cassette player anymore, so I go to Goodwill and pick up the first one I can find, praying that it still works. I plug it in. It turns on.
I slide the tape inside. It's dirty, but it still seems to be in decent shape. I snap the player closed and hit play. The wheels begin to turn. I hold my breath.
A familiar tune starts up. A wobbly voice comes out of the machine.
Why did need God to intervene if they could’ve written a new book of life like Aziraphale started doing with the blank book? Crowley and Aziraphale could have written a new universe and continued to watch over it as the ONLY angel and demon.
I just think that the versions with all the trauma, suffering and history deserved a happy ending. I don’t think the take away should be that the only way to get a happy ending is for those things to have never happened to you.
I really thought that Aziraphale and Crowley were going to rewrite the Book of Life.
I really thought they were going to become the Illustrator and Author.
I really thought that's why all the books in the shop were made blank.
I really thought God wasn't going to actually exist in a true form, and instead be a kind of omnipresent power of creation.
I really thought that they were going to have their forced-proximity-making-up-with-each-other as they were required to work together to write the new Book of Life.
I really thought that they were going to choose *their* humanity and not a new one.
I really thought they would still be themselves at the end.
I really thought the moral of the story was that the humanity they had was worth protecting, and that life itself (whether mortal or otherwise) was beautiful and inherently important.
I really thought this story was about a love that transcends.
I understand the path they took. However. I do think it missed the mark on what the show was really trying to say.
The destruction of the entire universe and every soul in it is a truly depressing ending. Just because God replaced it with another universe that looked similar doesn't change anything - this is Job and his children all over again. Job doesn't want new children, and neither do I.
