There's So Much Wrong With Me

→ if you can't blow them away with your brilliance, baffle them with your bullshit ←

[your-instructions-from-moscow]

if you’re reading this, it’s too late

I already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. there’s nothing you can do to stop them

[everystarstorm]

This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

[musictomax]

All Time Low - Weightless

[poppunky-blog]

[longlostlorian]

My parents got me this Trump doll as a gag gift over a decade ago when we were fans of the Apprentice.

Fun Super Tuesday activity: For every ten notes I’ll stick a pin in him until I’m out of pins. Don’t let me down America

[longlostlorian]

Seems like Donald will wake up tomorrow with “stabbing” shoulder pains…

[longlostlorian]

Right in the heart. That one went in easy. Like there was already a hollow space there.

Now in the stomach, like how I can’t stomach his fuckin bullshit

[longlostlorian]

Let’s see you try to “pin” this on Mexican kidney thieves

[longlostlorian]

Hearing no evil is hard when you’re Donald Trump and your mouth is a direct spigot from Hell’s pipeline of villainy

[longlostlorian]

I believe we’ve pinpointed the source of his hot air.

Donald Trump is the arch-nemesis of liberty.

Woops, sorry about that D, looks as though I cut off your freedom of choice over your reproductive decisions

OK - I can’t keep up with the demand, and I’m running out of jokes and pins, so let’s skip to the good stuff. The inevitable conclusion where he’s just absolutely covered in pins.

This Donald is sure not having a Super Tuesday! :)

~~ Stretch goals ~~

800 notes - attacked by vicious alligator

1,500 notes - confronted with flagrant multiculturalism

2,000 notes - sent directly back to hell

[longlostlorian]

Reached our first stretch goal… attacked by not one, but six vicious alligators. Don’t say I never gave you anything nice.

[holyhoe]

[baetology]

[terezasuniverse]

You can’t spend the best years of your life waiting for somebody to love you back.

8pm thoughts (via unisex)

[flowerfae]

wait… if you have social anxiety… and i have social anxiety…

then who’s going to order the food?

[just-shower-thoughts]

Marsupials got it right. Its better to give birth to a small embryo and carry it in a pouch, than to explode with a baby.

[mgreywood-deactivated20200524]

Everyone wants love. Everyone needs love. But does everyone deserve love?

I think so, but I’ve been wrong before- © Michael Greywood Poetry-2016 (via mgreywood)

[skellydun]

was there ever I time i wasn’t tired. I feel like I came out of the womb tired. maybe that’s why I was screaming because they woke me up.

[cardcaptorr]

me: *suddenly turns really cold* person: whats wrong :/ what happened me: nothin. just thinkin bout that time u hurt me 2 months ago on thursday at 2:36 pm. bye

[anghellrose-deactivated20180626]

It’s april fools day in a month and i just wanted to let all of my followers know i am a safe blog that will never post any screamers

[just-shower-thoughts]

What if Oxygen is a really potent hallucinogenic, and we’re all just tripping?

[nevershoutemmah]

me: *texting my mom that i love her and that i hope she has a great day*

some middle aged artist across the street: *sees that i'm on my phone and creates a whole art piece about how cell phones are sucking the souls out of people and are the root of all evil*

[goalsmami]

if my son cheats on his girlfriend ima smack the shit out of him and send the girl a sephora giftcard.

[pennyroyalprincess-deactivated2]

out his pocket money / wages.

[aodeathbat]

IMMA CREAT MY OWN ASK SHIT

1. What will you be doing in an hour? 2. Ever had sex? 3. How many people currently do you want to punch in the face? 4. Who do you miss the most right now? 5. How and when did you meet your best friend? 6. Least favorite song in the world? 7. Least favorite song by your favorite musician? 8. Where are you right now? 9. What do you hear in the background? 10. Last time seen a band live? 11. Someone you want to be with right now? 12. How did you celebrate your last birthday? 13. Do you prefer ass or boobs? 14. Favorite animal? 15. Favorite musician who died? 16. Indoors or outdoors? 17. What will you do if you right now in your age get pregnant (or got someone pregnant)? 18. Do you wear makeup on a daily basis? 19. Favorite joke? 20. Last person who called you? 21. Last person to send you a text? 22. Last person you sent a text to? 23. How easily do you fall in love? 24. How much money do you have in your wallet? 25. Are you on your phone or computer? 26. Last person you talk to face to face? 27. Last song you listened to? 28. If you could have any superpower, which one would you have? 29. Favorite tv show? 30. How bored are you right now that you’re answering this shit? 31. Country you want to visit in? 32. Ever left your home country? 33. Favorite guitar solo ever? 34. Something good you remember from your childhood? 35. Ever wanted to kill yourself? 36. If yes, what saved your life? 37. What kind of house you want to live in? Describe the whole fucking thing. 38. Weirdest thing that has happened to you today? 39. What do you watch on YouTube when you do? 40. Tell a funny story that has happened to you. About whatever you want. 41. Tell a romantic story that has happened to you. 42. Do you like babies? 43. What big difference do you think will happen to you in one year? 44. What’s your blog about? 45. Do you have a piece of jewelry that you never take off? 46. Do you like your name? 47. What would people that doesn’t know your name, call you if they want your attention? 48. Tell an awkward story that happened to you. 49. Are you more of a jock/rebel/nerd? 50. Congratulations, someone asked you shit and you answered it. Kinda sad that it’s probably that biggest part of your day ha?