she’s so quiet as she approaches him that it doesn’t REGISTER with him for a few minutes . taking in the newborns has both made him tense && reserved but a small space left open for bree that she had managed to squeeze herself through - but right now , all his tension was redirected towards … towards bella . && himself . his head lifted only slightly as she sat next to him , staring out into the wilderness the balcony OFFERED them , they spoke a few words here && there before bree got it .
the thoughts had been turning in his head ever since he heard the story from edward about how bella had been able to deflect not feeding on those hill climbers . had he been deluded his whole life in thinking newborn madness was a thing ? he had never seen the others in their first year . were they all as controlled as bella ? was newborn MADNESS even a thing ? or was it a product of the wars ?
fuck what if it was JUST him ? what if his emotions had caused the fights within the newborn army ? what if they were all controlled && it was him that was to blame ? him alone with his hunger enhancing the ferocity ? jesus , what if it was ? what did that mean ? would it be better if he left ? better if he DISAPPEARED && left this peaceful family alone away from all his limitations && hunger .
it was all that was going through his head && perhaps , he had let slip to bree what he was thinking , a sigh falling from him as he stared out in front of him . “ there MUST be . ” he mused softly . “ one-hundred && fifty years && i’ve never been able to control anything as well as her . ” he felt his jaw clench slightly . “ there must be somethin’ wrong with me . i thought i was gettin’ better && good at this - what if i’m DOOMED to this because i am weak ? ” he turned to look at her . “ one hundred && fifty years bree . there must be somethin’ wrong with me . ”
“there is NOTHING wrong with you.” bree almost felt like telling him he was supposed to be the smartest brother, but registered quickly that this didn’t call for any lightening mood- it was serious. this was serious, because jasper was hurt, because he was thinking he was lesser when he wasn’t. in the few months bree had been with the family she had decided jasper was one of their strongest, and not by the same standards that could be said of any physical strength. he carried the weight and burden of all their emotions every single day, as well as their thirst, and still made his way through to survive every passing hour. bree didn’t know what she could say to persuade him he was wrong, but she wanted to try. “i was in a newborn army, too. it wasn’t different than what you described. we were all crazy most of the time,” even bree, though not nearly as often as the others, sometimes found herself at the mercy of her own blood lust. even fred, even diego, and riley too, no matter how much he tried to act like their never-do-wrong leader. and sometimes, bree found the lust nagging at her still even when she looked calm on the surface.
she looked up at him, at her oldest brother, debating her next choice of words... but it had to be said, because it was also the truest point: “bella’s just... weird.” ever the observer, it was one of the most notable things about the vampire joining their family which was just as true even when she was human. bella’s mind couldn’t be read, her scent had called to each of them like a lure more than others of her past kind, and she seemed exempt from the same circumstances that had applied to nearly each of them in their newborn stages with exception to their father and jasper’s twin. bree rubbed at her arm. “besides, didn’t you say she was almost turned once, with venom and everything?”
discoholicmusic
turnnoffyourmind
jacobvanloon
2087
ellievsbear
andulkaphoto
izzy806
