Jules of Nature

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Show & Tell
Sweet Seals For You, Always
YOU ARE THE REASON
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
occasionally subtle
trying on a metaphor

Andulka

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

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todays bird
NASA
Stranger Things
Cosimo Galluzzi

if i look back, i am lost
AnasAbdin
styofa doing anything
Keni

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from Türkiye

seen from Malaysia
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
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seen from India
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@nica300
why????
Chapters: 6/? Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Death & Harry Potter, Gellert Grindelwald & Harry Potter, Luna Lovegood & Harry Potter, Neville Longbottom/Luna Lovegood, Hermione Granger & Harry Potter & Ron Weasley Characters: Harry Potter, Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Gellert Grindelwald, Draco Malfoy, Luna Lovegood, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, other hp characters are here too but not as important, and i'm too lazy to tag them all sue me Additional Tags: Master of Death Harry Potter, Golden Trio | Hermione Granger & Harry Potter & Ron Weasley Friendship, BAMF Harry Potter, Dimension Travel, Minister for Magic Tom Riddle, Consort Harry Potter, Dark Harry Potter, Anti-Muggle Content, Harry Hates Muggles, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Magically Powerful Harry Potter, Cheating, No Beta We Die Like Harry's Childhood, NO MPREG SORRY NOT SORRY, Enemies to Lovers, no gellert/harry sorry, Amortentia Potion (Harry Potter), Tags might contain spoilers not sure but just a warning, well i suppose it's too late now that you have read them all but whatever, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Horcruxes, Harry Potter is Not a Horcrux, not anymore at least Series: Part 2 of The Consort Chronicles Summary:
"Harry Potter transmigrates into the body of a Harry from another world who is married to Marvolo Slytherin, leader of Britain and who is being unfaithful with Draco Malfoy. But no one knows that the Forgotten Consort has his own plans." Inspired by Jacky_Of_All_Trades's "The Forgotten Consort" It may be helpful to read that first before starting this story.
JUNE 2025 - ON HIATUS
I love this story
my god
“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”
not even risking that shit
scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button.
She ain’t no games in real life so I take her serious all the time
Anyone with a name that starts with a “Z”, ends with an “i”, and isn’t some kind of Italian pasta, IS SERIOUS
I’m not climbing no mountain with a pig on my back, 🙅🏽🙅🏾🙅🏿 Negative.
Nope. I know better, have your reblog Madame Zeroni.
who the fuck is Madame Zeroni
Look at these stupid children who don’t know who Madame Zeroni is
Man lissen if you don’t know you better ask somebody AFTER you hit the reblog button
Idk who she is but I have an exam today so I’ll reblog her
idk who she is but i have an exam today so i’ll reblog her
^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!
Because wise, I am.
Oh fucks no she’s back lmao must reblog. I’m sorry guys
2 million people aren’t wrong
Shit fuck I’m not taking any chances I’m reblogging
Not taking the chance, not when we have a Referendum in my country. Hell nah.
Dick was received — quite rudely in his opinion — by a shout of glee coming from the inside of the manor, his hand hovering uncertain over the handle of the front door while a trail of effusive but muffled 'thank you' and 'I will come back soon' followed in rapid succession in a woman's voice.
Suddenly the heavy front door opened and a blond woman in a large coat came barreling to the outside, almost falling into Dick before apologising and running to her parked car.
He blinked at her retreating form and then at the hour in his phone screen.
8:45 am
Too early for whatever "funny business" Bruce had been doing at the Manor last night.
He buried his face in his hands with a low groan; pondering if he should go inside and apologise to Bruce for what he said during their last month fight, even if it was going to be a shit apology and only given half-heartedly, or return to his house in Bludhaven and forget that the fight had occurred in its entirety.
"Dick-"
"It's always the same with you Bruce! Why can't you trust me?!"
"You keep putting civilians and yourself in danger Dick! That plan was risky and you knew it"
"I would have pulled it off if you could just believe in me!"
"I believe-"
"Don't lie to me Bruce"
"Son-"
"Don't call me son! I'm not your son and you're not my father!"
Another clash from inside made him sigh.
'Bruce better be in a good mood' he thought bitterly.
With no other option Dick pushed the heavy door open again, walking past the entrance towards the kitchen, where the majority of the noise was coming from.
Clank!
"Bruce what the fuck are you-" he growled walking inside the room but suddenly a little voice shushed him.
"He said a bad word Mr Wayne!"
Any trace of tireness quickly evaporated from his body and Dick eyes snapped open to attention at the unknown voice, his hand instinctively going for the batarang he always kept on himself in case he was not in his hero uniform.
He searched frantically around the kitchen for the intruder but a sharp "hey!" made him look down; blue eyes meeting with a pair of green ones; his mouth opening and closing in disbelief at the sight of a girl no older than 8 standing in front of him with her little arms crossed and a frown on her face.
As if he was the one not supposed to be there.
"Who are you-" he started but was quickly interrupted by Bruce himself, who had entered the kitchen carrying two backpacks on his shoulder and a little boy on his hip.
Bruce eyes trailed naturally towards the other figure in the kitchen, pausing momentarily on his steps before resuming his walk "oh Dick, I was not expecting you here in Gotham" if he was surprised he didn't show it, face as placid as always while letting go of the backpacks and placing a bag full of toys over the counter, "I'm busy today so whatever it is can maybe wait?" He finally looked up, a raised eyebrow expecting his answer.
Dick couldn't even argue the clear send-off, pointing like an idiot to the girl and looking at the older man like a deer in headlights.
Bruce had the guts to laugh at him.
"Ah yes, let me present you, this is Abigail" the little girl threw a last glare towards Dick before hoping to Bruce's side, preening when he passed a hand through her curls and clinging onto the man's dress trousers, "and this boy from here is Theo, say hi Theo" he said softly to the kid in his arms, a tiny thing that looked more like a baby than a kid, with the same blond curls as the girl — his sister Dick guessed — but with brown eyes instead of green.
"Gah" Theo said, shaking a saliva covered hand in the air before it latched to Bruce's previously pristine shirt, now covered by spit and... glitter?
"Bruce what-" Dick almost groaned when he was cut off again.
The girl- Abigail, pulled Bruce's free hand to catch his attention, "Mr Wayne do you have my colours?" She pouted.
Bruce smiled at her, ignoring completely what Dick was going to say and instead taking the bright yellow backpack and offering it to the little girl, "of course here you go, you can go to the living room to draw if you want, there're some cookies also so call me when you're hungry" he laughed merrily at the way Abigail's whole face lit up.
"Yes Mr. Wayne!" She shouted before scurrying throughout one of the doors, her tiny steps echoing in the hallway that led to the common area of the house.
"Call me Bruce!" he shouted behind her, watching intensively that she wouldn't trip with the carpet on her way.
Meanwhile Dick had been watching all the interaction with a dumbfounded expression.
Noticing for the first time how Bruce looked... radiant, in his element, there was no other way to describe it, a glow he hadn't possessed in a long time coating his face and making him look his age for once, the lines beside his eyes crinkling with how hard he was smiling.
"Eh Bruce?" Dick voice seemed to bring the man back to reality, who rubbed his neck sheepishly at his son's look, the smile still firmly on his lips.
"They're the kids of a friend, she had to go for a conference in Metropolis and can't take kids with her so she asked me to look after them" the baby gurgled something before letting out a soft whine, which made both men attention fall into him.
Bruce cooed at the teary eyes, "ow are you hungry? Let me see what your Mom has left for you sweetie" Dick blinked at the name, rubbing his eyes at the sight of Bruce Wayne, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, and The Batman, making a bottle for a baby as if it was second nature.
"Couldn't she leave them with a babysitter?" He asked while Bruce worked, leaning against the counter and rummaging uninterested in the bag of toys.
'Since when does Bruce has toy cars and dolls?"
The older man scoffed slightly, "at this hour? It was a last minute meeting so she couldn't find anyone else" he said while spilling a few drops on the back of his hand to check the temperature.
After some seconds of silence Dick talked again.
"And are you sure that you can deal with two kids Bruce? Kids are not exactly patient-wise" he tried to warn, already picturing the explosive mix of crying kids and an stressed Bruce.
"I can Dick, but thanks for worrying" the man said without turning back, little Theo perched over his shoulder comfortably and looking at Dick with an incredible amount of contempt for a baby.
The sight somehow made his stomach churn.
'I'm jealous of a baby?' Dick huffed annoyed, passing a hand through his hair, "I'm more worried about the kids B, you have not taken care of a kid since Damian arrived, and that still was short-lived and half-assed" he knew it sounded rude but it was true, Bruce tended to fumble every relationship he had, even the one with his own kids, all because of his mistrust and emotional constipation, treating his kids as if they were strangers.
'How did he convince someone to let him alone with their kids?'
However Bruce turned to look at him with a confused frown, "I already babysitted Abigail and Theo before Dick, and other kids" he said slowly, as if it was common knowledge.
And it may have been, but Dick and his siblings had long disappeared from Bruce's life, only coming to the manor for missions and the occasional news station or post updating them on their father's life.
That didn't stop him from being surprised.
"What"
"It seems I have turned into a glorified nanny for the rich people, not that I'm complaining" he winked at that before taking the bottle and walking towards the living room, Dick following shortly behind.
"What do you mean you babysit kids in your free time?"
Bruce looked at him from over his shoulder before shrugging, "you kids were all out and the manor is too big for me alone, so I offered to babysit once for the Johnsons, then the Henry's asked and suddenly there was not weekend that I had not a kid running through the manor" they entered to the living room to the sight of a very excited Abigail singing along to My Little Pony.
"Bruce! Bruce!" She jumped from the couch and ran to him, almost crashing into his legs.
"Yes princess?" The nickname came naturally from Bruce's mouth, making Dick almost choke with his spit.
'Cass is going to die if she hears this'.
"We have to dress as ponies next week! Mom says she will leave for Paris and that I can stay with you all weekend" she made a wide gesture with her arms, giggling maniacally at the prospect.
Bruce laughed with her, sitting on the couch to feed Theo while a very hyperactive Abigail climbed over him like a tower, "then I think we should make a picnic in the garden right? The rose maze next to the pond is a fit place for a pony" he flicked her nose which made her laugh.
"Yeah!"
Dick continued to stand awkwardly at the doorway of the common room, watching Bruce act all domestic and picture perfect Dad for those two kids, smiling like he had never done with them.
A strange thing started to brew in his chest, trying to claw its way out from his throat to start all again another shouting match.
"Who is he? He said a bad word before" Dick looked at Abigail, who was watching him with curiosity.
Bruce turned and for a moment Dick felt like an intruder in his own home can he still call it home?, his blue eyes warning him to not start a fight in front of Abigail and Theo.
"He's Richard, my ward" 'my son' was not said.
He asked for it after all.
And it shouldn't had hurt so much.
Some douchebag influencer decides to challenge one of the Waynes to an MMA fight, and he goes with Tim.
Big public announcement, making a big deal of it, mockingly suggesting the Waynes can donate the proceeds to charity, so long as Tim gets in the ring with him, and people are like, Tim? Tim Drake-Wayne, smallest of Bruce Wayne's kids, so baby-faced he looks like a high-schooler even in his early twenties Tim? And there's a huge kerfuffle, people calling the influencer out for going after someone way smaller than him, being a coward by not picking Bruce Wayne or even Dick Grayson, and people egging him on to beat up Bruce's 'girliest' kid and betting Tim will back down and "Daddy Wayne will just bring out the lawyers".
And then Tim says "yeah sure". And yes he DOES set it up so that the proceeds will go to the Neon Knights program, thank you very much, and he doesn't really hype up the fight or seem that worried about it online, and the influencer is talking constant shit and posting videos of him training to get ready to "beat little Timmy's ass", and he keeps trying to goad Tim online but the most he gets in response is Tim going "k".
The day of the fight, the venue is packed, the whole Wayne clan is there to cheer Tim on, medics are on stand-by for when Tim gets badly hurt, and everyone is So Ready for This. And the influencer is a big guy who's in shape, and he's won a few fights already, and Tim looks itty bitty next to him, but also he's a lot more fit than people were expecting? Like he's got more scars than people expected (which was zero) and he's got good muscle tone, and he squares up like an actual fighter, but he's still way smaller than the other guy.
Then the bell rings and Tim wipes the fucking floor with the influencer. He's fast and ruthless, and the influencer gets maybe two hits in before Tim is in his space and climbing him, locking his legs around the guy's neck and throwing him to the ground with his momentum. The fight is fast, which people expected, but it's because Tim hammers the guy and takes him down before he knows what's happening, which people did NOT expect.
Afterwards, people are trying to break down the fight and figure out what the FUCK happened, and one retired MMA fighter admits he pretty much knew it was going to turn out like this.
"Bullshit," the other commentator goes. "Bullshit! How could you have possibly known that Bruce Wayne's kid was a fighter like that?"
"One," the guy says, grinning, "the kid's a Gotham native. Gotham natives fight tooth and nail, even the richer ones. Two, he's said before in interviews that he took self-defense classes as a kid."
"Oh bullshit, plenty of kids take karate classes growing up-"
"Yeah, but 'plenty of kids' don't have a non-meta kid sidekick running around their city. You know how Star City has some of the best youth archery classes in the country? And how that came about after Speedy came on the scene?"
"Oh my god," the other commentator mutters. "Drake's a fucking Robin fanboy, isn't he."
The retired fighter grins wider. "Is he ever. So he's been taking self-defense and martial arts classes from a young age. Then he got taken in by Bruce Wayne, who's first son was raised as a world-class acrobat before Wayne took him in, and since then he's become an Olympic gold medalist for gymnastics, and now he's Tim's big brother.
"And the piece de resistance," the fighter says gleefully, "head of Wayne Enterprises R&D and close personal friend of Bruce Wayne is Lucius Fox, who's daughter briefly dated Tim and who's oldest son is Luke motherfuckin' Fox, one of the best MMA fighters I've ever seen."
"Oh my god," the other man repeats.
"So on top of learning martial arts for years, that's two people directly in Tim's circle who are top-tier athletes, who I'm damn sure wouldn't have let him in that ring without knowing how to handle his shit."
"...So Brad's lucky he made it out of that ring with all his bones intact."
"Damn lucky, even."
I fuck so hard with this idea
Tim gets excited and starts talking like a speedrunner, talking about strats to bring his time down and approaching the fight as efficiently as possible. people start memeing the guy's face at Tim's response, like zooming in on his expression and turning everything to grayscale and playing "hello darkness my old friend"
Brad the influencer won’t take this “insult” lying down. He has to recover his “high class alpha” reputation some how.
And what better way to prove how “tough” he is by challenging Bruce Wayne’s “retarded chink of a daughter” and put her in her place for being a non-white, non-male, openly bisexual and wealthier than Brad could ever dream.
It does not end well, especially after he called Steph “that freak of natures leftovers”
Brad says that horrible shit and gets a response he didn't expect. Bruce Wayne wants to fight him. Brad thinks he's hit a gold mine. Bruce Wayne? Super Nepo Baby? Born with a golden spoon in his mouth? This is PERFECT.
Not only is Bruce the biggest member of the family, He's a tall, pretty, broad shouldered man. Brad thinks that Bruce's pampered ass would be the easiest fight. He thinks he might even take it a little easy on Bruce because if he starts crying too soon it'll make Brad look bad.
Brad thinks that beating Bruce would be the best thing for his reputation. He's not fighting a tiny twink or a ballerina, he's fighting another 'Alpha-Male™'.
Bruce meanwhile, nearly had heart palpitations when he saw the look on Cassandra's face. Challenging Brad 'for his daughters honor' was his only option, because if Cass broke all of Brad's arms, legs, jaw and nuts in a thirty second time frame? That would seriously affect her honor. This was the literal 1 way Bruce could stop Brad from being mutilated.
However, how the fuck is Bruce going to keep his cover as the big dumb golden retriever of gotham? Simple, Bruce is going to be a complete clown in this fight.
Brad walks into the octagon with so much smug confidence that it's radiating off of him like a cloud. And then when the announcer calls in Bruce? BAM! Pyrotechnics that nobody realized were there blasting out gold and silver sparks. The loudest, most annoying possible theme music Bruce could commission. And out from the back struts Bruce Wayne.
Jaws drop, people are dumbfounded. Bruce isn't dressed for MMA, he's wearing a gold Ninja Turtles headband over his eyes. He's wearing rhinestone bedazzled white and gold shorts, with 'Taste The Wayne!' Across his ass in cursive. He's not just flanked by his kids, but the DC equivalent of The Undertaker and Cody Rhodes The American Nightmare. He's got a massive gold and diamond studded championship belt he had created just for the night.
Bruce steps into the ring with microphone nobody gave him, spouting off the dumbest wrestling promo anyone has ever heard with highlights including 'sending you home with a new butt, because I'm taking your ass to the cleaners,' and 'you'll never wrestle in this city again, take your stupid curly hair and weak chin back to Metropolis!'
And oh god, people get it now. Bruce Wayne thinks wrestling is real. Bruce is still buff, people know this, Bruce Wayne makes magazine covers whenever he does a sport with his kids, like rock climbing and bouldering or horseback riding. Everyone knows Bruce loves being buff and beautiful. But suddenly everyone in the audience is worried that Bruce is about to die when he looks so confused that he has to take off his little mask and wear a mouth guard.
And then the match officially starts and, What the fuck? Did Bruce Wayne just suplex Brad? Is that allowed? Bruce manages to turn the whole fight into a complete laughing stock as he slips in under Brad's guard to constantly slam the influencer to the ground. Bruce will bounce off the mesh of the octagon to slam Brad with an RKO. Brad thinks he got Bruce from behind? Nope, Brads mouthguard is the only thing that stops the man from shattering all his teeth on Bruce's shoulder from a stonecold stunner.
Everyone in the audience thinks that this must have been a completely scripted show at this point with how badly Brad is getting thrown around. But no, Brad is exausted, his jaw hurts, his back is in agony from getting a triple suplex. Bruce dropped him on his head with a tombstone and his neck is killing him. He's battered to shit, by tomorrow he's going to be bruised to hell and he is regretting his life choices while Bruce is practically giggling in his ear the whole time.
Bruce almost gets disqualified when he hits Brad with a steel chair, but all that happens is that there is a pause as Brad gets some of his breath back, only to get beaten worse and worse by the giant man child.
The fight ends after Bruce gives the battered asshole a stinkface against one on the octagon's corners, the rhinestones across Bruce's ass feeling like sandpaper before finally Brad loses in an actual fucking pinfall, too exhausted and humiliated to stand up as Bruce prances around the ring.
Brad's reputation is gone, his macho persona was destroyed and the most famous picture of his for the rest of his life is his face getting crushed by Bruce Wayne's ass with the caption 'wish that was me' that gets posted everywhere online.
Batman Time Travel Thoughts
So, what if Thomas and Martha travel forward from the moment they are killed to the current time. They figure out pretty quick that something is up. They hid for a few weeks or longer. They access hidden money caches or buried bank accounts that are only passed on when the “heir” is an adult.
They died, so Bruce never found out about all these secret accounts. They observe and research Bruce and his family. They come to the conclusion that their death broke Bruce (true). And that as a result he is an adrenaline junkie himbo. He clearly doesn’t really have two brain cells to rub together.
They are aware he has kids, but have only been able to find info on Dick, Tim and Damian.
One day after observation is complete the rock up to the mansion. They use old codes to clear security. Thinking they are clear to drop in on Bruce, they continue to the front door.
Except, the use of those codes triggered alarms in the house and a silent lock down of the property. They are in… but they sure aren’t getting out.
They knock on the front door, which is answered by Stephanie. She’s dressed for an event, wearing some of Martha’s jewelry.
Martha and Thomas, offended by what they *think* is a gold digger make some ill advised commentary. Cass comes to see what is going on, and is treated to more of the same. They look At each other and immediately page Alfred.
Alfred arrives - he is obviously aware of who Thomas and Martha appear to be. Thomas makes another crack to the girls about “Run along, our son won’t be seeing you again once we talk to him.” Obviously the girls think this is a riot. There is a 0% chance of that happening.
Alfred raises an eyebrow, surprised at the uncouth manners of his former employees.
“Miss Cass, Miss Stephanie, please go tell the boys we’ll be delayed. Tell Maters Dick and Jason to come down when they are free. Then tell your Father to call Ms Prince to let her know there will be a delay. And Ask him to come to the parlor.”
Thomas and Martha hear the verbal bitch slap of the “your father” but are confused. They question Alfred as he leads them to wait. Quite a bit of questioning on what happened to Bruce? How did he turn out like this? Why is he wasting himself this way and doing nothing of substance to help the city? Much “discussion” of how the specter better and they need to talk to Bruce about doing more. He’s not doing his duty as Wayne.
Bruce, Dick and Jason of course hear all of this.
After this I am torn on how it goes. Does Bruce keep up the Brucie front with them? Does he come in and Bruce? I think there is no way he’d allow any alup to Batman.
The message to Bruce about Diana is to confirm Alfred thinks it is some version of Thomas and Martha and not a trick. And to call in back up. Dick and Jason are for support and distraction.
Anyway at some point Thomas and Martha meet all the kids. All of whom are VERY unimpressed with their attitude toward their father.
Eventually it culminates in Bruce having to snap to be Batman - while in Brucie or Bruce persona around them. Bruce starts snapping orders at freaking Superman and Green Lantern… and they listen. The cognitive dissonance would be alarming to say the least. Maybe Bruce was injured in an explosion? So not only is he no longer Mr Himbo, he’s bleeding and ignoring it. While pulling gadgets out of who knows where while coordinating the Justice League.
Thomas and Martha who have been clear in their disappointment this whole time are shook. Diana, who has been one of the few fully looped in, pulls them aside to fill them in on a few things.
Later they confront Alfred. Who tells them if thy were so set on disparaging their son without ever taking to him… well Alfred certainly wasn’t going to break Bruce’s confidence for people who had no qualms about badmouthing HIS son to his face. They are lucky he didn’t eject them from the grounds. It’s only Bruce that stoped that.
Soooo much opportunity for identity shenanigans, outsider POV and drama.
Alfred be like
He's got his money and she's got her drugs, so they're both happy.
I see plenty of people celebrating Lahan anime day - I hope this contributes a tad bit to that too.
cutieees
I love the idea that the 'Robin cackle' wasn't meant to be an intimidation technique at first. It's just deadass how Dick laughs.
Like, Dick just has an evil sounding laugh. And, well, admittedly he is also a bit psychopath-y for a kid. He is always laughing at weird shit. And crooks all nervous, tripping over themselves to get things done 'before the Bat appears' when the Bat is already there? Definitely too funny not to laugh!
So it's the dead of the night and everyone is trying to be quiet when this cruel sounding cackle comes out of no where and starts echoing off the walls, getting more and more spectral... It's the last thing everyone hears before Batman beats the shit out of them.
And thus the mythos of the Robin cackle is born.
Bruce doesn't really put a stop to it, one, because it does make one hell of an intimidation technique. And two, because, well, it's Dick's laugh. What's he supposed to do? Tell his kid not to be happy? It's not Dick's fault he sound like something out of The Shining .
So things are what they're are, time goes on. It's not until later that B realizes his mistake.
Thing is, people tend to copy other people's way of laughing. Especially those of family and friends.
Batman doesn't remember this silly little fact about human nature until he's at a meeting with the JL. Everyone is getting comfortable, and heroes are shuffling in calmly, and then Barry comes in at super speed, promptly slips on the recently polished floor, and sends his own ass flying. He crashes into Hal and they both slam into a window so hard they crack the reinforced glass.
And Bruce tries, he really tries. But what the hell, he's tired, and maybe a bit concussed. So he laughs. Full on belly laugh.
What comes out of him is the sound of the gates of hell opening. Like someone gave Dracula a dose of Joker's gas. Rough and elegant yet so maniacal and evil it genuinely has people's hairs standing up. It's sounds like the last thing you hear before someone loses their mind. It sounds like how Dick laughs.
It's so bad it startles Bruce himself into stopping. Everyone is looking at him like 'What the fuck was that?!'. Clark starts using x-ray vision to make sure it's actually his friend under the cowl and not a villain. In similar fashion Diana reaches for her lasso. Barry is wondering if he died and that sound is the gream reaper and Hal is passed out in the floor.
Bruce is looking at the distance. He's not sure how he's going to explain to Alfred that the polished, educated laugh he taught him has been corrupted by his 12 year old .
yea then everyone will have questions about there sanity and real identity of batman
Coloured prefaces from The Apothecary Diaries
sooo beautiful
Bruce Wayne sat in bed, awake, counting sheep, currently at five hundred.
Bruce (gritted teeth): 501 stupid sheep, 502 stupid sheep, 503 stupid sheep... Who came up with counting sheep? This doesn’t work!
Hatman (Australian accent): The repetition and countin' make you bored and annoyed enough to fall asleep. Doesn’t work for everybody.
I LOVE this story
Alfred Pennyworth
the og goat
AU where the mayor of Gotham retires or dies or something, and the Batsiblings decide it would be funny if they ran for mayor. Except they don’t run as their civilian identities, but as they’re vigilante ones.
Dick won’t stop pouting because the people of Gotham refuse to vote for someone from Bludhaven, Tim is incredibly offended that he ends up tied with Dick for last place, Damian is smug that he beat Tim and indignant that people refuse to vote for him because he’s “a child”, and Jason preens but is internally panicking as more and more people vote for him. He wins by a landslide.
His first act as mayor is to increase Bruce Wayne’s taxes. His second is to ban Lex Luthor from entering the city. Someone tries to tell him it’s illegal to do that and he just… walks away. Eventually he starts to get a hang of this whole mayor thing and ends up working with Wayne Enterprises to strengthen housing and construction in poorer neighborhoods, he gives teachers raises, encourages trade school and alternative routes for henchmen, he adds diversity and inclusivity courses to public schools, safety programs and gas masks are made more accessible, and he reinforces the security and integrity of Arkham.
Of course there are still times where he misuses his power a little bit, but it’s never anything serious and most Gothamites watch in amusement as the scene unfolds.
Like just imagine:
Jason, dressed as RH: You’re not allowed in, you know what you did.
Dick, standing outside the Gates of Gotham, giving his best pouty expression in his Nightwing gear: Please, Hood! I promised Robin I would take him to the zoo after patrol!
Jason: You should’ve thought about that before you ate the last cookie Agent A made.
Dick, now wailing: This is abuse of power! Cruel and unusual punishment! I demand a lawyer!
Of course there are also the times when Jason decides to do something nice for his siblings, except it just ends up confusing the fuck out of everyone else in Gotham. On Dick’s birthday, he announces that there is now an Official Animal of Gotham, and most people are expecting a bat, or maybe a bird, or hell even a crocodile. Everyone except for Dick, Bruce, and Alfred are confused when it ends up being an elephant instead. Jason also decides to unveil plans for a Gotham Animal Sanctuary on the same exact day. Everyone is even more surprised when Nightwing jumps on Hood, entrapping him in an octopus hug as their mayor flails around trying to pry him off. It doesn’t work and Batman has to pick Dick up by the scruff of his neck to get him off.
There are also some of the odder, but somewhat sensible laws that are passed. Condiments are banned during the holidays and in schools (Condiment King could be heard sobbing throughout Gotham when this proclamation aired). No one is allowed to dress as clowns for any circumstance. The sewers are off limits to everyone except maintenance/construction workers, who must carry guns on them at all times. Lex Luthor’s birthday becomes Gotham’s Official “Fuck Lex Luthor Day”.
Then comes Jason’s most popular decision to date, he has The Joker reassessed mentally, and when he’s found as sane he pushes for the death penalty to be given (not that he really needed to - it was going in that direction already). He almost expects an angry lecture or fight with Bruce to occur, but Bruce just looks at him and says, quietly, “You’ve done a beautiful job, son, I couldn’t be more proud.”
give me more please
when you wait for your lover for several lifetime but then he tells you later
I’ve watched a few Chinese court dramas growing up and I have to say, nobody got game like Mao Mao
me and the power of literacy in those days
a girls dream is fulfilled