#good dad bruce wayne

[spicy-apple-pie]

Bruce realizing that he has 4 gen z children.

Important amendment about Duke’s AAVE please read

Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)

[brucedefender4eva]

Bruce: Here *sets down jar on kitchen table*

The whole room stops, and Tim stares wide-eyed at the jar before backing away in slight disgust

Tim: What is that? Aren’t you supposed to be on bed rest?

Bruce: Your spleeeennnn

Tim: What?

Dick: What.

Bruce: You got sick last month, and it was bad… I felt bad… spleen…

Jason: *turning to Tim* You were missing your spleen? When the hell were you gonna tell anyone?!

Tim: Slipped my mind, anyway, how did you find out?

Bruce: I go into the League of Assassins servers and whatnot from time to time ever since Damian came into the family, no biggie

Duke: And you...?

Bruce: Infiltrated them about two hours ago to steal back your brother's spleen?

Bruce: Yes

Steph: Are you on drugs? You sound like you’re on drugs. What did Alfred give you?

Bruce: I don’t remember, something for my broken ribs

Cass: *standing up and leading Bruce to sit down in a chair* How many?

Bruce: Three, not a big deal. Anyways, spleen. *grins widely*

Jason: Wait... you infiltrated the League of Assassins while high

Bruce: *looks confused* What, like it's hard?

Damian: *had left the room earlier, is now back with a glass of cold water* Baba, please drink

Bruce: *takes glass and ruffles Damian’s hair* Thank you, baby, you’re so good to me. I love you so much *starts kissing his cheeks while Damian weakly tries to escape*

Dick: … *only slightly jealous* I’m calling Alfred

Duke: *poking Bruce’s forehead only to get a blinding smile back* Bruce is kinda cute like this, all dopey and stuff

[i-like-batfam]

Bruce understands that the robins will struggle to keep their secret identity more than he does with their friends and socializing. So he needs a contingency plan so if someone finds out they're robin, they won't suspect Bruce is batman.

Cue Brucie being the most overprotective parent ever.

He insists Dick is scared of heights. Dick will be swinging on a chandelier, showing off his skills while Brucie is running in circles under him, with his arms out, screaming "don't worry, baby! Daddy will catch you!". He's clinging Dick to his chest, whispering reassurances to him, while Dick is smiling, soaking up all the praise.

Pretty soon the adults are telling Dick off, "you're gonna give your father a heart attack one of these days".

It's 100% worse with Tim. After losing Jason, the 'Batman who's fine with bringing a kid to fight serial killers' is a lot more of an act than the 'Bruce Wayne who will die from heartbreak if his kid has so much as a scratch on him'. Tim accidentally got hit with a basketball one day in school and all hell broke loose in the principals office. It doesn't matter if that was 1% of the pain Tim feels during any training session or fight. That's his baby boy's precious face.

[robs-your-robins]

The idea of Bruce with a baby breaks my heart because what if one day on patrol, a baby is found abandoned or at a crime scene and the Bat just cradles that baby, wrapped in his cape and even the GCPD are stunned because, yes they have seen the Bat caring and attentive to children but this is new because he's gone so still, so quiet and caring.

The baby is placed in foster care and Bruce Wayne gets the call to be an emergency foster parent. Bruce insists on taking care of the baby and won't even go down to the cave because its too cold for the little guy. The other Bats go from curiosity to downright confusion because Bruce won't do bat-related stuff because of this baby. They start to think it is some sort of alien rogue that has taken over their dad's brain.

But the baby is eventually reunited with relatives a day or so later and Bruce says his goodbyes. His kids notice how quiet he is and eventually, somebody demands to know what is going on. Bruce just shrugs, 'it was nice to see what it would have been like'. He means raise a baby, because all of his kids came to him as eight years old, twelve, thirteen and so forth. Bruce loves them, he would never think less of them as his own because they were raised by others until they came to him. But for that night, he had allowed himself to imagine what it would have been like, to have been there from the start.

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

You have fundamentally misunderstood Bruce's character, If you do not 100% know what Bruce would say in any of these instances.

Any iteration of....

"B can we skip patrol cause I....."

"Dad can we...."

"Bruce I was thinking instead of...."

"Baba I want to....."

Bruce Wayne is throwing off his bat-suit running to the car, fishing his wallet out because his children don't want to fight crime today. This is the best day of his fucking life.

The thing I feel like is forgotten Bruce does not want any of these children to be vigilantes.

This fact is very much forgotten.

If all of them decided tomorrow to never get a fucking job, never go to college live completely off Bruce's money, but also never be a vigilante again. Bruce Wayne is throwing a parade that has not been seen since Alexander The Great lost his boyfriend.

Bruce would have a house filled with like 30 year old children who eat his food and refuse to never work a day in their lives and he would absolutely love it because they are not risking themselves.

He would skip patrol no questions asked.

In fanfictions I always see a moment of them like trying to convince Bruce to take a night off or they need a break or whatever.

Bruce, who is not absolutely butchered by a writer is actively burning down the Batcave because dick said he's just not feeling this vigilante thing anymore.

Bruce Wayne will never skip patrol or being Batman by his own decision or for his own benefit.

Throw one of his kids in it and he is just Bruce Wayne. 

[nina-s0]

8 year old dick who 100% knew Bruce was Batman but pretended not to for shits and gigles:

Dick: look! It's Superman!

Bruce, trying to form a bond with the kid he just adopted: I like Batman better.

Dick, side eyeing bruce: Batman's boring

Bruce, dying inside: rIgHt.

--

Jason, who met Batman before Bruce: fuck you, asshole.

Batman: I literally haven't even done anything yet.

Jason, being a little shit: I know, I've just always wanted to say that.

Bruce, who's already signing mental adoption papers: right.

__

Bruce, at a gala in his Brucie Wayne persona: aw what a cute kid! what's his name!?

Janet: This is my son. Tim.

Slightly autistic Tim who's special interest is 100% Batman rn: °_°

Bruce: um

Janet: give him a minute he's just struggling to express himself

Tim: BATMAN 🦇 🤓

Janet: oh

Janet: I think that means he likes you-

Tim, aggressively pointing: BATMAN. BATMAN. BATMAN-

Janet, dragging Tim away: okay time to go

Bruce: oh my god I love him

Jack, knowing Bruce's history with adoption: back off my kid man

__

Damian who wants to uphold the tradition, some how convinced bruce that Damian thought that bruce was Catwoman.

__

Damian, nodding at a stray cat: you can have this.

Bruce: oh yes son very cute- sorry wdym I can have it?

Damian: you can have it to add to your collection.

Bruce, fearing the worse: what collection???

Damian, straight faced: your cat collection.

Bruce: my cat collection?

Damian: because you are cat woman.

Bruce:

Bruce: I'm cat woman???

[red-plutoo]

Conversation I think happen frequently between the bats

__

Any batkid, looking at someone with black hair blue eyes: yknow they kinda look like you-

Bruce, retired whore: shut up

__

Tim, just got back from stalking someone:

Bruce: you cannot keep doing this.

Tim: Jason shot a guy yesterday and this is what you’re the most worried about??

Bruce:

Bruce: ok fair point

__

Damian, obviously trying to hide a small animal under his shirt:

Bruce, not looking up from his work: go down to the cave and get it a rabies shot

Damian:

Damian: ok fine.

__

Tim: (slightly disturbing fact)

Cass: oh yeah, kinda like (slightly more disturbing fact)

Jason, just wanted to have cereal: it’s 7am.

__

Steph: is owning human bones illegal?

Dick: yes-

Damian: depends on how you acquire them

Steph: cool thanks

__

Bruce, picking up an apple:

Any batkid: batapple

Bruce, sighing:

__

Tim, has been awake for far far too long: is it illegal to autopsy a living person

Jason: why are you quoting house at me.

Tim: house my dih

Jason: ????

__

Bruce: who punched a hole on the wall??

Batkids, scrambling to scatter:

[aeturnum-mendacacium]

As Bruce grows older into his 50's or 60's the paparazzi and people crowding him becomes less and he thinks that people have finally decided that Bruce is too old to be attractive or mainstream and he's actually super fine with it and makes jokes( more like sarcastic remarks) about it. But in reality they've grown more freaky cause instead of looking wrinkly and a sappy old man the level of cunt he serves grows everyday,he doesn't look like a snack he looks like a buffet, 13 year olds are using his pics as the cover pages of their mafia wattpad stories, he looks majestic, absolute dilf, we don't talk about the amount of tags he's birthed just by ageing on ao3, and hes still an absolute UNIT, the reason he's not heard about it yet cause the batkids are blocking the shit OUT with all of their will and strength cause it doesn't matter if all of them are full grown adults they're still all like-THATSMYDADGETAWAYFROMHIMHEDOESN'THAVETIMEFORYOUHESBUSYBEINGOURDAD