[4gifs]

[nerdy-trans-girl-blog]

Okay guys lets get this stuff unpacked.   Karen’s stuff…Some supplies…Karen…

[parakeet]

today a regular customer came into my store and told me she’d ‘finished candy crush’ and tbh i didnt think that was possible. i thought it just generated levels forever, but apparently it has 4000 odd levels and it took her 4 years to complete. she even emailed them asking when there would be more levels and they told her she could play their other games or replay the existing levels jklsdkflsdf

[patron-saint-of-smart-asses-dea]

the only true gamer

[porterr-robinson]

[creamysmooth]

[rubyneo]

[catchymemes]

[samandriel]

if you don’t think history is amusing then you’re wrong because one time 3 different guys declared themselves pope all at once and they all excommunicated each other and it was basically the funniest shit ever

[iskierka]

what about that time the Lichtenstein army sent 80 men to Italy to fight and came back with 81  

[sspock]

what about that one mexican president who lasted 45 minutes in office

[definitelyforsurenotbees]

Also apparently when Napoleon invaded Egypt, the Egyptians wanted to get in his good favor, so they sent two teenage girls to him for use as he pleased, Napoleon was not happy because he was in love with Josephine. So he sent them back, but apparently the Egyptian ministers misunderstood.

Because they sent back two young boys.

[samandriel]

that last one sent me into hysterics

[writing-prompt-s]

At long last, The Chosen One has been discovered. Working as a cashier. With no interest in doing anything even slightly more difficult.

[crazymuff1n-deactivated20230428]

yeah because there is nothing more difficult than retail

[piningeddie]

tbh anyone who works/has worked retail would see the chance to go around saving the world in ways that could potentially kill them as a welcome vacation

[copperbadge]

“Does the position of Chosen One offer health benefits of any kind?” 

“Well, our ragtag gang of world-saving underdogs has a doctor on-team.”

“Do I have to pay her out of pocket, is what I’m asking.”

“Gosh no! She’s an idealist, you don’t pay her at all!”

“Oh! That’s nice. But then I guess there’s no paycheck.”

“I mean, the secret cabal that dispenses our orders does make sure we have enough money to feed ourselves and keep a roof over our secret lair and such.”

“Hourly?”

“Hourly what?”

“Like have you guys ever had to punch a time clock?”

“We once had to dismantle a sinister time-freezing device in the shape of a clock….otherwise no.”

“Sold. Off we go.” 

[jumpingjacktrash]

“do i have to be nice to people who are yelling at me?”

“we’re the good guys, you can’t kill random civilians just because they’re mean!”

“kill?? no, i mean, can i tell them off.”

“well, sure, of course.”

*rips name tag off shirt and tosses it over shoulder* “i’m your huckleberry.”

[pathfuckery]

This resonates on a spiritual level

[chaoticgood-remadee-deactivated]

not to sound like a grumpy old bitch but the current climate of mainstream pop music is boring and shitty

[chaoticgood-remadee-deactivated]

“oouuyhyy i miiieeass yoouuuuuu im sad boy” grow up  and make the next party rock anthem god. fuck.

[anxietyproblem]

[anxietyproblem]

[officialunitedstates]

if I had my pick, ostriches

[art-nimals]

This was BY FAR the best thing I’ve seen today.

(Source)

[art-nimals]

watch it until the end IT WILL NOT DISAPPOINT

[weaponizedhorse]

[frenchwhorn]

[studentlifeproblems]

[sunjins-remade]

*disassociates while playing rhythm game and somehow gets a perfect score*

[roboticreborn-deactivated201811]

yeah it’s called the Rhythm Game Trance State and it’s guaranteed to get you a Perfect score but only if you lose 90% of your awareness of the surrounding universe and float off into another dimension while your hands remain in the material world to break lose all hell on a poor game controller

[outtagum]

A quarter of a century after leaving Neverland and the stars of Hook have recreated their look to mark the film’s 25th anniversary

[catchymemes]