nicest mean girl

V. (As in the letter, not the numeral.) Fandom old. She/her. Current obsession: the Witcher.

[nicestmeangirl]

My Witcher nonsense, all in one place!

(Psst, I do a Witcher podcast called Whiskey with Witcher, check us out!)

A collection of observations, pithy commentary, prompts, and ficlets.

Evolution of a geraskier shipper

Jaskier’s scars

Geralt and Jaskier’s odd couple winter in Oxenfurt

Post-mountain Jaskier randomly encounters a sick Geralt

Nightmare of the Wolf hair color discourse

The irony of Eskel

Mutagen-induced extended adolescence

Podcast discussion topics request

Every Geraskier fanfic

Soft Geraskier Fanart Commission by @terrybawful

H/C Geraskier Fanart Commission by @tishawish

Buff Jaskier

A tale in three acts

[damejoansutherland]

side benefit of communal all-gender restrooms is that they may be our best chance to shame cis men into washing their hands

[damejoansutherland]

i was in a communal all-gender restroom today and as i was washing my hands a middle-aged man came out of one of the stalls, started to make for the door, clocked me standing at the sinks, and changed course to wash his hands with a real hangdog look on his face

[leona-florianova]

young Geralt contemplating if hes somehow being hoodwinked by Preston Holt

[mina-logan]

“Shane, how does it feel to be back on Montreal ice?”

[ultimatespider]

the pros of reading ao3 fics in public is that their layout is so clean and simple that people would think you’re reading some academic researches when you’re in fact reading a 50k fic. the cons is that you need to control your face all the fucking time

[fuckyeahisawthat]

An additional feature: the layout is clean and simple BUT anyone familiar with AO3 will immediately recognize it. Pro or con? You decide.

[lynati]

If they know it enough to recognize it on sight, they probably aren’t going to be judging me about it.

[geardrops]

they were also at the devil’s sacrament

[teaboot]

Too bad the prophet Cassandra never met Odysseus

[teaboot]

They say if she made a prophecy Nobody would believe her

[edgar-allan-possum]

I’ve gotta say, that is exactly the kind of stupid thing that probably would circumvent a curse.

[elidyce]

Cassandra: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO REGRET THIS SO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. 

Odysseus: Regret it why?

Cassandra: You won’t believe me if I tell you. If I prophecy, nobody believes me. That is my curse.

Odysseus: … I’m Nobody. Fill me in. 

*A couple of months later* 

Odysseus: HELLO PENELOPE, I AM HERE PRECISELY ON TIME AND NOT YEARS LATE incidentally I rescued and adopted a Trojan seer while I was away, she’s great, got me home really fast, Cassandra this is your new mother who’s not going to treat you like shit. 

Penelope: … I’m going to need more details, but okay, sure. 

Cassandra: *in tears* I love you, new family. 

[cipheramnesia]

Cassandra: Penelope, I’ve had another vision.

Penelope, sighs: Go tell your father.

[val-the-bun]

[sankta-wraith]

the original? on my dash?

[simoondraws]

Wake up, Witcher fandom 👁️

[mina-logan]

[korunak]

christ in the wilderness, ivan kramskoy

[thatbitchsimone]

he looks like he needs a cigarette

[refuzz]

[hunter-rodrigez]

[leona-florianova]

2008

2026 redraw

[petitbutcher]

i will never not be baffled by the fact that it literally took four seasons and a new geralt to finally get their dynamic right 😭

[uno-gang]

Another great thing about Heated Rivalry on the meta-meta level is the fact that Connor Storrie has so many moles. Because in my native language the word for mole is literally mother's mark and we have this folk believe that they represent your mother's love for you. Because it "leaves marks on you".

That means that Ilya is covered head to toe in physical embodiments of his mother's love for him. He has so many moles, he is so loved.

And there is no way this could've been an active casting decision, because why would it be? It just shows that Connor Storrie was destined to play mama's boy Ilya Rozanov

(And don't even get me started on the big mole on his cheek, that is like prime cheek kissing location)

[darklyhandsome]

So I just realised there's a Tumblr blog called @horsefigureoftheday which does what it says on the tin and my first thought was geralt of rivia would totally follow the fuck outta this.

[horsefigureoftheday]

McFarlane Toys The Witcher Season 2 "Roach"

[cyphir-spacerobot]

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

[anxeious]

[mariacallous]

[thecactifindahome]

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

this is what happens when they cut "When Love is Gone" from the Muppet Christmas Carol smh

[justslightlyconfused]

“I need coin, peace, and quiet”

Geralt, babe, i’m sorry to be the one to tell you this but intentionally driving your horse at 2mph so the personification of unhinged talking chaos can keep up with you doesn’t vibe well with 2/3 of that life aspiration