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@nickthespoon
Seashore🌊…arts from the last year! ^o^
If you can correctly identify what type of dog Zorro is, you get a prize*
Also go watch Min-Maxed!
Tarnished, before thou continueth upon this journey, I must take the time to send hate anon to Marika’s blog.
They fucking killed a gnome in my yard
i think this is…actually the most extreme stupid dove nest I’ve seen.
video
Imagine you're coming home after a long day of hunting, and the first thing you hear is your seven shitty kids screeching at you for no reason, how pissed off would you be, I'd immediately fly away too
Imagine you're the oldest of seven and a fucking HOA member broke into your HOUSE and SHIT AN EGG and is BITING at your siblings, but your dad shows so you try to tell him the problem but you're very little and you don't speak English and he doesn't speak English either so you can't communicate that a fucking GOBLIN is in your HOUSE and the only reason he doesn't know is cause his ASS was on that bitch's HEAD and he must've assumed it was one of your brothers and sisters but it was actually that FREAK WOMAN who got in, and now your dad is flying away 'cause he has no idea what's going on
Imagine you're a parent and you've calmed down and gone to get McDonald's for your seven kids, and you come home expecting to get cheers because you know the D's are always a winner, but when you fly back in through the door the kids are all still screaming, and it's not even excited screams but you don't know what's wrong so you just look into the camera like you're Jim from the Office
Imagine you're one of the small middle children and probably the one that this HOA WITCH was BITING after she broke into YOUR HOUSE and SHIT an EGG and you tried to be a good host by cuddling with her to congratulate her on her egg but then she started BITING and taking over your ROOM and threw out all your GOOSEBUMPS books and your eldest sibling couldn't call dad so you all just had to wait, and then dad comes home but your STUPID FAMILY won't stop SCREECHING to explain what's going on so your dad leaves but then comes back and he's brought McDonald's which is like yay but there is an INTRUDER, and finally your dad looks around the house and notices BITCH BIRD KAREN IN YOUR BEAN BAG CHAIR, and you're like ok dad can handle this but then you learn he's more scared than you?????
Imagine you're a dad and you just got home with McDonald's and WHO THE FUCK IS THAT IN MY HOUSE but luckily you have seven children and the mean one is willing to fight this bitch and you're just gonna chill in this corner until this problem is resolved even if your other kids are straight-up judging you
Imagine you're Kevin McCallister and you're doing Home Alone except you're not home alone 'cause your dad is home too but he's not helping, he's just holding a bag of McDonald's, so you have to be the head of this house at eight years old 'cause you're home alone emotionally but this FREAK ON AN EGG isn't leaving so you decide to screech at your dad and he's more scared of you than she is
Imagine you're a dad and your child has publicly shamed you in front of your other kids and this ASSHOLE KAREN and you decide you're not gonna take this shit anymore so you tell your kids that you paid for this McDonald's with your hard-earned bird money and they're gonna damn well eat this, so everybody stop looking at that side of the house and just eat your fucking french fries but then that fucking MONSTER starts BITING your only child willing to go into battle so you recognize this is a lost cause and throw the burgers on the counter and you remember you're an ADULT so you grab your car keys and fly the fuck away
Imagine you're all seven children and dad left you with the pigeon again
Caught Up On My Stories BTW. Handling It
you cant even begin poems with "i will sodomise and facef uck you" anymore. because of woke .
Holy fuck
Catullus really was dealing with fandom antis 2000 years ago and we are still dealing with them now and they still do suck in exactly this way
rip catullus you would have hated tumblr
Are we going to talk about the fact that the translator turned it into a shape poem. Of a penis.
[Image description: the first image is a screenshot of a Wikipedia article, reading: "Catullus 16 or Carmen 16 is a poem by Gaius Valerius Catullus (c. 84 BC – c. 54 BC). The poem, written in a hendecasyllabic (11-syllable) meter, was considered to be so sexually explicit following its rediscovery in the following centuries that a full English translation was not published until the 20th century.[1] The first line, Pēdīcābō ego vōs et irrumābō ('I will sodomize and face-fuck you'), sometimes used as a title, has been called "one of the filthiest expressions ever written in Latin—or in any other language".[2]"
The second image is the poem in question, indeed arranged to look like a phallus. The text reads: "Catullus 16 / Translated by Scurfield / I'll fuck you in the ass and face fuck you, / cocksucker Aurelius, and butt boy Furius. / You think that because I write tender poetry / That I too am so soft? Pious poets might be chaste- / their poetry need not be, whose charm and wit, / if tender and rather sensual, / can incite an itch / not just in boys but / in those hairy men / who can't move / their limp dicks. / So what if I write / about a thousand / kisses? You think / I'm less of a man? / I'll fuck you in the ass / and face fuck / you." End ID.]
The back to back weddings were a choice but I respect it
[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-
DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE
reblog to ruin a law student’s life
when i was younger i had a really bad fear of danny devito when i was going to sleep so my older brother gave me a watch that he set to like 8 hours ahead so that it was always daytime on the watch when i was asleep and he told me it would confuse danny devito and he would think it was daytime and get scared of the sun and leave me alon
Your brother is the best
Who the fuck changed this from vampires to Danny devito
the real question is why I was completely ready to accept that this person had a debilitating childhood fear of Danny Devito
World Heritage Post
posting this here as well because i think its ppppprettyy
Piano Man!
Can't wait for the finale of TADC!! <3
"Blackbird" - personal work, inspired by my hometown. Blackbirds are my favourite - they sing so beautifully.
(source)
thank you yes, I did need this today
I fucking love the "toddlers doing big people things with their big people" genre. One of my other favs is a toddler doing taiko drumming with adults.
Because they're NOT just "big people things" -- they're for everyone, and it's so important to start baby being around them young so they have it as a natural part of their lives and routine, and lifelong memories of being part of it.