N I C O L A S

“Whatever it is I am, a bit of flesh, a bit of breath, a bit of soul.” — Marcus Aurelius 

[nicolascasillas]

date: 31 december 2020 location: nic’s place status: closed, for @diana-amari​

“Still asleep, and as promised, I made sure that Lorenzo’s been incapacitated by a ball of catnip and his dinner. So, there isn’t a chance in the world that my cat will be so much as sniffing at him in his travel bassinet.” One could practically hear the roll of his eyes in his tone, but he’s looking right at her still as he rejoins her in the living room, half-smile on his mouth. “I promise, Lorenzo’s harmless.” When he isn’t hungry, that is, but he’s nearly sure if he said it aloud that she’d start calling his new pet a demon. Nic lets out a breath as he relaxes into the couch, turning his head in her direction before he poses a light: “So, what do you think the odds are that we both end up passing out before midnight?” 

[nicolascasillas]

𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐗𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐎 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐒

Whatever it is I am, a bit of flesh, a bit of breath, a bit of soul.

[nicolascasillas]

date: 10 january 2021 location: totally spies/powerpuff girl’s apartment time: late afternoon status: closed, for @charlottewrenn​

“Your roommate’s really nice... Del? She let me in and said she’d be back in an hour or so. Said to tell you or Cora that she was going to be back late.” He’s seated comfortably in one of the bar stools, half-finished cup of coffee sat in front of him since the woman he’s speaking of had hardly left twenty minutes ago, ten minutes after Nicolas had arrived looking for Lotta. “You didn’t tell me your roommate was one of the bartenders at the country club. She’s cute.” Despite the fact that he’s grinning like the cheshire cat as he says it, as if he’s already planning something, he’s only joking. His track record may say differently, but his new year’s resolution was to move, act, and interact with more intention and mindfulness. Included in that was reaching out to the friends he did have here in town instead of continuing to sulk as he had since he’d come back from Europe late in the fall. “Anyway, I stopped by to ask if you wanted to hang out. Dinner, maybe, at my place? I could cook us something from Florence if you want.”

[dearemma]

[firstfullmoon]

He was like the lighthouse in some ways. He was lonely and aloof. He was arrogant, no doubt of that, and cloaked in himself. He was dark. [T]he light in him never lit. The instruments were in place, and polished too, but the light was not lit. If she had never lit a fire in a cold room…

Jeanette Winterson, from Lighthousekeeping (via firstfullmoon)

[nicolascasillas]

Adrienne​:

Adrienne had never been able to wrap her mind around Nicolas. While hired to represent him, the little cases taken on had been nothing but petty charges. Nothing that would warrant him to demand her presence in his new town. While it was a perfect opportunity for the time in her life, she still wasn’t entirely sure why he’d chosen her. A mere phone book would have been enough to find any other lawyer in town. He paid well, and she supposed that was enough to keep her on the hook for now. Nor would she ask too many questions in fear of the answer. Peering at the glass mentioned, the brunette plucked it from the table and brought it to her lips after smelling the liquid. “Exquisite,” she hummed, pulling it down slightly. “Dark chocolate. But I never like to feel limited, so perhaps something that would go well with both?”

—

He knows his actions (or lack thereof) have been more than questionable the past few years. There’s a whisper in his mind, curled like smoke around his head still asking why he bothered staying. There’s an insistent plea somewhere in the shriveled heart of his begging him to quit with his plans for revenge. But, Nicolas wants it— perhaps now, only out of spite for his supposed father. And with Adrienne here in Crescent Harbor, he knew he had one of the best lawyers on the east and west coast in the wings. So he’d pay her and add free wine, make sure she was comfortable and happy here in this small town until the time was right. The question was, however, why was he stalling for so long? What was he waiting for? “Here, then,” Nic gestures to a glass at the other end of the table. “That one could go with both, has a hint of caramel as well.” Raising his brows slightly, he asks: “So, how are you? Haven’t gotten bored of this little town yet? Are you flying south for the holidays?”

[quotefeeling]

I’m homesick all the time … I just don’t know where home is. There’s this promise of happiness out there. I know it. I even feel it sometimes. But it’s like chasing the moon - just when I think I have it, it disappears into the horizon.

Sarah Addison Allen (via quotefeeling)

[nicolascasillas]

Nicolas Casillas + Social Media

Del hombre al mono sólo hay un paso (y es pequeñito).

[nicolascasillas]

Cora​:

time: 1:29 a.m. location: nic’s car status:closed for @nicolascasillas​

text: i wouldn’t ask this of u EVER text: my bike’s fucked, i’m fucked and i need a lift from work text: i can’t get hold of del and i promise i will make this up to u 

At this hour, she’s scantily clad, stuck between the arch of the strip club’s entrance and a mass of stars. The goodbyes from her colleagues leave her with a single security guard, his insistence to remain are brushed off politely until she exists within a silence; observing the gentle cascade of rain as it hits the dimly lit street slabs. Her arms are curled around her frame tightly, tugging at the lengthy trench coat as it withholds the water from seeping into her skin. She’s still cold, still stepping from one heel to the other in an attempt to regain warmth. When she sees him, she sighs, a concoction of exhaustion and relief.           A single hand pulls away from her as she lifts it upwards to wave, dashing over towards the vehicle with her head dipped - anything to remain somewhat dry beneath Winter’s bitter bite. When she slips into the vehicle, both palms stretch outwards to feel the heat of the car and only when she gains some semblance of warmth does she speak.           “Nic, I-” she speaks between a breath- “I truly owe you one.” Her eyes shift over towards him, observing him momentarily before breaking the silence with her typical uncouth tongue. “I’m fucking starving, my bones ache and my feet feel like I’ve just walked through glass to get here.”

—

He almost asks why she doesn’t just call an Uber. Bleary-eyed and fog-minded, it’s his first thought as he squints at the screen of his phone, bright in the contrast of his pitch-black room. Nicolas can’t sleep properly otherwise, and yet it was nearly 2 in the morning the day before Christmas that he hadn’t been able to find sleep, not dozing but nearly there before the text notifications had interrupted his mindless scrolling through Instagram. It was without hesitation that he’d responded with an easy: ‘you don’t owe me. i’ll be there soon.’ climbing out of bed and reaching for a pair of sweatpants. He’s half way to his car as he pulls a henley over his head, over his messy hair when he realises it’s raining. 

“Hello to you, too, Cora, it’s nice to see you as well.” The playful jibe is delivered with a rogueish grin, albeit more tired-looking than his usually put-together self as he pushes some of his unruly hair out of his face.

“Do you want me to stop somewhere for food?” He hasn’t started driving yet, doesn’t acknowledge her saying that she owes him, instead turning around to grab the spare wool sweater he keeps in his car, depositing it on her lap without so much a word about it and fluidly turns the knob that’ll warm her seat as well. It’s a stupid question to ask, it’s unlikely for anything good to be open this late, so as he shifts the gear to drive he gives her a cursory glance before he offers: “We can swing by my house if you want. I made too much for dinner, if you don’t want to have to cook when you get home.” A beat, a yawn that he politely turns his head to the side for while he drives, then: “Your place is the one off of Main and Sixth, right?”

[nicolascasillas]

Sanem:

There was a partial roll of her eyes, lightheartedly, and soft chuckle accompanying, sliding her arm through the handles of the tote. Regardless of the past — which remained as such, within memories, it was nice to be able to move forward in the amiable way they were now. ❝ Well, you certainly got one of those right, and I’ll you figure out which. ❞ Remarking then with a playful tone, before continuing. ❝ Though, I do have to give credit where it’s due. Lily and I sampled some of the holiday collection and it was amazing as usual. Personally I’m a fan of the mulled wine. ❞ Adding on then as they made it over to the target booth, eyes peering over the different décor on display before finding the wreaths, listening as he explained a bit in what to be on the lookout for. ❝ Dark blue, silver and no ribbons, okay that at least narrows down some of the options. Also you did apparently forget and now I’d like to hear all about this cat please. ❞ Perusing through she picked up a potential wreath, holding it up. ❝ Thoughts on this one ? ❞

—

“I’ll tell myself it’s the latter,” He winks in response. It feels good to joke, to feel a little more light-hearted than he’s felt as of late with the weight of the holiday season weighing on him the way that it does, every year the same heavy smoke in his chest that he can’t seem to rid himself of. But, at least in the company of someone he could call a friend, he could shove it as far back from his consciousness as possible. “Your wedding is this winter, isn’t it? I could make sure to add a few extra bottles as a part of the wedding present.” As the conversation shifts to his cat, however, he laughs, nodding his head as he accepts that he did happen to forget somehow. “Well, he’s somewhere between twenty-five and thirty pounds, half wild cat, and the most pompous animal I’ve ever met. Lorenzo was a bit of an impulse adoption, but thankfully, his claws and teeth have yet to ruin my house.” Nic shows her a photo of the cat lounging in a bar stool before he turns his attention to the wreath. “It’s very.... glittery.” He furrows his brows slightly in consideration, before: “Stray glitter won’t make a cat sick if he knocks the wreath over, will it?”

[weltenwellen]

Rebecca Solnit, The Faraway Nearby

[nicolascasillas]

Diana:

“Coffee is a big help,” she agreed with a small laugh, kissing the top of her son’s hat covered head. “He’s not as fussy lately as he has been. I think he’s adjusting to the real world just fine. Me, however…” She trailed off with another breathy laugh and a shake of her head. “Well. I’ve never been more excited to get a full eight hours of sleep in my life.”

Her eyes were on his face as they drew to a stop in line, the same half smile she always had while looking at him. It never escaped her just how beautiful he was, but he was especially handsome in the early evening glow accompanied by twinkling festive lights. Though they didn’t work out, she couldn’t help but feel lucky this man laid his focus on her for as long as he did. “I almost didn’t,” she admitted, a little sheepishly. “There are a few… stressors here that I wanted to avoid. Family matters, the usual. A couple others, too. But it felt wrong for him to miss it, even just for a year. I never did, so… Trying to uphold tradition.” She almost reached out to touch his arm absently, but she stopped herself. “How are you?”

//

‘Well if you ever want any help—’ He nearly voices the thought, almost speaks the words, but instead he bites his tongue before he chuckles and nods with a light: “Soon enough. I’m sure he’ll be sleeping through the night sooner than you’ll realise.” He shouldn’t offer, doesn’t have the grounds to do so easily after last year and his subsequent behaviour. 

It’s a conscious effort, to not look at her for too long, to not let his gaze linger on the woman that had so tightly held his affections for years. They’d never officially been an item but there had been something. Something enough that he’d nearly let his tongue slip, something that in the end his pride and fear had ruined things between himself, that he ruined for himself and the woman he admired and adored the most in the world. She’s as beautiful as ever. “Well, if you need me to keep said stressors away, just let me know. You can always duck into the Winery’s booth if you need to.” Although what he says is delivered in a light tone, paired with a crooked half-smile, he does mean it, gloved hand briefly coming up to rest at her back for the briefest of seconds. Nic doesn’t have as many real friends here as he’d want, but if nothing else he’s protective of her still as a proper friend would be. “Me? I’m...” He tilts his head to one side, then the other before he exhales and they move up in the line. “Busy. You know the holidays aren’t exactly my favourite time of year.” It used to be. He’d never told her that, but his careful fondness was obvious enough. “I’ve been okay, looking into wines from Australia and holiday shopping.” They’re at the front of the line, and he gestures for her to place her order first. “You said you had a few stressors bothering you... Is there anything I can do to help?”

[istephblog-blog1]

Lay by your side and see your face and love you

[weltenwellen]

Marya Hornbacher, Waiting

[nicolascasillas]

Lily​:

Waving to the couple as they got into their car, Lily smiled to herself as she recalled the events of the day. It sounded like the winery was definitely their frontrunner for their summer nuptials, and luckily their date was still available. Instead of jumping into her own car and heading home for the weekend, Lily instead turned around and went back into the building where she knew Nicolas Casillas was waiting for her. Although they did not exactly grow up closely together due to their age gap, their parents’ connections allowed for an adulthood friendship to blossom upon both of their return to the small town they called home. 

“Good news, I may have booked the final Saturday you have free for August 2021,” Lily announced as she joined the man in the area he’d designated for the tasting session. She was lucky that the Casillas family thought so highly of her both personally and professionally, and because of that she was able to get certain perks around the winery. Nodding approvingly at the set up that the director of winemaking had clearly thought through, the woman listened intently as he described the various offerings that she was getting a sneak peek into. As much as she knew the man was a hard worker and as dedicated to his job as she was to hers, she nonetheless appreciated him going the extra mile. 

“I’ll try not to,” the brunette replied to his quip about the rosé wine, arguably the one that Lily would go for instantly in the warmer months. But as it was the holiday season, she found herself gravitating towards the reds. “Let me try the spiced ones first then, and I’ll let you know if I will be taking you up on your offer,” was the response before delicately picking up the glass of the anticipated novelty selection, gracefully taking a sip and letting the flavor settle in her mouth. “Citrus and… cinnamon?” she guessed of the notes, wondering if she was on the right track and hoping she didn’t offend Nicolas. “But you’re right, it certainly is something. You’ve outdone yourself yet again, and I said that for the fall selection.” A pause lingered in the air as she considered the option he’d given her, although Lily Whittaker truly did not need to think on it - how could she refuse? “Yes, I’ll gladly accept a half case sent to my place, I moved into my own home so I’ll text you my new address,” she replied enthusiastically, sure that Nicolas was well aware of the events surrounding the Whittaker family as of late - at least, the publicized information. “I think I’ll order some for the wedding, it’s just too good to pass up for such a special day,” Lily mused, quickly providing clarification. “Not my wedding, of course. My best friend’s, I’m the planner and maid of honor for her, so I guess it is almost as though it is my own with the amount of effort I’m putting into it. Trust me, if it was indeed my wedding, you would’ve received an invitation as soon as we sent them out.” Drumming her fingers on the table momentarily, brown eyes predictably drifted to the glass of rosé. “As expected, I’m gonna try this one next. What about you?”

//

“The last—” He cuts himself off with a chuckle that tumbles from his lips, smiling as he shakes his head ruefully. With the Casillas Vineyards + Winery being the largest winery in the state, he shouldn’t be surprised by such a statement. Weekends filled up quickly (especially those in the warmest months of the year), and considering that August was only about eight months away give or take, the couple that she had to have booked were more than lucky to be able to snag that date. “Well, good for them. And, good for the both of us. Thank you for thinking of this place so highly that you continue to recommend it to your clients.” It’s a formality, if anything, since he’s the Casillas that she’s speaking with at this very moment. Victor and Elena, or his siblings would have said the same thing to her, but being that he considered her more of a friend than business partner, he especially means it. 

At her guess, he nods in lieu of a verbal response, quick to finish off the morsel of prosciutto and cheese that he’d taken a bite of while she’d begun to taste what he’d had brought out for her. “Cinnamon and citrus peels, yes. Cloves, too.” It wasn’t as sweet as he would like, although of course he would always be his own worst critic when it came down to it, and the tannins didn’t quite hit the mark that he was going for when it came to this blend of wine and spices. But, of course he’d never tell a customer that. No, it was perfect for a spiced wine for the holiday season. Nicolas would just have to try again next year to attempt what he was going for. 

“I’m glad you like it. I’ll have it packed up and sent over as soon as we have the address,” He smiles, although he does raise his brows when she mentions ‘the wedding’. Surely she can’t be talking about the wedding for next fall? Nic’s eyes smooth over to her hand briefly looking for confirm that she wasn’t engaged (if she was, then the matter of who and how the hell he missed the engagement announcement were certainly questions to accompany an immediate congratulations), and not seeing a ring, he waits for her to elaborate and isn’t left waiting long, as her explanation is quick appear. Wedding planner and maid of honour, Lily must have her hands full with this wedding— but of course, as an event planner it isn’t something he imagines she can’t handle. “You had me worried for a moment there,” He teases lightly. “I nearly thought I’d missed an announcement or social media post somewhere. And if I had, well, the only way I’d be able to make up for that disaster would be to offer you the venue and wines free of charge. But, of course, I can have cases set aside before the Market this weekend. How many were you thinking?” 

When she asks what he’ll be drinking, he picks up his glass, swirling the crimson liquid within it before he nods at the bottle at the end of the table. “The other spiced wine. We made more of this one, so it won’t be limited to this winter. It’s a full-bodied red, sweet and can be served warm or even over ice in the summer with apple, cinnamon, vanilla, and oak as the main notes.” With his attention back to her and the rosé, however, Nicolas points out one of the chocolates on the platter before setting a piece into his mouth himself. “This bourbon pecan chocolate goes well with that rosé, by the way.”

[nicolascasillas]

Adrienne​:

Adrienne narrowed her gaze as she peered over at the male. There was no doubt in the brunette’s mind that Nicolas had a streak of bad inside of him. While he wasn’t the worst of her clients, she’d caught glimpses here and there. He was the reason she’d found herself here, which meant that keeping contact with him was more of an importance than others. Arms folded over her chest as she inched closer, peering at the display of items laid out upon the bench. Adri was an avid wine drinker which meant that she had enough knowledge on the tools that came with fabricating wine. Well, perhaps she had an idea than concrete knowledge.

Her gaze flicked towards him when he voices what she hoped to hear. Despite knowing she is being paid to represent him should he do something, she still feels a sense of relief to know there isn’t a reason for them to go to court. “That’s good to hear,” she winks at him before peering in the distance in thought. “Red and White. Definitely one that goes with chocolate.” While she wasn’t always a dessert type of girl, she loved her chocolate.

//

He had to make sure his side of the board was full. And, not only did that mean friends, but allies. Were allies mercenaries when they were considered to be chosen and hired for specific assignments? He doesn’t like to think too closely on that, but at least when it all came down to it, he knew that legally, Adrienne would have his back, and there wouldn’t be a question about it. So he’s comfortable around her, and he doesn’t become protective over what sits on his work bench, smiles, even, as her gaze returns from the items on the table to him. “Red and white, and good with chocolate,” Nicolas muses, crossing his arms and uncrossing as he looks over at some of the glasses. “Try the glass on the far right, it’s a zinfandel that’s good with dark chocolate. Or were you looking for something to go with milk chocolate?”

[wnq-writers]

I want so many things from this life, but most of all, I want you, just you.