nightravenxx

Batfam Fanfiction . May have some poetry . Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it

[hoodedwing]

Loyalty Killed Me

Summary: The Joker could finally do what he wanted to do, traumatize Nightwing

Characters: Nightwing. Harley Quinn. Joker. Mentions of Red Hood

Warnings: Just really sick ways of stitching people up. Blood. Depressive. Major character/s death mentions. Batman. Doctor Leslie Thompkins

Additional Notes: I know Joker cannot traumatize Grayson canon-wise? Please correct me if I’m wrong.

Word Count: 2,242 words

***

Time doesn’t stop.

Time knows, in its hands. It plays around with the seconds. These seconds matter, someone dying, someone on the communicator whispering, ____ come get me. come get me, I can’t go back.

Time doesn’t freeze. Time does not have a cloak drapes around it in a timeless manner. Time does not walk in a regal manner and stroke your gaping wounds to cauterize them. Apply pressure because really, when did Time wait for you to stop the damned arterial spray? Have you seen first hand how much blood can spew, almost like a fountain from that serrated dagger?

Time has caught up with Dick Grayson, the Wonder Boy. The Nightwing Blüdhaven didn’t deserve. The loving boyfriend/husband of Barbara Gordon. The first son of Bruce Wayne, Batman.

Batman. He doesn’t know who’s Batman. Not anymore.

-

3200..6400..12800..

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Remember, inhale slowly, inflate lungs. Let it circulate through. Let. Let it work.

Richard. That’s your name. Your mother was beautiful and your father was handsome. You are a Grayson. You have brothers and sisters.

Pain.

Pain is relative. If you fuck with pain long enough, it won’t fuck back with you. Pain spreads through him and he inhales deep, bigger breaths. Trying to drown out the searing ache. He succeeds, deceives his brain.

Dick Grayson is such a liar.

He knows how to lie, how to smile widely at the Blüdhaven precinct when shit goes down or still tell a joke or two when Damian is there.

Dick Grayson is such a liar.

He’s a good man. Honest to goodness. He’s fooled himself into thinking his left leg didn’t feel on fire, he’s successfully managed to stop gasping against the rattle of his chest, a rub or two might be the cause. Who knows?

BOY WONDER! SAD YOUR DEAREST BATMAN HASN’T COME TO SAVE YOU YET? WHY LOOK AT THAT.

Mistah J checks his watch and smiles, his crooked smile stares back at Richard.

Dick only looks away as the Joker’s cold fingers run his slimy, skinny fingers along his body. He used to shiver under his touch in a bad way, he would gulp and squeeze his eyes shut, hunting for memories to dive into.

When he got Zitka. When his mother named him her Robin. When he went on patrol for the first time with the all mighty Batman. When he first met Jason. Then Tim. Then Damian. Then the nights they spent healing wounds, fighting together or just sleeping or Netflix.

Dick doesn’t move, doesn’t say a word. He doesn’t even let out a humourless laugh or a quip. Dick clings onto a hope.

Batman. Come get me.

BOY WONDER IS STILL LIVING. WHY, THAT’S A JOY. COME OUT THERE LITTLE BLUE BIRD. YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN STAY IN THAT LITTLE BRAIN OF YOURS? WHEN YOU WAKE UP. THAT LEG WILL HURT. YOUR BLOOD WILL SPILL AGAIN ON THAT DARNED LITTLE CREST.

He doesn’t care. The glorious speech does not make him flinch. He looks at the window, one thought crosses his cloudy vision.

Bruce (Dad), come get me.

LET’S HAVE SOME MORE FUN, SHALL WE. EVEN JAYBIRD PLAYED THIS GAME TOO. COME ON, HE HAD FUN. LET’S PLAY BLUE BIRD. BLUE JAY. HMM. I LIKE THAT.

-

Playtime.

Its always target practice. He would lie there and watch Harley swing her mallet here and there, sometimes too close to Dick and she would talk to him, so sweetly.

Aww, you wanna play too? Let’s play together, shall we?

His face will clench up, his head will scream and suddenly everything is loud as Harley fires guns at targets and maybe shoot some arrows at Dick.

On lucky days, he’s used as her gymnast prop.

I want to fly again. Batman I’m falling, please I’d like to fly again. My wings are clipping and I will rip. -

He falls asleep.

You can’t call it sleeping. Dozing in and out of consciousness, he was neither awake or sleeping. A grey haze flittered across his vision. No sign of clarity. He still heard the rattle of his breath, the fire in his leg. The now warm abdomen.

He feels someone at his leg.

Harley Quinn was there, a sly smile as he feels a needle go in and out.

In and out. In and out.

In and out, in and out. You need to breathe Dick. In and out. In and out.

When he hears the door shut and a ricocheting silence, he peeks at his leg.

A sick suturing of his leg stabs with dental floss, a handiwork Harley was sure to boast later on. He doesn’t care if it gets infected. What’s the big deal? Batman will take care of it.

He turns over on his side to his communicator lay. The Nightwing emblem was shattered beyond measure. No matter, I can get a new one. The communication mattered.

He presses the distress signal again, again. Again. Bruce better get that flashing orange light and he should feel his bipolar touch in no time.

He tries to talk, voice hoarse from decreased usage and a rough sandpaper-like quality stuck to it.

“H..hello? Bruce. Dad. Please get me. I’m.. I’m waiting. Please.”

He turns back in his side, curled up like an invited animal.

The rain pours, shadows keep coming in and out but none belong to his dad.

The boy asks the moon if Batman had lost his way. Asked if the moon could shine the light brighter at him so Dad can find him faster. He’ll be okay, he’ll be okay. Bruce might be lost, after all. There’s a lot of streets and time isn’t on anyone’s side.

-

Two weeks go by.

Dick still finds himself bound by the ties and definitely no sign of the caped crusader.

Batman is surely coming.

That thought fades slowly, over the weeks. He’s gotten more used to the Joker and the crowbar.

Is this how Jason felt, when he was in Hell?

Dick cannot remember. Dick only knows how the sound of metal and bones work, how the bullet will hit skin, pierce it through with frightening velocity and dull ache afterwards. The pool of blood will remind him that yes, I was shot.

A sick game of Russian Roulette. Instead of one bullet, there’s multiple. A .44 magnum shouldn’t hurt anymore. The revolver keeps spinning in his mind where acrobats should be. Where’s Bruce. Where’s dad. Am I forgotten?

Dick tried to remember how to breathe. Is it that hard? Just pulling in oxygen and letting the respiration mechanism do its work?

Distract thine self.

He tries to remember. Tries. He’s trying. Nightwing has to do this. You need to at least remember your name. Your mother, your father. Dick. Dick.

Richard. That’s your name. Your mother was beautiful but I don’t know what her hair colour is, sometimes it’s blonde or chestnut and your father was handsome.  You are a Grayson. You have brothers and sisters. Are they Jason? Tim? Da- I don’t remember, I don’t remember the tiny one. Is he even real? Your sisters too. Stephanie, Stephanie. I have one more, the sneaky one. She’s fast but I don’t know her name. I’d like to know her well too. Pity I. I don’t know her name. I hope she knows my name. That way I can hear her voice and maybe figure out who is the charming one. I know she does ballet. I know she made brownies once with.. Who? I don’t remember his name. The old man with cheery wrinkles and deep eyes. I don’t know who he is too. Oh. Oh oh. Dick.

[DANGEROUS TO FALL ASLEEP, RICHARD JOHN ‘DICK’ GRAYSON. EYES. OPEN. EYES. OPEN. BREATHE. (MY LUNGS DON’T WORK)]

I’m begging someone, please. It doesn’t have to be Bruce. Get the ballet girl to help me please, she fast and maybe I can ask her name while she gets me out of here.

-

Bruce never gives up.

You know that too, do you? He’s spent 3 weeks finding his son. His beloved child.

Do you ever think how much Bruce’s heart breaks over and over everyday?

-

“ALFRED?! CAN YOU GET JASON NOW, NOW, NOW?! I FIGURED HIS COORDINATES.”

Bruce flips from the Batcomputer and grabs everything. A blind haste, he’s never dressed so fast. His son. Oh my god, his son.

Jason is down there getting the Batmobile to rev up and they speed.

They speed.

Are they fast?

I guess. If you call 290 in 85 fast.

They run, Jason dashing first and his breath catches in his throat. A cold draught erupts inside of him. He snarls, Bruce turns as he digs through the alleyways. He finds what he knows lurks.

“The sick fucker is going to end Dick in the same fucking warehouse he ended me in. That big bitch.

Bruce puts one hand on his shoulder and squeezes. No time to panic, Dick is the one. is the unsaid message as Jason crashes through the window.

And even him, Red Hood. The one who sees and commits murder everyday, stops and hot anger sears through him.

Dick lies, barely 15 feet away, bound up and covered in his own blood, the ripped Nightwing suit from his recon mission. Bruce picks him up while Jason gladly punched (and secretly plugged a bullet) the fuck out of Mistah J and Harley.

They lie on unconscious, Jason evaluates the scenes, trying to suppress his screams at what they’ve done to Grayson.

Bruce picks up Dick like he’s glass, he hurries to the Batmobile with Jason telling to prepare the Medbay.

"The Medbay.. I.. I don’t think. Leslie. Leslie can.”

Is all Bruce says and Jason revs up, driving the Batmobile way beyond the legal limit. Bruce doesn’t give a flying banana about it. He’ll pay the fine later.

Bruce looks down at his son, hoping he hasn’t fallen asleep yet. Finally, finally Dick is in the arms of the crusader. Half his domino mask is ripped and Bruce tries to not break at the baby blues staring without any light-hearted gaze.

His heart still beats (A reminder he’s alive and could’ve been more alive. Bruce failed him)

“LESLIE. DR THOMPKINS!”

Jason screeches across and marching in, earning angry stares  from the other patients but it turns into gasps and horror when they see Batman carry a limp Nightwing barely clad in spandex anymore. Everyone bows out, knowing they were priority.

-

Something inside Dick broke.

He doesn’t know what it is.

He’ll live with it.

-

“Bruce, he’s fallen into a coma.”

Leslie says, solemn. Angry tears form in Jason’s eye and he was about to fight Bruce, give him the tirade. Compare him to Nightwing.

The unspoken message rings loudly in Bruce’s mind. He doesn’t need Jason to say it.

You failed him too.

Jason is seething, anger. Sadness a d everything is violating him from inside.

If you were a minute later, he would’ve died. We would’ve been carrying his body to the grave. The Joker would still live. You see the problem? DO YOU NOT SEE THE FUCKING PROBLEM?

Bruce sits beside Dick, his pulse like a fluttering butterfly. He grasps his hand in Duck’s fragile one and prays.

Prays that he wakes up.

-

Dick is on a life support machine now.

I guess the ventilator couldn’t keep him up. All good boys do die. If not, maybe a part of them broke.

Dick is no exception.

-

Alfred squeezes Bruce’s hand. Jason sits so quietly beside him alongside the rest of the family.

Its April 27th. Jason was taken this day.

They don’t say a word, neither does Red Hood, he just wants the baby blue eyes to open again.

He cries.

-

Five months have gone by and he stirs slowly.

He’s barely moving and Jason shoots up and looks, squeezes Dick’s hand again.

Baby blues meet emerald green.

Jason dashes for Leslie. She comes and shoos everyone out.

Jason is fucking glad. Dick is alive.

-

Bruce is disappointed.

He cannot bring himself to meet Dick who’s currently in the ward under observation. He’s failed Dick. He knows it.

He enters, heavy hearted. Dick is smiling at everyone but Bruce can see it, the hard lines. The sunshine doesn’t reach the baby blues. He thinks they’ve turned into aquamarine, a shade tad too dark. I guess, that’s what trauma does to people.

Dick smiles at Bruce, he feels the tension and Dick pats the chair beside him where Jason was sleeping. Bruce softly sits, he has no heart to wake Jason up.

Dick is alive. Dick is alive.

Bruce places one hand on Grayson’s one, it feels much more warmer and his pulse is beating normally.

And he breaks.

He cries, tears steaming down his cheeks. An ugly sound escapes his throat. Bruce gasps in air and exhales shakily. Dick watches, silent.

Is this how you felt when I was in Hell?

Dick doesn’t touch Bruce, doesn’t say its okay and I’m alive. He stares dead into Bruce.

I cannot forgive.

Dick sits quietly, he doesn’t have to say it. Loyalty does kill you in the end if you step on all the wrong pieces of glass.

That’s when you find yourself falling from the trapeze line, you find yourself swirling again in the memories you wish you could lock.

Loyalty in the end, is your demise.

[hoodedwing]

Turn This Ship Around (Jason x Tim)

Summary: Tim keeps a camera on him because sometimes, he’s afraid of forgetting.

Characters: Jason (Freeform), Tim (not Robin), Nightwing (brief mentions), Batman, Joker (brief because crowbars), Alfred (brief mentions)

Warnings:  Swearing. Major Character Death mentions. Self-harm. Blood. Injury description. idk is there sexual tension? sexual tension it is. they’re like not siblings in this fic (sorry this is my first fic anyway!)

Additional Notes: Title is a song -> Turn This Ship Around by Hallman, Tape Machines ft Andy Delos Santos. I will only use select lyrics throughout the fic. Do listen to it!

Word Count:  2,909 words

***

He caught their shadows against the dreary backdrop of Gotham. It wasn’t hard to spot him, clad in the Robin insignia as he swung with relative ease. Tim notes this Robin had significant muscle mass than the previous one. The previous one was slimmer, graceful and his movements were fragile but his laughter betrayed Tim’s anxiety whenever he was at the literal edge doing a crazy somersault. This new Robin fascinated Tim more as he saw how he filled the outfit more than the ex-Robin.

He last caught the ex-Robin in a heated argument with Batman and the words I quit, Batman  .

Shaking his head to rid the memory, he grabs his camera and quickly opens the window, letting out a small hiss at the freezing air of Gotham. Sliding out and nimbly getting down through the ladder he kept exclusively for these very escapades, he glanced at Batman and the new Robin and followed them quietly.

Snow melts on his bare skin, robbing the heat away from him as Tim shivered involuntarily while catching a few pictures. He snapped away when Batman and Robin circled Poison Ivy. He snapped again when Robin delivered a roundhouse kick straight at her. He snapped away when Robin was smirking at him.

Wait. Shit, I’m compromised.

Tim quickly thumbs through the last picture, heart beating erratically as the face of Robin greeted him. The tilt of his head revealed a cheerful scowl and baby fat surrounding his chin. Tim internally cheers at this prize as the polaroid came out. He had zero time to wait for the photo to develop as he tried to get away but he couldn’t get himself to stop shaking in the cold. Tim wills against his body but it didn’t budge. Feebly, he tries warming himself with his thin fingers but they didn’t move at all. Tim feels the cold go through him, gripping him in a vice grip as he shook, the frigid air searing his lungs. Tears gather in his eyes, partly because he’s a mess.

His thought loop was broken by a sudden heat. Tim looks up and sees the smiling face again who draped the thick blanket onto his shaky form. Robin takes a seat  opposite Tim, crossing his muscled legs and cheekily laughs at Tim’s increasingly reddened face.

“It’s okay! Dad’s away with Commish dealin’ with Ivy. We’re safe!”

I don’t even know how we got here.

“S..sorry.”

Robin gently thumbs Tim’s face. He leans into the warm, gloved hands.

“That’s okay! Stop apologisin’ You sound like Di-Nightwing!”

Tim cracks a small smile. Robin’s gaze lingers to the carefully cradled camera.

“Well, what ya got there? Do you like birds? Is it a hobby?”

“Yeah. I like photography. Helps me photo what I want to remember. So I don’t ever forget.”

Robin starts doing little circles with his fingers on his palms as he poses.

“Take one!”

Tim’s breath hitches. He’s got a chance. A chance to immortalize a memory. He snaps a picture and shows it to Robin who hugs Tim and laughs.

A booming voice interrupts them.

“Robin!”

Tim ducks away, quickly contorting himself to blend with the shadows of the alleyway. Robin waves Tim goodbye and darts to Batman. He waits for the rev of the Batmobile, the squealing of tires trying to grip more firmly on iced roads and then the fading of their voices.

He sits down again and finds the picture of Robin doing the cheeky pose again, in full technicolor. He memorizes every line, every inch of Robin till he’s sure he can draw him from memory alone.

A new friend.

——

“Listen Robin, stay here. It’s not safe.”

“Da-Batman. He’s gonna get away! We gotta-”

“Robin! LISTEN! The Joker is incredibly dangerous. Please stay. Can you promise me that?”

Robin is chest-level at Batman, yet his gaze was right into Batman’s cowl.

“Fine.”

Batman shot his grapple gun and swung upwards, leaving Robin to his own devices as he started to rock back and forth on his heels, hands behind his back.

“I can hear you, camera boy.”

Tim embarrassingly creeps out of the shadows to meet a grinning Robin.

“Dang it! How’d you know?”

“Y'know camera boy. You never told me your name.”

Tim looks at Robin. The traffic light outfit was replaced by crimson red bleeding throughout his suit. His face hasn’t lost all that baby fat. The beginnings of a devilishly handsome jaw appear, teasing at the man he’d most likely grow up into. Tim feels hot inside as he absentmindedly rubs his own jawline. He notes that the scaly panties were outgrown, pants taking over. Robin lazily watches the hallway where an abandoned warehouse was connected to.

He drags out a cigarette, Tim’s eyes pop wide out of their sockets at Robin lighting it up and him taking a long drag.

“Want one?”

“Of course not! That stick kills.”

“True.” He takes a long drag. “Wonder what kills me faster." 

"A lot of things do, Robin.”

Robin stubs the cigarette as he casually leans back and observes Tim through the white lenses of his domino mask. He was rather thin for a thirteen year old but he did have muscles in the right places. His eyes, a deep ocean were focused at his sleeves pulling over his wrists. Robin gently trails across his fingers onto the wrists where angry red lines met his eyes. He quickly snatches his fingers back. Tim curls in on himself, head pressed against his palms.

“Sorry! I’m so sorry. Tim, look at me.”

Tim pries his palms away, eyes filled with tears of shame as he looks away. He couldn’t meet Robin in the eye. What was he supposed to say?

Tim suddenly feels a gentle grip on his fingers and he registers he’s touching scarred skin. His eyes trepidatiously move to the source and he sees identical marks on Robin’s exposed skin.

Nothing but waves, and they’re spilling in

“See, Tim. You aren’t alone. Do you want a hug?”

Tim reluctantly leans into Robin and feels arms encircle him. He inhales the warm and oil scent like he spent time with cars in the garage. Hands gently stroke his hair and circle his back.

“You didn’t tell me your name, Robin.”

Robin turns to Tim whose eyes are partially closed, on the brink of giving into sleep.

“Jason.”

“That’s” Tim yawns, “a good name, y'know?”

“People tell me that all the time. Just don’t tell anyone my name.”

“Pinky promise. Don’t tell anyone about ..uh..you know.”

Tim falters, his voice an octave higher.

“I'mma take your secret to my grave.”

Jason smiles imperceptibly at Tim and plants a cheeky kiss on his forehead. Tim smiles, eyes closed. He clips off his cape and gently wraps it around Tim. He hides him in the corner for fear of compromising him as well.

Suddenly, something catches the corner Jason’s eye. He sneakily jumps and dashes after it. The something in question is an evil cackle with a grin.

Nobody hears anything from Jason again.

A loud explosion shakes Tim out of his sleep. Blearily, his eyes trail towards flames, licking the remnants of a warehouse now scattered in a haphazard manner. Rebar had collected together in one location. He props himself on one elbow, snapping a photo in case the police do look for witnesses.

He sees a caped man frantically pushing away at the rebar, the rubble and..

Tim’s breath dies in his constricted throat.

Batman cradles Jason in his arms. Tim cannot see the difference between his skin and suit because goddamn everything was red, red, red. His left eye was swollen shut and his arms were in an unnatural position.

Tim bites back tears, his friend.

He’s gone.

——

“Lighten up, Tim. The Waynes pay fucking handsomely for good photos. You’re the best among us, ain’t I right?”

Tim snorts back at his colleague’s remark as he packs the equipment and sorts out the tripods. He mentally checks against his list before satisfyingly clicking the bag shut and loading it into his car.

Turn around one eighty degrees and cross this sea

“Tim. Relax buddy. Who knows. You could get connections to further publicize your work. Maybe you could meet someone your type there. I’m sure there are plenty of handsome and sexy guys there.”

He elbows Tim cheekily who’s face flushes in embarrassment. He wouldn’t admit at face value but his colleague was right.

Steeling himself, he starts the engine and drives to Wayne Manor, hoping everything happens with minimal drama.

——

Red Hood clicks the safety clip of his gun on and holsters it back into his belt as he swung his way back from dealing with another round of goons. His helmet had all but shattered at an awkward angle. He tested his shoulder, it was still slightly sore after a vicious stab but it was bleeding sluggishly. The moment he twisted his leg, he bit back a yelp. He recognized the pain enough to know it was a bullet lodged in it. He felt his body was aflame from scalp to toe.

Home was going to be a little difficult to get to. He tries recalling the nearest safehouse

He swung against the Gotham air, mostly cold. It was always cold in Gotham. He closed his eyes, taking in the cold feeling.

He momentarily felt the sensation of falling but he was too out of it to care.

——

Tim parked the car at the imposing gates of the Manor. He absentmindedly rubbed his palms together and unlocked the trunk. He heard ballroom music, could smell the pricey champagne and hear booming laughter.

He felt extremely out of place as the butler came outside, a polite smile grazing his aged face.

“Greetings! Do take your time. I’ll come back in ten minutes to escort you to the Gala.”

“Sure thing.”

That butler sure walks real fast. No bother

Tim tests his camera again, clicking photos to see if the shutter speed was appropriate enough. He thumbs through the pictures when a loud crash startles him and the camera slips.

“Oh shit, not right before I walk in!”

Tim curses as he spots the camera when he sees blood seep towards his hand. A gloved hand lay very still beside it. Freezing, he squats a little and touches it, a soft groan is all he got.

He squeaked and stumbled back. The infamous Red Hood lay right in front of him, chest slowly rising and falling with shallow breaths.

“H..Hey? Uh..”

Red Hood’s visible eye opened where the helmet shattered from the earlier standoff. Tim could see the domino mask torn where a stunning but toxic green eye faced back. Tim felt something go through him because he looked so much like.

Jason

“Kid..Ge..get away.”

“I’m a fully grown adult, asshole. What happened?”

“Can’t you like..call an ambulance or something?”

“Listen idiot. I don’t know if its the blood loss or your brain is wacky from your little run-in but the hospital WILL turn you in. You’re a criminal, y'know? This is Gotham”

Red Hood snorts, then grunts because the laugh pulls at the broken ribs.

“Can you hold on for a minute, I need to call someone real quick. To take over me, I..I was supposed to snap some pictures at the Gala. Gotta have my friend do it since you’re here”

“Jeez, stop panicking and dial for him, her, them I don’t know who.”

Tim rolls his eyes upwards and quickly dials a friend as he produces a handkerchief in the other hand to stun the bleeding from the shoulder laceration. Red Hood sighs and closes his eyes.

“Don’t sleep, head wound.”

Red Hood only hums in response. Tim flicks his exposed forehead.

“Can you get up for me, I can bandage you enough so you can get home and do the rest.”

Red Hood grunts in affirmative and lets out a pained mewl when Tim struggles to finally  get him up.

“God, you’re heavy.”

Tim’s colleague comes by as he walks in, winking at him. Tim secretly sees the conversation as the colleague explained why Tim wasn’t here anymore to the butler who had a look of understanding.

The gates shut with a bang, Red Hood shivers.

My home just closed on me, Tim.

——

After heaving a relieved sigh, Tim puts Red Hood down behind the alleyway just two streets down from the imposing Manor

“You’re lucky I keep first aid kits on me.”

He guessed Red Hood was too out of it to answer or being a dickhead. He cuts his Kevlar with the Swiss Army knife he has, cursing when the blade ended up damaged after he successfully cut it.

Tim frowns at the injuries littering his body. He takes the bandage roll and gently wrapped it around Red Hood’s ribs.

“O..Ow.”

“Sorry.”

“Mkay.”

Tim’s hands shake as he takes a pair of tweezers to try and take the bullet out.

“I have no anesthesia. It’s gonna hurt.”

Red Hood quietly nods as he takes his time to properly gaze at his savior (luck). He was way too thin for a man his age. He guessed he was a good twenty-two. His eyes trails down his eyes where tired blues greet him back. Jason froze.

He knows these blues.

He’s memorized the hue. He knows it like the back of his hand.

This wasn’t any man.

God, it was him. Wasn’t it?

He wanted to double check. Make sure he’s not hallucinating. His hands gently brush Tim’s ones and he spots the faded cuts on his wrist.

He remembers the conversation he had. Comparing the scars, he knows it’s him.

“T..Tim?”

Tim snaps up from where he finished his little medical procedure, cold running down his spine.

“The fuck?”

He backs away, back against the other wall. Right opposite him is a man who knows him. How the hell does he know him? He’s never met him, never got into an altercation with him.

Gotham is so weird and I need coffee.

“Tim, look at me. Can you breathe slowly for me? You’re hyperventilating.”

Tim nods, head leaned against the cold wall as he tries to match Red hood’s breathing.

“Y'know. You kinda remind me of that Robin. The funny one. Smoked like he didn’t care. He..”

Red Hood’s ears prick up, he knows where this was going to end. He knows Tim’s talking about him. Him. Oh my God, was he there when the warehouse-

Tim suddenly shoves his head between his legs.

“I saw him die. I never got to say bye, y'know? He.. I saw Batman and he.. he cried. I never saw so much red. All over him.. his fucking arm was bent.”

Tears run down his face and he pathetically wheezes in some air into his constricted lungs.

“I thought maybe we’d grow up enough to meet freely w..without all the   hidden vigilantism thing. He’d.. he promised. He was so calm. I really..really loved him. I..God, sorry I ramble too much.”

You are all that I need

“Tim.”

Tim is still bent, hands covering his eyes.

Did he just have a fucking meltdown in front of Red Hood?

Yep, his day was very dramatic.

“Tim. Take off my helmet.”

Tim looks up, momentarily confused.

“Do it. No, there’s no booby traps or anything. It deactivated.”

Tim shakily crawls towards Red Hood, he does a quick look at his guns resting in the holster. The safety was on His hand was bandaged so even if he tried to shoot Tim right then and there, Tim could still wrestle the gun out of his compromised hand.

Tim’s hands grip the helmet as he releases the latch. It gives way to a soft hiss.

Nothing about the rest of him was soft.

Tousled raven met with a sharp white. Tim has zero clue whether that was on purpose or a hair-dying accident. Now he had a proper look at his eyes. Teal swam with green and glowed eerily. His nose had been broken couple of times with lips stretched into a thin, hard line with a whisper of a smile at the tips.

Tim’s eyes went wide.

‘Surprised?“

"How the fuck are you alive? I saw your dead body in Batman’s arms.”

“Turns out climbing out of a grave wasn’t bad enough, Lazarus fucked me over. That shit is apparently real.”

Tim touches Jason’s face just to check he’s real. He’s alive.

His friend was back. It felt fucking amazing. Tim hugs Jason, buries his head below his neck.

“So, Timmers. Can I call you Timmers? What did you say about loving me, missing me?”

Jason grinned evilly. Tim turned a deep red.

“Hey! I can explain. Wa..wait-mmph!”

Jason tipped Tim’s face towards his, gently kissing him. Tim, light-headed, gives into it as he awkwardly runs his hands down Jason’s back. Euphoria takes over him as he lets out a small gasp when Jason runs his calloused fingers through Tim’s thick mane.

“J..Jason.”

“Say Timmers. Wanna go for ice cream?”

“You’re still in your uniform, dork.”

“We get discounts down that ice cream shop, they give thirty percent off when you’re with a vigilante.”

Tim helps Jason up again, laughing at Jason talking about Neapolitan and how he fucking missed it as they walk slowly to where Tim’s car was left behind.

“I missed you. So damn much.”

I will not let us fade away

[hoodedwing]

Scarred Hands

Summary: Jason helps everyone through bad days.

Characters: Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Bruce, Alfred

Warnings : Major Character Death mentions, breakdowns, mourning over a character, i think there’s swearing too (but all my fics would have some swear in it though)

Additional Notes: Just wanted Dick to lose his shit with Bruce I guess and Jason just tags a long and becomes good ole’ big bro

Word Count: 1,294 words

***

He can’t press the button.

It sits nicely in his hand, fitted perfectly. The number pad worn with age and most likely, had seen better days. The screen cover or what was left of it was peeling at the edges.

Damian had a better phone, way better.

Why did he still hold on to this phone then? What was the attraction, the strange magic that pulled him to this  point where he his finger is still hovered over the button?

Press # for emergencies

The automated voice message said it again, familiarity burned at the edges. Obviously because Jason was the one who gave him the damn phone.

He gave it to his three other brothers too, not exactly give but rather sneak it into their pockets.

How he’d sneaked it, Damian had no clue.

He had a mission tomorrow which needed his full attention and he had spent the whole week staying up by doing research, compiling evidence and constant patrols.

He was tired, his brain felt heavy, darkness sweetly lingering at the edges. The ceiling light suddenly became brighter and he covered his eyes, with his free arm and hissed.

His hand accidentally presses the button and suddenly he hears a gruff voice, gentle in its own

“Demon spawn?”

Damian whimpers and turns on his side, taking the phone under his head and mumbles.

“Stop it.”

“Well you called, what’s up?”

He hears Damian sighing and trying to sleep so Jason listens silently. He didn’t have to say anything. At one point, Damian really thought Jason had declined the call but his name was still on the caller ID.

Jason listened carefully on the phone, Damian’s finally even breathing and soft, imperceptible snores. He almost smiles down at the phone.

“Night.”

He whispered softly down the phone and cut it.

-

Tim is at Wayne Enterprises (WE)

He absolutely fucking hates it right now because a co-worker has picked out some mysterious ‘flaws’ and explaining to him why she thought the proposal was questionable.

He is this close to losing it while trying to tune out the woman’s voice.

“This time frame is too small, I’m afraid they won’t have enough time. Considering that there is a gala this evening-”

Oh fuck, there’s a gala to go to tonight?

Tim almost jolts. Just to make sure he isn’t hallucinating, he sneakily looks at his phone and sees a message reminding him about tonight’s Gala from Alfred.

Right on time, Alfred. Tim thought.

Tim sighs, places a hand on his head as the woman continues with her mock speech. Luckily for him, her phone rang and she left the room.

Tim slid a deadbolt into the damn door after that.

Peace

He blinks and sees the world in double and rubs his eyes again. He lies quietly on the table for awhile.

His hand was in his coast’s pocket, he tried to find his phone but accidentally found the other one.

“What-”

Tim quizzically stares at it, trying to make sense of this mess. The phone was old, he knew. Less advanced equalled to less apps to contact from. These kind are favoured by mercenaries or assassins, it was easier to remove your trail, fast.

That meant only one possibility.

Jason

Tim allows a moment to appreciate Jason’s skill. How he had slid it into his pocket, he didn’t know and he’s impressed.

He picks around the phone, trying to figure out whether it was bugged (because Jason is creative, he managed to get Tim to sleep once just by a lethal and calculated mark by a transquilizer.)

His finger accidentally presses #

“Yeah?”

Oh shit, where’s the end call button?

“Tim?”

The gruff voice was coloured with a tinge of audible concern, distant sounds of grappling hooks and gunfire was heard.

“Uh-”

Tim has no idea what to say to him, that he accidentally pressed a button because he was too damn curious and could get Jason killed again because his attention is also diverted to him?

“I..I’m so sorry-”

“Bad day, Timmy?”

Okay, now he’s also a mind reader. Lazarus does strange things to you.

“No”

“Liar”

He’s a polygraph now? I can’t believe this

“Timmy, if it’s stress at work or there’s dead ends, you better drag your ass to the alleyway outside. I’m there.”

Tim decides that it wasn’t a bad idea, what’s the harm in meeting him?

Probably being stabbed by a batarang and becoming a headline Wayne Enterprises CEO found murdered by a child’s toy or Timothy Jackson Drake found impaled by a strange contraption, are there aliens coming? Is this a sign?

Tim politely excuses himself and leaves the office, he exits and turns left to walk another ten minutes. People walking by gave him small smiles obviously because he’s a business figure.

He walks another ten minutes and reaches the alleyway, he kicks off his pointed dress shoes and sits, resting his feet at one side.

“Those shoes sure hurt, you better buy new ones soon Timbers.”

Tim stood up surprised and almost stumbled back, a pair of firm hands grasp around his waist, too tight for his good.

It leaves Tim breathless and he kneels over slightly from the sudden. Jason lifts him slowly and places him on his lap. Tim fumbles and leans his head against Jason’s figure and slowly sinks in.

Into the comfort.

He doesn’t know he’s fallen asleep until he wakes up in his own bed with warm food beside him.

-

Dick cannot dare.

Dick is supposed to be the glue of the family, he’s supposed to be the one that’s keeping his shit together.

But he can’t.

Bruce is fucking dead, his (adoptive) dad is dead. Gone.

And he can’t even get up, he’s lying on his bed, absolutely miserable, not even taking calls from Barbara.

In short, he’s cut out his entire connection with the world. He’s skipped patrol with Tim and Damian for a whole week, he’s stopped watching his shows and eating his food.

He’s tired.

He doesn’t know why, all the energy is sucked out of him. He cannot seem to push himself up.

Not yet.

Until this big lump of human is outside his room and watches him lie in his thoughts. The man seemed familiar.

And he enters.

“Dickie, what the hell?”

Jason puts his hand on Dick, who’s eyes are red from a recent bout of crying. He gives Dick a glass of cold water.

“Look at me.”

His firm hands grip Dick’s leaner muscled shoulders and he reluctantly looks. Jason could see he looks worse up close.

Breakdowns suck, a lot.

“Dick, you gotta move on. I know-”

“You don’t know Bruce.”

He simply states, eyes staring ahead.  He’s telling the truth, or maybe not.

Jason had seen the various shades of Bruce. Caring and the next second, colder than ever. So Dick was so, so wrong about his answer.

“Hating someone doesn’t mean I don’t know him Dick. He meant a lot to you, I’m not invalidating your grief, I need you to grieve properly. You gotta get back someday, Blüdhaven needs some ass kicking.”

Dick smiles with tear-stained cheeks and Jason hugs him suddenly, because he’s been in the same position before. He’s caught himself in a breakdown before but no one ever held the broken pieces while he cried himself to sleep.

He knew how Dick felt.

“Take your time Dickie, I’ll take over for you for now till you’re okay.”

Dick smiles thinly and sits, watching Jason wear back his boots to leave through the window but not without wiping away his fingerprints.

Jason leaves quietly, hoping Dick wouldn’t mind his sudden disappearance. He couldn’t afford to stay for long.

There’s no rest for the weary.

[hoodedwing]

Babybird, please?

Summary: Jason returns to Gotham after a year-long sabbatical at his Arkansas safehouse. Nothing has changed in Gotham, but he probably did.  Dick realizes and puts the pieces together to make a horrible discovery.

Characters: Red Hood, Nightwing. Roy Harper (brief mentions). Cheshire (brief mentions), Lian Harper(brief mentions)

Warnings: Drinking. Injury flashbacks (we’re looking at an event gone too far). Anger issues. Also, swearing but from the last dude you’d expect.

Additional Notes: Jason deserves a happy Christmas and yep, I wrote this after Christmas so sue me. Also this seemed a little choppy to me

Word Count: 1,306 words

***

Christmas had long gone by and left trees still adorned with tinsel and other décor. It was supposed to keep people in a cheery mood, keep away the post-Christmas blues and amp Gothamites for New Year in an otherwise gloomy town.

It didn’t do the trick for Jason. With his hands shoved in his leather jacket, he kept his head low and speed fast, nimbly dodging excited throngs exchanging the occasional cheers and here’s to a happy new year, folks. Snow crunched under his boots as he rounded the corner to a bar.

Quietly, he sat down and warmed down a bit. A bartender amicably approached Jason who mumbled.

“Whisky, make it extra strong.”

Nodding, the bartender left. Jason drew himself closer, making his presence as small in possible. His eyes kept shifting to not spot a certain Dark Knight or at least (for small mercies) Bruce Wayne as another civilian. A rich and seemingly happy civilian who was often seen ruffling his sons’ hair and chatting away. 

The last time Jason saw Bruce, there wasn’t a happy civilian, no stroking of hair.

There was a batarang at his neck.

Jason absentmindedly rubs the faint scar as the bartender placed the alcohol in front of him. He pushes spare change with his other gloved palm and nods imperceptibly. He takes a small sip, lets the whisky warm him up internally and space out awhile.

He wasn’t supposed to be in Gotham but Jason was a rebel. A rebel since childhood. It’s probably the rebellion that kept him alive in Crime Alley’s dark and unlit paths. Paths even Batman would be scared shitless to enter himself, even when armed with his fancy toys up to the teeth.

He suppresses what he believed was probably anger or a by-product because man, today the whisky was definitely strong. He felt a little light-headed at the kick of it but it was good, it distracted him from the fact he returned to Gotham from Arkansas for Christmas.

He never celebrated Christmas outside Gotham. It seemed strange to suddenly break the tradition. Some things shouldn’t change, it probably does alter a person entirely. With the whole shitshow of a showdown on the rooftop with Batman, he probably didn’t want to go even remotely close to them. 

Nope, not even touching five streets near them

He finished the rest of his drink before his thought loop threatened to swallow him whole with old memories. Trudging outside the snow, he thought about calling Roy.

Maybe check in with him?  

See how Cheshire and Lian were? 

He hoped Lian didn’t mind too much about his absence on her fourth birthday that year. She was a sweet girl in such a cruel world, Jason could only hope she would still retain that sweetness under such a caring dad.

Dad

God, Jason really hated that word. Reminded him of Willis but Bruce wasn’t that much of a dad to him either. The word tasted acrid on his tongue, almost unnatural, like it didn’t belong there.

Is it bad he sometimes longed for dad?

Somebody suddenly knocks into him, pretty hard by the shoulder and distracts Jason from his second thought loop of the day. Bags spill everywhere and Jason isn’t sure where the pavement is anymore from under all the obnoxiously wrapped gifts and overly expensive-looking bags.

‘“Sorry! I’m in such a hurry. I missed Christmas with my family. Kinda sucks actually”

“No bother.”

Jason rasped a little, voice unrecognizable as he bent down to help pick up the scattered mess. He quickly shoves the gifts into each bag till some names caught his eye.

For Damian. 

For Tim

For Bruce

Jason’s heart stops.

He doesn’t have to look at the rest of the gifts to know who it was for.

“Hey, is everything alright?”

A hand outstretches towards Jason who takes it and held with more force than necessary. He heard the man let out a small ouch.

“Thanks man. Hey, if its too much, can I drop you anywhere? It’s really cold out here today. My car is a street down, we can stop by for donuts and hot coffee?”

Jason momentarily looks up and the man lets out a gasp.

“J.Jason?”

He looks the other direction, angry that he’s betrayed himself to look up to the voice because he knows its Dick and older brothers would keep younger ones safe.

Why does he have to gravitate again? Fall for the same trick? Didn’t Bruce, dad, Batman make it clear?

“What?”

“Offer for donuts and coffee still stands. Come.”

-

Jason finds himself at Dunkin’ Donuts with Dick.

He wouldn’t be here, surrounded by warm coffee and sugar-glazed creations as Dick smiled at him. Jason knows that smile is stretched thin, probably filled with questions 

Where were you on Christmas?

I couldn’t look for you, did you hide somewhere?

We miss you, aren’t we brothers?

He is prepared for all of them till Dick asks the one thing that strikes an arrow.

“Your neck, babybird. Who did that?”

Jason cannot answer, He contemplates lying for a while, testing the silence till he realizes that right now Dick could kick him back out into the lung-freezing cold.

He wouldn’t do that.

Bruce almost killed you. He did that.

“Jay?”

He registers someone’s hand on his shoulder. Jason licks his lips, tests the words. He knew the implications of telling Golden Boy right here and now that Bruce could’ve murdered him though somehow he ended up voiceless for some months instead.

“Bruce.”

Dick’s smile drops from a million kilowatts to one of anger.

“Asshole.”

Jason’s ears pricked up, when did he even pick up swearing?

“Wa-”

Dick held up a finger, commanding Jason into silence and thought through it. His eyebrows further knit in realization when he thought more about it. It seemed to add up.

Bruce returning home, untouched. A brief intercepted transmission of Roy that he’s taking Jason to Arkansas because he frankly looked like he went head-to-toe with Deathstroke. Jason not returning for awhile.

“You didn’t fight back.”

Tears form in Dick’s eyes. The words didn’t sound right to him. The Red Hood not laying even a bruise on Batman?

“You let him hit you!”

Dick cried out, slamming his fists against the table. A few patrons turn briefly to the scene before refocusing back on their own conversations.

Jason turned his head down, of all the people that would come in defense for him, it was Dickie Bird. 

“Jay, he could’ve killed you.”

Again.

“Dick-”

“Don’t Dick me! Where are you staying right now?”

Jason doesn’t bother coming up with a lie anymore.

“Arkansas still.”

Dick considers awhile.

“I can get you a place in Bludhaven. Shift in with me for now while I deal with the bastard.”

“But Bruce-”

Dick angrily turns to Jason.

“You of last people should be giving fucks about what Bruce says or does.”

He almost laughs at the sheer fucking irony of it right now till Dick squeezes Jason’s hand gently and he knows Dick actually means it.

He has a chance at actually living instead of hiding and being on the run for the rest of his life.

“Sure. If that’s okay with-”

“It’s always okay, Jay. Please tell me if things like these happen again. Bruce cannot get away like that. Beating the shit out of you and then prancing away. Jay, I’m so sorry.”

Dick buries his face into his palms and Jason sits there, twisting his hands together.

Till he gathers enough courage to calmly place a hand on Dick’s shoulder.

“Hey? We still have to finish these donuts and I can’t do it alone.”

Dick turns up, eyes red but cheekily smiling back as they devour the donuts on a cold, snowy day.

Except this time, Jason feels warmer than ever.

[hoodedwing]

Lethal Mark

Summary: It was another day at Gotham for everyone till Cassandra gets shot and her deepest fears were revealed.

Characters: Nightwing. Red Hood, Red Robin, Batman, Cassandra Cain, Scarecrow

Warnings: Bullet wound. Shots. Blood. Killing/Murder. Nightmares

Additional Notes: Cassandra Cain is a brave child, that’s all

Word Count: 1,078 words

***

It’s another day at Gotham.

All hell breaks loose, with Scarecrow on the loose, he’s always up to no good, especially with fear toxin.

Red Robin answers the call first, since he happens to be close to the area with Red Hood and Nightwing joining the gang later. The trio battle but today, there were more goons than usual. It had been a while they battled Scarecrow, a probability that he had modified the fear toxin. As prevention, they had carried the antidote in their utility belts but even then, there’s still a risk but they still keep fighting.

Until Tim’s distracted and turns to help Dick who’s trying to fend off a bigger goon, unaware a gun was trained at his head. Jason spots it in a second and yells, telling Red Robin to move.

The gun fires

He hadn’t even fucking turned and a shadow appears, dismantling the gun with quick precision but the bullet flies and lodges into her thigh. The shadow lets out a small grunt and stumbles upon the ground. Her black suit drapes the area haphazardly.

Cassandra

Tim breathes, as Jason successfully ties down a defeated Scarecrow while Dick calls G.C.P.D to clear up the mess.

“Nn.. no”

A soft whimper comes, if one can tell. The person hit was hiding it well, fighting it even. Dick and Jason turn to see Tim lifting Cassandra.

He takes off the cowl and her pale face was on display, sweat beads her forehead and her lips scarlet from being bitten so hard.

Dick tries to break the tension

“Wha-”

“She got hit”

Tim bluntly says, though he said it flat, his hands were trembling slightly. Jason hurriedly injected the antidote.

Cassandra finds herself in front of Tim, Jason and Dick.

She finds herself scanning their weaknesses, evaluating and deciding on the best route to take them down.

And she’s tying up Bruce to make him watch his sons disappear piece by piece, she will gut his heart out and he would choke on the loss.

Cassandra whimpered slightly when Tim lifts her

“She took a bullet for me and she got hurt.”

Tim mumbles, Dick revved the car and Jason dials Alfred to get him to prepare the medbay.

Cassandra finds herself wielding a bayonet, Dick’s back faces her. She takes a plunge and she can hear the hitch, the metallic smell of blood starts to surround and assault her senses. It hangs heavy and it clings to her back like the claws of a predator

“N-no”

The first audible word spoken by Cass and followed by a long, draughty breath. She fidgets.

And Dick is covered in red and the blood doesn’t stop and it keeps flowing, flowing, flowing but I can’t stop it at all.

Cassandra is wielding a crowbar in front of Jason, who’s color has paled a shade tad brighter and she takes a deep, deep breath and hits with a lethal mark.

“Ja-”

Her whimper gets cut off by Dick, who shushes her with a gloved finger and rocks her a bit.

Jason’s heart stutters, his pupils wide-eyed with the punch of adrenaline flooding his system. The hard, outer exterior crumbles to make way for a younger, afraid man. The crowbar strikes a shitty memory, and the sound echoes in his mind, thumping like a jarred melody ripping at the seams.

He covers his ears and barely make out the words he’s screaming to Cassandra, to stop and stop. But her hands never cease but they find a renewed energy and they hit him harder and harder till he’s wheezing. It nicked a lung and now he’s pulling his helmet off, trying to breathe again. He knows it well. He tries to breathe.

He’s underwater but his ankles are chained and he cannot swim up to breathe, his lungs are flat and stubborn. They wouldn’t fill up with air and breathe.

What was wrong with them?

He doesn’t care, he breathes his last.

Tears are fighting to spill down her already paled cheeks. Dick wipes them and says soothing words, gives her his hand and she holds it tight.

She’s still holding him and the thunderous footsteps temporarily drown out her poison-induced nightmares.

She hears Alfred’s voice but it sounds so blurred and it didn’t seem right because it sounded like he was in the ocean and she was miles out south.

And here was Tim, eyes all red but rigid in movement. Tear stains, drying on his cheeks and he accepts his fate. Tim wants to leave, to run but his legs don’t listen. They stay still, pricked and numb. They fell asleep. Tim feels his clothes cling to his skin and the small, serrated knife draws warms blood. He tastes it on his lips and eyebrows furrow in anger and confusion as Cassandra takes the knife and touches the blood, as though it was a rite in a cult.

She smiles.

He doesn’t like that smile, it radiated everything but innocence in a million ways.

Tim tries to untie himself but he doesn’t turn to see the same knife plunge right into his heart and now the onslaught starts.

Blood.

All seep.

And they seep so deep, his uniform blends with red, cross crossing, staining the black and bleeding with red.

He tries to stay awake but everything is fuzzy at the edges and he gives in.

Bruce cannot stop their deaths, she has done it. And he, he failed again.

She’s suddenly flailing her arms and screaming.

“STOP!”

Two pairs of hands try to keep her down and she keeps hearing her name repeated silently, softly.

A lifeboat in a rough sea.

She awakes now, everything seen a double vision with blurry and she blinks again. Dick, Jason and Tim are in her field of bison and their faces, all a copy of each other.

“Y.. You’re not dead?”

She trembles, tears trickling again. All of them give her a tight hug.

She quietens, small hitches of sobs still coming from her. Alfred kindly places a cup of hot tea. She held it in her hands, the warmth steaming her face in reassurance.

She felt her heart simmer in gratitude when she places the tea aside and grabs everyone (including Jason who repeatedly says no) and hugs them so damn tight.

She rests her head against their chests and feels heartbeats. That’s all she needed. That they were alive and here with her.

She was home.

[hoodedwing]

Sleep, Red Bucket

Summary: Tim and Jason work together on a case. Just that, Jason had a hard week and maybe just 3-4 hours of sleep. 

Characters: Jason, Tim, Alfred (mentions), Avalanche (no, not from X-men. It’s an original enemy for a man named Snow here)

Warnings: Child drug rings, Drugs, Wild night terrors, Unconscious self-harm, Vomiting, Blood, Injuries, Swearing, Implied shipping

Additional Notes: I used way too much references from The Crown and this is a sickfic

Word Count: 2,233 words

***

Tim stretches a little from where he’s sitting on the couch, running his hand through ebony locks as he tapped away on his laptop. He was secretly glad that he managed to sneak out of the Manor, after being ratted out by Jason for not sleeping. He had barely escaped after being coddled by Dick (that man in spandex sure can hug) and hovered over by Alfred. Sighing contently, he closed the webpage he was on and gave a quick glance at the clock.

It was still eleven, nearing towards twelve actually. He knit his eyebrows in slight annoyance, Red Hood and him had arranged to meet at twelve and he wasn’t here yet. Tim assumed Jason probably had a run in with some bitch of a gang or seeing the  kids or whatever he does at Crime Alley. He had long learnt not to touch that area, last time saw him with a batarang held against his throat.

Ironic for someone proclaiming to hate Batman. Tim snorted.

He was well into his thought loop when he heard the sound of metal against his window. Tim’s head shot up and he hastily grabbed his bo-staff laying on the couch opposite him. Silently, he crept towards the curtains and laid to wait. The sound grew louder and he heard irritated whispers or the wind, he couldn’t exactly pinpoint.

The window opened and Tim nearly smashed the intruder’s head from behind when he heard a panicked yell.

“The fuck?!”

Tim breathed a little before yelling back. Oh thank fuck, its Jason only.

“And you couldn’t use the damn door like any other human?”

Jason allowed a snort to escape before walking resolutely  to the couch where he sat down rather heavily and let out a small sigh.

“I died, I’m technically not human or I mean does that count?”

Tim rolls his eyes and settles back on the couch where Jason was laying stretched rather lazily and flipping through the case files, with his hood still on.

“So, as far as I know. Snow has multiple bases in Bludhaven. Wonder how Dickface hasn’t run into him yet.”

“Dick knows him as Avalanche. That’s what he calls himself. Different street names.”

“He’ll fall eventually.”

Tim almost laughs but he cannot exactly tell if Jason was joking or just plaintively didn’t give two fucks. It also sounded a tad more tired.

“Mhm. Anyways, his largest base is pretty near your territory. I think you know it like the back of your hand.”

He offers tentatively, trying to rebalance the edge of tension in the room.

“Yeah. Got it.”

“Do you need-”

“No. He’s on my turf. I get to take him out.”

Jason takes slightly longer than he does to get up.  Tim sees it but doesn’t call him out on it. He really doesn’t want another stab mark. he watches Jason climb out of the window.

“Oh and Jason?”

Jason turns, in zero mood right now because the small throbbing in his head has grown a little.

“What?!”

“Get some shut-eye.”

He scoffs and leaves.

—

Some hours in, Tim decided he wanted coffee so he gets up to go make himself.

He hears a faint rustle and pin drop silence. He quietly grabs the dang bo-staff again. As he creeps along the rooms, he hears the sound getting louder. It sounded like someone was having trouble.

He almost shits himself when he sees Red Hood asleep. In his apartment.

Tim narrows his eyes and does a quick surveillance of Jason’s things. He sees empty cartridges and shell casings lying at his feet

The only physical response was Jason’s head tilting at an angle and soft snores filtered by the Hood.

Huh, he’s back and asleep. Already?

“Jason?”

Tim raised an eyebrow at Jason.

“Mm?”

“Oh good. Just checking if you’re alive.”

Jason turned on himself, curling his legs under himself.

“Al'wys am, Replac'ment. F'k off. Lemme sleep.”

Tim frowned slightly as he inched his hands towards the hood but a gloved hand comes out of nowhere and squeezes Tim’s wrist tightly who now lets out a yelp.

-

Tim pours the coffee but the thoughts of Jason doesn’t leave his mind. Something wasn’t so right about Jason. But then, nothing was ever right with Jason.

Was he bleeding? He did return late from whatever he was up to. He did slur his dreaded nickname. He refused to take off his hood. Was he sick? Did he eat?

He hears a loud scream that interrupts his second thought loop of the night. Tim almost spills the coffee on himself and half stumbles-half runs to the source.

Jason.

“J..Jason?”

Erratic breathing greeted him. Tim steels himself as he nimbly types the correct combination and takes the hood off against Jason’s order. He isn’t about to let someone die in his apartment.

Why does everything have to end up so damn difficult?

Tim barely glances at Jason as he shakes him.

“Jason. Shh. Jason?”

Jason doesn’t comply, the thrashing increases in intensity as he yells his throat raw. He claws his forearms, scratching the scarred skin in nightmare-delirium. He manages to draw blood which gently falls onto the white couch, turning the area into a crime scene wildly in contrast to the source of blood. His eyes were tightly shut, thick black lashes glued to his sweat covered cheeks

Tim restrains Jason, tries to grab his hands but he manages to fucking fling Tim across the table. He crashes at the bookshelf, wincing when his arm whacks against a particularly thick encyclopedia.

Ah, he thought, the pain of knowledge.

He quickly gathers himself and sees Jason thrashing on the couch, whimpering like a wounded animal.

“What the fuck. Jason? Can..can you hear me?”

The whimpers alternate into raw screaming, it leaves Tim’s heart cold and skin prickled. He doesn’t have to know what Jason is thinking. He needs to snap the nightmare loop before he decided his throat was next and he-

Focus, Tim.

Tim rummages everywhere in the apartment, heartbeat loud in his ears. He knows it was best to wait it out but it was almost like it was a loop. He spots a whistle, one from the Charity Games Bruce hosted. Yeah, he remembered that one pretty well. Grayson won the race and he blew the whistle right in his face. Jason laughed and Barbara poked fun at him later on it.

He quickly blows the whistle at Jason who shot up with a frightening velocity. Tim literally held Jason down, stunned into silence.

“Jason?”

He only pinched his nose-bridge, other hand clenching the couch tightly.

“Do you want water?”

“No”

He barely croaked, turning on himself like a wounded animal.

Tim fetches a glass anyway. He also brought some bandages to wrap his forearms. Quietly, he does so, rubbing alcohol into it alternated with small flinches. When the procedure was done, Tim stepped back a little.

Jason turned on himself again, shaking. His eyebrows were drawn in pain, breaths almost wheezing. His face was now alarmingly pale and eyebags almost like bruises cover below his tired eyes

Tim didn’t know what to say to him. Jason might shoot down all chances to talk about it.

“I’m going to take your temperature, is that okay?”

No answer.

Tim awkwardly fumbles around, he needed distraction to come up with a way to talk about it. There was no way he was leaving Jason in that terrifying loop he saw.

He knew he had the latest state-of-the-art thermometer that took temperatures in seconds but he chose the mercury one to buy time he needed to calm himself. He returns back to Jason who sat up again, hand resting under his chin.

“I’m not sick.”

A whisper barely above the rattling of the heater.

“I still need to check, I haven’t ruled out fever dream. You look like shit.”

“Course.”

Jason lets Tim do it as he quietly counts to the 180th second. Tim removes it and sees it at 96.

“That’s cold.”

“Anemic.”

“Oh, that wasn’t in your files. I’ll add that in later.”

Jason lies down again and his eyes flutter closed. Tim properly gives Jason a onceover, he looked almost vulnerable underneath the glinting armor.

“You haven’t eaten, have you?”

His eyes open slightly again, eyes squinting at Tim’s undisguised worry.

“Won’t stay down.”

Tim bit his lip. This was bad.

“Can you handle some soup?”

“Try to, can’t promise.”

Tim gets up to reheat the soup Alfred left for him two nights ago but something in him nags to not leave Jason alone with his thoughts. He puts on The Crown and unpaused at where Queen Elizabeth hears about Jackie Kennedy’s unflattering comments about her.

Tim quickly takes the soup out and shoves it in the microwave. The mission could wait another day or two. He had checked the camera feeds momentarily and saw zero sign of the target.

The microwave beeped and he takes it out, carefully pouring into two bowls and bringing it to the living room where he now sees Elizabeth doing the foxtrot.

Tim places the soup at the table and gives one to Jason who cradles one in his arms, eyes unseeing at the television. Tim carefully watches Jason’s face. His cheekbones had hollowed slightly and were clenched. Probably an aftereffect defense mechanism. Tim thinks.

“Do you feel like throwing up again?”

An imperceptible shake as his eyes glue at Philip yell at Charles while dangerously maneuvering the plane with tears streaking down Charles’ face. Tim sees something momentarily shift in Jason at dad yelling at son.

Oh shit, trigger, trigger, trigger.

Tim abruptly switches off the television. This time, Jason properly turns at Tim.

“Why?”

Tim narrowed his eyes.

“Its..nothing, Jason. Not letting you go through that hell I saw.”

“Funny you say that, been happening for two weeks straight.”

Jason spits it with vitriol. Tim physically feels the force of the words. Biting, cold, hard. He moves back, as if the force displaced him. How the hell did Jason still have enough strength to do that? a half of Tim wondered.

He tried to open his mouth but settled to stretching his lips into a thin line.

“I said don’t-”

“I’m not about to fucking ask or clarify anything remotely related to what just transpired. Listen to me carefully, all I want to know is whether you’re sleeping enough. Yes or no?”

Tim hissed, chin dipping down with practiced ease. Jason seemingly curls onto himself more before grumbling, this time lacking the usual bite.

“Three in four days. Fuckers won’t stop fucking recruiting kids on my territory to sell drugs. The hell am I supposed to do? Sleep while the kids get roped in a sick fuck of a game?”

Tim nods in understanding, clearly regretting his outburst. He watches Jason sag heavily against the couch and tip his head back. His eyes were pinched shut this time with his jaw tightening with more of the earlier tension Tim noted. He laid a hand on Jason’s temple and carefully, he inched his hand throughout his head, warm fingers making their way through. He hears small sighs of relief when he reaches the sides. Tim slowly maneuvers Jason onto his lap and continues to stroke his sweaty bangs. Jason only winces again at the bright, florescent lights

“Headache?”

“Mhm.”

He turns on himself, groaning quietly. he places an arm over his eyes. Tim continues to massage his temples, rubbing reassuring circles.

“How bad?”

“…”

“Want painkillers?”

Jason shakes his head, lights glaring in his eyes and everything spinning.

“Hate..meds. You know..that.”

Tim seemed to consider that but got off the couch.

“Be right back, I’ll dim the lights.”

Jason almost whimpers again at the lack of heat of Tim’s fingers as the dull throbbing increased and pounded behind his eyes. Jason wished he could will the damn thing to stop, if he could only sleep it away without the fucking nightmares. He curled on himself for the umpteenth time that night, wishing he was dead again.

He feels a dip in the couch and then firm fingers return, pressing hard. Jason gasped out.

“T..Tim.”

“Sorry. Is this better?”

Tim apologetically whispers as he decreases the pressure against the wild throbbing. Jason silently hummed in agreement and leaned into the touches.

“Sorry, I overstayed.. I should go.”

“You would, if you slept enough. How many hours did you get just yesterday alone?”

“Got here right after the run-in with Snow and be'fre was the druggists.”

Tim narrowed his eyes while Jason closes his, worn out by the small conversation.

“What about you?”

He smiles a little at that, always caring about someone else before himself.

“Alfred made me sleep two nights ago at the Manor. I hid out here to find that intel.”

“T'hts n'ce.”

Tim places his hand on Jason’s shoulder and watches as Jason’s breathing evens out into soft snores. He threw on a blanket and quietly took his laptop to begin work, the soft blue glow illuminating the room.

“Tim?”

Jason sleepily opens one eye to where Tim settled down with his laptop. He motions Tim to join him who hesitates before lying down beside him. He presses a quick kiss on Jason’s forehead before adjusting himself under Jason’s neck. Jason only let a small hum of approval before encircling Tim with a soft hug.

“G’night.”

[nightravenxx]

He

He was there and I was here. He was smiling and I was crying. He was running and I was falling.

He...

He lit up the world and I extinguished it. He was fire and I was ice . He was dancing and I was singing

He...

He's the reason I can breathe. He's the reason why I can live. He

He's someone I cannot touch He's someone I cannot hug Not kiss .

He's something I fought to keep but couldn't .

He ... Oh he ...

[nightravenxx]

My Angel

Never finding what I need . The desire far like a dream . The rain falling in the stream. Wiping all emotions clean .

I stand there waiting. My heart fluttering. When I see you on the other side Laughing , walking.

My wings are black and heavy They try so hard to reach you Oh. My world is empty . Can take one last try.

Then I see her Cherry lips , angel eyes She knows how to tantalize. She's danger by design .

But hell , the way she smiles . The way she expressed it on her luscious lips . The way she'd make me weak in the knees. Oh no...

Oh man , I think of her . I pretend I pretend she's mine Oh .. oh I pretend all the time

That she's there by my side Through every tide. And that she'd hold my hand and whisper It's okay , don't be scared .

Every night , every day She's in my mind Makes me go crazy Just by thinking of her .

She's my angel Someone who could show me the light After the struggling darkness And the onslaught of the storm

Oh angel Oh angel Fly here Fly...

To me.

[nightravenxx]

Never Finding

Standing Screaming Dying

Never finding what I need Never finding what I wanted to fix

Singing Crying Missing

Never finding what I kissed Never finding what I broke

Running Falling Hurting

Never finding what I lost Never finding what I started

Burning Losing Hunting

Never finding what I've been looking for Never finding what I loved.

Oh , I never found you ever again

[nightravenxx]

Hearts and Knives

Love is unforgiving. Love will eventually hurt . And love ... is useless .

Those thoughts swirled through Raven's system as she tried to keep herself in control of her emotions again . Her heart ached physically . The empath wasn't one for love but there was this boy ... this boy that somehow shot an arrow clean through her . That boy didn't see her ...

Robin definitely turned a blind eye at her . Starfire was the centre of his world . The one he'd never let out of his sight especially when the team was fighting . Every time the team came back from missions , he would always check her first so that she's healthy and safe from harm . Even if Beast Boy was bleeding fast , Robin's undivided attention would be on Starfire first and foremost.

The thought of Starfire made Raven angry . She hated the alien girl but who was to blame ? Robin had a special preference for red heads and Starfire was suited for him . Raven thought bitterly , harbouring a growing hate for the girl . Her shy demeanor and girly attitude made her a sweet girl for a boy who acted like a lone wolf . A perfect couple , they said.

Tears filled Raven's eyes again at the prospect of Starfire and Robin being together . Breathing in shakily , she went to the bathroom and shut the door behind her .

Letting the water in the shower run , she took off her clothes and looked at herself in the mirror . Scars danced all across her body . Her cheeks hollowed out and her eyes had a sad look . Everyone had shrugged it off as Gothic behavior and nothing more than the Raven who loved to read and keep to herself .

I have feelings . I'm not a robot . Right ?

She smiled sadly in the mirror as she took her knife and sliced it thin across her arm . Blood filled her cut and dripped . She smiled thinly in the mirror before going to the shower .

And she broke down . Tears dripped down her cheeks as she clutched at her heart . The pain was unbearable as she showered , the tears mixing with the water . Afterwards she tied a robe around herself and went to change .

Starfire was in Tamaran for a visit and she was coming back after three months . Naturally Robin was excited and started preparing . Wiping the last of her tears . She hid her broken face and placed a smile on it as she walked to the living room .

Rolls and rolls of pink streamers lined the hallway as Robin stood on a chair perplexed as to how he should hang the fluffy pink streamed all over the floor . Raven glided silently towards him as he started to hang the streamers .

Raven stood , watching the Boy Wonder up close for once , a rare chance. His slightly built muscles started to show and his sleek black hair made him seem older than his age . His mask , impassable as always . If only I could have a drink of what's beneath that mask. Raven thought .

"Raven , mind passing me that streamer ?"

Robin's low musical voice derailed her from her thoughts . Nodding silently , she handed it over to him as he hummed a tune . Probably Bohemian Rhapsody , Raven thought . Why was she thinking so much about him ?

"Starfire , man I miss her . My girlfriend ..."

Raven's heart turned cold as her hand shook slightly . Beastboy and Cyborg were happily laughing at some TV show and didn't notice Raven's reaction . Her ice venom like voice filled her reply .

"Wonderful , I'm sure we all miss her."

Robin sensed a change in mood and he shook uncomfortably at Raven's iciness . Before anything escalated , Raven awkwardly turned and ran .

She ran without stopping , past the living room . Only Cyborg noticed that she was in such a frenzy and he decided to follow her , wondering what could've had happen .

Raven's arm covered her eyes which were overflowing with tears that cascaded down her countenance . She ran and went to her room . She locked her bathroom and sat there .

Soaking in the silent drip drip drip noises and curling into a ball on the bathroom floor , she saw her blade sitting on the sink . The blood on it all dried up and darkened . A reminder of her troubles , her sorrows , her sadness . She took the blade in hand and saw the familiar glint of the words , inscribed in her knife and heart .

Every breath is a war .Every thought is a battle  . And I don't think I'm winning anymore.

Somehow she felt in perfect synchronization with those words . She place the blade on her wrists and dragged them across , letting darkness envelope her. She collapsed in her own blood which rapidly grew on the bathroom floor . Cyborg at that precise moment frantically knocked on he room door but saw it was ajar .

He walked in and stifled a scream at the sight of Raven . He yelled .

"Guys ! GUYS!"

Alarmed , Robin ran in first as always and stifled a scream at the sight of Raven whose lifeless body stared back at him . Swallowing with difficulty , he crouched down and placed his hand on her wrist to find a pulse . A fleeting hope vapourized when he shook his head . Suddenly Beast Boy gave a snort of surprise as he picked up a letter stained with red . It had tumbled out of Raven's pocket . He soundlessly gave it to Robin .

Unfurling the letter , he read

I'm writing this letter because I thought it would be better to write instead of talking to you in person, especially since both of us of usually have hair triggers on our emotions and tempers. Besides, I'm already upset, and I don't want to say anything I might regret later. Let me start by saying that I care about our relationship. Otherwise our argument wouldn't have mattered to me and I wouldn't be taking the time to write this letter. I can't help but remember all the good times we've shared: late-night walks, movies, and dinner at the beach. I've treasured our talks and how we have discovered our many shared interests. In the short time we've known each other we have years of history--too much to set aside lightly, I hope. I've surprised myself by being able to express my love for you easily. In a significant way, you taught me how to say those three important words--words I had once thought I would never be able to say sincerely but they were and are sincere. As our relationship has progressed and become more intimate, the word "love" has become a natural part of my vocabulary. Until Starfire came along . I know she's the one and I had no right to intervine but it wouldn't hurt to write that I loved you . Just know that even if I'm gone , I'll love you for who you are .

Raven

Bitter tears stung in Robin's eyes as he shook his head . He crouched beside Raven , tucking her hair and whispered the words she longed and could never hear .

"I love you."

[nightravenxx]

Unread (Robin x Raven)

The door creaked open as a hooded hear peeked in to check if anyone was inside . Quietly slipping in , she tiptoed to the familiar oak table whose wood faded with age . Settling herself on the wooden chair , her nimble fingers picked up the quill and she dipped it in the bottle of black ink.

She hesitated , her quill in midair as she processed what she wanted to write . Pressing her quill down in flowing cursive , she wrote

Dear Robin

Her hand trembled when she wrote the second name , emotion swirling in her before continuing .

Hope , A word you taught me . Hope was supposed to mean find the solution , to find the light in the dark . That kept me going , until you left . When you left , my world started to crumble on itself , the silence of my cry easily heard .

The paper I have isn't enough to tell you how much I feel . My ink limited , my love infinite . How to express such emotions in black and white when I dream of you in color . The ink would bleed out someday and fade eventually but my love wouldn't .

Robin , I spend my nights looking at the stars to try and find you amidst all the galaxies to those I've never heard of . I look at the sea outside the Tower , a reminder of what I've lost . I walk in the bustling city streets , thousands of faces by me but yours never appearing in any of them . A ghost of what I loved , treasured and adored . My piano , it was meant for you to listen to the chords I'd play for only you . Who's there to play for if you aren't here , my love ? Late at night , I remember how'd you whisper an "I love you" in my ear . I'm still waiting for that whisper , the voice I had grown to savour . Each word that came from those lips.

Spring , you made flower chains for me while I tossed you hair with affection . Your big hand always inching towards my smaller one . Summer , in the luxury of the beach where'd we steal a kiss here and there . Autumn was when all the leaves flew down and crowded , lonely in their wake . Marring the scene with varying shades of red , orange and gold . Winter would come by and cover the world in a blanket of snow . You'd build a roaring hearth in which I took it's heat in as I lay my head on your shoulder . Sometimes , we'd be in the snow where'd we make snow angels . You always held my hands out and let the snowflakes fall on them . You always told me I looked beautiful . Tell me , am I still beautiful ?

Robin , every hour I'm looking for you . I remember it all . It was an ordinary day . All of us as a team going to celebrate our triumph  when you went wild and pushed us . The bomb  . It...It took you away in its brilliant glow and I couldn't see you . You saved us all but the sacrifice was a huge price . The last thing I heard from you was "Be safe." and you disappeared . Your funeral ...

Tears streamed down the young woman's face as her hand shook . Biting her lip , she wrote.

Everybody was there downcast . Batman , Tim , Jason and Damian silent , heart-wrenching tears pouring freely from their eyes which had a hollow look . Everyone had said their goodbyes . My turn had come but ... Robin , you never taught me to say goodbye . I don't know how . I'm lost and scared , where's your reassuring hand that always cradled mine . Just come home to me , please . I love you .

Now Raven was beyond controllable as renewed tears fell from her eyes . She slipped out of the room as carefully as she had come in . She sneaked into Robin's room which was shut .

Entering the room , she sat on his bed . Everything in the room had a thick layer of dust and all Raven could do to cheer up a bit was to pretend everything was normal and that he was here . Dusting his room , she spotted a Calibre .8 . It was a weapon Robin never used but was somehow found in his drawer .

Taking the gun , she felt it's cold metallic feeling which somehow drained her of everything when she remembered a lyric of one the songs she heard .

Won't see the point of livin' if one of us died , yeah.

Somehow she cocked the gun near her temple , feeling at peace for the first and last time . She fired .

And that was the last of the two lovers .

[nightravenxx]

Beautiful In White

Those small aeroplanes we'd fly. Running around in the sky . And then I'd stop and look at your face. Slowing down life's pace .

We were just kids back then. It seemed harmless back . A little kiss , a little hug . We never knew it was so much more.

And now as I hold your hand. We walk down that aisle. Where'd people rise and clap In synchronisation .

Oh did anyone tell you ? You're beautiful in white . Oh did anyone see ? You're beautiful in white .

The way we'd laugh ourselves silly. The way we'd catch caterpillars. The way we'd lie together and watch the clouds....

Oh did anyone tell you? You're beautiful in white. Oh did anyone see? You're beautiful in white.

Cause that's the colour that makes me think of you ... Cause that's the colour that makes me think of you ...

Now time isn't by anyone's side. Every day moves faster than light . The light from you fading each and every day....

The way we'd laugh ourselves silly. The way we'd catch caterpillars. The way we'd lie together and watch the clouds....

Oh cause you're beautiful in white. Cause that's the colour they draped your body with . And that's the last colour I ever saw when your light faded from this world .

Oh did anyone tell you? You're beautiful in white. Oh did anyone see? You're beautiful in white.

[nightravenxx]

A Thousand Lives

Leaning against this wall . I think of all I did wrong . And I think My greatest mistake was to leave you .

For a thousand lives , I'd regret How I kept pushing you away . Thinking you weren't the one for me Because I was scared (scared)

And I know , I know , I know I shouldn't have And I know , I know , I know There's nothing I can do now to change it .

Because for a thousand lives I'd love you (love you) Because for a thousand lives I'd miss you (miss you) Because for a thousand lives I'd ...

I'd do anything To go back to where we started . Maybe I wouldn't make those mistakes . And not push you away .

Should've looked beyond the flaws Should've just ignored it I should've seen the beautiful picture The masterpiece ...

And then you left The empty void there My heart's somehow pumping But aching for you ....

Because for a thousand lives I'd love you (love you) Because for a thousand lives I'd miss you (miss you) Because for a thousand lives I'd ...

I'd wanna change I wanna go back I wanna change I wanna go back to the start . A sorry isn't enough , I know A goodbye isn't enough , I know .

Because for a thousand lives I'd love you (love you) Because for a thousand lives I'd miss you (miss you) Because for a thousand lives I'd ...

[nightravenxx]

Breaking Point (A Suicidal Themed Tim Drake Fic)

No one in this world is superhuman. No one . Everyone was born the usual way . No one came from special places we do not know about . We are humans . Our role ? Survive . This is a cruel world where each and everyone has a limit , a breaking point . For once this breaking point is surpassed , the said person is dragged into a fathomless abyss of dark thoughts .

Timothy Jackson Drake breathed in deeply as he looked at the rain streaked window of his room . Thunder rumbled and lightning flashed in the distance . Sighing , he continued to flip the pages .

And those dark thoughts . The most poisonous of them . They sought to start wiping each of your happy moments , one by one whilst staining it with black . A black you couldn't remove fast . It's a shadow , a shadow that passes over you and doesn't go away . It's like fighting a battle with a predetermined winner .

Somehow , he felt in perfect sync with the book . It was exactly how he felt . If one knew Tim , he was never the one to openly vocalize his emotions but build them inside him like a bottle of champagne that wouldn't be open . He wasn't like Dick whose emotions were clearly plastered on to his face nor the demon spawn who picked up his katana each time someone pissed him off . He wasn't Jaybird who'd shoot bullets rapidly whilst they ricochet off the walls , back near his own feet . Something like a tease .

Tim was a good Detective that was extremely certain . Crime fighting wise , he wasn't a Nightwing or a Red Hood . The initial thrill of becoming Robin had long faded now replaced by dullness and realization of reality. Red Robin also couldn't provide that same thrill he used to feel . That burst of adrenaline had disappeared .

The past came flooding in , taking hold of Tim . His dad was killed , he thought the world had ended for him but Batman took him in .

Batman was dead now , Dick was the new Batman.

That made him sigh . A Batman needed a Robin . Dick didn't pick him , he picked the damned demon spawn instead.

The familiar rush of anger cane again and he threw the book at a wall , leaving a mark . The thought stung his old , unhealed wounds that reopened, the stiches unraveling one by one to reveal a raw cut . He recalled how he'd pestered and literally begged Batman to let him be his Robin and he had reluctantly agreed .

He walked with a heavy heart to his table where his laptop sat with a yellow notebook . For weeks and weeks , the stress of his work was on him for the criminal rate in Gotham hand suddenly jumped up at a ridiculously high rate . He tried to clear his dark cloud by typing away . Whilst doing so , his though lingered to Damian . The baby assassin got everything Tim worked for . It was gone from a flash . He recalled something important and he got up .

Alfred always kept new clothes for the rapidly growing Batboys . It was always at the front , never at the back . Tim opened his drawer and rummaged through . He pulled out a metallic looking object .

A gun .

A gun was easy to find and hide , especially at Wayne Manor .

He remarked at the irony of the situation . Tim felt the metallic coldness of the gun near his sweating forehead . Tim uncocked the safety latch of the gun with a click as he traced his finger all over the gun , the logo , the manufacturer . Tim was tired of everything , tired of life , tired of the fact that no matter how hard he tried , he was never going to replace Damian . Everything he worked for went to the Demon Spawn.

Everything will be okay . I swear all would be fixed

"To heck with the world" , he hissed as he took his last breath , the air somehow colder as he plugged himself in the temple . The final heartbeats disappearing . A shot that would guarantee his death . He lay , smiling in his own pool of rapidly flowing blood

Those that fall in the trap struggle to break the chains that hold them . They try so hard , so damn hard I tell you but their chains are heavy weights . They get swallowed by their own thoughts and end themselves , thinking no one would love them but never knowing the world would mourn for him.

[nightravenxx]

The Secret (Jason x Reader)

"Excuse me."

You muttered as you squeezed your way through an already narrow corridor filled to the brim with students . Many were gossiping and giggling amongst themselves as you made your way . Many boys threw glances at you whilst many others whistled to attract your already occupied attention but you chose to ignore them.

Your auburn hair and slate grey eyes made you a potential among the guys at Gotham High but you hated drawing attention to yourself but who was to blame ? The dimples that framed tour face always appeared whenever you smiled or pouted . That made many fall head over heels for you .

You hair which was gathered in a loose bun which bobbed up and down with each step you took . The outgrown fringe covered your right eye . It wasn't for fashion or style . It was to hide something you were most ashamed of .

Heaving a quiet sigh of relief , you pushed open the door of the library . The librarian on duty greeted you to which you mutter a rushed reply . You were there to find Jason who was meeting you here .

Many at Gotham High steered clear of Jason because he attracted the wrong kind of attention , who seemed misguided . However you knew that below the surface that he was more than that . He was courageous , kind , brave , loyal .

In short , your best friend .

Hordes of students were there but obviously none of them (except one) who would wear brown leather jacket with black motorcycle boots . Soon enough , you singled him out and located him at the corner of the library . He was leaning against the wall , reading (or pretending to read) .  Whatever it was , he looked up and his countenance brightened up .

"(Y/N) , where were you ?"

He walks up to you in what seemed like a smooth fashion . He captured your lips with his as he placed his hands smoothly behind your back . You blushed , wide eyed .

"Jason?"

He doesn't reply and starts to pull you in a tight embrace . He tucks you under his chin . You could feel the heat of his skin on yours . He smiles innocently as he watches you blush harder .

He looks at your fringe and tuts , smiling as he asks .

"You didn't get caught for that fringe yet . I'll fix it , cupcake ."

He starts to lift it whilst you fumbled a protest weakly  . He didn't hear you and he lifted it . He suddenly stood frozen still and he let go of your friends in horror .

Tears trickled down your previously smiling face . Jason now knew your most horrible secret that you fought to protect for the past nine years of your life . You imagined how he felt inside - disgusted , shocked and probably betrayed because you didn't tell him . You just didn't have the courage to confide in him .

It was all flooding back to you now . You recalled at the age of eight how you had suddenly taken very I'll. Your worried parents had sent you to the hospital where with a sinking feeling you discovered that you suffered from Stage 2 eye cancer which resulted to the removal of your eye .

Losing your eye resulted in the replacement of a robotic one . It didn't just hurt physically when it came into terms with your disease . Depression kicked in and to be frank with yourself , you struggled to find a reason to live , knowing fully that you could never regain that lost eye .

Hiccupping on your tears , you started to turn away before things got worse . Jason placed his hand on your shoulder and squeezed it lightly as you waited for his words .

"(Y/N) , it's okay . You don't have to hide from me . It doesn't matter whether you got one eye or one arm . What matters is that you're alive and my best friend cause babe' , you're perfect just the way you are ."

He turns around to find happy tears rolling down your cheeks as he embraces you in a tight hug . He stroked your hair and smoothened it down as you buried yourself into him .

Other students watched the two of you in amazement at what had just transpired in front of their eyes .

You didn't care because you knew someone out there loved you for who you were and that was all you ever wanted .

[nightravenxx]

Legacy Of Nightwing

Beep...beep...beep

Sounds came from the heartrate monitor beside the near lifeless body that once moved with great purpose . The man in question was once one if the greatest heroes everyone knew about . His lax lips and thin eyelids were all that remained on his previously animated face .

He used to fight for Blüdhaven , now he's struggling for his life , to take even an ounce of breath required effort .

You were gently stroking Dick's hand which lay limp by the bedside.  Surrounding the both of you was the rest of the family ; Bruce , Jason , Tim and Damian as they squeezed your shoulder . You took a deep breath to try and clear the growing lump of tears stuck in your throat as you tried to not look at him .

The doctor strode in with a sombre look on his face as he soundlessly gave the report to Bruce who stared at the report , misty eyed as he gave quick glances through .

"What is it , Dad ? Dickie's gonna be okay , right?"

All the Bat brothers looked expectantly at him , waiting for an answer as Bruce shuffled his feet and whispered hoarsely .

"He isn't going to make it , the blows by Deathstroke were lethal ."

Tension remained in the air as everyone looked at each other and then uncomfortably looked at Dick who somehow stirred a bit from his deep sleep .

"D..dad?"

Bruce in a flash was beside Dick as tears trickled down Bruce's usually composed face .

"D..Dick . You're going to be fine ."

"No."

Dick retorted as he sucked in a painful breath .

"Dad , I know this day was gonna come but not this early . Don't be sad about me going because I've done what I wanted ."

Bruce kept his head low as Dick placed a feeble hand on Bruce's big one . He gently motioned his brothers who gave him quick hugs and tears . Damian piped up

"Dick , who's gonna be the next Nightwing ?"

All eyes turned to a now reddening Damian who kept his head low now . Dick cocked his head and points at you .

"M..me? W..why?"

He fumbled a reply , with great difficulty.

"Darlin' , you've proven to be capable , capable enough . You're my girl , aren't you?"

He smiles as he slowly closed his eyes . The heartrate plunged down to zero . Nightwing lost his final battle , the battle to live . Everyone quietly teared as the doctor came to do what was needed .

_

Streaks of rain greeted you as you left the hospital , unable to watch what was happening . In your hands was his suit . He had wanted you to carry on the legacy .

As Nightwing.

Jason squeezed your shoulder as he caught up , his eyes were a glassy film of red . Dried tears lined his face and his voice was hoarse with emotion . He smiled at you .

"Girl , you ready for big time. ?"

You nodded , hugging the suit tighter and tighter as you muttered

"Blüdhaven here I come."

_

Work at Blüdhaven was exhausting . Mornings danced with meetings and paperwork , ready to be signed , filed and stashed . Nights filled with butt-kicking and patrols . There wasn't even time to breathe and you one again marvel how Dick was able to survive all this . The snow of work took its toll as you diligently tried to cope with your loss and the work . Now you knew how Dick felt . Sleep was a luxury and you tried to steal some here and there .

It was the bi-annual meeting and the Lieutenant's voice literally was enough for you to get up and scream at him to move on . He repeated in a monotone .

"I hope you got that clear , now we'll move on."

A headache came on behind your head as you tried to zone out , your thoughts now became glossy and almost blackened . Pinching the bridge of your nose , you winced as someone tapped on your shoulder , jolting you awake . Groaning quietly , you popped an aspirin and drank the coffee he offered . The oblivious Lieutenant continued .

The alarm suddenly rung and you ran , your heart sunk when you realized it was ...

Deathstroke

"That jerk isn't dead yet?!" You hissed as you jumped on your feet and dashed .

_

His place , utterly thrashed and random blood stains lining each corner , no doubt where Dick fought . Broken pieces of metal strewn everywhere as you saw the abomination . He seemed , normal . As though no one laid a finger on him at all . Anger gushed into you before he let out a sigh .

"Hmm.. Dick's dead . Who are you to fight , little girl ?"

That ticked you and you swung his metallic suit with your fist . Within a split of a nanosecond , he took it and deflected the punch , startling you . You took out a Ka-Ba knife to try and distract  you . Repeatedly throwing punches at him was not working ,. He swung you against the wall and pinned you hard against the wall and you grunted . He was about to raise his gun when an escrima stick smacked him square on the head .

Nightwing !

He was ... alive?

How?

How ...that's impossible?

A million questions , no answers as Dick yells .

"I get to finish this metallic jerk once and for all , (Y/N) , come."

Your vision was blurring as you nodded . Dick smiled savagely and swung and escrima stick at the near dead Deathstroke who was weakened by the jolt of electricity .

"It's your death-stroke now !"(pun intended)

"Damn you Grayson!"

He slips into a sleep , forever as you weak with emotion embraced Dick who caressed you back.

"How?"

"Faked it , went to plan how to kill that idiot."

He kissed you as you stared at the rising sun.

"Blüdhaven here we come."

[nightravenxx]

Sorry

Hi guys . I think this might be my last post . Why? My phone is being tracked . I will try my very best to come back and write fics again :’(

But that isn’t the end !  

You can find me on Wattpad : @nightravenxx 

You can find me on fanfiction.net : @nightravenxx (I just started that so it is empty :3)

Love yall

nightravenxx