Gotta write a short fic now cs you guys all had fun without me.
Tw. Abuse. On different kinds of levels. And torture. Kind of. Sorry Bea. I love you <3
It was just a normal mission, untill it wasn't. There was too much at risk. The rookies would have died if she didn't... It was a mistake. This is a mistake. Why did she do this??
Metal painfully board into her wrists and ankles - a blind fold over her eyes as four pairs of hands had constant contact with her.
Stripped out of her leather armor, down to only her white cotton shirt and her boxers, bount to a chair. She didn't know how long it had been since the failed mission. Hunger shooting through to her brain - stomach twisting, she wanted to throw up.
Even her lips were how chapped - head spinning from the lack of fluids in her system.
"You do not have any interest in food." a voice beamed. Where? She didn't know. Her ears descided to not work with her - maybe it was a concussion, maybe she was going crazy. And with a blindfold blocking any light she would have seen...
She just stayed quiet. Heart pumping faster than it should. Still she put on her best pokerface, feeling her arms start and cribbel again. They would cut off her blood circulation - making her arms go limp for some time - probably untill they turned blue. But who was she to judge - after all, there was probably a reason she had a blindfold on.
"Maybe we should try to get prayers out of you by beating you bloody and bruised." the voice spoke.
She tried taking a breath - where was he? She knew he was close - could feel him. It didn't help.
And in a sudden - she found herself buckling over, wanting to reach for the pain spreading in her side only to be smacked again. Across the jaw - clenching and unclenching it to easy the pain.
By the time they finaly got her to beg her kidney had suffered four punches, shoulders and spine burning from the constant torment - throat stinging with every shuddered gasp she took and probably changing blue by the second. Head hanging low, trying to fill her aching lungs with some air and a knife sticking in her thigh they left her alone. Her face was spared for the most part - her torso didn't have the same luck.
With a weird air hitting the back of her neck and headphones blasting white noise in the back of her head - rest wasn't even considered.
Shame fell over her. She plead, she prayed, she begged for them to stop. To loosen the grip on her throat - to stop raming knives into her thighs and biceps.
The next time they came she didn't even notice them. Only when the cool air stopped and someone took off the headphones did she realise they were there.
"You seem hungry." someone spoke - she could hear someone bring something to the room - if she guessed she would bet on a table. And. It really was a table. A table that they decorated with beautiful smells that litherally made Bea's mouth water.
She ducked her head - he was right. She would probably shove poison down her throat if it meant for her old friend called Hunger to leave.
"That's right. Just like that. You duck your head and wait for permition. Beg for permition. Like the good girl you are." the words made her intestines twist and turn. Making her want to throw up and curl into a cave - eating rocks for the rest of her pathetic life.
"As if I would-" and suddenly all breath was knocked out of her as a fist collided with her stomach. "You only speak if spoken to. You do exactly as you are told. Your mine now. Until I get what I need you are going to do whatever I say if you ever want to see light again. Don't even think of disobeying." he spoke - letting her catch her breath before sitting down.
His chair sounded much more comfortable.
"Beg to me child. Beg me to allow you to still your hunger" there was a smirk in his tone. It crept up her spine and sent a shiver through it.
And she found herself begging again. Even though later they hooked her up on some weird gas that made her hallucinate voices and touches. But nothing she could see.
The voices were ones she knew. Mother calling her a Fagott as she kicked in her ribs. Ava scoffing at her and whispering how she isn't enough. She deserves better but still settles for Beatrice - because of pity.
Mary laughed - someone whipping away her tears as she screamed at Beatrice for leaving her behind to die. Shannon's voice echoing in the background "unworthy. sinner." she would say.
Over time there wasn't even any thaught behind her actions. It was automatic. The white noise blasting in her brain. The begging for litheral water. The loss of sunlight. The punishments. "You ate too fast." "You drank too much." "You didn't beg hard enough."
Everything was blending in. She didn't know when nighttime fell or when the sun arose. She didn't know when a touch was real or an illusion. She didn't know when there was someone in the room watching her or when she was alone. She didn't know anything other than keep your head low. Don't speak. "Don't breath too loud."
The pain didn't stop. The pain never stopped. The burn marks were relatively new, she got them six beatings ago. But now was the first time they let the bounds on her wrists and ankle loose - dragged her out of her chair because she couldn't stand.
The walk wasn't long - uneven ground scraping her knees as her head lulled - neck stretching - between her shoulders.
"You haven't been a good girl lately." a voice spoke - as they came to a halt. A ruff hand came to cup her cheek - making her look up. Irony on look - she hadn't gotten the blindfold off her eyes since the day they captured her.
"I want you to be a good girl." she didn't know what he meant. She did exactly what he wanted her to do. And she wanted to say something so bad - the words dancing on the tip of her thong. I have been good. Let me make it better. I will be better. But permition to speak never came.
"String her up." was all she heard before her wrists were forced together - a rope digging in as they pulled her up.
"Be a good girl and stand for me." he spoke again. Stroking her cheek with the back of his hand. And she tried. She really tried. But the pain was too strong, injuries from ages ago still hurting as if they were created only yesterday. Her knees shaking, legs wobbling she tried to do as told. She didn't know what was going to happen - but probably nothing pleasant. "You are not trying hard enough baby girl. I need you to stand up if you don't want me to try out my new whip on you." and if he wasn't pressing his fingers into the side of her throat, cutting off her air, maybe she wouldn't have had such a hard time standing.
The words after you aren't trying hard enough baby girl didn't even register. The nick names still felt weird - the intimacy of the touches even worse. But she learned to not question it.
"This is pathetic." he spoke and finally let go of her throat - let her buckle under her weight trying to breath in as much air as she could.
Without a warming something loud broke the soundbarrier - ending diagonally across her back. And she shrieked - feeling her skin rip under the pressure - the whip having cut through her cotton shirt like scissors through paper.
"Stop screaming baby girl. We both know this doesn't hurt." a pair of cold knuckles stroked across her now split open back.
The second hit landed between her shoulder blades and then down. She felt the first one start to bleed. Droplets of blood tracing their way down her back.
The third one landed just right on her spine - ripping a grunt that she had to bite down - falling to her knees as the rope still held her upright enough to display her back.
The rest was a blur - hot pain warming itself all over her. She didn't know what happened - only that she was swimming in her own blood for long enough to pass out four times.
A cloth wet with water held to her nose woke her up the fourth time. A needle digging into her vains that automatically made her heart pump faster than before.
She lost count of how many times her back had been ripped open - stopped counting after the 26th time.
Only that this time there was a loud crash. And there were shots, screaming - plaguing her mind. Someone was taking - she couldn't make out who or what they were saying. Only that the voice was much softer than the the man's voice and that the hand cupping her cheek wasn't ruff.
Within seconds the bounds on her wrists holding her up loosened - letting her buckle over - unelegantly falling straight towards the ground. But before she could hit it someone caught her. Warm body pressing against her cold skin.
This is an illusion. It can't be anything else. There is just no way.
Finaly the blind over her eyes loosened - but she couldn't make herself open her eyes. Not after strong arms swept her up - kept her close - carried her into the cold as she pressed her face in the crook of their neck.
When she finaly opened her eyes she was greeted - as expected - with a neck. So she tried to concentrate on tre feeling of it - closing them again because even though everything was dark, it was too bright, too painful to keep them open.
A lot of people had carried her in her life. A little amount of them had the pleasure of doing so bridal style. There were exactly three who had done so, and the way it felt so familiar as they walked didn't make it easier.
It had been her big sisters. The ones who practically adopted an angsty teen that came to them so closed up and represented that it should be illegal. But they still put up with her. They still saw her as a human.
For now though she could could rule out two. Shannon was dead, and Mary too. Only leaves one. But Lilith changed sides. She -
Bea opened her eyes again when a warm palm touched her temple - squinting her eyes just the bare minimum she saw Ava herself stand there. The love of her life - standing there with an range of emotions passing through her mind within seconds. First shock then anger and hate and as last - disgust.
She wanted to apologise. Beg her to stop looking at her that way. But she couldn't. And she looked down - stealing a glace at the ring on the person's finger - the person that was holding her.
Yup. It was Lilith. And Lilith's neck was also the last thing she saw, nestled her face in - before darkness took over.
She woke up with a start - voices being too loud to handle, she couldn't do anything about it - touches being too much, too many, she couldn't stop them. Couldn't see who was planting them.
But it didn't matter - because the next moment she was up and awake - adrenaline pumping through her system as a shriek left her body - making her fall back into the soft heaven behind her.
As soft as you could when your thorso feels like a rock and your body feels like it had completely detached itself from her mind.
She heard beeping next to her - a heart monitor - her hear monitor. It was strapped to her. Endless wires, all over her body.
"Easy. Easy." someone spoke. And apparently bothher hands were preoccupied with being held that she wasn't even given a choise to hold her own cup of water.
"Have some water Bea." another voice spoke. Letting her drink out of a little straw for longer than she was normally allowed to.
She finaly opened her eyes - which was a mistake by the way. Ava sitting on her left, the window behind her hitting Bea's sensitive eyes and sending a louder ache through her body than the one before. On her right sat Lilith.
Lilith. The one who had changed sides. The one who had made her tea wen she was sick and braided her hair when she was stressed. The one that carried her so many times. Not only physically.
This isn't real - this can't be real.
Well. The doctor who walked in talked to them for a while as she zoned out for a while - confusion and pain clogging her mind.
It didn't last long before they shot her up on morphine and let her sleep again. Holding her hands.
Did I come to the actual part of the story? No. Do I look like-
Anyhow. I don't think I will be writing a part two just because I have the attention span of a rock and because I don't really have a reason to do so lol. Like. Ok maybe if I am bored.
This is not proof read. I didn't read a single time as I wrote it. I didn't even skim it. I just hit buttons and called it a day. And it is 2am my brain is mush mush I am running on 4 hours of sleep and way too much coffein I see things that aren't there I can't thing queer I am vibrating out of my body. Help.
Anyhow. Hope you had fun reading. And sorry for adding so much I just can't help myself.
