↳ kunikuzushi x gn!reader
cw// ei neglects child scara
never got around to posting this. enjoy my loves :)
raiden kunikuzushi should have been feared and respected by all, from the moment he was brought into the world. created in the likeness of the almighty raiden ei, he was brimming with power and potential. he in himself was a catalyst of apocalypse.
but he had never been good enough. if he wasn't good enough for his own creator, what good would he be to the world that he wandered so aimlessly?
you proudly upheld your duties as the shogun's second-most senior advisor, second only to guuji yae miko. eons ago, you'd been blessed with immortality in exchange for eternal loyalty to the shogun.
this was a simple enough task, until the shogun had publicly announced the creation of an heir. her son, destined to carry her gnosis within him someday. he was named for his strength and will. for the pure power that coursed through his veins in place of blood.
kunikuzushi, a destroyer of nations.
you, alongside the highest-ranking soldiers and priestesses were tasked with ensuring his safety.
he grew up delicate, a fragile little porcelain doll who might crack if he fell over. though he was being trained by masters of martial arts, he could barely lift a sword by the time he was twelve years old. the shogun constantly disapproved of his lack of physical strength, critiquing his every move.
after all, he needed to match her strength in order to bear the gnosis.
"your grace, not like that..."
"your grace, follow my footwork."
"your grace, try again with more power."
he was always surrounded by so much criticism. maybe he didn't want to inherit the gnosis. he simply wanted to live.
he trusted you with everything, he'd follow you around everywhere without a second thought. you once had business to take care of in the city, and naturally, kunikuzushi tagged along too. it was hard to forget that astonished look in his eyes when he stepped out of tenshukaku for the first time. he was so unaware of the world around him. there was so much you wanted to show him, but the fear of being reprimanded for giving him freedom held you back.
years passed by with little improvement, but the bond you shared with the shogun's son had grown stronger, almost indestructible.
he had turned to you most of the time, to fill the void of loneliness which his mother could not satisfy. after all, it was you who kept him clean and fed. maybe you'd become his supplementary parental figure. you'd always been there, since the day he was created. kunikuzushi admired you over his own creator. not because you were strong or powerful, but because you really and truly cared about him.
maybe that's all he wanted to be.
not a god, not someone who was feared.
just someone who was loved.
you were completely aware of the consequences you'd be facing if you were found to have such a close relationship with the youngest raiden. but somehow, punishment was the least of your worries. it had become a trivial matter once you had your priorities straight.
you felt pity for him over anything else. his life had been decided for him before he was even created. day after day, night after night, he lingered around you like a loyal puppy. you provided him with a place to sleep, away from the judgemental gaze of his mother.
you knew how much the shogun disapproved of his strength and capabilities. therefore, you began to supply him with whatever validation you could give.
"your grace, you've improved a lot."
such simple comments, yet you could see his deep indigo eyes light up upon hearing them. you constantly had to force back the pity you felt for him. you kept telling yourself that one day, you would set him free. you'd take care of him, give him the life that he always needed.
he adored you so much. there had to have been something more you could do for him.
but at last, it was time. the electro gnosis would be bestowed within raiden kunikuzushi.
this was a rather sudden move from the shogun, especially considering how disappointed she was with her son's strength. but it was not your place to argue with her. it never was, and it never would be.
the ritual was scheduled for sunset, before the rise of a new moon. it was not to be a public ceremony, the shogun had only permitted her closest confidantes to bear witness. it was astounding how little the general public of inazuma knew about the shogun and her life. secluded within tenshukaku, nobody ever saw anyone come or go. you couldn't help but wonder what the people of inazuma would think of kunikuzushi.
the dizzying, sickly sweet scent of burning incense filled the room, smoke clouding the air. the youngest raiden lay on a futon surrounded by shrine maidens whispering blessings in his ears.
his eyes were empty, bordering lifeless. he was submitting to his creator's ideals, exactly what he was so desperately avoiding all these years.
a rather lethargic-looking raiden ei entered the room, guards by her sides. you knew better than anyone that this isn't what he wanted. in kunikuzushi's eyes, the gnosis belonged with his mother and his mother only. though it was his dream to be of use to someone, everyone in the room knew he wasn't ready for this.
everyone except the shogun.
as her personal advisor, you were responsible for talking her out of bad ideas. and this was, by far, the worst idea ei had ever produced.
"your excellency, i don't think..."
"he can take it."
she immediately held her hand up to your face before you could elaborate. the shogun's ideals were immovable. it was foolish of you to even imagine protesting her actions.
enclosed in her other hand was the gnosis. a glowing, pulsating violet ornament resembling a king chess piece. raiden ei flaunted her authority in every aspect of her reign, even in the style of her gnosis.
the shogun handed the gnosis to a priestess, who recoiled as soon as it made contact with her skin. the priestess shivered while holding it. the raw power of electro in its purest form was not something a mere human could handle easily. the shrine maidens prayed over kunikuzushi in unison, begging the gods above to grant him strength.
the priestess approached the youngest raiden, kneeling before him. she touched his forehead and began to pull back his kimono. you could tell he was afraid. you could tell, even from a distance. the last thing he wanted was to become like his mother, but it was far too late for any more protest.
while the shrine maidens chanted prayers, the priestess inlaid the gnosis into kunikuzushi's chest. and for a moment, there was silence. but in an instant, he started kicking and thrashing, the gnosis emanating power too pure for him to handle. a guttural cry ripped from his throat as he knocked over a censer, ash and incense spilling onto the floor.
"you are pathetic," ei hissed. "completely pathetic."
the gnosis was tearing him apart, thrashing in him as if his body was poisonous. he clawed at his chest as the priestess silently pleaded with the shogun to remove the gnosis.
tears began to roll down kunikuzushi's face, but you knew all too well that they weren't tears of pain. he was disappointed in himself. he himself felt that he was pathetic, that he wasn't good enough.
the priestess managed to wrench the burning gnosis out of kunikuzushi's chest. he turned his head to look at ei and you, desperate for someone to reassure him. for someone to tell him that it's alright.
"mother..."
disgusted and dissatisfied with her creation, raiden ei turned her back. it could not handle the sole purpose that it had been created for.
"you are no son of mine."
her venomous words stung even you, but you knew better than to argue with the shogun. kunikuzushi knelt on the floor by her feet, but ei did not spare a second glance at him.
"begone. out of my sight," she spat.
you wanted nothing more than the freedom to help him stand up and tell him he did fine. his mother was completely oblivious to the damage she was causing to her own son, her own child, her own creation. the shogun turned to you, her piercing violet eyes boring into your soul.
"and you. back to your quarters," she ordered.
instant defeat. you could do nothing more.
you watched him tremble with silent tears, his kimono still slipping off his lithe shoulders. two of the guards that had entered with the shogun firmly escorted you away from him. it hurt to even imagine what ei might do to him, but you absolutely had to find a way to get him out of tenshukaku.
you were dragged back to your residence like an escaped prisoner in need of discipline. confined to your own mundane room, you had no way of knowing what was happening to kunikuzushi. the soldiers did not depart after leaving you in your room, rather they stayed in front of the door to ensure you obeyed the shogun's orders.
minutes turned into hours, and your restlessness persisted. could you have been helping kunikuzushi right now? your heart ached for the times when you could freely take him out, to proudly link your arm with his and go for a stroll in the city.
he was your responsibility. and now he was at the mercy of his mother.
moonlight spilled into your room through translucent windows. the wind hissed between the tiny gaps in the doors and windows, the shrill sound breaking the awkward silence between you and your thoughts. the guards had to have gone by now. not even the shogun's soldiers could withstand such a cold night wearing nothing but armour. it was a chance you needed to take for him.
you pressed your face against the window, resisting the urge to pull away from the frosty glass. as you had suspected, the soldiers couldn't handle the cold. you were all alone in this corner of tenshukaku. hopefully.
you quietly slid the door open, the wind rustling your clothes. there wasn't a single guard in sight. odd, you thought. suspicious, even.
but this was not the time for second-guessing. you rushed back to tenshukaku, trying to predict where kunikuzushi might be. the wind picked up; now so strong it blew your golden feather necklace into your face. you smooth down the amulet, once presented to you by the shogun herself, to grant eternal protection to the wearer.
you slipped through an alley leading to the back of the shogun's palace, wading through decorative streams of overflowing water. the archon's grand residence towering before you had never seemed so unfamiliar, so evil.
illuminated only by the gentle flickering of faraway lanterns, a piece of crumpled linen caught your eye outside the palace. upon closer inspection, it was not only a piece of discarded fabric, but an entire discarded being.
kunikuzushi was in terrible condition when you first found him. he appeared to have been unceremoniously dumped outside tenshukaku, in the same manner someone would leave their trash outside. he'd been discarded like worthless, faulty equipment broken beyond repair.
his head was tilted awkwardly to one side, his arms completely limp. he was lifeless, empty, catatonic. you knew he was aware of your presence, but he remained silent. completely defeated. the wind bit at your face, numbing the tips of your fingers, but the former heir to the throne of inazuma seemed unaffected.
long locks of his indigo hair were splayed around him, engulfing his defiled body like the black waters of inazuma's seas. his elegant long hair had been carelessly hacked off, leaving his porcelain-pale face framed by choppy, uneven strands. he looked tragic. the epitome of the shogun's grace and perfection had been destroyed by his own creator's hatred.
weary of the patrolling shogunate, you hastily approached him. his lifeless eyes shifted up to you briefly, but were unable to hold your gaze. his deep navy eyes welled up with tears, and kunikuzushi blinked to let them seep down his reddened cheeks. tension was high, and consequences would be dire for him if the shogunate were to catch you.
the familiar thumping of organized shogunate grew louder as you knelt to touch his face. they wouldn't hurt you, you knew that. they weren't after you. knowing tenshukaku like the back of your hand, you knew of several convenient escape routes, but none would be easy to take if you had the injured prince in tow.
but the soldiers followed the shogun's orders to a tee, and if she told them to dispose of him, they would see their task through to the end. the fact that he his life had even been spared in the first place was an enigma.
"don't go," he managed to say. he spoke as if the breath was snatched out of his lungs, as if the air around him was too thick to take in. his voice was small, something you'd never imagine coming from someone meant for such greatness.
"i'll come back for you," you assure kunikuzushi.
you take the golden feather amulet from your neck and place it around his instead. it had protected you from all danger from the moment you had began working under the shogun, and perhaps it could deter the shogunate from harming him any further, as well.
you couldn't imagine how difficult this must have been for him to hear; after all, it was only you who displayed any sort of pride towards him. he confided in you, felt safe with you in a world that would never have been able to accept him. you were the only one who didn't push expectations on him. he had always been enough in your eyes.
but the young porcelain prince knew what would happen to the both of you if you were discovered disobeying ei's orders. and so, you started on your way out of tenshukaku, taking backroads until you found yourself at a fisherman's dock.
you look back once, to shogunate surrounding him, but keeping their distance. armed, but not dangerous. his choppy indigo hair rippled in the wind as the soldiers slowly backed off, and you silently pray that he would never go back to her, to the neglect and abuse he once faced, to the life you fought so hard to get him away from. thanks to your amulet, he would forever be physically safe; but you couldn't think of one person who would be willing to be his refuge.
and, despite the distance, you know that he prays for you too, for your safety, and for your return, so you may give him a reason to be again.
↳ losing you; xiao, dainsleif, diluc x gn!reader
im sad today so you all have to be sad too
there is precious little in this world that can hurt xiao. the immortal guardian of liyue has lived through eons of perpetual loss, hardening his tainted soul to the piercing pain of grief. but you were supposed to be the one; who pulled him from corruption, brought him back to the light, and gave his existence meaning again. after years of listless wandering, you made his life worth living. he vowed to always protect you, to be there anytime you needed him, to overpower anything that might put you in harm's way.
until he didn't make it. he heard you call for his help; you needed him, and he wasn't there. xiao appeared at your side a moment too late, and found you bloodied and unconscious. he rips off his gloves to hold you, and his piercing amber eyes well up when he realizes you're cold.
he cradles your head in his lap, rocking you back and forth with tears in his eyes, muttering "impossible... impossible..."
from the moment dainsleif met you, he knew not to get attached. from experience, it was a mistake to love when you were cursed with immortality. he was filled with grief every time he saw your face, knowing that one day he'd lose you forever. but your grace, your voice, the way you cared for him, he just couldn't resist you. he got careless– fell in love with you just as anyone else would.
he cherished you for as long as he possibly could have, refusing to believe that he couldn't be with you forever. although his physical state never changed, he began to deteriorate spiritually as he watched you weaken with your mortal age. and as you succumbed to ailments he could only imagine, he wishes he could have shouldered your pain in your last moments.
he can't allow himself to forget you. he holds you close one last time, committing to memory each detail of your face. "not you too," he weeps.
diluc thought he could protect you from everything. after settling down in mondstadt, seemingly free from his past debts, all he envisioned was someone he could grow old with, someone he could cherish and keep. but one day, when the agents of his past came lurking forward again, his chain of misfortune continued. there was no way you could have protected yourself against fatui agents; without a vision, weapons, or time to prepare, he was your only hope.
unfortunately, he had left you alone for the day at the winery while he entertained foreign guests. returning home at the smallest hours of the night, the last thing he expected to see was fire; ravaging his grapevines, destroying his home, and taking the one he loved away from him. he failed you, he let you down. you trusted him, and now you're gone too.
the young master of the winery will now spend his days drinking himself half-blind, asking over and over again, "why couldn't it have been me?"
↳ flavoured chapstick challenge ft. dazai, ranpo, tecchou, jouno, fyodor
cw// mildly suggestive → making out
DAZAI can never get enough of you. he kisses you like a starved man at any chance presented to him, taking in the taste of your lips whether or not they've been laced with a flavour other than your own. he'll pull you close, lithe fingers busying themselves in your hair while he kisses you deep.
"strawberry," he says in his sickly sweet voice, smiling against your mouth <3
RANPO figured out what you were up to before you even started kissing. immediately noticing the discarded chapstick package in your trash, he already knows the flavour, brand, and store you bought your chapstick from. still, he'll never pass up an opportunity to indulge you, playing dumb until you're satisfied.
"peach," he'll state, the moment you pull away <3
TECCHOU is absolutely obsessed with you. he wouldn't pay much mind to giving you a correct answer; maybe he didn't even notice the soft chocolate flavour lingering on your lips. all he's concerned about is you. taking you in, feeling you close to him; it's all he needs. he loves losing himself in you, maybe just a little too much this time <3
"flavour..? what flavour?"
JOUNO and his heightened senses were more than happy to accept this little challenge from you. although he can't take in your beauty with his vision, he'll let himself sink into every other aspect of you, your scent, the way you feel in his arms, and the delectable flavour lingering on your lips.
"coffee," he'll say without a moment of hesitation, picking up right where he left off <3
FYODOR is a conniving man, brimming with passion. and he was never one to shy away from a challenge. he kisses you like nothing's different, dragging his tongue across your lips as you messily make out. he grabs a fistful of your hair and pulls away from you, a shimmery thread of saliva connecting your lips.
"vanilla..." he'll hum. "eos brand, manufactured in china, probably purchased last week," he'll add, before getting back to his unfinished business <3
↳ losing you; xiao, dainsleif, diluc x gn!reader
im sad today so you all have to be sad too
there is precious little in this world that can hurt xiao. the immortal guardian of liyue has lived through eons of perpetual loss, hardening his tainted soul to the piercing pain of grief. but you were supposed to be the one; who pulled him from corruption, brought him back to the light, and gave his existence meaning again. after years of listless wandering, you made his life worth living. he vowed to always protect you, to be there anytime you needed him, to overpower anything that might put you in harm's way.
until he didn't make it. he heard you call for his help; you needed him, and he wasn't there. xiao appeared at your side a moment too late, and found you bloodied and unconscious. he rips off his gloves to hold you, and his piercing amber eyes well up when he realizes you're cold.
he cradles your head in his lap, rocking you back and forth with tears in his eyes, muttering "impossible... impossible..."
from the moment dainsleif met you, he knew not to get attached. from experience, it was a mistake to love when you were cursed with immortality. he was filled with grief every time he saw your face, knowing that one day he'd lose you forever. but your grace, your voice, the way you cared for him, he just couldn't resist you. he got careless– fell in love with you just as anyone else would.
he cherished you for as long as he possibly could have, refusing to believe that he couldn't be with you forever. although his physical state never changed, he began to deteriorate spiritually as he watched you weaken with your mortal age. and as you succumbed to ailments he could only imagine, he wishes he could have shouldered your pain in your last moments.
he can't allow himself to forget you. he holds you close one last time, committing to memory each detail of your face. "not you too," he weeps.
diluc thought he could protect you from everything. after settling down in mondstadt, seemingly free from his past debts, all he envisioned was someone he could grow old with, someone he could cherish and keep. but one day, when the agents of his past came lurking forward again, his chain of misfortune continued. there was no way you could have protected yourself against fatui agents; without a vision, weapons, or time to prepare, he was your only hope.
unfortunately, he had left you alone for the day at the winery while he entertained foreign guests. returning home at the smallest hours of the night, the last thing he expected to see was fire; ravaging his grapevines, destroying his home, and taking the one he loved away from him. he failed you, he let you down. you trusted him, and now you're gone too.
the young master of the winery will now spend his days drinking himself half-blind, asking over and over again, "why couldn't it have been me?"
all those years ago, you'd offered the yaksha your hand. the nuo dancer of evil conquering must have known what he was doing, after all, whether or not he'd practiced modern dance.
xiao rolled his eyes and groaned under his breath, crossing his arms and looking away. you kicked off your boots and set them aside by the banks of dihua marsh, gesturing for xiao to do the same.
with an incredibly forced frown, he'd undone his own boots and followed you into the shallows. you had slung your arms around his neck gently, evoking what he was loath to admit, pleasant shivers.
but he definitely knew what he was doing.
xiao had twirled you through the marsh, kicking up silt and water by accident. in a typical xiao move, he feigned annoyance at his pants being splashed with water. he was so full of life when he was around you. just the simple act of aimless dancing hand-in-hand with you was enough to suppress his pain.
his misery dissipated as soon as you arrived. with just a simple wave, you could bring the colour back to his face and a smile back to his lips.
you held him close as you danced through the evening, stopping only when your body couldn't support you anymore. you felt no pain from the exhaustion, however. it was just enough dancing for the night. xiao collapsed dramatically and pulled you down with him.
there you stayed for a while, wrapped in each other's arms. damp clothes, soaked skin, yet you'd never felt so safe and warm.
one might say being with him gave you a feeling of butterflies in your stomach. but that was an understatement. xiao gave something even more special than butterflies; fireflies, maybe. he incited a special sort of comfort, reassurance and gentle warmth within you. a superficial being such as a butterfly wasn't enough to describe how special xiao had made you feel.
"let's do this forever," he'd whispered.
alatus wasn't the kind of adeptus who could bless you with a longer life, for more time to spend with him, for more time to dance.
thankfully, he could live forever.
unfortunately, you could not.
was he supposed to follow the vulgar human concept of "getting over" someone? as if he could completely forget you; the finest creation in all of teyvat's history. xiao refused. he would remain attached to you one way or another.
xiao regretted every moment he wasn't at your side. he seemed to have forgotten how short a human lifespan was, and that he would eventually have had to let go of you sometime or another.
he just didn't expect it to be so soon.
but now, he danced alone in the rain. he was ankle-deep in the clearwater dihua marsh, a place which always reminded him of you. he performed the pas-de-deux you always did with him. but he was alone. it was almost as if he could feel a connection to you within the water.
xiao fell to his knees. the pouring rain soaked him through from the waist up, and he was submerged in the marsh from the waist down. he was freezing from the outside in, yet he was burning up from the inside out.
even though you could no longer be by his side, xiao desperately searched for a trace of you in the water as he danced absent-mindedly.
the yaksha danced in the rain, so he himself could not tell his own tears from the downpour. and as liyue's guardian lay down in the freezing water, the once hazy image of you in his mind gradually became clearer and clearer.
ZHONGLI can't wait to meet your child. he knows it's been difficult on your body, and he hates to see you suffering, so he'll make sure to give you all the help you need. he'll take over every household responsibility, run errands for you, and make sure you're getting enough rest <3
DILUC can never feel prepared enough to be a father. he'll read all the parenting books available in mondstadt's library, making sure he fully understands every aspect of raising a child. he's really afraid that he won't be able to take care of your baby :( so he spends a lot of time asking others for advice too <3
XIAO doesn't really understand the concept of human pregnancy, but he's still very willing to learn about it. he'll give you all the emotional support you need, listening to you worries and carrying your burdens. while the changes in your body are new to both of you, xiao tries his best to reassure and comfort you <3
KAZUHA hates to see you suffer; having you uncomfortable and aching hurts him too. he'll pamper you throughout your whole pregnancy, giving you gentle massages to soothe your pain and ease the tension in your body. he'll make sure you're eating well too, so you can stay healthy <3
AYATO is so excited to be a father! he'll attend all your appointments with you, hiring you a personal attending doctor to take care of anything you might need. he'll diligently ask your doctors questions about your progress, constantly making sure both of you are healthy and on track <3
BAIZHU takes it upon himself to care for you in any way you might need. as liyue harbour's top physician, he knows how to monitor you medically. and as your lover, he knows just as well how to look after you emotionally. although he's not in the best health, he'll make sure you're always comfortable. he'll run hot baths for you, and provide you with the highest quality herbal supplements <3
DAINSLEIF has never been so attached to a mortal, let alone two. although he suffers greatly from erosion, it will never prevent him from protecting you and keeping you happy. he's soo smitten, he'll bring you anything you're craving, write you sweet notes, and shower you in affection, something that's very new to him <3
HAITHAM is never too busy for you. he'll devote more and more time to strengthening your relationship and looking after you, especially with a baby on the way :) he'll never let having a child get between you, so he'll put in all the effort to plan lots of memorable dates, picnics, and scenic walks. he knows that your lives are about to change drastically, but you'll always be his priority <3
+ KAVEH gives you all his energy throughout your whole pregnancy, taking on less work so he can be with you more often. he'll spend sooo much time designing and setting up the perfect little nursery for your baby! he'll help you choose the softest colour of paint, the best materials for a crib, and the cutest clothes and toys for your new little one <3
you looked up at the boy with constellations on his cheeks, your beloved. you lay on his chest facing him as he drifted in and out of sleep. no matter how much he acted otherwise, he loved you tracing his skin. it made him feel beautiful, as gorgeous as the night sky.
his bottomless eyes were barely open, yet a small smile spread rainbows across his face as you continued your pretend stargazing. even in exhaustion, he loved you more than anything. he kept his hands laced with yours as you praised him for all he had, regardless of if he was actually registering your words.
the gentle scent of chamomile tea wafted through his room and lingered on his irresistible lips, a memento from his day. his features were so perfect, it was hard to believe that he was of this earth. a being so ethereal had no place in a world like this.
you cupped his face and simply gazed at him in admiration.
he was just so beautiful. and he'd be yours until all the stars fell out of the sky.
↳ flavoured chapstick challenge ft. dazai, ranpo, tecchou, jouno, fyodor
cw// mildly suggestive → making out
DAZAI can never get enough of you. he kisses you like a starved man at any chance presented to him, taking in the taste of your lips whether or not they've been laced with a flavour other than your own. he'll pull you close, lithe fingers busying themselves in your hair while he kisses you deep.
"strawberry," he says in his sickly sweet voice, smiling against your mouth <3
RANPO figured out what you were up to before you even started kissing. immediately noticing the discarded chapstick package in your trash, he already knows the flavour, brand, and store you bought your chapstick from. still, he'll never pass up an opportunity to indulge you, playing dumb until you're satisfied.
"peach," he'll state, the moment you pull away <3
TECCHOU is absolutely obsessed with you. he wouldn't pay much mind to giving you a correct answer; maybe he didn't even notice the soft chocolate flavour lingering on your lips. all he's concerned about is you. taking you in, feeling you close to him; it's all he needs. he loves losing himself in you, maybe just a little too much this time <3
"flavour..? what flavour?"
JOUNO and his heightened senses were more than happy to accept this little challenge from you. although he can't take in your beauty with his vision, he'll let himself sink into every other aspect of you, your scent, the way you feel in his arms, and the delectable flavour lingering on your lips.
"coffee," he'll say without a moment of hesitation, picking up right where he left off <3
FYODOR is a conniving man, brimming with passion. and he was never one to shy away from a challenge. he kisses you like nothing's different, dragging his tongue across your lips as you messily make out. he grabs a fistful of your hair and pulls away from you, a shimmery thread of saliva connecting your lips.
"vanilla..." he'll hum. "eos brand, manufactured in china, probably purchased last week," he'll add, before getting back to his unfinished business <3
hihi !! i have been reading your work and it's amazing! i wanted to ask, if you could write about kazuha confessing love to reader, fem or gn
(also, could i be the ⭐✨ anon?)
hi love, welcome to the anon family !! your wish is my command <3 sorry this took a while :(
you make me - kazuha
in which kazuha confesses his love for you
kaedehara kazuha x gender neutral!reader
word count: 412
im so scared of writing dialogue help lmao
*i didn't write the poem in italics, full credit to ben maxfield and alexandra vasiliu !!
life in the crux fleet had always been mundane and tedious. however, the new inazuman stowaway that beidou had welcomed aboard helped change that. his name was kazuha, of a thousand leaves.
you'd grown close to him during your time together; after all, he added the variety that you so desperately needed in your life. kazuha loved to watch the waves with you, or ask about your homeland. he was an excellent listener, and a wonderful friend.
kazuha would often write small poems for you and leave them in places that you could easily find them. he loved to see your reactions to them, though he would observe from a distance to keep it genuine. in his heart, he fully believes that you are perfect.
he is completely infatuated with every bit of you. kazuha wants nothing more than to call you his, to become one with you and travel the universe together. day by day, his poems became more heartfelt. he wrote of your divine features, your perfect words, your sweet voice.
as if you didn't know already, he begins to make it more obvious that the poems are from him. he signs them with his initials and starts staying in closer proximity when you read them.
one tranquil day when the shorelines of liyue were made visible at last, you unfolded a slip of paper with your name written on it- undoubtedly from kazuha. he patiently waited on the deck for you to find it, a warm smile tugging at his lips.
my soul has traveled far and wide to find yours. if my heart could speak, it would say to you, i will not let you go. i will hold you in my arms forever.
and so he does. your heart swells with delight as you let him hug you. the hands which spent so much time creating poems admiring all of you are gentle and soft. he's finally, finally holding you, his beloved.
beidou's calls for the anchors to be dropped can't interrupt your serene moment with kazuha. the ship rocks you softly, and you only hold each other tighter.
he's there with you, and that's all that matters. the world can wait.
you looked up at the boy with constellations on his cheeks, your beloved. you lay on his chest facing him as he drifted in and out of sleep. no matter how much he acted otherwise, he loved you tracing his skin. it made him feel beautiful, as gorgeous as the night sky.
his bottomless eyes were barely open, yet a small smile spread rainbows across his face as you continued your pretend stargazing. even in exhaustion, he loved you more than anything. he kept his hands laced with yours as you praised him for all he had, regardless of if he was actually registering your words.
the gentle scent of chamomile tea wafted through his room and lingered on his irresistible lips, a memento from his day. his features were so perfect, it was hard to believe that he was of this earth. a being so ethereal had no place in a world like this.
you cupped his face and simply gazed at him in admiration.
he was just so beautiful. and he'd be yours until all the stars fell out of the sky.
xiao comfort fic because he sure as hell needs it after that event...
xiao x gender neutral!reader
word count: 2.3k
content warnings: referenced panic attacks
it had been a long day of commissions for you, and a long day of slaughter for him.
you'd tackled arranging bouquets of flowers for the wangsheng funeral parlour, delivering various mondstadt ingredients to the wanmin restaurant, and repairing the stairs of the wangshu inn all in one day.
xiao, on the other hand, had spent his day clearing out monster camps and protecting the vulnerable from the various representatives of the abyss order.
your commissions today weren't especially lucrative in terms of mora, but you'd received compensation in other forms: a unique kind of tea from wangsheng's consultant, zhongli; according to him, it was infused with trace amounts of adeptal energy to induce an incredibly strong feeling of tranquility. a fresh lunch of jueyun chili chicken, packed to go, courtesy of chef xiangling. and of course, a place to spend the night from the innkeeper.
at this point, you'd become decently acquainted with xiao. anytime you were in the wangshu inn area, he would turn up. according to verr goldet, he wasn't always there, so you could only assume he enjoyed your company as much as you enjoyed his. xiao was a being of few words, but despite that, he was an excellent listener. he welcomed your venting and ranting, and often offered his help in solving your issues. he'd vowed to protect you in any situation, and he was certainly abiding by his promise. wherever you went, he went, essentially.
you now lay next to the guardian adeptus in one of the inn's few guest rooms. he kept a respectful distance from you; not far enough to the point you felt isolated, but also not too close for comfort. when you'd been informed that there was only one available guest room, xiao had originally offered to sleep on the bare floor, leaving the proper bedding for you. but eventually he gave in, seeing as liyue was in the middle of winter.
you had a beautiful view of guili plains from where you were. but even more beautiful than any landscape of teyvat was the yaksha beside you. he'd given up on pretending he didn't need sleep a while ago. you couldn't help but admire xiao's face in the dim, moon-lit room. for once, his face wasn't contorted with fierceness or vigilance. his delicate features were completely relaxed, his lips periodically parting for slow breaths.
he was simply perfect. there was no other way to put it. xiao's everything— from his soft hair to his toned muscles, was perfect. a masterpiece of the archons, sculpted without a single flaw.
well, almost. the only flaw in xiao was his infectious karma. he always tried to act tough around you, likely to give you a feeling of reassurance, but you knew that his debt was affecting him horribly.
you just didn't know how bad it was.
tiredness had long since come upon you, but sleep did not. you laid awake for hours, trying to force yourself to sleep, but you couldn't. it was strange, actually. you'd rarely encountered this issue before. was something subliminally keeping you awake? you couldn't tell. regardless, you stayed where you were, continuing to admire xiao in the most relaxed state you would ever see him.
but the more your eyes adjusted to the darkness, the more you could notice xiao's lips starting to tremble, and his body going tense. figuring it was nothing, you didn't disturb him just yet. it wouldn't make sense to wake him up over such a trivial detail. the last thing you wanted to do was damage the fragile bond you'd created with the adeptus.
maybe he was just cold. you pulled the thin covers back over his shoulders and, for a minute, he relaxed again. knowing he was okay now, your own eyes began to flutter a bit. he was fine, you told yourself.
you awoke once again, around a half hour later to a sudden jolt against your back. out of nowhere, xiao had wrapped his arms around you, unconsciously pulling you right next to him. bizarre, but nothing to worry about. you let him hold you for as long as he wanted.
but that was before you noticed the tears streaming down his strangely sallow cheeks. xiao was crying, and you didn't even notice.
"no... no... forgive this one..."
now you were starting to get worried. it was uncommon for him to even crack a smile at the funniest jokes you'd ever told, so for him to start crying and begging forgiveness in his sleep was extremely out of the ordinary.
in an attempt to still the tremors coursing through xiao's worn body, you held him, too. he was pressed completely flush against you, yet nothing helped. at this point, the only thing you could do was to wake him up. while you understood that the conqueror of demons rarely got the opportunity to rest, this had to be an exception.
you started shaking his arm gently, saying his name under your breath. you tried your hardest to do everything in a soothing sort of manner, not wanting to induce any more anxiety on the poor adeptus.
"xiao... xiao...?"
no response, but his tears didn't stop. his hands, still holding you, began to tremble violently, and he shivered all over, despite sharing your warmth.
"xiao," you repeated, desperately trying to wake him up without startling him.
he let out a small cry. not a sob, but a cry. xiao was scared out of his mind, and you couldn't help him.
"xiao!"
he jolted awake, sitting upright immediately. he let go of you and frantically started to move away from you, but in his haste all he managed was to get tangled in the bedding. you gently reached out to him and moved his hair out of his face. the look etched into his features was one of mortification, horror and guilt. he looked as if he'd just killed a man– sweating, shaking, shivering in spite of himself all over.
in the faint moonlight, his lily-white skin glistened with sweat and tears. as a result of a presumptive nightmare combined with the nearly pitch-black room, xiao could hardly breathe. with assistance of your pyro vision, you quickly lit a lamp to help him calm down enough to tell his dream from reality.
but with a reaction like this, could it really just have been a dream?
xiao knelt on the floor, looking nauseous and still coughing, choking on his own despair. as you carefully inched closer to him, lamp set aside, his bouts of trembling began again, but this time no amount of warmth could soothe him. he was shaking in fear. but fear of what, exactly? surely, he would've gotten used to the crippling effects of his karmic binds by now. that couldn't have been what was scaring him.
he was, in fact, afraid of you.
or more specifically, afraid of falling in love with you. afraid of reciprocating your care for him. because xiao knew that the closer he got to you, the more it would hurt when you inevitably had to leave him someday.
it must've been so hard for him. everything, just in general. it was impossible for him to live happily. xiao had shouldered the burden of protecting all of liyue, meaning that he alone had to suffer for all eternity in order to ensure the nation's safety.
regardless, now wasn't the time to overanalyze. he needed reassurance and comfort, no matter how terrifying it seemed to him. you had an idea, but your first priority had to be helping him relax.
"don't leave..."
xiao's words came shaky and hushed; his voice was just as broken as his appearance. the vigilant yaksha's hair was matted with sweat, his thin shirt clinging to his skin. he gripped his knees, still shaking in fear. you absolutely had to intervene at this point.
you slipped out of your jacket and put it around his shoulders. while you rubbed the green fabric of your jacket against his clammy skin, you began to feel around in your pockets for the satchel of tea leaves zhongli had given you; for tranquility, he had said. the mesh bag caught on your fingernails while searching in your left pocket. if peace was what xiao wanted, peace was what xiao would get, even if it was just for a moment. after all, he definitely needed the tea more than you did.
xiao didn't question anything you did. he was well aware that he needed care, whether or not he wanted to admit it.
determined to soothe xiao for a while, you held him by his waist and helped him leave the guest room with you. you crept down the stairs as to not disturb the other people resting at the inn. verr goldet stood behind her desk, half asleep, yet still aware of your presence. once you got down the stairs, the innkeeper's wife waved you over. you carefully stepped between the floorboards to her desk, afraid to make even the slightest noise.
"good evening, do you need help with anything?" she asked kindly in a hushed tone.
you shifted under xiao's (admittedly not much) weight and held the small bag of tea leaves in your hands.
"ah, i see. but these... these don't look like plain tea leaves. is it a herbal remedy? are you feeling sick? i can get a doctor for you right aw-"
"it's not for me, don't worry," you explained, accidentally cutting her frantic sentence short.
verr goldet nodded, her thin lips curling into the tiniest smile you could imagine.
"oh... for him, is it?" she asked, indirectly referring to xiao. "there should still be some hot water in the kitchen. in case chef yanxiao is still there, tell him i gave you permission to use anything you need."
you wrapped the tea leaves back up and gently closed a hand around the mesh bag. you continued down the stairs to the kitchen, which you found empty. you said a silent prayer of thanks to yanxiao for leaving a pot of water on the stove.
slowly lowering xiao onto one of the short wooden chairs in the kitchen, you rummaged around in a few shelves until you found a set of porcelain teacups. though the cups looked unused, you brushed off the inside of one with a clean cloth, just to be safe. you emptied the contents of zhongli's teabag into the cup, and being careful as to not burn yourself on the pot, you poured the water over the tea leaves. even in the dimly lit kitchen, you could see the leaves bleed into the water, turning the tea a brilliant orange before settling into a more normal caramel colour.
you studied the now empty mesh satchel while waiting for the tea to cool. you couldn't help but wonder what exactly was in this blend of zhongli's, but you trusted him, of course. the thought that he might've given something that could potentially harm you was practically unfathomable.
taking special care as to not waste a single drop of the tea, you held your arm out to help xiao stand up. you led him back up to the guest room, letting him lean on you as much as he needed.
you helped him sit down on the bedding, re-lighting the lamp whose flame had since fizzled away in your absence.
xiao could barely keep his eyes open, yet he was still somehow so afraid of showing you how vulnerable he really was. his soul was caked with the filth of his past, which couldn't be changed: the damage to his emotional well-being was irreversible. but as he sat there, like a meek little child being spoon-fed medicinal tea, you felt as if you were on equal grounds with him for the first time.
he sipped zhongli's tea slowly, but with not an ounce of suspicion. for a moment, the thought that it may not even have an effect on him crossed your mind. after all, zhongli had given the tea to you, intending for you to drink it. if the amount of adeptal enchantment was safe enough for a mere human, you couldn't imagine it would do much for xiao.
but somewhere within him, far beneath that horrible, suffocating miasma, there lay a warm speck of love for you and you only. one tiny ray of light in the disgusting filth of his soul.
perhaps it was just the placebo effect, but xiao relaxed after downing half the cup. his muscles were noticeably less tense, his breathing almost completely normal.
as he finished the last few sips of tea, xiao's eyes began to flutter. you reached out to help him lie back down, but as you did, he wrapped his arms around you once again. he buried his face in your shirt, holding you so close that you may as well have just become one conjoined entity.
"please, don't let me go," he mumbled, drifting away into what you could only hope was a sweet dream.
"i'm not leaving," you whispered, holding him against you. though he was mostly unresponsive because of his sudden drowsiness, you knew deep down that the bond between you and xiao would only become stronger from here on.
and you absolutely had to find out what was in that tea.
over the course of your relationship with tighnari, you've made it a tradition between you to give each other flowers regularly.
he loves receiving flowers from you and will try to keep them alive for as long as he possibly can.
if you hand him a bouquet of flowers, he'll take the time to teach you the proper, scientific name for each one. his workspace is filled with flowers from you, and even when he doesn't have enough time to personally pick flowers with you, he can look to any corner of his office and admire all the colourful plants you brought him.
tighnari will also try to cultivate all the life you gift him. he'll carefully preserve the seeds if he can, to give all your flowers heirs. when he can't plant more flower seeds, he'll press and dry the flowers to give back to you as cards or bookmarks.
this form of re-gifting is a life cycle in itself, and even if he can't keep a flower's lineage flowing, he can still find ways to make you smile.
he always knows the right thing to say. be it to soothe you, compliment you, or just to break the silence, he hopes you can find comfort in his words <3
↳ tanizaki, tetchou, odasaku, gogol, fyodor
acts of service
he knows that actions speak louder than words for you. so, at any chance he gets, he'll try to make your life a little easier <3
↳ kunikida, tachihara, atsushi
gifts
he loves to spoil you with little things that he thinks you'd enjoy. everything reminds him of you, so it's never a challenge for him to find the perfect gift <3
↳ poe, fitzgerald, hirotsu
quality time
he loves to simply spend time with you, regardless of what you're doing. he'll prioritize you completely, always giving you his undivided attention <3
↳ ranpo, kenji, akutagawa, sigma
physical touch
he can't keep his hands off you, no matter where you are. through touching you, he expresses all the words he can't say <3
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