The Wrath of it All

[nirath-tovaul]

There's only so much you can do and say under the pressures of captivity, a feeling of restraint so suffocating there's no breaking free. A breath here and there, flooding your lungs with the intoxicating sense of being alive, fanning a flame that will only grow the more the oxygen within you dissipates.

Those first moments of blind rage, a sense of release unlike like anything I had felt before, falling from such a high in a spiral. A buzzing from every angle, panicked shouts and sprinting steps, an excruciating pain as I was forced into my prison once more.

Again, the sense of freedom is no longer mine. Even so, a flame was ignited and will continue to burn until satisfied.

[spaceeblack]

[nirath-tovaul]

The image of being a round-skulled, grey intergalactic species is rather intriguing to me. Being seen as something that’s rather harmless rather than the true beast that I can be, it’s rather amusing. Perhaps that is why humans are frightened of us, because they shelter themselves from the beings we truly are.  

[anangelfalls]

hir·aeth

/‘hir,āeth/

noun a homesickness for a home you can not return to or a home that never was.

[nirath-tovaul]

     There's no denying the fear, the feeling of being alone that's so haunting. A sense of displacement, as if everywhere you go, you're not truly apart of anything. Perhaps that's my greatest fear, never finding a place where I fit, never finding a place where people take me, for me. Though, logically thinking, isn't that everyone's fear in the end? I would assume such, considering everyone has someone. Family, friends, acquaintances, partners. Everyone is surrounded by someone, whether they're close or simply glancing by in a flash. Someone is always there. In a way, it feels as though that explains why I'm the way that I am. I'm always there, bowing down to whatever is needed, restrained when I'm 'free'. I'm supposed to be grateful, they say, grateful for the fact I'm still alive, that I am able to breath in air outside of my prison walls if even for a split moment. It's never-ending torture, toying with my sanity, feeding into a blood-lust that sees no end. They do not deserve me. Humanity deserves nothing. 

[nirath-tovaul]

Fear is difficult to explain. The fear of heights, tight spaces, the fear of being alone, abandonment. It’s all fear, yet it collects in different ways, presenting in rational and irrational manners. 

Acrophobia, claustrophobia, autophobia.

Perhaps that’s noticed after years of pain, being tossed aside carelessly once all purpose has been drained from the soul. 

You begin to notice the ticks, the anxiety that manifests, your own aggression. Why would I allow someone to get close, when all they will do is leave? 

[drugsandtvshowsallday]

[silk-dyke]

born of stars and living on earth, may the sea consume me in my end.

[nirath-tovaul]

Earth shall shatter beneath my feet, a species will be demolished by my hands alone.

Vengeance is such a charming thing, don’t you think~?

[alien-suggestion]

Earth is not safe for us.

[nirath-tovaul]

Earth is safe for no one. 

[wonting]

[nirath-tovaul]

Such a familiar sight, a home far beyond this galaxy, swimming within an ocean of stars.

[nirath-tovaul]

I will never break. 

I will never bow.

I will never submit.

I will hold my head high, I will destroy this world.

[nirath-tovaul]

I’m B. Nirath asked me to be here. I have to go soon but I have a new notes:

I don’t take requests

I don’t want to answer questions about myself or my work

I am Nirath’s boyfriend.

Bye

[alien-suggestion]

send me home, to the stars, i don’t care. just send me far, far away from here.

[nirath-tovaul]

Home is simply a distant memory.. 

[alien-suggestion]

i can’t wait for the end of the world

[nirath-tovaul]

If only such could come sooner. Such a miserable planet, full of pathetic creatures. 

Earth deserves new control, or new life.

[1st-1]

[nirath-tovaul]

Here comes revenge, just for you. Revenge, you can't undo. Revenge, it's killing me. Revenge, set me free. Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth. A life for a life, it's my burden of proof. Revenge, just for you. Revenge. You ask forgiveness, I give you sweet revenge. I return this nightmare, I will find you Sleepless, cloaked in despair, I'm behind you.  

[nirath-tovaul]

I am a King, Or an Emperor rather, I wear crown-imperial And prince's-feather; Golden-rod is the sceptre I wield and wag, And a broad purple flag-flower Waves for my flag. Elder the pithy With old-man and sage, These are my councilors Green in old age; Lord-and-ladies in silence Stand round me and wait, While gay ragged-robin Makes bows at my gate.

______________________

Christina Georgina Rossetti