muscle up, buttercup

what has two thumbs and is awesome? this guy. name's noa. mighta heard of my dad? big guy named maui. yeah, yeah. that maui. that's right. you're face to face with greatness.

[noa-atua]

TEXT ✉️✆ KOA

Kally: I mean, I figured! You kind of have a reputation for like, being at the beach as much as possible. I'm just trying to figure out if it'll help me train more for track without like, getting injured or if it's the same. Because if it's the same? Sooooo not worth all the sand I'd end up having stuck to me.

Noa: Who wouldn't want to be on the beach as much as possible? Crazy people, that's who. But I doubt it's the same. Not that I run track but I know that running on the street or sidewalk is different than sand, but not really sure if it's any more damaging or whatever.

[noa-atua]

margotfacilier‌:

Ooh, I think someone’s big mad he doesn’t have the attention on him for once. 

What attention are you even talking about? The pity party you’re throwing yourself? Oh, yeah. So jealous that you got your ass kicked and I didn’t. Really sounds awesome.

[noa-atua]

kekepaniangata‌:

Here I was thinking it was just the arrogance you’d gotten from your dad, but it must have been a two-for-one deal with stubbornness that day. Unfortunately for me and everyone involved, I can’t do annoying. I’m just too awesome. Looks like we’ll have to lean on Plan B. Johnny and Evie make sense, and maybe Zevon too - it was Yzma who had those potions that could turn people into animals. At least I’m pretty sure it was. I mix up my villains occasionally.

You wanna talk about being stubborn, let’s talk about the fact that he refuses to let me touch that magic hook of his. If I had that, you’d have a shark no problem. But because of him, you gotta go sweet talk someone with magic abilities to help out. Uh... was there a test on that or something? Because I couldn’t tell you.

[margotfacilier-blog]

Since none of you seem to be able to mind your business, I now have to torture myself and put on a jacket even if the weather doesn’t call for it. If you see bruises on me, don’t ask. It’s like none of you know the first rule of fight club. 

[noa-atua]

You know.... making a post about not asking is a good fucking way to get people to ask. It’s called “being an attention whore,” which is what this post reeks of. Think you’re already breaking the rules yourself there by even mentioning that.

[noa-atua]

kekepaniangata‌:

Ha, so tell me what you do and I’ll do the exact opposite of that, easy peasy. But for real, from my mom’s side of the story and from what I know of him, it sounds like your dad’s stubborn in general though so maybe I gotta think of a plan B. What do you think, demi dude? Anyone else around here seem like secret shapeshifter material?

Where do you think I get it? But it also sounded like your mom was just kind of annoying so, I dunno, maybe being annoying like that will work out for you. Maybe then he’ll cave like he caved and went to Te Fiti. What about that dude who’s mom was like some kind of witch? Or like didn’t Evie’s mom turn herself into an old hag?

[noa-atua]

kekepaniangata‌:

And disrespect such noble creatures like that? I couldn’t….unless the shark was your dad and he consented to me using him like a board! Now I’m considering asking him for that as my birthday present this year, damn. You know him better than I do, how do I make it impossible for him to say no?

No idea why you’re asking me when all he does is tell me no. But pretty sure if you bug him enough, he’ll cave eventually. Worked for your mom, right? He seems to have a pretty hard time telling her no. Who’s to say it won’t work for you too?

[noa-atua]

TEXT ✉️✆ KOA

Kalasin: So... running on the sand being better for your joints, myth or fact?

Noa: Uh... I don't have a problem with it?

[marykatehood]

“It doesn’t matter where you are going, it’s who you have beside you.”

Moodboard for @noa-atua

[noa-atua]

grahamhunters‌:

So today a girl came up to me and said “Hey, you’re that dude from that football frat.” Until then it didn’t occur to me that almost everyone in our house is also on the football team, but once it did I had a revelation: We should be the football frat. I mean look at us, there’s no team or house more charming, jacked, or down to have a good time. So basically what I need from you fans of ASU Fighting Knights is to sing a petition stating that @ticktockbents has to join the football team as our waterboy at least.

What better way to get people to sign shit for us then to throw a rager. Think of it as a pre-welcoming Bentley to the team party. How fast can we get one together, you think? By next weekend?

[noa-atua]

kekepaniangata‌:

Goat yoga looks cute and all but there’s got to be some leveled up cooler version of it. I’m thinking ram rock-climbing, and they’d try to headbutt you off their mountain as you scaled the side of it; it’s such a bomb idea that I’m sure it’ll be real someday. In the meantime, I dare anyone to come up with a better animal-workout combo. Five bucks says you can’t.

I can definitely think of something with sharks and surfing if you give me more than a minute... oh, duh. Shark surfing! I dare you to get on top of a shark and make it do what you want.

[noa-atua]

marykatehood‌:

Okay, technically I didn’t ask, but I got the nice part at least! I pretty much implied it would be the best thing ever, I thought that was right up ‘Noa ego boost alley.’ If I toss a ‘please’ in there would that do the trick? I’d maybe even be willing to go up to ‘pretty please,’ although don’t push your luck toooooo much.

Implying isn’t the same as actually telling me that I’m the best, though. And me jumping out a cake? Seems like a pretty good way of me telling you that you’re awesome. But a ‘pretty please?’ Damn, you must want it bad. Luckily for you, I think I got a little bit of time I can squeeze in belated birthday cake jumping, just for my favorite girl. 

[noa-atua]

jungleboyblake‌:

The trees are taller than the T-rexes, I got this. You’re seriously underestimating me here, dude! I bet it we both got dropped into Jurassic Park together, you’d get eaten way before I did. 

And you’re seriously underestimating a hungry, savage dino. Dude, no way! First of all, if I was going anywhere near Jurassic Park I’d make damn sure to have my dad’s hook with me. Even if I don’t get to use its magic I can use it to smack ‘em upside the head a few times.

[noa-atua]

TEXT ✉️ø NOLANI

Leilani: I still think it is true! I mean, you guys all have other people who could keep you happy if I left. I'm not going to go out of my way to die or move or anything but I know all my favorite people are in good hands and could, you know, keep on keeping on without me if they ever had to.

Leilani: GETTING ME A DOG IS THE WORST IDEA YOU'VE EVER HAD, IT WOULD PROBABLY MAKE ME CRY. If you wanted to go home and steal Pua from my mom and bring him here to me though...

Noa: Ugh, who am I because I'm literally about to tell you that just because we have other people doesn't mean we need you any less and I sound like a freaking after school program you owe me a beer now this is your fault.

Noa: OR THE BEST IDEA. Shock therapy, heard of it? Might be just what you need 😃

[noa-atua]

TEXT ✉️$ NOBBY

Abby: I'm not using the word endgame, that word's stupid even if it's true! Which is just another way that I'm better than you because who knows if someone can put up with A JERK LIKE YOU for long.

Noa: Thanks, kid. I needed that laugh. Better than me, that's a good one.

[noa-atua]

TEXT ✉️⁇ EMOA

Emmett: l9ol i mean we tohught about dong a betting pool on whow long it would last wehn you starterd but we didnt'. does that,ma ean you don't wanna still vbe i n it or...?

Emmett: lol i tors okay dde if you wertner;t comparig it to yoruself then all id' dhave to compare it to would be ne and quincy adn taht owuld be enough to make me wanna never falla for another ilgr ever again. friwend winter is cool hrough you should taltk to her when wehave a mixer with them. kee;t her araway from stupid gaston.

Noa: I'm offended by both the lack of faith you guys have in me and the fact that you didn't go through with it. Shit, that does kinda sound like that huh. Nah, MK just makes it easy. She's not big on the whole thing either, so it's, idk. Chill.

Noa: Okay, help me out here. Which one's the stupid one?

[noa-atua]

@scarlettcorazon

Why would you ever force me to go on a date with you when you could leave me alone with a bunch of cute dinosaurs instead? Do you know how many photos Leilani would force us to take?

Because obviously she’s gonna force photo ops on me no matter who I go with, so if I have to suffer, you have to suffer. I don’t make the rules, babe. I just gotta follow them.

[noa-atua]

TEXT ✉️ø THOA

Theo: It's like they think I'm gonna wife them up or something if I let them star in one video lol, freaking weirdos but whatever, they make for funny content. YEAH and I can always point people towards videos of you jumping off cliffs or whatever in the description, win win.

Noa: They're freshman lmao they gotta prove that they can like be hot or whatever. They seem to get worse every year, though. Like not even kidding you, I swear I saw this one freshie look like she was about to like dry hump some kid.