young and wild and free

THEO MEDICI. 23. ASU SENIOR. AURATUBER. The name's Theo and if you're here you're probably looking for a good laugh. Don't be fooled, the videos with the most views aren't always the funniest -- you should probably just be a good bro and watch all of them to figure that out for yourself, though. New content coming every week, so keep your eyes out to see what kind of weird shit I'm gonna do next. Later!

[theomedici]

Text || Theo & Arya

Arya: HA! FLAMING HOT CHEETOH TORCH!

Arya: thats amazing, id be so down for that

Theo: What other foods out there do you think would be hella flammable?

[theomedici]

text || thori ⛄🎪

Bori: A camera system like it was surround sound or something 😂 That sounds totally you, actually. And lol that does sound pretty basic but basic things are so easy to get into. Like, when I had my first Pumpkin Spice Latte? I knew I'd never make fun of them again. Hmm, I know for sure Floridaman needs a mask and a cape that's maybe a newspaper filled with headlines about him! And slippers that are gators!

Bori: Did she? I assume people start bland in that kind of show LOL. THEY REALLY ARE, I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO WAKE UP AND NOT IMMEDIATELY GRAB MY PHONE AND CHECK THE #.

Theo: For real? That stuff makes my stomach hurt and you've seen the crap I eat on my videos, I have like a stomach of steel. I'm into other basic stuff, though. Being basic's usually hilarious. Like an Old Spice commercial. Does his mask look like an Orange? The cape thing's genius, though.

Theo: If people are bland it's boring af, that's why I think The Office sucks. Parks and Rec had people that were totally off the wall, that's what kept everyone watching.

[theomedici]

text ✉✿ thincy

Quincy: When you're wearing rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags! I assumed both of those things after a while but for an long time, the plus sides to being with him really outweighed the minus ones for a long time. There was a lot of good with us and I was, like, legit in love with him maybe. Idk, when you want something to be perfect, your brain does a good job of tricking you into believing it. LOL Lina is amazing but she's way more than just a princess. If she wanted serious in the first place she probably wouldn't have dated you, would she? Maybe you brought something else she needed to the table, but hey, maybe that's just me. Alrighty then. Should it be five boys or five people in general?

Theo: Well, props to you for not being all ape-shit about it and demanding he stop to Winter or accusing him of cheating on you or something, that's what crazy girls would do. I like that you added the maybe at the end lol. Keep the maybe, it'll make it feel more special when you fall in love more the next time. Yeah, which is like fine for a college relationship, but probably embarrassing af for her family after college is over and she's out in her real princessy world. Lol your top five plus however many guys it would take to get to 5 on top of that, too.

[theomedici]

venusfitzherbert‌:

I think people would completely and easily believe us! We’re good looking people who speak super confidently; we’re so convincing that we could sell farts to a butthole. Alright, mime day it is! It’ll have to wait till after finals though because UGH finals. And they do let you retake it, but only three times in one year…. but you know what? Screw it. If I look at the first one as a practice, it takes the pressure off to know I’ll fail anyway and everyone does better at things when they take the pressure off, right?

Fuck yeah we could! We’re the fart store and people can’t wait to get in line for us. Eh, if you don’t pass this year for some reason just take a year to film crazy ass videos with me, it’ll make your resume more well-rounded or something. And would have people banging down your door to be your doctor, you’d be like an instant famous sexy Grey’s Anatomy type one, you’re welcome. 

[theomedici]

ajaxapostolos‌:

Aw man, I love brussel sprouts, I’m so down! And I’m game for a weird condiment cheat day, that sounds fun. Besides, how weird can condiments get?

When you start mixing them together? Weird as you want, my man. And I’m counting pickle juice as a condiment.

[theomedici]

kekepaniangata‌:

Your off the cuff ideas aren’t bad, Medici. Giraffe golfing has some potential, if the giraffes lower their necks and use their heads like clubs. But okay, interesting proposal. You’d have to prove you can keep up with a trial run of some kind before I say yes or no. What’s in it for me, though? I mean, you get followers and fun shit to do, but what do I get out of having my life recorded? My mom didn’t have her greatest adventure recorded, after all, and it was still epic.

Or if you put the golf course on the ceiling and the ball’s magnetized to it so that when the giraffe knocks it it doesn’t fall right on the ground. Prove I can keep up? Dude, I so got this. I would literally try so hard I die for this, it sounds worth it. Uh... Memories if you get Alzheimer’s? People never doubting you again? The selflessness that comes with making me happy even if you don’t care?

[theomedici]

matchmakr ||✿ thally

Ally: Well of course you can't, dear, that's why it was a dream! Where the universe allows you pleasures that reality limits. I think personally that flannel boxer-briefs would be sexier than the boots but either way it would likely be the most visited page of your frats calendar by far.

Ally: You know what they say, expect the unexpected and you'll be right every time. And that's a good one! I think I would go with invisibility. It would be a joy to see how people behave when they think nobody is watching. And I can already put my legs behind my head so I think I'm flexible enough. You? Flexibility or invisibility?

Theo: Shouldn't be surprised that you're a girl who likes to leave a little bit up to the imagination :p Now I've gotta pitch that calendar idea to people, sounds like we'd have at least one buyer.

Theo: I was also going to go invisibility, but it was just because it seemed like it made for better GOTCHA moments. You're seriously that flexible as is? Can I call you Pretzel Girl?

[theomedici]

(x)

[theomedici]

Text || Theo & Arya

Arya: hahahaha, right??? i wanted to, but i had other priorities that night lol

Arya: OH HELL YEAH DUDE. Okay, okay, categories would be, number of flips, quality of flips, and splash radius. p typical criteria, right?

Theo: Yeah, although if we really wanna spice it up, props involved in the flipping's good too. Like what if I'm jumping with a flaming torch made out of Cheetos? Extra lit.

[theomedici]

ruefitz‌:

Yeah, there’s no restraining her. But you’re probably right about that frying pan theory. And no offense, but if I saw that happen, I’d probably laugh.

Oh please, how could I, sweet Ruby Fitzherbert, ever crush the spirit of the great Theo Medici?

Okay, but important question: would other people laugh too, or just you? Because if you think people would be into it I could totally film her beating the shit out of me with a frying pan. 

That sounds sketchy as hell, Rue. I’m watching you!

[theomedici]

matchmakr ||✿ thally

Ally: Lots of things! Chopping wood is the first one I can think of and oh my flamingod, it made me quite warm beneath the collar.

Ally: Also you were shirtless quite a lot but that's besides the point.

Ally: Skeletons are sexy to some people! Not me, but we don't kink-shame in the Kingsleigh house. I would pick super endurance also, because it sounds fun. Who hasn't wanted to spend a whole week in bed?

Theo: I can't chop wood shirtless, flannel's like, mandatory! Unless I was doing it in flannel pants shirtless. Or maybe flannel boxers? Or maybe I wasn't wearing anything and I was wearing flannel lined boots, that sounds like it would be perfect if my frat did a sexy calendar.

Theo: Damn, I was not expecting that to be your answer to that. I dig it. All right, let's go with intense like, Elastigirl flexibility, or invisibility?

[theomedici]

venusfitzherbert‌:

Maybe it was that the hidden message was the actual lyrics backwards! That would be wild. Huh, how many points would miming all day get me? Because I bet I could do it! Yeah, well, sure, it’d be great for your video, I’m entertaining as hell - what it wouldn’t be great for is my MCAT score!

You’re making me wanna go on a wild goose chase for hidden meanings in stuff here; do you think people would believe us if we totally bullshitted it for like, basically everywhere we went? You’d hit the point jackpot on that front. I’d have to scramble to like, give you a bonus prize or something too, like a gift with purchase kind of deal. Hey, they let you retake MCATs if you bomb, right? Just think of the one you screw up as a practice test, if you screw up at all.

[theomedici]

text ✉✿ thincy

Quincy: Okay. So, Emmett never talked to me about, like, important things or his feelings because, as he so often reminded me, that was the kind of thing he talked to only Winter about. In my opinion, if he was able to be as open with me, at least SOME, we would've lasted longer and been better. But also, I should've followed my gut about feeling sups weird about his separation of relationship duties between me and his best friend from the beginning and dumped him sooner no matter how much I wanted the security and status of a relationship and that's on me. That's my emotional baggage lol; I've been doing a lot of introspection since :-P At least I know what to look for next time, right? LOLOL oh sweetie, I can think of five people cooler than you off the top of my head but I'm afraid if I list them they'll suddenly disappear. Lina is pretty cool though, that one I can't argue.

Theo: LOL damn, and that didn't set off red flags? He didn't have the 'it's guy stuff' excuse, I'd have either assumed he just didn't give you the credit you deserved to like, react good or else he was shit-talking you and that's why he couldn't talk about it. But hey, maybe that's just me. Introspection's cool though lol. I did a lot of that when me and Lina broke up. I'm just not all like... serious and shit. She's a princess who's gonna like, fucking rule the world someday, she deserved more serious than I was ever gonna be able to give her. Bring on the list! I'm not gonna agree with you anyway, so there can't be some kind of curse on that front if it seems fake to me anyway :-p

[theomedici]

TEXT ✉️☎ THANJA

Anja: I bet she'd love that!!! She can look up with her cute reindeer face like "hello hooman, where are my carrots?"

Theo: And then you can rain down carrot cake on everyone so it's like she's sharing with her peeps.

[theomedici]

text || thori ⛄🎪

Bori: YOOOOOO PIMP MY RIDE WAS THE SHIT! It was hilariously over the top, some dude would show up like, let's say me, and tell the people all their interests and then the host Xhibit and his crew would make over the car and pimp it out to match the owner's interests and it usually ended in a car that was so overly decorated or modified that it wasn't even legal to drive. Laguna Beach ironically is one I barely know anything about but it sounds like brilliant trash TV! I think I'm going to be Floridaman for Halloween now lol.

Bori: She's hotter on her own show but yeah she's still just *waggles hand in the air non-committally* I forgot Rashida Jones was even on there LOL! And yeaaaah hating on things isn't my brand and I don't want to isolate my viewers :( WHEN DID IT BECOME SO EASY TO BE OBSESSED WITH MY SUBSCIRBER COUNT?

Theo: Damn, well if I ever get a car I'm gonna have to check it out for inspiration. I just know that my car would need to have a camera on the inside in case I feel like being hilarious while I'm behind the wheel. It was pretty basic - rich bitches in bikini, love triangles, Kelly Clarkson songs in a limo to prom. But so addicting somehow. What even does into that costume? Floridaman does so much wild shit it's hard to be sure.

Theo: Ann got so bland at the end of Parks & Rec that if her character was anything like that Rashida probably looked less hot to match the less hot personality anyway. BRO SUBSCRIBER COUNTS ARE LIKE, RED BULL FOR YOUR SOUL.

[theomedici]

ajaxapostolos‌:

Oh Gods. Is there gross foods that wouldn’t wreck my diet?

I mean, people think brussel sprouts are nasty, so sure. We can do the nasty vegetable test with you, but maybe on your cheat day so you won’t freak if I put weird ass condiments on everything.

[theomedici]

What would you do if you woke up without your six pack?

A fuckton of core exercises. Unless you mean the beer, in which case I’d go grab more from the store.