Sorrow

Black sheep

[noplaceb0y]

Diagnosed with fucking ADHD WTF XD??? istg i dont have fucking adhd and yet diagnosed im actually going to end it, they js diagnose me and put me on pills, no help whatsoever just pills genuienly im ending it after i change my name so in my grave itll be engraved.

nothing is fucking real and what do i get? adhd fucking nice W psychologist im just gonna end it and now i wait knowing my end anxiously tomorrow or in some months its the fucking end

[noplaceb0y]

Change my name leave my past behind and die probably thats the future i'll have and yet everyone will forever expect more of me nothing is enough for them.

the only thing i've ever wanted was to be normal always got treated like i was an outkast did i deserve to be alone? did i deserve to suffer?

grew emotionally and socially dettached i don't matter as much as others, i'm just there and nobody will ever fucking understand me "i'm there for you no matter what" lies XD

no matter who reads this shit you wont get it you can't comprehend my feelings or what i feel i don't know who i am everything feels fake one day i'll disappear and everyone will wonder "what happened?" nothing happened, i'm fine the day i kill myself there won't be no messages i will just do it and end my fucking misery.

i'm completely fucking done.

[noplaceb0y]

Nevermind.

I thought i was getting better but they were just fake hopes, i cant, ill stay like this till i die. forever stuck in not knowing who am i or where i am, therapist does nothing but to ask questions that i dont even know the answer for.

i give up, forever stuck in a loop of staying or not i cant keep living in a filthy delusion out of fear. it chases but maybe i should let it catch me.

[noplaceb0y]

today i cameback to where i studied years back, can't believe i got this far even tho years went by and i didnt do anything worth mentioning.

even tho i dont recognize myself, i think im alive surviving atleast and thats smth to be proud of.

everything will fall into place in anyway possible.

[noplaceb0y]

will it ever get better? i can see the light outside of the curtain but no matter how much i try, ill never see the sun shine through my window.

i forgot how the sky looked like maybe one day i'll remember, will i be able to feel real? or in reality death is the only way out of this pothole?

Time's ticking and i don't have more time left.

[thisisthefuckingendd]

I used to think I’d be stuck forever in that depressive headspace, like, no hope at all. I mean, being 11 and already thinking about how to get attention and how to hurt myself… that’s not normal. And the crazy part is, the world wasn’t attacking me, it was me against myself.

Those years felt endless. The pain dragged on forever, locked in the bathroom like that. But now, looking back, it all went by so fast… and weirdly, I kinda miss not having the responsibilities I’ve got now. These days I don’t even have the time or energy to focus on myself or figure out who I am. Maybe that’s actually my way of avoiding myself, so I don’t fall back into that dark place again. Just forget who I am and focus on being useful to everyone else. I know that stepping away from my identity is what helped me find some mental and physical peace… but is that really who I am?

This low-key little corner used to feel like home, and coming back to it today just makes me look back… without really knowing how I’m supposed to feel about it.

[noplaceb0y]

The sorrowness in my heart can't be overtaken, doesnt matter how happy i get.

It will forever be there waiting to enter my heart once again.

Sorrow is truly loyal to me it never went away, it always waited for me, it'll be the only thing truly for me, forever waiting to eat me whole.

[noplaceb0y]

BEST flavour EVER, OG always on top 🔥🔥