[spicymochi]

pick a tiny bird friend!

[velvetcloak]

[elumish]

I honestly think Gen-Z and younger simply does not understand how recent widespread smartphone adoption is.

I am not that old, and I didn't have a smartphone until probably late high school. For most of my life, many if not most people were not walking around with a magic internet machine in their pocket that they pulled out and used constantly for everything.

[sandumilfshous]

reblog if you remember having to ration your text messages and accidentally opening the internet on your phone was the end of the world

[feralfennecfox]

I love taking care of garter snakes so much

[lionesshathor]

Baby hydras are quite shy until they grow large enough to deter predators.

[bobdylanyume]

women around the world heed my call. your comfort above everything. dont put on those shoes that hurt after walking in them for 30 minutes dont wake up 1 hour and a half earlier to put on make up or do your hair dont tolerate a man talking down to you dont follow trends you dont care for dont let yourself feel hungry dont go places or do things to please someone else and most importantly. try that hobby or class or job that you think you will fail at.

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

I feel lied to. This is where the bugs bunny NO meme cokes from

[an-enigmatic-mind]

[liquid-geodes]

Ah lads they fucking rotated him

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

[kalianos]

[yan-town]

[ythok]

Me, reading this whole post:

[pope74220]

NOW it’s you

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Oh yea? Well guess what bro

[polyphonetic]

[fallenwillow44]

Best post I've seen all day

[dat-physics-gal]

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

[ericvilas]

[mysticblondex]

unfortunately I am not attractive enough to identify as a hot mess but I am definitely a room temperature inconvenience

[whydidisavethistomyphone]

[mikkeneko]

#At this point they're just feeding him prime ministers - via @copiccrow

[daftpatience]

this messed up vintage cat sewing pattern has tormented me since i saw it & like some other folks have done in that post - i tried my hand at tweaking the pattern to resemble the illustration (and my personal tastes) a little more. i've ended up with this. i bestow it upon you nice folks now 👐

(update 2, added instructions & it's also on my Kofi!)

go forth and make weird little beanbag kittens! pls show me if you do!

[cidham]

amir khusrow (1253–1325 CE)

[cherepashkadrabbles]

This is back on my dash! And listen, I love to see Amir Khusrau getting appreciation, but this translation ignores a lot. The original rhymes! And scans! And does playful things with register! And conveys a tone of affectionate banter between the two speakers, not least because it has them both addressing each other as sakhi (translated above as “girl”) in the last two lines. I think taking some liberties with line order is worth it to preserve more of the rest—and I think there’s a better translation of sakhi. And so:

He only visits once a year, I splurge big on him when he’s here, His kisses make my tastebuds tango. Who, bitch, your man? Nah, bitch, a mango.

[orteil42]

Wait, you were actually born in the 1900's? Thats so cool

i am going to eat my own entire skin

[idabbleincrazy]

Reblog if you were born in the 1900's.

[avoiding-claws]

[hppjmxrgosg]

"going out to get milk" is a common turn of phrase used to describe a man abandoning his family.

the "milkman" is a common figure in stories depicting a woman's infidelity and adulterous affair.

this implies that the ability to provide milk would both decrease the likelihood of a man abandoning his wife and children, as it would eliminate the need for leaving to get milk AND would secure that man's marriage, as his wife would have no need to seek milk from an extraneous source.

therefore, all men should produce milk, through various means such as:

- being a cow

- being an almond

- being a woman

- being a coconut

- being in the omegaverse

- being an oat

(list is exemplary and not finite)

in this essay, i will redefine the nuclear family and explain the seductive and inflammatory nature of the 1993 "Got Milk?" commercials.

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

just started watching house and I thought yall were exaggerating but no. every episode is just like three wrong diagnoses that almost kill the patient and then house is like "he has underwater skunk herpes" and they give the guy a new butthole and he's cured. and then house chugs vicodin while talking about wanting to rail wilson.

[literary-sparks]

“Why don’t you use ai” idk man beyond the obvious environmental and “this machine causes psychosis and encourages people to kill themselves” thing I think asking the equivalent of a solid D student who is also a pathological liar if they can answer my question/do the work for me seems pretty fucking stupid

[definitely-not-several-bugs]

The spell master: God damn it, where on earth is my magic crystal ball????

The suspiciously hungry and round bug:

[the-true-tusk]

What is this thing

[brappypatty]

shoutout to my fellow Ornate Amphipod enjoyers

[hisuizorua]

they call it amtrak because the trains am on the trak

[classycookiexo]