Anyone else notice how in a lot of the “self-care isn’t X, it’s Y” posts, X is always something that is genuinely helpful to some disabled people, and Y is often, like, shit you’d hear at a corporate wellness seminar? Or on a productivity-hacks-to-make-sure-you’ve-got-time-for-your-side-hustle-on-top-of-your-full-time-job podcast?
Like, I have really bad executive functioning issues and sensory issues. So, when someone’s like “self-care isn’t eating frozen pizza/ordering take away, it’s meal prepping” I’m like, cool, but what if the only meal prep you’ve got left takes more spoons to reheat than you’ve got? What if your sensory issues are really bad today, and you can’t stomach the stuff you’ve got prepped?
At that point, frozen pizza or ordering in is self-care because self-care is making sure I can eat at all.
Or, like, “self-care isn’t buying fancy skincare products, it’s doing a daily meditation and yoga practice”.
Like, I see fancy skincare products used as a target a lot, despite the fact that sometimes you genuinely are paying for quality. Like, the only make-up remover that doesn’t upset my psoriasis is from Clinique, and, like, my instinct is to go “that’s too expensive” and not buy it, but the self-care choice for me is to actually find that room in my budget and buy the damn products because I have to wear make-up for work and this saves my skin.
And I also do yoga and meditation, and I like them and do find them helpful.
You know who else likes that I do them? Every corporate wellness goon in existence because it makes me a more productive worker.
That’s not why I do it, but I do wonder what the motivation is when people are recommending it over other forms of self-care.
And, like, don’t get me wrong, I get it. There are people who use “self-care” when they are specifically just looking to shirk responsibilities, and it has been co-opted to mean “buy stuff” in some cases, but blanket statements of “X is never self-care” very often just end up making disabled people who do need X feel like shit. And, you know, unfortunately, we do live under capitalism, under which there is no ethical consumption. Sometimes we do need to buy shit. So, I’m not really here for the idea that any self-care that requires a purchase, no matter how small, isn’t really self-care, because that’s not how society works. Yes, it’s shit that it’s been co-opted, but spending £25 on a new keyboard because you’ve got arthritis and would like to not be in as much pain is still self-care, even if a purchase was made.
dededos
kianamaiart
izzy806
blakekathryn
