Not So Radical acceptance

Wallowing is part of getting through the muck. If there is enough to wallow, you can’t deny it’s there.

[not-so-radicalacceptance]

Welcome to the wallow.

One day there might be something worth having under all this muck that buried my life, and there is only one way to find out. I’m laying out all the messy feelings-what made made the shit circumstances and what it looks like now- reporting live from the middle of it. One day it might look more like wading than wallowing.

That’s the hope anyway.

[not-so-radicalacceptance]

Half again.

I was half before you.

Looking for the other side,

filing the spaces and gaps

with anything, anyone I could reach.

I became a new whole

In rapid succession

breaking my own shape

For a better fit, endless split, hide and seek

But you found me

We found my parts I’d lost

You made me something new

Something someone might want to keep

Months and years change our shape

I usually liked our creation

Even when I liked it less

It was more than half

safe was close enough to complete

More time brought a strange space

I stretched over the divide

I carved myself away

Anything to make our edges still meet

Pieces shear against, shred

then fall away and are lost

Nowhere left to bend,

so we break in between

So now I’m half again

Now somehow less than before

How do I learn to be whole

When what’s left is too weak to dream?

[lovemarriagebg3-deactivated2026]

❤️ Meet @pickel182 ❤️

"Fluff and Smut lover. Celery Hater. Victim of the Lesbian-to-Astarion-romancer pipeline. My plus-size OC Titania, AKA Tav has rotted my brain with the rest of the BG3 Tadfools since full access, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

[pickel182]

AHHHHH it’s almost time! I’ll share a snippet soon I promise 🥹

[not-so-radicalacceptance]

As bad as this is

Where did we go off the tracks?

So far from the start

And now I can’t remember

Sometimes it’s gentle

Sometimes it’s easy

Now I wonder if

I’ll make it to December

There are days that I’m sure

We can only go up

Before we turn a sharp curve

And find a new low

Is waiting just for me

I can’t find the end

Or if it does end

Though now I am afraid

it’s your new beginning

I ask, you don’t know

Can’t say, or won’t say

It’s only us two

Stuck here on this ride

How did the odds get so stacked?

But I’ll keep trying

To reach for your hand

So i won’t miss it

If you decide to reach back

But so many twists

And turns come so fast

I’m doing my best

To hold out for you

But I get turned the wrong way

Rough patches shake me

Sometimes I feel sick

But I’ll hold it in

Hide my mess with edges frayed

I feel so dizzy

So I close my eyes

And I remember

What we looked like

When the journey meant something

But we’re stuck here now

Going nowhere fast

The wind burns my eyes

And tears swept away still sting

Nowhere left to run

So I pull inwards

But then so do you

Bound to each other

Stuck in our self-made restraints

As bad as this is

Neither of us leave

Living on old dreams

Of together, a warm embrace

So we’ll keep reaching

Because just the thought

Of apart must be a worse place

[not-so-radicalacceptance]

Made of us

We lost the plot

We lost each other

Struggling

Starving

Tangled

In a trap we made of us

I am flayed for your freedom

Phantom limbs

Still reach

For a well of comfort long dry

The days before we suffered

treasured moments

Keep me afloat

I forgot how your laugh sounded

The memory did no justice

How could I forget

Even if I lost mine

You are free of me to be whole

And you turn to chase the light

Find new warmth

A new self

Your hope is so bright

Brilliant

Joyful

Worthy

I cannot regret my wound

Though I’m too weak to follow

I’ll stay

Just here

And if nothing else

It’s still the last place

Made of us