Moron

20 smth (She/Her/They/Them) w/ social anxiety and attachment issues. I like Yandere and Foods

[notasinglebraincells]

AroAce Spectrum Vent:

- Dont get me wrong, I'm comfortable with the fact that I'm on the aroace spectrum and supportive of everyone in the community. However, being raised my whole life in a romance centrist world, I cant help but feel like I'm missing out on something. I love my parents, my pets, and my friends. And other aroace people just seem so happy and content with that fact, but I can't seem to be satisfy with it. I want to experience romance, I want to experience it in it most beautiful forms. I want crushes, I want to feel the puppy love, the passionate one. I want to have butterflies in my stomach just at the thought of them, to understand an emotion that so many stories portray. And I also want to experience romance in it ugliest form, the jealousy, the anger, the argument, getting to understand heartbreak. I want to sit on a couch, eating a tub of ice cream and crying over a stupid boy that broke my heart. And then, to give romance another chance and fall in love again.

- I just want to experience a romantic relationship in it full forms, and I just sometimes feel that it so unfair that other people able to experience romantic love so easily. I want to be able to get romantically invested in someone too, to date them, to get engaged, getting marry and a wedding, having a family and grow old. Yet, I just can't imagine what that other person would be, they're simply just smoke in my fantasy that I desperately yearning for. I tried my best to find someone to love, but it no use since I kept making friends instead if finding someone to have a crush on. I kept searching, but humans don't feel appealing to me. And there are days I wonder if I desire romance so much for it aesthetic only because I already spent so much part of my life missing out. Wondering if I'm truly on the aroace spectrum or is it because of another screw up childhood moment that redefine what I could had been since I yearn for romance and romantic relationship so much.

TLDR: aroace spec w/ imposter syndrome OP want romance but cant romance. God give their hardest challenge to their strongest soldiers, but seem like they overestimate OP on this challenge. OP is doing a lots of self-discovery and self-understanding for Pride this year.

[vesselhands]

i wish that i was like a hot boy

[zetsho]

i've been holding on to this comic for almost a year and i think it's still the funniest thing i've ever drawn. happy pride 🏳‍🌈

[ppups]

[notasinglebraincells]

Identity Crisis: vent post/might delete later

Be me:

- Born into a conservative, traditional household where queerness often view as an illness. So such topic was never discussed.

- Understanding that language and gender roles are human concept created by flaw people at the age of 6.

- Got secretly exposed to queer media and slowly grow to understand about different orientations. Parents dont know internet safety, so I end up reading tons of yaoi and yuri.

- Understand as an AFAB, I always going to be seen as a girl and a woman. Feel comfortable in my body, sometimes wishing I look even more femme and fit the beauty standard.

- Grow up, make friends that happened to be queer, learn a lots. Start questioning my sexuality on the ace spectrum. Can't decide if it due to the effect of purity culture or childhood trauma. So, push it aside because I still like men.

- Fantasize about what if I was born as a male, what if I was presented as a male, and what if I look more like my ideal male.

- Got heavily into fandom x reader, created a female self-sona. Then decided to create a gender bend version of that self-sona. Actually like the gender bend version a lot. Chart it up to just enjoying creating OCs.

- Discuss with friends about sex in relationship. Thought it would be normal if me and my partner waited 3-5 years before having sex. It was not. Other friends said 3-5 months before having sex for the first time with partner is ideal for them. Questioning about the ace spectrum again

- Pandemic time. The thoughts intensified. Definitely somewhere on the ace spec. Questioning gender identity. Feel okay when addressed as she/her, expected it even. They/them fine too, gender neutral, sometimes feel fun. Getting call a he/him, unexpected, joke about being misgendered, but kinda feel nice later when going to bed. Still, pushes that thought aside and chart it up to other issue around misogyny.

- Post-pandemic, identify as demi-ace and perhaps apagender(?) But start feeling like a fraud cuz I still enjoy being presented as fem on most occasion. So I drop it.

- Still can't distinguish between wanting to be with my type of guy or wanting to become my type of guy.

- Wishing I could be androgynous sometimes.

- Wishing I can be a boy sometimes, to be call handsome, to be see as a pretty boy too, to be perceives as masc occasionally.

- Wishing I can just go between different sex and gender whenever I feel like. Wanting to be able to wear masc, fem, and androgynous clothings however I like.

- Thinking that I might be gender fluid. Decide to add they/them to my pronouns to test thing out online.

- Conflict about the label, feeling like an attention seeker because I don't feel for transitioning. Can't have a trial run of socially transition irl due to living in a conservative state and surrounded by very conservative family. (I'm trynna not get written out of the will cuz i need that bag)

- Start to worry if I might just be an attention seeker that fetishizing queerness just to feel special. And the entire time im just another cishet woman that misunderstand aspect of attractions, of genders, of what it mean to be gender-fluid and nonbinary. Thinking I'm a complete imposter that pretending for attention because of some internalize misogyny or something.

- Still not sure who i am. Being on the acespec feel somewhat right, idea of sex sound fun, but physical aspect of it with another person in irl range from 'Ew' to 'Maybe after we know each other real well'. A whore for 2D characters thought. And then, being fem is just a default for me and I enjoy feminity. But also enjoy it if I can become androgynous or look like a boy too. Just want to be praise as pretty girl, pretty boy, or pretty.

[notasinglebraincells]

So emotionally drained that getting to lay my head on a femboy’s thighs and fondling his slutty waist line are the only things that can recharge me.

[willgrahamscock]

any ship can be problematic because I have the heart and soul of a depraved pervert

[sayonara56]

credits to @boiyaang

[nanviart]

But I couldn't save you, I couldn't make it to you Trapped in endings I don't want you to know

[zetsho]

after drawing this, my brain started thinking abt the stupidest thing that could happen next

[nitricaciddraws]

PC knocked on his door

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

reblog if you’re anti censorship and against harassing real people over fictional characters

[proship-shuujuu]

sometimes asexuality will strike you at the weirdest of times. i am a very sex and kink positive person, so i sometimes tend to forget that i'm asexual, or, truthfully, that sex even exists in real life.

reading and writing smut? great, love it!

looking at nsfw art of The Characters? awesome, give me more!

watching bridgerton or heated rivalry or any other live-action show that features a lot of sex? i am so viscerally uncomfortable that i'm going to tear my eyes out and flush them down the toilet.

[vetchtibbles]

funny how normal human rights don’t have to apply to you if your parents don’t want them to

[vetchtibbles]

I was going to say “if you’re a child” but remembered when I turned 18 and realised I was still stuck at home and nothing was going to change if my parents didn’t want it to

[isuggestyouthliberation]

i have a suggestion

[notasinglebraincells]

Life

[greelin]

thought i hallucinated this image for ages but i finally found it again

[notasinglebraincells]

Mood fr

[ticket-to-hell-lottery-winner]

the thing that manifested itself from my brother's blood

[psych3-delic]

Yesterday I killed him. Today I resurrected him