pulvis et umbra sumus.

" i have a little shadow that goes in and out of me, and what can be the use of him is more than i can see." — kim hansol. — contour. — twenty. — gifted with shadow animation.

[nothansol]

hey -- i know ... i know i left first. [ / he sort of expected the sting that comes with saying that out loud, but that failed to lessen how much admitting it brought him down. all hansol thought about beforehand was where his lilac-wired, all-knowing friend had gone off to -- he didn't linger over the fact that he'd done the same thing, if only because kim byungjoo was more important when it came to things like this.

he was more important because you never knew if you'd be able to bring him b a c k. ]

i, uh ... had to go away for a while and it lasted way longer than i wanted it to. honest -- but ... i'm back now, alright? [ / you wouldn't have to twist his arm to get him to admit that he missed bjoo; it was a given, since that's kind of what best friends do when they're separated. ] fancy ... yeah, joo. [ / he doesn't want to frown because that's just not something kim hansol does, but there's a fault in his smile as he looks at bjoo and sees all the ways a soul can bruise. ] let me help you get out of there. to where i am -- okay? just tell me what i have to do. 

[princehansol-deactivated2014122]

[seulsweet-blog]

°until the sun comes up

[seulsweet-blog]

[ ... ]

it’s ok if i can’t, i just thought i would ask.. 

[nothansol]

you're important, though. and you're damaging yourself — [/ his voice is rough with sleep, but sincerity smoothens it out; risae was important. she was one of the few friends that he had at the institute — and the fact that nix always stirred himself from a simple shadow to a not-so-simple animation made it very apparent that she was important to him, too. he lets her remove his palm, but the grip on her fingers doesn't slacken in the slightest; he knows how she is, how cheap her sense of worth seems to her — and he knows that risae will try to pull away and leave if he doesn't answer as soon as she inquires. ]

it's fine. [/ hansol smiles, a lazy dip of his lips as he uses his free hand to rub at the sleep-ridden mane atop his head. the motion comes with a fresh sting seeping into the cords of muscle webbed beneath the skin of his chest, but his sight is still tinged with pink — painkillers and sedatives and slumber. in a way, it doesn't hurt — he can't let himself hurt in front of someone who shouldn't be burdened with it, who doesn't deserve it. nix buzzes within his chest at the acknowledgement she gives him, display of tiers turning into something heavier in nature —  a smirk. ] i've been sleeping all day — we're not supposed to sleep that much. [/ the pads of his fingers press into the skin of hers lightly, almost teasingly; he tugs her small frame a bit more inside and proceeds to shut the door with his heel. ] 

[/ he casts a glance at the wisps of ebony that expel from nix's mimicry of the human body, cyan tilting back to the older girl's face as his lips purse at her fidgeting. he frowns slightly at the loss of contact and the brunette's lack of confidence in herself — in him. a silent nod surfaces from his blank facial expression, hand absently rubbing at the bandage plastered to his wound by dwindling blood and sweat. ] of course you can, risae. you're always welcome. [/ it comes out as a soft murmur, a fact that he hopes he can instill in her without having to repeat it. ]

[conues-deactivated20161004]

[seulsweet-blog]

°until the sun comes up

(` the space underneath her bed in the two person dorm room is small, cramped, and littered with candy wrappers. despite this, risae stays there for two hours curled into herself, cheek against the cold floor. she’s something close to a nervous meltdown, and time moves all too slowly for her liking while she’s hidden away, the sound of absolutely nothing deafening around her. she needs to get out— she needs to breathe. making her escape plan, risae crawls out from her second favorite hiding spot and tip toes out of the dark room, not bothering to grab a jacket, or shoes, or even socks, which is stupid, really, but she’s kinda known for stupid things anyways ) 

(` it’s freezing out, and as always, risae is unprepared for life )

(` the distance to the boys dorm is more familiar than it should be, but she supposes that was inevitable what with her tendency to cling to her older brother like the lost child she is. it doesn’t take long for her to creep into the opposite dormitory and find her way up, up, up to the third floor. takes a solid two minutes of walking down the hallway before she finally comes to a halt, turning herself back around with a whine and stopping in front of the first door of the floor )

(` lifts her hand to knock on the door, body slumping against it with her smile still intact ) haaaansooooool, (` it’s midnight. she’s getting worse at controlling the volume of her whines ) niiiiiiiiix (` another knock on the door, this time with her forehead. it kinda hurts ) 

[nothansol]

[/ hansol isn't a relatively heavy sleeper, but with the injuries he's sustained and the lengthy recovery period following, it's anything but a challenge for him to pass out cold on his mattress. of course, he can't stay asleep, really — every few hours he'd wake to the nerves within his shoulder knotting, a bout of nausea and pain-induced tears relentlessly sucking his energy dry until the mutant eventually collapses in a heap among his blankets. his sense of time is utterly and completely lost; cyan remains open during the late hours of the night and light snores caress the walls of his dorm at noon. ]

[/ this time, he's managed to maintain a rather successful nap that would hopefully outlast the term nap — but it seems that the world doesn't want that for kim hansol. ]

hm ... ngg ... [/ he murmurs pathetically, a forearm wrapped mildly in bandages shifting to press against his face. ] ... 'mm tired ... [/ his mind is much too clouded with pain killers and muffled fatigue to recognize the voice straight away, but the high pitch that's coupled with the whine lets on that there's a girl outside his dorm. pale brows furrow along his complexion at that, but in seconds he's back to breathing heavily with sleep crawling through his veins. ]

[/ well, until nix hears risae's voice. what's even worse is that she called him by name. ]

[/ hansol wakes up sputtering for breath, doubling over at his shadow's unorthodox way of communicating; the feeling of a fist being driven up into his ribcage coaxes his palm to rest on the lean dip of his stomach, all the while grunting at nix because his shadow's crush on her has gotten way out of hand — ] 

[/ the puppeteer slips off his comforter rather ungracefully, staggering to the door while his right palm performed a small series of gestures to bring ebony anatomy to life; nix takes the shape of hansol himself, down to the tuffs of hair making their appearance known from the sides of his head and the crooked neckline of his shirt. the dopplegänger awaits patiently, off to the side as the eighteen-year-old pried his door open and pulled the shorter female in by her shoulders. the peached skin of her forehead indicates that she used her head rather than her knuckles — again. ] why do you do that? you're really gonna hurt yourself someday. [/ his palm meets her brow with a discreet squint, trying to rid the sleep from his system before she notices. ] 

[nothansol]

your theme choices are always so perfect and i am in awe. (◕‿◕✿) ... /rolls away

o h mg — really? ( ; A ; )

thank you !!!

[nothansol]

[ txt ] so hey i got a new phone =w= [ txt ] and i need to put you in as a contact [ txt ] what do you wanna be called? make it special c:< [ txt ] also, hey, it's my birthday wheeee i'm /so/ lucky to have a bday while school is on lockdown -n-

[ text ] wow ;; that was quick

[ text ] uhhhh …………..mmmm

[ text ] whatever you wanna call me uvu 

[ text ] han would be fine. i like han.

[ text ] K A T WHY DIDn’T YOU TELL ME HOLY HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!!! ARE NOT ENOUGH EXCLAMATION POINTS TO EXPRESS MY SURPRISE !!!

[ text ] we have to celebrate. i dont care i’ll steal a movie from one of my hyungs and we can watch it ok ;;

[mental-domain-deactivated201701]

[930615]

연하 | DO NOT EDIT.

[nothansol]

{` silent, she stands near the city edge with a hand propped on her hip — waiting for the inevitable rush of people running to escape a city on fire — her eyes land on a figure coming from somewhere in the middle, narrowing } — {` without a word, she forms a gun with her hand, index finger aimed as she gathers energy and takes easy aim for a place right above his heart — trigger, you're a cruel girl — before firing; waiting in the tense quiet for a scream because she certainly broke something }

[/ hansol can’t breath. at all. there’s too many bodies shoving against him, towering over his short frame—ultimately he’s thrown into the middle and he can’t escape the lack of oxygen no matter how hard he tries. he waits for the crowd to pass, leave him be in his miserable panic attack, but eventually he wedges himself out of the crowd and into the open . the blond sucks in jagged inhales greedily, sleeve meeting his mouth in an effort to hide the slight tremor of his bottom lip.

a peculiar click sound rings high above the symphony of chaos corrupting the streets, and he sees her too late. 

his upper body twists from the force of the bullet ( at least, that’s what he thinks it is— ), porcelain contorting in dolor as he literally feels his collarbone shatter from the impact. a scream tears through his throat, hand meeting his shoulder as a hiss seethed past his twisted lips. he feels it—blood, sickeningly sticky and disturbingly warm on alabaster—and it takes every ounce of strength to pick himself off the ground with one hand while the other applied pressure to his gunshot wound. crimson soaks thin fingers, incessantly pouring from his body as he steeled himself. a whimper pulses from chapped tiers, but he doesn’t stop moving; he can’t. there’s a newfound urge, no—a need, to survive.

so he starts running.

and he doesn’t stop. not when his vision tinges with black, or when his fingers feel numb—his feet are as constant as the blood streaming from his shredded skin. 

hansol doesn’t even notice the tears springing from his eyes as he runs, but they sting against his cheeks and it brings about a terrible realization: he isn’t dreaming. ]

[eyqu]

[fcxcopykat]

( / hansol’s request for him to cover himself only makes kat’s lips curl into an amused little smirk, his cutting irises, which are the color of cold, frosty-blue water, unabashedly tracing the features of the other blond’s face. analyzing him. he places his hands on his hips and strikes a confident pose, jutting out one skinny hipbone with a commendable amount of sass. a pealing stream of giggles leave his lips, grin still stretching from ear to ear ) why should i cover up? am i distracting, hansol? do you like what you see? ( / kat snorts softly, dropping the pose to drag his hands over his arms, rubbing desperately to create warming friction. he’s so pale, and an utter beanpole — all long, lanky limbs and snowy flesh. despite his brazenness, however, goosebumps decorate his alabaster skin; he was obviously cold ) s-so here’s my dilemma: my dorm key was in the pocket of my jeans. which are lost. which is why i need to borrow some of your stuff, hansol-ah! ( / kat smiles, and this time it is much less mischievously wolfish. it warms him a bit, making the boy look almost sweet and very young. but the unmistakable wildness, something free-spirited and untamed, still remains, sparkling in his blue eyes ) pfft, is there any other way i could have introduced myself that would’ve still left such a striking impression on you? you’ll never forget me now. ( / another laugh — but then his teeth begin to chatter ) holy shit, it sure is cold out today… h-how about those clothes, yeah? ( / kat’s eyes widen with the sudden realization of something; his grin returns, and before hansol can question him he rushes forward and grabs the other mutant’s hands, placing them onto his bare waist ) shh shh, i’m gonna cover myself up, i promise.. just don’t drop me, okay? ( / kat is a good bit taller than hansol; the smirk remains on his lips as he gazes down into hansol’s face, blue eyes meeting an equally unusual shade of cyan. how interesting. and then, just like that, two soft, furry ears suddenly spring forth from kat’s blond hair — followed by a burst of blinding light, and now a white cat is in hansol’s hands, blinking up at him with distinctive eyes. kat’s eyes. he purrs, tail flicking ) meow?

[nothansol]

[/ it's not easy for him to admit—and he won't—but he's a bit embarrassed. it's unknown whether his cheeks deepened in color due to second-hand embarrassment, or a bashful one. his upper lip disconnects from its lower counterpart at the other's boldness, and hansol suddenly feels very small in comparison to everything. ] n-no. i mean ... i don't know? [/ the blond isn't looking, so he can't answer much more efficiently that what he's already attempted. pallid fingers twitch at his sides, wishing to recede to the warmth of his hoodie but for some reason he doesn't. the mutant didn't want to rub in the fact that he had warm clothes and kat didn't—which prompted him yet again of the task at hand. ] that sucks. maybe after i get you some clothes, we can look for your dorm key? [/ the tips of his fingers pull at the fabric resting on his palms, tugging relentlessly until the other's smile stuns him into paralysis. hansol is never still for very long, but he's stationary for all but seven seconds—which is a personal record, by far. there's a deep tremble in his chest, a poltergeist within his ribcage by the name of nix; hansol wants him to stop snickering at him. but the vibration depicting his shadow's enjoyment only increases tenfold when kat rushes up to him and nonchalantly guides his warm hands to chilled hips. ] what the— [/ his voice slips underneath kat's, digits awkwardly gripping his waist as he peeked up at the taller of the pair beneath a shaggy fringe. he doesn't catch the ears because searing white induces momentary blindness—he feels himself falling backward but can only think of kat's request, so he curls his body over itself as he makes sloppy contact with the ground. there's something soft between his fingers, and the boy blinks repeatedly until spots no longer splotch his vision. ] ... kat? [/ it comes out a bit breathless, pale hands cupping the small creature and pressing it to his chest in order to feign some body heat. ] so that's your mutation, huh? [/ if he's to be honest—kim hansol is utterly jealous. nonetheless, a lazy smile works upon the younger's face at the discovery. ]

[nothansol]

✉

Send ✉ for an 2 AM text

// to: kat // 

[ text ] i washed some of my clothes earlier and just remembered so i had to sneak downstairs and get them

[ text ] ur lucky i washed them for u AND LIVED

[ text ] uh …. yknow …. incase you need to borrow more.

[aseaofquotes]

[nothansol]

— David Foster Wallace

[princehansol-deactivated2014122]

[140119] Hansol ;

[notminx]

( / kyungsoo’s head lilts even farther to one side, the inquisitive motion somehow vaguely similar to that of some small, furry creature; his large, shining eyes are enraptured by the unknown being in question, the natural rosy flush tinting his snowy skin increasing in pigment as his lips curve upwards into a grin. shields momentarily disarmed, kyungsoo takes a few hesitant steps toward the shadow trailing behind the blond boy, arms unwinding from around his torso to hang at his sides ) it’s a boy? o-oh… well, yes, i suppose it would have to be a boy, since it’s your shadow… ( / the smaller mutant’s fingers curl and uncurl against his thighs, palms itching to stretch out toward this fascinating creature ) really, hansol! y-your ability is amazing…. can i touch him?

[nothansol]

[/ he's chewing on his bottom lip in an effort to keep himself grounded, from bolting down the hall and out of sight because he doesn't want to scare kyungsoo off. he's nice, and he likes him—and he doesn't want their friendship to cut off at such short notice. ] uh ... y-yeah. he goes by nix. [/ he hates his stutter. and he hates that it decided to return now of all times. the blond almost steps back once the boy comes closer, but he doesn't want to hurt his feelings, so he steels his nerves and keeps his heels planted. ] my ability isn't all that. people don't take me seriously with it ... [/ hansol sends a discreet glance toward his shadow, and what he feels almost shocks him, because he isn't declining. usually nix hated males altogether—but there wasn't a hint of any hostility. brows crease at the creature as perplexity enters his system, cyan shortly returning to fawn irises in a form of confirmation. ] sure. [/ his lips go against his mind and he smiles, albeit still a little ... worried. ]

[notminx]

ah… yes, hopefully we’ll be in the same skill level one day… although i d-don’t want you to fail your advancement program, hansol-ah..! ( / kyungsoo peeks at the other mutant from the corner of his eyes, a genuine smile tugging at the tails of his lips. he folds his arms across his chest ) until then, we’ll have to just hang out… i-i should probably give you my number, then–oh! ( / the boy’s huge, glittering eyes widen even further at the sight of the shadowy creature bobbing about on the walls and floor; his shoes squeak as he screeches to a halt just before they enter the cafeteria. kyungsoo inquisitively cocks his head to the side ) is t-that your mutant ability…?

[nothansol]

[/ hansol shrugs at that. ] if i fail, i fail. besides ... i don't think i'd mind much. i mean, if you want more classes with me, i guess i'd be ok with it. [/ his heels dig into the floor to avoid bumping into the shorter of the pair, crown canting in a form of inquiry at the other's expression. ] what—[/ but his words are quickly forgotten as realization strikes. it's only then that he feels the tugging at his heels, revealing that nix was—indeed—animated. ] oh ... uh. [/ pallid fingers find his nape, raking filed nails against flushed skin in a form of embarrassment. ] y-yeah ... it's called shadow animation. i can animate my shadow ... i p-promise he won't hurt you, though! [/ everyone was always afraid of nix, and in turn that made them fearful of hansol. he hoped kyungsoo was different. ]