amnesia
cho seungyoun (woodz) x original female character fear, slight romance, tragedy / zombie apocalypse 2,390 words slight gore, major character death
a/n i've been wanting to write a seungyoun fic ever since oo-li came out ... the release of amnesia really kicked this off so i would recommend listening to amnesia on repeat when you read this ☝️
“I will hold your hand”. There is a pause, an uneasiness in the air. The sound of heavy breathing and trickling rain sets the tone. The neighborhood is too quiet for the chaos that had followed these two for the past hour. Sirens have ceased to ring through the air and the sun which had set hours ago left anyone who found themselves outside in this cold rainy night- vulnerable and in danger. “No matter where I am… Who I’m with. Even if ten of those motherfuckers were on your heel”. Their eye contact has not faltered.
“I will hold your hand”. He repeats, hurriedly scanning her face for any sort of reaction. “So please”. This is said softer now, and he glances at her hands which are balled up at her sides. “Give me your hand”.
Jo can not seem to calm down. Seungyoun’s hand is in front of her, the ringing in her ears, and the fact that they have been running for what seems like the past hour.
This started- or well- it found them at Seungyoun’s house. The new year was close by and it was sort of a tradition for both of them to bake cookies for the neighborhood. Ever since grade 8 they had done this and there was no use in stopping now that they were well into their late 20s. Sirens had been going off all morning with an unusual sense of panic in the air. Though with the heavy rain that had been falling for the past couple of days, they thought nothing of it.
A raindrop hit Jo on the highest part of her cheekbone. She recalled the moment they heard that scream. A blood curdling, long lasting scream. The oven was still on, cookies out all over the dining table, her favorite movie playing on the tv, and Seungyoun out the door. It didn’t take long for Jo to follow and she felt the rain on her skin first. Her sweat mixed with rain continued to run down her face- though the same is true with Seungyoun.
Jo can tell that she must seem fucked up by the way Seungyoun is looking at her. She doesn’t recognize this expression on his face. Is it concern? Exhaustion? Anxiety? Pain? Or a mixture of all of those at once? But his hand is still in front of her, and her eyes move down to look at his hand. She suddenly thinks that the rain is mesmerizing. She can hear the way it’s falling on the grass, sliding off the leaves of trees, windows, cars, and the feeling of it on her skin. Cold. She can see the rain washing away the blood that doesn’t stop pouring out of Seungyoun’s neighbor’s neck. She won’t stop bleeding and that person won’t stop tearing into her flesh. Ripping out muscles and skin and-
It’s cold.
Jo feels her shirt get heavier and wonders how Seungyoun is feeling about that. Doesn’t he just want to rip the wet, heavy shirt off of his skin?
Jo’s nails dig deeper into her palm. She can feel that. Coldness on her skin, pain in her palms, heartbeat in her breath. She can see Seungyoun as he’s grabbing her by the shoulders. He must be saying something important. But there’s only the rain and her heartbeat accompanied by a feeling Jo has never felt before. She almost smiles.
But there is nothing to smile about. Nothing to say to her, to Seungyoun, to that dead neighbor, or the man who was tearing her apart. You can say nothing that will make them smile.
Seungyoun’s eyes widened. Jo is certain she heard it. And it happens again.
A twig snaps.
Just like that her senses come rushing back to her. Seungyoun has stopped talking now and is hyper focused on something behind her. She knows this expression on his face. Something she saw for the first time only an hour before now. The same look she saw on his face as he tried tearing the dead man off of his neighbor. The same look he gave her as Jo held onto his arm with all her strength to get him away. The same look Seungyoun saw as Jo ran behind him through the night, towards anywhere besides home.
Fear.
Jo’s hands finally relaxed and she snapped her head in the direction Seungyoun was looking. They wished it was just a guy from the neighborhood, who was maybe just taking a late night stroll. But the limp in his step, and the blood pouring out of his cheek told a completely different story. He did not cry out in pain. Even if his bone was poking out of his knee. He certainly did not fall to the ground.
Three seconds passed, maybe four before the man- the dead man- made eye contact with both Jo and Seungyoun. They did not have the luxury to assess the situation. They only ran. This time it was Jo who grabbed Seungyoun’s hand and they traveled into the forest which surrounded the suburbs in their city. ______
“Later at a field at night, I thought I saw death”. Jo was turned away from Seungyoun and she was looking somewhere in the trees. The moonlight was faint and Jo couldn’t make out where or how far they were into the forest. “I heard that quote in a cartoon before and I think I now know what it means”.
Seungyoun nodded even though he knew Jo couldn’t see him. He didn’t even think Jo wanted a response.
“I mean it was pretty comedic in the show” Jo turned back to look at Seungyoun for a second, “but I kinda feel that way right now. Just sitting here and feeling like the end is just on the horizon. That I’m observing my fate”. Seungyoun took notice of the blood that had dried on Jo’s shirt. He thought the rain would’ve washed everything away but the blood seemed to remain. “Not in a threatening way, although ominous”.
“Are you cold?”. Seungyoun asked. He knew the answer of course. Their clothes were still damp and as the night grew, it just kept getting colder and colder.
Jo didn’t answer though, she just shifted around where she was sitting in the dirt then continued, “I’m sorry about how I was acting earlier and-” She turned to face Seungyoun completely. He was in the process of opening his mouth, “don’t say “it’s okay” or “you get it” because it was not okay. Not okay at all”. Jo couldn’t help but stare at the ground, “I know that’s probably one of the many reactions someone can have to seeing dozens of people die or like eat each other,” she could feel Seungyoun’s gaze. “But we’re responsible for ourselves and … I know we feel responsible for each other. That was just really dangerous and stupid of me to freeze up like that”. Jo looked up and stared directly into Seungyoun’s eyes, “I just want to say sorry. Although I can’t promise I won’t do it again”. They smiled slightly at each other.
The situation was kind of ridiculous. Jo knew that as well as Seungyoun. There isn’t a time in any of their ancestors or friends or cousins lives where they feared dead people cannibalizing them. At least up until now.
Seungyoun held out his hand for Jo to hold, “We good?”.
“Good” Jo nodded back and smacked his hand. ______
Two, maybe three hours passed and the cold was beginning to become a problem.
Besides Seungyoun, Jo seemed to be dozing off against the stump of a tree. He watched her for a while, taking note of the way her nose seemed to get bluer as the seconds passed by. Her fingers as well. Looking back at himself, he knew the same was happening. He began shivering more than normal which was a sign of bad things to come.
“Hey we need to take these wet clothes off immediately” Seungyoun spoke up, bumping into Jo’s shoulder lightly. “Maybe move around a little”.
Seungyoun stood up and proceeded to remove his shirt and then pants, slightly jumping while pacing around the tree Jo sat beside. “Seriously Jo”. Even without daylight, he could see his breath and feel the chill of the air all around him. He stopped moving to take a closer look at Jo who was still laying on the tree.
“Jo Houlihan”. Seungyoun was more concerned now and it was painfully obvious by the tone of his voice. He reached for her hand and in the process of pulling her up he stopped, “You’re fucking freezing”.
“Yeah …” Jo replied weakly, using her free hand to grip Seungyoun’s shoulder. Surprised, she continued, “Oh - you’re kind of warm”.
Jo’s comment made Seungyoun smile, “That’s the point silly”. He made sure Jo was standing up steady, “Now let’s get these clothes off of you and maybe run around a little”.
“If this was in any other situation, I would’ve laughed in your face if you said something like that to me”. Jo remarked. At this point Jo was in her underwear and was now peeling her socks off her feet. “Wow it really is cold though”.
“Yeah ..”.
They did warm-up exercises for about thirty minutes. Small chit chat, the sounds of the forest, and wet leaves crunching under their feet were probably the only things that could be heard for miles. That was until the scream stopped them in their tracks. It must’ve been a mile away but the echo was loud and didn’t stop. Maybe it was two different people, but that scream was familiar. It brought Seungyoun back to the porch of his neighbor’s house. Jo back to the gore and the horror. Seungyoun didn’t realize until the screaming stopped that he had Jo in his arms.
Jo exhaled, unaware that she was even holding her breath in the first place. She was shaking and Seungyoun was too, though she didn’t think it was because of the weather.
Still in his arms, she looked up at Seungyoun who was staring off into the distance. “We should sit down now”. It was framed as a suggestion even though they both knew that any form of noise could attract the dead people towards them.
Holding to each other still, they slowly made their way beside the tree that Jo originally laid on. Relying on each other’s body heat to keep themselves from freezing. They did not have the courage to speak up after hearing the scream in the forest. So they laid there on the cold wet forest floor, too petrified to sleep. Waiting for something. Waiting for someone- or a sound, or the end.
It was the first chirp that knocked Seungyoun out of this trance. It wasn’t exactly dawn, but he knew it must be just before sunrise. Jo was awakened as well. She shifted a little bit within Seungyoun’s embrace and just as the leaves crunched right beside her- they heard the noise. That dreaded noise.
About 30 feet away from where they lay, in the darkness of the trees a low groaning emerged. Seungyoun could almost feel Jo’s blood go cold.
There was no use staying still. No use waiting for it to be in their line of sight. They heard the screams, they’ve seen the outcome.
Panicked, Jo jumped up grasping onto whatever part of Seungyoun she could manage to get a hold onto, pulling him up as well. “Seungyoun”. Her voice was laced with desperation, shakey and afraid.
Seungyoun looked down at her, his hands shaking and his body full of anxiety. Out of options, he says, “We have to run”. ______
Now they have run farther than they have before, not out of the forest but to the end of the world. What they are faced with is a beautiful sunrise illuminating the mountains and hills that border the valley of the cliff they stand on. The small towns that reside in the valley seem to be burning, smoke but also screams of terror echo and can even be heard where they stand. Out of breath and out of options they look out at the scene of the end of the world. Hand and in hand they feel the warmth of the sunrise. The warmth hits their cheeks first and then spreads all the way to their toes.
The groaning and snapping of leaves and sticks could be heard not far from where they are. They were chased for so long and still unable to lose the beasts that stalked them. Jo is certain that the dead people are close by. Maybe two to three minutes away. Jo isn’t scared, Seungyoun isn’t either. The view is too beautiful for that.
“If I close my eyes” Seungyoun starts. He looks to Jo, taking in her beauty but also the signs of exhaustion, the blood, and cuts. “Is everything gone?”.
Similarly, Jo looks back at Seungyoun and gives him a mischievous smile, her eyebrow raising in the process, “Should we get a running start?”.
Seungyoun sighs and smiles. He closes his eyes for a second and a tear rolls down his cheek. The dead people are getting closer. Fear rushes through Jo’s veins as she continues to look at Seungyoun. Her smile has faltered and tears well up in her eyes.
When he opens his eyes, it seems that both of them are at their breaking point. They continue to look at each other for a moment. Saying things that cannot be expressed through words. When that moment passes and they are brought back into reality, Seungyoun starts to step back a little bit. Jo does the same.
They breathe in.
And then out.
They then run full speed towards the sun. Into the light and the warmth of the beginning and the end of the world. Into the fire that burns the valley and the cool water that brings life to the plants all around them. Their hands never once separate and they are reborn into birds who are free to roam the earth without fear of the dead people who now terrorize the public. But they have not forgotten who they are. They can’t turn their heads and pretend that they know nothing. They can only wish for one thing.
Amnesia.
