A sign read "great new crafts!", so I walked in thinking I was headed for some Martha Stewart dream haven where I'd make a papier-mâché vase...
I found myself in a bar-with some of the worst characters the city had ever placed in one whole in the wall with bad lighting.
An unusual sort, a bearded fellow with white speckled eyebrows and a heavy frock, approached me.
"No," I stated, "but give my regards to the rest of Bethlehem." I dodged a fist so heavy it made a thud on the bar.
The Bartender gave us an eye and then handed me a pint gesturing to a portly woman, smiling deviously. I looked back at the bartender with mild fear. He spouted like he would a Shakespearean sonnet:
"This gift is from Mona, oh golly oh shucks. I hope that you like it. It cost 40 bucks."
He nearly sang it, as I sipped the gasoline down like a saint. A drink that expensive should always be 'sipped'.
I smiled at the girl, who I now noticed had a five o' clock shadow darker than my father's, and shifted in my seat.
I intended to make pottery, and there I was dealing with expensive brandy and Attila The Hun.
The Bartender and I exchanged words and I found him humorous. Compared to the other company I was presently apart of, he was a thrill and I sat there, overly laughing at every second hand joke he used. Years later, I went back and he had nothing much to say. He was broke, you see, and couldn't afford writers then.
But at that time, under the leaky roof, he was a riot.
My pal, Sam, a local saxophonist walked in with loose pants and a slick hat. He swatted my back and placed cash on the bar. A naughty tune played loudly behind us and we burst into song
We both sang the same way. Not in the same key, or even in the same tone, but we both opened our mouths when we sang. We were simpatico. He was my best friend, which outta tell you about the difficulty I had making friends.
We sang our livers out and drank til our hearts burned. I'd never forget that night, though believe me, I've tried. We left with Mona looking wistfully out the window.
It was a funny sort of evening, and I never did make that vase.
