Obliviate.

20. Canada.

[notoriouslywitty]

youtuber: WHAT is up everybody, itcha boy back again

me: youre no boy of mine

[vladtheunfollower]

[sagihairius]

[tatertodd-perished-deactivated2]

this woman is my fucking queen 

[thebestoftumbling]

[untexting]

[gaymeofthrones-blog]

me: mom im hungry

mom: eat a fruit

me:

[toshio]

[weloveshortvideos]

[notoriouslywitty]

women's shampoos be like: coconut; honey/milk; rose; tropical fruits; aloe vera

men's shampoos be like: ARCTIC ICE; DARKNESS; GUNS; TESTOSTERONE; PAIN

[sw-or-gtfo-deactivated20211219]

my bf has many interesting stories and observations from his new job as a 911 operator

my favorite is how meandering people are, even in the midst of a terrible emergency

they respond to “what is the emergency” with “well, the thing is, four weeks ago–”

and then he’s like “WHAT IS THE EMERGENCY RIGHT NOW”

and they’re like “so what happened this morning was, i said to my wife, i said–”

“WHAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING AT THIS MOMENT”

“oh i’m having a heart attack”

my second favorite is how specific he has to get sometimes

like, “what is your emergency?”

“i’m sitting in a pool of blood.”

“… is it… your blood?”

“yes i think so”

“do you know where it’s coming from?”

“probably the stab wound”

“have you been stabbed?”

“oh yah definitely”

[lizawithazed]

In all fairness shock is a hell of a drug

[porterr-robinson]

[stevesfriend]

you done it

[chrisweedpiano]

congration

[charmstat]

how’s everybody doing

[quintesence-deactivated20180801]

[teenscoolest]

[foreveralone-lyguy]

[gifbro]

[tastefullyoffensive]

100 to 0

[amatasera]

IMMA FUCKING KILL YOU

oh wait this is actually pretty good thank you

[charuchii]

he attac but then he snac