The year is 2027. The New York Sirens have just won the Walter Cup. Kayle Osborne carries the trophy down the aisle at the Bourbonnais/Clark wedding. (She is also the event planner). Brianne Jenner carefully retrieves the wedding bands from inside the Walter Cup itself. Jessie Eldridge wears a pink scrunchie in her bridesmaid updo. Jincy Roese sings an acoustic version of her hit single “She Shoots She Scores” as Bourbs walks down the aisle. Carla McLeod officiates. The newly married couple has their first dance to “Just Got Started” from Universal Music Production’s Stomp Clap Rap II. Abby Roque makes a joke about the Clarky Skate Curse in her wedding toast. Greg Fargo is not wearing a purple tie. Rob Pizzo leads a conga line. There is peace on earth.
The satirical Vesey Awards kind of shoehorned PWHL players into their categories, so I was inspired to create a completely PWHL-focused satire awards. Knock yourselves out and please do not submit more than one survey! Not exclusive to tumblr users, I just happen to be based on tumblr myself. Feel free to share the survey link amongst your PWHL friend groups.
https://forms.gle/xNaszWZXXBQoduN99
THIS SURVEY IS ONLY FOR THE 2025-26 REGULAR SEASON AND POST-SEASON (PLAYOFFS AND FINALS).
Voting closes on June 10, 2026 at 11:59pm EDT. Results will be announced shortly thereafter here on my blog.
Categories and respective nominees below the cut! Most categories also have write-ins.
Most Deserving City That Didn’t Get An Expansion Team
Exactly what it says. If only these cities had gotten an expansion team!
Calgary, Alberta
Denver, Colorado
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Quebec City, Quebec
Chicago, Illinois
Edmonton, Alberta
The Dearly Departed Award
Award for the most missed player that was traded this season or lost in the 2025 expansion draft.
Abby Roque (NY to MTL)
Sophie Jaques (MIN to VAN)
Zoe Boyd (OTT to BOS)
Denisa Křížová (MIN to NY)
The Royale Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play Power Through Tough Messes (existing to not existing)
Sarah Nurse (TOR to VAN)
Jessie Eldridge (NY to SEA to BOS)
The Jared Award for Excellence in Refereeing
For the official that made the most infuriating calls of the season.
Jared
Sydney
Jake
Central Situation Room
The "WTF" Coaching and Management Award
Award for the most interesting coaching and management decisions in the league.
Brian Idalski and the Vancouver Goldeneyes
Steve O'Rourke and the Seattle Torrent
Ken Klee and the Minnesota Frost
Troy Ryan and the Toronto Sceptres
Goalie Who Most Deserves A Gun
Which goaltender was forced to endure the most suffering because their team couldn't get it together this season?
Kayle Osborne
Gwyneth Philips
Corinne Schroeder
Aerin Frankel
Raygan Kirk
Emerance Maschmeyer
God's Most Suffering Player
For the player that endured the most suffering this season on this godforsaken bitch of an earth.
Laura Stacey
Gwyneth Philips
Hilary Knight
Alex Carpenter
Ad Break of the Year
Sorry to the Canadians who can't watch the streams on Youtube.
DVD Corner Bounce
Gay Time Check
Catch Me Catch Me
Jincy Roese Debut Single
The "Which Could Mean Nothing" Partnership Award
Awarded to the best duos and groups of friends in the league. Which could mean nothing.
Kenzie Lalonde and Cheryl Pounder
Laura Stacey, Marie-Philip Poulin, and Abby Roque
Emma Buckles and Catherine Dubois
The Entire Seattle Torrent
The Kristýna Kaltounková Most Overly-Penalized Player Award
Named in honor of Kristýna Kaltounková having the most ever penalty minutes for a rookie in her first PWHL season (45 PIM).
Rory Guilday
Kristýna Kaltounková
Abby Roque
Emma Maltais
Laura Stacey
Taylor Girard
The "Stop That, You Can Text Her After The Game" Award for Most Egregious Checking
For physicality that makes you go, "Why are you doing that???"
Jocelyne Larocque and Renata Fast WWE Super Slam
Brooke Bryant falling on top of Abbey Levy
Micah Zandee-Hart and Laura Stacey Skate Lace Entanglement
Jill Saulnier pushing down Ann-Renée Desbiens
The Prudential Center Clown Fan Clown Hockey Moment of the Year
For the most ridiculous moments on the ice, named in honor of the New York Sirens fan that dresses up like a clown, tumblr user @newyorksirens.
Danielle Serdachny sliding into an empty net, scoring a goal
Gwyneth Philips Beyblade
Emily Clark losing her skate blade and being pushed to the bench
Abby Roque scoring with her face
TD Place Arena Ice Hole
Ann-Renée Desbiens Ladder Assist
Lesbians' Choice Award
Who do the lesbians (and other queer PWHL fans) love the most?
Hilary Knight
Zoe Boyd
Laura Stacey
Carly "CJ" Jackson
Abby Roque
Kristýna Kaltounková
Fight of the Year
Kristýna Kaltounková vs. the entire Ottawa Charge
Abby Roque vs. Britta Curl playoff scrum
Montreal Victoire vs. New York Sirens line brawl (feat. Kayle Osborne)
Megan Keller vs. Laura Stacey
Boston Fleet vs. Toronto Sceptres line brawl (feat. Frankel & Tapani hug)
Jill Saulnier vs. Tereza Vanišová rematch
Quote of the Year
"I think I peed a little." - Marie-Philip Poulin
"How can you not be romantic about hockey?" - Eric Gallanty
i’m so happy that the beaches (band) are getting more recognition but the jumpscare i experienced by hearing “edge of the earth” in the str**ght hockey show was overshadowed only by my reaction to seeing clips of the str**ght hockey show when i play the song on spotify. like wHAT DO YOU MEANNN “she’s a fire sign and i don’t really know what that means” is now supposed to make me think of a jock man who unironically uses the term “puck bunny” ……. much to ponder but i don’t like it lmao
can someone please tell me what the american equivalent of a molson is in terms of vibes?? like are they getting trashed on buds, or more of a natty lite type situation
