Danny kicks open the door: Bruce! Explain yourself! Bruce: Hello, Daniel. How are you? How are things in accounting? Danny: Don't try to use socialized manners to distract me! I want an explanation for these accounts! *slams folders on Bruce's desk* Bruce: Hmm? These are personal accounts. Danny: I'm aware! What I want to know is why you have so much money being transferred to "Barry's food budget", "Clark's furniture replacement fund," and "Diana's art purchases grant!" Bruce: I believe the names of the accounts are self-explanatory. Danny: Who are these people!? Why are you funding thier lives?! You have four other accounts with similar titles!.... Bruce, do you have a secret family? Illegitimate children? Bruce: Yes, because I adopted a dozen children as a single father, but refused to actually provide for my own. That makes perfect sense. Wow, you caught me. Danny: Ugh, I hate when you use sarcasm. The whole world thinks you're an airhead with no thoughts, but I know the truth. You're a sarcastic, emotionally broken mess that somehow is the most clever mastermind alive! Bruce: Thank you Danny: Uggghhhhh! If we weren't best friends, I would have quit by now! I made enough money to retire early! Bruce: But you won't~🎶 Danny: Aghhhhh! I won't! If I do, I know you'll mess up all the financial systems I set up and run this company into the ground! Bruce: You're the reason we aren't sinking. Danny: Damn right I am! *Agressively sits down and crosses his arms and ankles* Alright, if they aren't your children, then who are these people? Bruce with the straightest face ever: They're my sugar babies. Danny: .....What? Bruce pulls out pictures of the Justice League's civilian IDs: Look at them. Danny: Wow Bruce: Yeah Danny: Okay, I guess it makes sense why you would want to fund them. But Bruce, you can't just- Bruce: Do you want to be one of my sugar babies? Danny: I would rather be ripped monicule by monicule than be your sugar baby. Bruce: What if I made you my Splenda nephew? Danny: What does that entail? Bruce: I give you money, but you don't give me any sugar. You just spend time with me. Danny: No kissing, no sex, no romance? Just friends spending time together? Bruce: Exactly. Danny: *Narrows eyes* Bruce Wayne, are you bribing me to turn a blind eye to you toeing the line of embazelement? Bruce: Yes Danny: Great! Cause I am totally willing to turn a blind eye to your sugar babies! How much are you willing to give Uncle Bruce? Bruce: This is why we're best friends.
