A Lost INTP...

Yet another INTP wandering the world... (with some companions)...

[nt-matter]

Lost INTP Thoughts #3

I wonder how other people see the world.

I'm taking a module in university about literature but it is open to other disciplines so there's a bunch of people from engineering or science majors. I'm not saying they are all the same, but perhaps it is their training that makes them more inclined to take whatever they see as how things are. They seem to assume that just because things ARE a certain way means they SHOULD be a certain way.

My professor for the module would say something like "so as you can see, perhaps we cannot simply view deviance from the norm as madness or evil" or "the way we use language frames things in different ways and shapes the way we view the world" and my classmates would be "Wow I never thought of it that way". Meanwhile I feel like I've seen the world in this way for a long long time. Observations like this seem kind of trite or obvious.

I don't think I'm smarter or anything. But I do want to know what people see? I'm sensitive towards these things but that must mean I'm not seeing a lot of other things. What am I not seeing?

[elsinore-snores]

some really beautiful african architecture because honestly this site is so western-centric

mako

unknown

cameroon

burkina faso

mali

Ndebele

burkina faso

please add more if you can!

[datimeizmeow]

Morocco

Tunisia

Ethiopia

Ethiopia

Dogon

Senegal

[obsidianguise]

The architecture from Burkina Faso and Cameroon was the inspiration for some of the buildings in Wakanda which is amazing

[soundtrack0fmylife]

Brazzaville, Congo

Bamako, Mali

Hausa house, Nigeria

Lomé, Togo

Yaouné, Cameroun

Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire

Accra, Ghana

Northern Ghana

- Now zoom in and take at look at the architecture in Wakanda….

[bellybuttonblue-deactivated2021]

[sentientcitizen]

Here’s the opposite story, though. With apologies because I don’t have the book in front of me, so I may get some details wrong, but I read this “Irena’s Children“ by Tilar J. Mazzeo.

Irena lived in Warsaw during the Nazi occupation, and dedicated her life to rescuing Jewish children from the Ghetto, and her story is complicated in a lot of ways but - well, this story isn’t actually about Irena, per se.

It’s about a bus driver.

It’s about a day when she’s traveling across town by bus with a very young Jewish child, and partway to their destination the child looks up and asks a question - in Yiddish. and the whole bus goes quiet, because everyone knows what that means. And Irena thinks, okay, we’re going to die here today.

And she’s running through her options - all of them bad - and suddenly the bus stops, and the bus driver announces that there’s been a mechanical failure and the bus needs to return to the depot immediately. Everyone off, please.

And she stands and goes to get off the bus and the driver says - not you two. Sit down. So she sits down as everyone else leaves, because, well, what else is she going to do? the options are all still bad, at this point.

and when the bus is empty the bus driver says,

“Where do you need to go?”

And then he drives them as close to their destination as he can, and lets them off, and drives away. And Irena lives, and the kid lives, and they never cross paths again.

So a janitor got three people killed, and a bus driver saved two lives - not to mention all the other lives indirectly saved because Irena was able to continue her work.

I think about that almost every day now, to be honest.

We can’t all be Irena. I couldn’t be Irena. She was in a unique place with very specific skills and connections that let her do what she did. I am just one mentally ill librarian. I can’t be her. But - I can be the bus driver. Or I could be the janitor. Because it doesn’t matter what your job is. It doesn’t matter who you are. In a world like this, every single one of us has the opportunity to do massive harm or massive good. We can save lives or end them.

And that’s scary. but it’s also very comforting? at least for me. Because at the end of the day it means this: no matter of how small and helpless and unimportant you feel, you’re never powerless in the face of great evil.

You can choose to be the bus driver.

[allisondraste]

Just Ace Things

Asexuality gets so little representation in media, and much of what is depicted shows ace folks who are repulsed/averse to sex, those who don’t want to have it.  While those folks certainly make up a segment of the ace spectrum, for that to be the only way ace people are depicted falls flat of demonstrating the complexity and heterogeneity of the community.  Asexuality is defined as experiencing sexual attraction never, very rarely, or only under certain conditions, and the way it is expressed is different in every person.  Because it was on my mind, I thought I might make a working list of thing that ace people can think, do, and be that would add to a more dynamic and three-dimensional representation.   Other Ace Folks, please feel free to add on!

Having a dirty mind/sense of humor and being the first person to take a conversation to the gutter

Scientific curiosity about sex and sexuality (i.e. watching p*rn for research, listening to allo people describe their experiences, reading erotica, etc.)

Getting physically aroused, but not wanting to have sex, and being annoyed and grumpy because of it.

Being in a relationship with an allo person and having sex with them as an act of service and expression of love

Enjoying sex as an activity, you know… like playing tennis or watching a movie

Referring to having sex as “playing tennis”

Forgetting that sex is a thing for months at a time

Being the CHILLEST partner if someone’s nervous about their performance. (”No srsly, I don’t care. This was for you anyway.”)

(For the graces out there) The “HolY ShIT” when you actually experience sexual attraction.

Being romantically or aesthetically attracted to someone and going “wait… is this sexual attraction? No…wait! No. Still no.” 

When the emotional connection kicks in and you’re demi

Having a higher “body count” than allo friends because you were just making sure

Being the wisest about relationships/having the most realtionship experience in a friend group

Being popular/friendly/outgoing

Wearing revealing clothing

Having a lot of self-confidence

Having healthy, fulfilling satisfying romantic relationships

Being happily, healthily single

Recognizing you love someone because “playing tennis” doesn’t sound so bad with them

Being oblivious to a partner’s attempts at seduction (”oh so THAT’S why you were kissing my neck??”)

Needing to prepare for physical intimacy days in advance

Wanting to have biological children

Not wanting to have biological children

Being polyamorous/in a polyamorous relationship

Belonging to another LGBTQ+ identity

Compromising on sex

Not compromising on sex

Having understanding allo partners

[mulletlove-deactivated20200811]

the idea that humans are a garbage species is so obnoxious no one talks about the peaceful parts of history and prehistory because they aren’t as exciting as us killing each other but um homo sapiens have been doing awesome things all over for a long time….we survived the fucking ice age…we made it through the sinai desert….we shared the savana with big cats before we ever made a weapon, we wove baskets from literal plants and halved blades from flint to handles we made, carved harpoons from bone and fought megafauna for our loved ones, cooked food and took care of the elderly and buried our dead, painted pictures and shared stories, built homes from clay and mud and straw, made instruments so we could dance and sing…it is so easy to focus on the negative and i get it ok we are in the middle of a mass extinction event that specific humans are at fault for but listen: they don’t want you to remember it hasn’t always been like this…we were and are so much more than evil

[intpandistp]

The concept of loving humanity is complicated and difficult for me.

I love people, like individuals. Ultimately, caring about and helping the people I love is what drives me (Fe least). But humanity as a whole, as a concept? It continually reinforces my inclination to resent humanity. It seems there is a certain critical mass of interconnected population beyond which people cease to behave decently and lovingly.

See, my desire is to be left the f*ck alone, and let other people live their lives as they please, and invest in those close to me. But whenever a group of people reaches a certain size, they inevitably decide that everyone must be forced to adhere to certain standards, and live in certain ways. Which I am 100% not okay with, as a person who values individual freedom above almost anything else.

I’m also tired of the western philosophy of destroying the environment, creating concrete, desolate prisons of cities to live in. I’d love to see strides in living in harmony with the natural world, less terraforming farming practices and so on.

In short, I’d love to have hope for humanity. And I’m trying. I believe people have the capacity to be decent and to do better and to love each other, and that’s exactly why I am so infuriated that we cling to the social structures that keep us in this vicious misery.

I’m trying to do my part. To be a good person, to make my tiny piece of land a restoration area, to grow my own food, to love people, to not exert my will over others - but I don’t think it’s my place or calling to lead large-scale revolution. I am responsible for myself and my little corner of existence.

-ISTP Bub being uncharacteristically vocal

[bubsjostrom]

I think this is still the best exposition on the complicated feelings I have towards humanity.

[nt-matter]

Aye, close enough for me too... I want to do some things for the world though if possible...

[pascalcampion]

Scared

another round of mid night thoughts.

Sigh.

Sorry!

#pascalcampion

[yetanother-ti-ne]

The internet is this weird mystical thing. Its kind of sad that youre in communities of people who like what you like, often more than the people you know 'irl', also crazy we're the first generations of something changing the way we communicate. Its sad that its generally taboo to create personal connections, partially because of anonymity and safety, partially because distances and the way we live our lives- it makes it difficult and untealistic to maintain those connections. It just feels like there's an invisible barrier preventing meaningful connections in online communities from being anything more than a brief moment where there's a shared connection that we wish existed in day to day life, that can't.

[nyctoheart]

My intention isn’t to BOSS people around. But people who don’t create on tumblr really have to understand that if creators stop posting here, you won’t have anything else to like but maybe memes. If you want content to circle around to your dashboard... you have to pay it forward and reblog. That is why this website is dying. The Ban is not the only reason.

[nyctoheart]

And its like.... people dont even fucking realize how special tumblr is

Tumblr doesn’t have verified checkmarks. Tumblr doesn’t have an algorithm to you show ❝The Best Stuff❞. Tumblr doesn’t display how many followers you have. Tumblr isn’t obsessed with subscriptions. 

Tumblr is an even playing field compared to websites like Twitter, Instagram, and Youtube. Which means its up to us, the users, to spread the word of people we enjoy-- the way the internet should be.

I’m not asking you to reblog shit you don’t like. I’m not asking you to reblog everything out of pity. But when you see a post you genuinely like, reblog it.

[tywvin-archive]

I think so many people mistake the ‘you should reblog’ message with ‘I’m greedy and all I want is notes’ when it’s really not at all like that.

When creators say they’re discouraged from creating because their posts get no notes, they don’t mean they will refuse to create unless their last edit reaches at least 1k notes. What they mean is that the effort they’re putting into creating something purely out of inspiration and the need to share their passion and creativity with the world is being consumed and forgotten, just like it is on Instagram. Tumblr has changed from having an even reblog-like ratio, or even twice as many reblogs as likes, to being another social media where users consume content instead of sharing it.

We’re not trying to force you to reblog everything or want you to fill your blog with things you don’t like. But Tumblr is built on reblogs and likes. This is not a fast-food company where you can order something, consume it, and then throw it away. The very base of this website is sharing, as opposed to Instagram. Here, likes don’t give our posts exposure, reblogs do.

Notes are not the problem, the fact that you want new content without supporting creators is. So yeah, don’t be surprised if creators stop creating because nobody wants to share their creations.

[nt-matter]

I'm new to Tumblr, but I do really like this aspect of it. This makes a lot of sense. Yay to reblogs it is then!

[funkymbtifiction]

Your Enneagram Journey

The reason I advocate journaling to help you figure out your Enneagram, either the core (which is most important) or the fixes, is that it forces you to analyze and consider your reactions immediately after they happen, which can open you up to self-honesty and pattern-seeking, rather than giving you time to re-frame or “forget” your actual reaction to something.

A step beyond that is “self-awareness” in terms of seeing the habits of your type ‘playing out in real time.’ It’s that moment of SEEING what you are doing and how it aligns with an Enneagram type WHILE IT’S HAPPENING, and having it all fall into place – both the thrill of knowing yourself for the first time, and the “ick” of recognizing the defense mechanism you are using as a buffer against the outer world. The real shock comes from seeing yourself doing the things you ‘did not relate to’ about your core type and/or dismissed as “not me.” I had always turned up my nose at the idea of projection (displacing and disowning my own thoughts/feelings about something and assigning them to someone else), and then I caught myself doing it one afternoon. =P

That’s the kind of self-awareness you should be seeking – until you are able to see that much of yourself when you are being yourself, I do not recommend attempting to find your tritype / fixes. Why? Because once you are capable of seeing what you’re doing, when you are doing it, and recognizing it and owning it in the moment, THEN you possess the objectivity to start looking at other areas of your life, how you react, and being able to recognize the protective defense mechanisms there – as you are performing them.

It’s kind of scary how it “happens” rather quickly once you are able to admit to and observe your own core, fundamental lies. That opens you up to a brutal sense of honesty about yourself and allows you to start seeing your first fix in action on the occasions it rises to the surface. Humans have a lot of ‘ego’ barriers against seeing their true self, and you need to dismantle those first, to see the evidence and come to self-awareness and acceptance. Generally, looking at the tritype descriptions and vague interplay doesn’t help as much as going, “Oh, crap… that was a ___ tactic I just used, wasn’t it?!”

The goal here is self-awareness. And to find that, you have to look inward.

[nt-matter]

That's true... Still, it doesn't help that I take quite a while to even process the event.

[nt-matter]

Lost INTP Thoughts #2

When I stare into the mirror I just sort of look emotionless a lot. I can raise both eyebrows and look skeptical or roll my eyes but somehow those are the only expressions that look natural on my face. Somehow smiles and grins and all that just sort of look off... It's as if I can't just look friendly or something... Or maybe its because of the mirror.

[nt-matter]

3 INTPs playing Cards Against Humanity

X-INTP: Lost INTP, I don't get your sense of humour. How is that not funny?

Lost INTP: (trying to explain) uhh... but it was... I just liked the other option more. It was so off topic it was absurd.

X-INTP: Exactly! It was off topic. There wasn't any link. Completely irrelevant! How was that funny?

E-INTP: I think that's the point here. Next round?

X-INTP: (sighing) I understand why I'm losing so badly now.

[nt-matter]

Toads Vs Toadstools

Lost INTP: Toadstools really are like toads! Both have lumps on them!

ISTP: No, they aren't. They aren't lumpy the same way. Toadstools are crumbly. Toads are moist and wet.

Lost INTP: But they have the same feel to them. Both are poisonous and associated with witchcraft.

ISTP: That's not what feel means. Toadstools are inanimate. They don't move. Toads hop around. Also, the lumps on toadstools remind me of pomelo seeds.

Lost INTP: oooh...pomelo seeds...hmm...

(Searches on Google for images)

Lost INTP: Well... I guess they do look like pomelo seeds...but... "Toad"-stools!

[nt-matter]

Lost INTP thoughts #1

I wished I picked up hacking. Sometimes I see some stupid stuff on the web, and I wished I could just hack the webpage and make a joke out of it. But no skill. And also, possible penalties.

[nt-matter]

"Why does work exist?"

- The Lost INTP at 6.30 am struggling through an essay

(The Lost INTP wants to research that question but that would just be procrastinating further. And the work has to be done regardless.)

[nt-matter]

"Why does one need to work in a world where there is actually probably enough food and resource for all? ...Also why do we keep insisting on population growth..."

(It is now 9am and the Lost INTP has been working through the night. Because work.)

[nt-matter]

"Why does work exist?"

- The Lost INTP at 6.30 am struggling through an essay

(The Lost INTP wants to research that question but that would just be procrastinating further. And the work has to be done regardless.)

[nt-matter]

The Lost INTP and L-INTP talking from 12am to 4am

Topics covered:

- School Fees

- Nature of Friendships

- Luck

- MBTI

- Random games we've been playing

- Why Macbooks are great for design

- Future career

- Structure of Consciousness

- Random experiences in between

- How we can barely remember what we were talking about

[nt-matter]

Often, I wish for Ni or Te or Fe or Si or Se or just some other function to be my dom or aux that will let me concentrate and finish my work. It really is tiring trying to think about how to plan my essay while half of my mind is thinking about whether honey wasps jelly is a thing. Or about whether the series of books I've been following has a new book out yet. Or about why the world is a sad place to be sometimes. Or about whether turkeys can camouflage. Or just literally anything else...except work.

...and probably somewhere in the world, some people are wishing they had Ne higher on their stack or something... I guess that's just how it is.

- The Lost INTP