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An emissary of Nefertem reminds you that at every sunrise, the world is created anew. A new beginning awaits you. – Nefertem is an Ancient Egyptian god associated with perfume and flowers (especially the blue lotus), healing, and the newborn sun. Though He was most frequently depicted as a human with a lotus over His head, He could also be shown as a lion as the son of Sekhmet or Bast. Lotus flowers rise up from the muddy waters to bloom at sunrise, just as the sun rises from the dark every morning to illuminate the world once again. In some creation stories, Nefertem is the child-god born from the first lotus emerging from the primeval waters.

plantwitchmother

kaijuno

welele

butch-king-frankenstein

the Playskool Goblin Containment Block, only $59.99

colemckenzies

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

ggiornojo

as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk

example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night

colemckenzies

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

animatedamerican

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

nentuaby

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

animatedamerican

… huh. I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.

I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.

thepioden

Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.

“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”

derinthescarletpescatarian

Something is

Something is wrong with our language

rooksandravens

Is it a glitch or a feature?

cranberrybogmummy

Feature

s-peak-in-tongue-s

this neat feature is called collocative substitution, and it occurs when certain words are strongly linked to certain context and/or phrases. when you read/hear a pair of words that usually wouldn’t go together, your brain fills in the context with what would normally be inferred, given the originally phrased pairing. thus, finding out that there’s a term for this phenomenon may indeed leave you utterly sandwiched. lesser known or less strongly linked phrases and pairings may not be able to translate substituted words to appropriately fit the inferred context, so you were not utterly floorboarded at the club last night, but rather you were absolutely floorboarded, and as this explanation continues to drag on, you may by the end of it find yourself completely coathangered from read it all.

lizawithazed

I, like all linguists I have met or even heard of, have a deep intricate love-hate relationship with the English Language because of complete and total coathangering like this

cappucino-commie

Next hot Tumblr feature: You randomly get shown the drafts of people you follow, sparking massive waves of discourse about the hot takes never posted.

closet-keys

delete this before staff sees it

totallyfubar

I love saying “of course” instead of “you’re welcome,” like of course I’m helping you that’s what I do, you were foolish to even consider an alternate dimension in which I’m not helping you. you idiot. you absolute buffoon.

rabbitinthemeadow

The ghosts that wander these old back-trails // Part 5

hellyeahanarchistposters

archae-heart-deactivated2021012

late autumn in New England

unclefather

kittydesade

Spooky Shopkeeper: The price may be more than you expect to pay.

Me: Yes, I know how US taxes work, too.

del3141

Shopkeeper, increasingly exasperated: I’m trying to tell you that I’m evil and offering these wares with no regard for the harm they will do!

Me, also increasingly exasperated: I know what capitalism is too goddammit

izzetheking

What the Heck is a mushroom?Well let me tell you… its like a plant… but stop right there…Its not a plant… its nota planet and not an animal.. Its something else… Something fucked up that we havnt ever seen before… You can eat it on a steak but its not an animal or a plant… So what is a mushrom? Its a fungits