For those unaware, here's my new account
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Andulka
trying on a metaphor
Monterey Bay Aquarium

Janaina Medeiros
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Cosmic Funnies
Show & Tell
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@theartofmadeline

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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

Discoholic 🪩

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
noise dept.
Not today Justin
DEAR READER
wallacepolsom

#extradirty
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@nw96-archived
For those unaware, here's my new account
pulling the trigger now
see you at unbreakable bond month
"Wow, people seem to really like our new racing game! What should we do to capitalize on this?"
"DUH, I KNOW! LET'S TAKE AWAY THE MOST POPULAR MODE IN THE GAME OVER AN ENTIRE WEEKEND FOR A BUNCH OF TEAM MODES!"
"Brilliant! Have another 600 billion yen!"
...no, seriously, this is going to kill the entire online playerbase by the end of November at the latest. And judging by the roadmap they put out, this is gonna happen once a month!
Honestly, I'm probably just going to archive this Tumblr and start afresh with a new account.
Sometime between COVID and 2023 I burned bridges with everyone I even remotely considered an online friend during college and grad school. Some people I knew from back in the day have me blocked, and I honestly can't blame them because of some of the things I've felt comfortable saying on my profile about other people.
A Flash of Silver - a theoretical post-credits intro for Silver into the SCU
Aw, to hell with it, I'm posting it here too.
---
"Therefore, your affiant requests that the charges outlined above be filed against the defendant…"
The cramped confines of the Green Hills Sheriff's Department echoed with the ticking of the analog clock in the corner, and the tap-tap-tap of officer Wade Whipple hacking out the last police report of the night.
9:57.
As recently as two weeks ago, this report may have been for something exotic. Terroristic threats, breaking and entering, attempted murder, money laundering…the sort of crime that almost never happened in Green Hills until the blue hedgehog showed his face.
Instead, some punk teenager shoplifted a Ring Pop from the Super Q grocery store. Total value of loss: $2.50. He had to shake his head. Just five years ago they were less than half that much.
From what Wade heard, it wasn't even a limited edition Ring Pop. Just an ordinary blue raspberry.
Wade sighed as he hit Control+P to trigger the printing process. On the surface, the last three weeks without Sonic and his friends should have been a nice change of pace. Ever since they first set foot in the Big Sky Country, Green Hills had seemed to become the world's capital of interdimensional calamity and world-shattering peril.
But it had become the world's capital for something, at least.
His gaze drifted off to the left, and he stole a glance at the wood-grain wall covered from roof-to-ceiling with newspaper clippings of the department's exploits over the decades. Up to just three years ago, the Wachowski family only saw fit to post something once in a blue moon. Stories about public relations initiatives such as D.A.R.E…photo ops with Governor Schwinden…that sort of thing.
Then new additions to the collection came seemingly in torrents, with front-page headlines not just from the local paper – the Green Hills Gazette – but also the New York Times, USA Today, and…less-savory publications that could be found on grocery store checkout lines.
MASS BLACKOUT CRIPPLES COMMUNICATION ACROSS WESTERN HEMISPHERE.
MAYHEM IN SEATTLE - CRIME DOESN'T SPRAY.
MULTI-COLORED ALIENS SPARE TOWN FROM TOTAL DEVASTATION.
Regardless of where they may have come from, Sonic and his friends were citizens of Green Hills. If not in law, then most definitely in spirit.
Wade would never forget his weeklong excursion with the echidna into Nevada.
After Sonic had thrown off the mask of secrecy and became a full-time resident of Green Hills, he sought every morning to surpass his previous top speed down Main Street past the radar gun. By the time he'd disappeared, he'd managed to get it into the 800s.
And yes, the fox had destroyed his cruiser, but through his uncanny intellect, he managed to rebuild it into a more efficient crime-fighting machine with spiked wheels and a paint-spraying gun. Completely free of charge to the department, no less, sparing the town council from having to raise taxes for the next fiscal year.
And then there were the stories he'd heard about the three of them — many of them second-hand from Tom through ice-fishing.
Robberies foiled, children saved from burning buildings, and pets pulled from the tops of trees in cities up and down the west coast of the U.S. and Canada by Sonic's vigilante-style heroics as Blue Justice had garnered the attention of the national press. Once in a while, the blue phantom even managed to do something heroic without causing tens of thousands of dollars in property damage to the city in which he happened to set foot that day.
Apparently Tails had become a frequent visitor to the Green Hills Public Library, where he ravenously devoured all the literature he could find on aviation and quantum mechanics, and the schoolchildren came to adore his presence there — and his ample orange fur.
And Knuckles had spent his time "training" animals in Green Forest to "unlock" their "warrior spirit". Which, in practice, apparently meant taking local deer and running them through his obstacle course until they keeled over from exhaustion and marinated in their own sweat.
There were also rumors of a fourth, pink one who had briefly stopped over.
And then, just as quickly as they arrived, they disappeared. Every time he asked Tom about it, the sheriff quickly shifted the subject to something else.
The day the lights first went out in Green Hills, things were never the same again.
Now things were the same again.
It kinda sucked, to be honest.
Totally accurate Sonic quote
Tornado: *takes shot from one of Eggman's missiles* Tails: Oh no! We've lost one of our engines! Sonic: How far can you take us with just one engine? Tails: All the way to the scene of the crash. Which is perfect, because that's where we're headed. And we'll beat the paramedics there by roughly three hours.
hello friends i'm jim nantz and i long for the sweet release of death
Just read the newest IDW and
*sigh*
So long, decent Shadow characterization over the past 18 months. It was nice knowing you
When I die I want the Baltimore Ravens to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time
Relevant again
Paying attention to the prerelease cycle of a game you're invested in is like going through the five stages of grief at least five different times
And then maybe two more after the game actually comes out
I'm not the biggest fan of IDW but some of the discourse I've seen around the Metal Virus arc tells me that Sonic fans are allergic to the idea of basic stakes and drama for some reason.
I never thought I'd live to see the day when people on the left side of the political spectrum would be using the term "liberal" in the same way that Rush Limbaugh did when he was still alive.
What the fuck happened to this country in the last decade, man
In hindsight I was pearl-clutching like a motherfucker a decade ago after Lost World came out and now I'd give my right arm to have those writers back
You know, I don't think Chad Kroeger ever really answered the question of how he was gonna do it
I'm seeing signs that Sega and Sonic Team might be falling back into their old ways this year.
Charging $70 minimum for what is appearing more and more to be a half-hearted kart racing game which seems to be more an advertisement for Nickelodeon than for Sega, delaying the global release of Sonic Rumble for no good reason (while continuing to promote the game as if the rest of the world had access to it), the botched release of SxSG on the Switch 2, and the current, declining state of the IDW comic (I've noticed that even some of the most dedicated fans of the comic here have started turning on it).
Just because Sonic is more visible than ever before (largely thanks to the movies, and to leeching off of other franchises) doesn't guarantee that the quality of the media will reflect that, and what we've seen of CrossWorlds doesn't exactly scream "we're putting the profits from the movies into making our games better".
Everything, and I mean everything, is riding on the next mainline game. (And no, I don't count SxSG as a mainline game, as the "new" content amounted to four hours at most.) It can't be just another "step in the right direction" like Frontiers was (and I'm not denying that Frontiers was, either, because it undoubtedly was), but it has to be unambiguously a quality game. If they don't hit a home run, then the entire narrative of the 2020s that "we're so back" has been one big lie.
For a game with a base price of $70, it should be said that CrossWorlds may be offering less value for money than Team Sonic Racing, a $40 racing game that came out six years ago and you can probably pick up for two bucks somewhere.
Yeah, that game only had 15 characters, but it also had a story mode (we don't have one confirmed for CrossWorlds yet), better character interactions, better car handling, and an infinitely better soundtrack. For an upcharge of (at least) $30, CrossWorlds offers only three more tracks upon release, a warp gimmick that will probably get old after one week of play, and marginal graphical improvements (if that).
I genuinely wonder if the gaming press have even played the same game I'm seeing, because I've seen nothing but praise across the board and I have no idea why.
If I'm lucky the last-ever issue of IDW Sonic will reveal that the "Sonic" we've been seeing for the past 80+ issues is actually Mimic in disguise
And then the real Sonic will come in and beat him with a chair