the futurist;; @nycstark - Tumblr Blog

time-left-to-kill

et tu brute?

#this looks exactly like the cat that does this to me in my house #he's a menace #cats

oneheadtoanother

#funnier the further away from 2016 it gets

sourcarmellia

i can't be the only person who hates being called neurospicy. it's such a weird term. i'm neurodivergent. i'm disabled. call me that.

#i dont use it but sometimes i see other disabled people use it for themselves which is yknow whatever #i think neurospicy implies violence or chaos of some sort. colloquially spicy could mean chaotic / disgreeable / defensive / even aggressive #like if someone says this dog is spicy. it implies the dog isnt friendly.#im friendly my brain just doesnt work like neurotypicals 🥀#neurodivergent is much more appropriately neutral and CORRECT #adhd

a-silly-poll-side-blog-yay

was your pet expensive to get?

yes

no

not the most expensive but not the cheapest either

for free

it was a gift

found it outside

traded for something

results

Remaining time: 2 days 20 hours

#i voted 'found it outside' bc my most recent cat was a stray in my neighborhood who followed us home #but my first 2 were cheap from rescues (<$100) and my third was free #polls

fremulon

call me a patron of the ass library the way I'm checking out that butt

#nice

guerrillatech

#bob's burgers #👌perfect

whosname

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

#stop this is so funny #i hope it's real #cats

is-that-sand-in-my-waffles

in your early 20s you are going to watch a show that got canceled after 2 seasons. it's very important that you watch this show and make complaining about it never getting the 3rd season it deserved a core piece of your personality.

#in the flesh #<- prev you're SOOOO RIGHT #i will also add #lie to me #✊️😔

silvaurum

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

silvaurum

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

silvaurum

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

fallout-lou-begas

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snoleopard7

truelovevip-deactivated20190324

being as i am an idiot, and having been one my whole life, i just wanna say that i find it very easy to do nothing, and go nowhere. i eat chocolate late at night in the dark. i stand in the garden also. and i’m often waiting for something to happen. and i’m stupid.