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"Our research showed that young gay men strategically invest their self-worth in those areas in which they can succeed, namely academics, appearance, and competition, more so than straight men. Essentially, it seems as if young gay men go to great lengths to prove their worth to others in those domains. This is particularly likely for those who concealed their sexual orientation for long periods of time when growing up and for those who grew up in more stigmatizing states. Our results also showed that being "the best little boy in the world" comes at a cost, as young gay men who invested in these status-related domains were more likely to spend more time alone, to report more daily eating problems, getting into arguments and lying to others, and to feel more stress each day. As previously discussed, besting others at competitive tasks represents one way for young gay men to control a threatening environment, although not without cost." - John Pachankis and Mark Hatzenbuehler
episode 6
twitter inprnt
hudson williams as henry park in YAGA (2006)
The first trailer for Yaga starring Hudson as Henry Park. Premiering in October.
ok I’m gonna let this go for real but I have to do a poll before I do. EVERYONE READ THIS FIRST:
this poll is not about which kh games you have played or own. This poll is strictly about whether you have watched or experienced all the *cutscenes* of the KH games in their entirety. If there are any games you have not seen the full story of, vote “I have not”.
Have you watched every KH title in full?
I have
I have not
Not a KH fan (press this button please don’t mess up my results)
@bookwormally THANK YOU
Idk if you are still taking requests/ideas, but I just posted an *Ilya gets rimmed* fic and I haven't seen any art of this particular scenario yet. So... if you feel inspired. 💕🙏
A bit more than that but I’ve got that planned too.
Art HERE
Heated Rivalry Week 2026 | Day 6: Favorite Scene | And for the record, I am sorry about last time, ok?
Does it fucking kill you too?
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/10 Fandom: Heated Rivalry (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov Characters: Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander, Yuna Hollander, David Hollander, Various Ottawa Centaurs Additional Tags: Mpreg | Male Pregnancy, Pregnant Ilya Rozanov, POV Ilya Rozanov, Post Heated Rivalry, The Long Game Canon Divergence, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, you bottom one time and the universe says ‘bet’ Summary:
In late October, Ilya picks up some kind of freakish Canadian flu that dogs him into November.
It is the weirdest shit. He has to duck out of practice because his nose starts bleeding twice in one week and he wakes up in a hotel in Columbus with another one that leaves stains on the pillow. On the flight back to Ottawa, Hazy drops into the seat next to Ilya midflight and asks, “This isn’t, like, a cocaine thing, right?”
Ilya laughs so hard it’s probably a little rude.
They have a plan. Ilya’s body has a different plan.
chapter two, hot off the presses
chapter three: don'tbesuspicious.gif
chapter four where ignoring problems doesn’t make them go away
chapter five, the only way out is through
chapter six, siri play papa don’t preach
chapter seven, wherein the centaurs don’t have a maternity leave policy
chapter nine, fake it til you make it
chapter ten, a doctor and a best friend walk into a bar
chapter eleven, [ilya dislikes that]
chapter twelve, fucking toronto
chapter thirteen, siri play life is a highway
Fandom is so obsessed with contrasts in ships that they force them onto hollanov, a couple who are FAMOUSLY supposed to be similar. There is no slutty one and prudish one. They both love sex. There is no smart one and dumb one. They both excel at the same career where traditional metrics of academic intelligence don't apply. There is no jock and nerd. They are both professional athletes. There is no neatfreak and slob. They both pay other people to clean their houses. Please release yourself from the need to manufacture an opposites attract dynamic in every facet of their relationship, ESPECIALLY when the central conceit of hollanov as a couple is that they're more alike than everyone else seems to think.
disclaimer that i am not russian or japanese — but it does annoy me when people like. try to assign canonical purpose for why shane and ilya’s relationships to their cultural heritage are so shallow. writing an assimilationist narrative for shane hollander is very interesting and could prescribe a lot of meaning to shane’s emotional distance to others. it could provide a lot of meaningful commentary on homogenous hockey culture, both from shane’s relative isolation as a person of colour and how hockey as an institution actively punishes and ostracises athletes who do not actively conform to established standards. see zayne parekh for just one example. how would shane and yuna’s relationship to canada the nation be shaped by the aftermath of the war measures act? shane’s suppression of his sexuality, of his personal wants and needs, of his racial identity, of his neurodivergence, of everything that might make him less broadly marketable to a (white) audience, could be a very apt depiction of how the lived experiences of people of colour is flattened and simplified in order to be considered consumable. shane’s fears are born from the precarious position he inhabits in all aspects of his life.
by the same token, ilya’s perspective on russia is shaped by disconnection — he has an abusive father, a deceased mother, and a fraught relationship with his brother. in the books, the only other figure we know from his childhood is the unnamed son of his coach. without svetlana, russia should be a cornerstone comparison between ilya’s past and ilya’s future. the nhl does not employ translators for their athletes, so even fluency in english would have left ilya in a vulnerable position as a teenager arriving in a foreign country. the sole person he speaks fluent russian to regularly in tlg is galina the therapist. what would his relationship to other, older russian players be like? was he billeted with another russian like sergei gonchar and evgeni malkin? was this a kindness? would ilya’s relative, established isolation from others be driven by the fear of receiving the same abuse in the same language, regardless of how far he ran from home? has russia the nation been so thoroughly poisoned for him that he cannot imagine ever going back, even though a part of him will always live there in the dirt with his mother?
however. this is all conjecture. shane doesn’t mention his japanese heritage a scant one (1) time in the long game because of a purposeful assimilationist narrative — it’s because reid is not interested in exploring this aspect of his identity. shane is comparatively raceless in the book itself, although the actual nature of his story is still transparently impacted by how reid herself perceives race. ilya only mentions russia during arguments with shane, but otherwise does not seem to feel any particularly complex feelings about having no significant relationships with other russian players. while reid has been lauded for incorporating russian culture into ilya’s character, the storytelling remains relatively shallow. despite ilya’s desperation to leave russia permanently, ilya’s passport is not mentioned a single time in the long game. the absence of how shane and ilya’s identities might reasonably drive their relationship issues, miscommunications, and personal challenges is stark. why include race and immigration and cultural identity as elements of these characters if you refuse to consider how these elements would impact their actions? or at the very least, why try to prescribe intentionality and complexity for decisions that seem to exist solely as window dressing?
tfb lyric parallels:
carry me down the street (2008) & twin size mattress (2013)
It's my lucky charm; be sure to bring it back to me!
love them so much. i wanna keep drawing them foreverrrr
I'm just playing with this idea but
What if Shane gets outed super early in his career. Like rookie season or second season. Maybe he misses some important event because he's with Ilya and oversleeps and when he's confronted it all comes out. Something like that. Importantly, Ilya isn't outed but he's involved enough that he is or could feel at least a little bit responsible.
So Shane is outed and forced off his team and out of hockey in general. He's young and stupid and angry with himself and with Ilya so he ends things with Ilya completely. He's kinda mean about it, does it over the phone and furious.
Shane tries to move on with his life. He gets a normal job, meets normal people, dates normal men. But it's always weird and uncomfortable. If Shane washed out of hockey for any of the normal reasons almost no one would remember years later but people remember the first out gay hockey player and what happened after he was outed. I don't really have a strong idea of what Shane does for this period. Maybe he does real estate full time. Maybe he becomes a personal trainer. Maybe the flips houses. What matters is that after enough time, this feels like his real life, and hockey feels like something he thought he was gonna do as a kid.
He would say he doesn't think about Ilya anymore, because why would he think about the guy he exchanged blowjobs with one time at 18, but of course he thinks about Ilya. He doesn't watch hockey, but it's in the air enough that he sees Ilya on TV. And even if he didn't he googles Ilya sometimes at night and binge watches all his interviews and clips since the last time he googled him. Shane tried really hard to hate Ilya after everything and he got pretty close for a few years. He would imagine going back to when he was outed and dragging Ilya with him, or his secret comfort, the fantasy of Ilya coming out in solidarity, the two of them together against the world, in love.
How does this play out? When do they see each other again? Maybe Shane makes a public statement on the ten year anniversary of his outing that triggers Ilya to reach out. Maybe he writes his memoirs. Maybe he wins some award and Ilya is at the ceremony for whatever reason.
I like the idea though that an out gay kid is drafted into the mlh and suddenly Shane is relevant again in a way he hasn't been for years. Maybe he's drafted very high by Boston, where Ilya is still captain.
(Ilya has of course spent the last decade constructing a mental party palace out of his guilt and denial and regrets and hedonism and forgetting and remembering. He thinks about Shane every day. He never thinks about Shane. Was Shane even real or just some strange dream he had? He only thinks about Shane when he's jerking off. He only thinks about Shane when he fucks something else up.
And now he has this kid he's responsible for. He's nothing like Shane. He's swedish or something and so blond he doesn't have eyebrows and he's a strange combination of so straightforward he's almost rude and incredibly cocky. Ilya likes him and Ilya can't stand to be around him. And then they're comparing him to Shane and all these articles are coming out about how hockey failed Shane Hollander and all Ilya can see is that Ilya failed shane Hollander. So he's way too supportive of his new rookie. Borderline inappropriately friendly. It's okay because it's hockey, but Ilya does invite the rookie to all the team veterans get togethers and gives him a really intense whispered pep talk about how Ilya will murder anyone who gives him trouble. Opponent teammate staff person on the street it doesn't matter just let him know who.
It builds up in Ilya and he feels like he's going crazy and at the year end party he ends up drunkenly telling the rookie everything that happened with Shane. The rookie is drunk too and doesn't really speak enough English for this conversation but he gets the main idea. Enough to realize that his captain is coming out to him and has some kind of fucked up lost love situation going on. He flags down Marly for back up but by this point Ilya is incoherent.)
Shane ends up agreeing to one single interview with a gay culture and current events news source. It's the first time he's ever spoken publicly about what happened and his first interview since he was a professional hockey player. He spends a lot of time thinking about what he wants to say, but eventually he thinks, fuck it all, and gives a really biting breakdown of homophobia in hockey and pro sports. He names names. He comes with citations for specific things that were said about him. He comes with his bitchiest face on like armor, but the interviewer is a middle aged gay man with blue sparkly nail polish and Shane has grown up and learned to trust this type of gay to have his back and at the end the guy asks if he can hug him and Shane surprises himself with how much he wants that and how much better he feels after.
The guy asked if Shane knew any other professional athletes who were closeted and Shane took a single shaky breath before answering, just one, and he's still in it. The interview is on video and that question and answer goes viral because of how Shane looks. He cuts his eyes to the side, shuts them, inhales, and flutters his eyes open. Just one. Everyone is asking who was Shane's just one until Shane has to make a statement that people shouldn't take his interview about how awful it was to be outed as a pro hockey player as an invitation to out another pro hockey player.
The only person who has all the info to put it all together, is the gay rookie, who watches Shane's interview over the summer break and spends the rest of the summer making his boyfriend listen to him rant about what he's supposed to do about his gay captain in love with Shane Hollander. And then Shane DMs him something earnest on Twitter like, hey I know it can be a lot, let me know if you ever need to talk. And the poor rookie is slamming his phone face down on the table and thinking about asking to be traded to somewhere less gay actually.
sometimes a fic can just be about the age old question 'how emotionally bad for everyone involved can a threesome be when they all did in fact agree to be there'